Monthly Archives: September 2010

Twitter-related news!

Hello, people! This is RobSp1derp1g with a special bulletin!

*news bulletin sound*

Only minutes ago, I received word that Miranda Cosgrove (‘Carly’ on iCarly) was following me. I was doing a puzzle at the time.

And that concludes my special bulletin!

iGet Pranky – Review

“When the moon hits your eyes, like a something, something pie. That’s amore…”

Oh, it’s on again! And I was singing again… Gawd…

Welcome to my iGet Pranky review! In a few moments, we will start reading the review and you will start imagining what it would be like if it was a video review. If, for any reason, you start to feel nausea while reading this review, it’s your problem, not mine. :D As for emergency exits, there is only one: the small red X on the top-right corner of the screen. Let’s try not to use it…

Shall we begin? And begin we shall!

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, The iCarly Studio \\

Gibby is standing on a vessel with lots of hair-like objects…

Cotton candy, Gibs? Come on…

What? All of these 10 seconds, Gibby was standing on random hair? You mean it’s not a material with similar qualities and properties than those of hair? That’s surprisingly surprising!!

Manny’s barber shop. Another business saved thanks to iCarly… Is there anything these 3 guys won’t do?

That’s discrimination, Freddie! Although I understand your point.

These are the moments when you realize that the show has come a long way. In the start of the show, Gibby wouldn’t even be allowed in the iCarly studio. Now, there is a time for him to get OFF the studio! Talk about character development!!

Sam starts with the ever-so-random-and-usual insults to Freddie. But this time he tries to fight back. VIEWER WARNING: Any attempt of insulting Samantha ‘Sam’ Puckett after she insulted you, will most likely result in a very expensive hospital bill.

A bleeding pickle. I must admit, the prank’s pretty awesome. But I think the dad got some kind of trauma thanks to it.
I feel sorry for the pickle’s children. My prayers go with mustard.

++ Title Sequence ++

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, Carly’s bedroom \\

The gang including Gibby are chillin’ out after another successful webcast.

Sam is dead?? NOOO!! She died as she lived. Being lazy… *Phoebe whispers something* Oh, she’s not dead? Oh, that’s a relief…

Carly is playing in Godzilla’s Pearpad Nano. Come on, that thing’s bigger than her…

While Gibby wonders about the history of the hair he has in his hand…

…Freddie releases a baloon he has been filling.

Spencer is calling Gibby. Incessantly.

Why do you want that bucket of hair for? The mind of the Gibmeister.

As Gibby walks through the door, Godzilla’s PearPad Nano is showing one webpage: Dan Schneider’s blog.

Carly: Yes, she’s asleep.
Freddie: You know what I’m gonna say, so there’s no point in me saying it.

Yo, Shay!! Don’t do that again, otherwise Benson over there will pay the price! Two US dollars!

Sam can throw a pillow hard enough to throw someone of a bed. And pillows don’t fly that well. I think that’s because they don’t have wings.

Bleeding pickle… You will be missed.

A wise decision by Carly. But it might be a funny story from Sam…

Now, 2 questions rose to the top of my head:
– How did she make a cop think his feet for cut off?
– How is that a funny prank?

Raisons in a kid’s hat? Freddie, even I have pulled funnier pranks than that…

Doesn’t this conversation remind you guys of anything? Anything at all? Something purple, maybe? That’s right, this is a twisted-and-turned version of the “two friends and a co-worker” part of iKiss. Prove me wrong, Dan! Prove me wrong… Actually don’t, it’s better this way…

Carly has never pulled a prank on anyone… except for knock-knock jokes.

Let me get this straight: when you meet the right person, you will prank them? Okay, but then that person will never want to see you again. Unless your name is Sam and his name is Freddie. Then it’s aaaaaaaaall good.

See, kids? Peer pressure is a good thing!! By the way, I’m being sarcastic!

// Scene: Ridgeway High, Hallway \\

We get to see the Gibmeister in action! For older fans, his reputation is almost as good as Steve Stiffler’s!

A prank involving placing a fish in someone’s locker… Where did I see that before?

Gibby’s way more positive than Freddie. Remember how he reacted?

I’m forced to agree with Sam on this one.

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, the Shay’s living room \\

Carly is watching an old episode of Drake and Josh with Megan talking on the screen. Instead on wondering why does that little girl look like her, she wonders why is she so good at pranking people.
One word of advice, Carly. If you want to learn something, learn from the best. In this case, Megan Parker.

Spencer’s spoon hat is quite good, actually. Here, in the Portuguese version of Project Runway (in which one of my favorite comedians was a guest judge), a woman tried to do a dress out of spoons. Incredibly, it worked…

Eating soup with a fork… not unprecedented.

“Nothing’s stupid to a guy in a spoon hat.” You gotta admit the truth in that sentence…

Why do you have to go now, Spencer?

“Can you please just respect that? No.”

This is the part where Spencer tells us and his sister what he did.

The title “King” is always prestigious. Try saying “Elvis is the Prince.” It sounds fake.

Notice how the camera zooms on Spencer and the music turns as the scene changes… It seems kinda Hitchcock-ish…

It’s funny how a story on Spencer’s prank record turned into an English class.

Spencer can’t say ‘no’ to a girl wearing a spoon hat.

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, The iCarly Studio \\

Sam and Freddie just arrived at the iCarly studio after receiving a text message from Carly.

Apparently they got a treat from Nevel…

And that treat is… Carly’s severed head. Carly’s severed head???

Oh, it’s just a prank… pulled by Spencer and Carly…

Remember how someone used to say “Let the rueing begin.”? I say “Let the pranking begin!!”

Spencer is completely out of control! He keeps pranking everyone! Even random strangers!

– Commercial Break –

Spencer is watching TV and it’s his own voice coming out of it. Which leads me to believe that it’s Jerry himself on the TV.

He needs Socko’s lawyer to sign a contract. Great.

You know when Carly is serious when she resorts to murder threats…

I must admit, the Plexiglass in front of the elevator prank is pretty cool.

Baby Spencer doesn’t want to sign a contract.

A shock pen. So old.

But it works on Freddie…

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, Basement \\

Gibby is now traumatized. He’s still afraid to pee.

“You can’t touch the king!!” I think Elvis said that once.

// Scene: The Groovy Smoothie \\

Glow-in-the-dark face cream? Spencer likes to innovate.

Am I the only one who is in favor of the nunchucks?

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, 8th floor Hallway \\

Spencer is entering his home.

There is a class reunion in his house.

Carly decides to record the intervention on video. And during the time that she takes to get her camera, Spencer is beaten up. I’d like to say Karma, but I won’t…

~~ Seddie moments!! ~~

  • In the beginning, Sam throws the pillow at Freddie, even though he did nothing.
  • The conversation about pranks was reminiscent of the “first kiss” talk on iKiss.
  • The dead fish prank was first mentioned on iKiss.
  • The shock pen bit. We all thought it was a taser or something…

And some more I must have missed.

== My opinion ==
It was a very funny episode, as it is to be expected.
When we think we know everything there is to know about Spencer, Dan drops this on top of us.

And now, I’d like to pay my respects to someone who passed away last night.

RIP Bleeding Pickle
3-21-2010 – 9-25-2010
Beloved Father, Son, Husband and Snack

Special note about iGet Pranky

Welcome, true believers and newcomers alike! Proud Seddieshipper RobSp1derp1g here! You know how 2 weeks ago, a large number of us tried to do the impossible. We tried to trend the #seddie hashtag with no success, but we know why. Because the episode was not expected to have Seddie scenes on it. However, this one does. Read the rest of this entry

iSpeed Date – Review

Hello, my good people of Earth! Having a good time? Me too.

Since I’m in a somewhat visitor streak, I’ve decided to make another review! This time the episode will be…

iSpeed Date!

That’s right, it’s iSpeed Date review time.

Now a few of you guys will most likely go like, “Say what?” or “What the…?” or even “Bloody hell!”

To those I say only this: read the review. I’ll explain later why I’m reviewing this episode.

Review, go!
Read the rest of this entry

iSam’s Mom – Review

My friends, the time has come. On September 11th, 2010, a new person was introduced to us. Their name: Pam Puckett. Her game: you don’t wanna know…

As you might know, Phoebe’s back from her time off and she has a Seddie-themed soundboard. So prepare for more sounds. *clapping sounds*

Now, as Gibby would say: “Let’s do this!”

The episode starts with Carly entering the iCarly studio, and Freddie’s there doing some sort of thing to the camera.

Of course Sam’s not here yet! The episode has barely began!!

“Are those new pants?” While I might regret what I’m about to say, how did Carly know those were new pants? But those pants are pretty cool…
Oh, and Freddie’s hip-swivel. Totally normal gesture. When I have a new pair of pants, I swivel my hips to show them off… By the way, I was being sarcastic!

“They sell pants for men now.” “Then you should have bought some.” Oh, Carly… When did you start to mess with Freddie, in the Sam way?

I thing I have to mention, or else it’s gonna get forgotten. Is it just me, or does Gibby look a lot like Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama? The only thing that’s missing is the “Whoop whoop whoop” while clapping his claws… And that is a disturbing thought.

Every time a TV host cuts something out of the show’s alignment because they’re out of time, they are clearly kidding…

You’re mad, Gibby? You shouldn’t be. You know why? Because she warned you!!!

Freddie’s punchline kills me! “Would you say you’re… steamed?” Not the most appropriated word when talking to a boy with fake lobster claws. And now would be the time for Dr. Zoidberg’s Whoop whoop…

It was funny, Carly, admit it. But Gibby didn’t find that line that much funny.

A little etiquette lesson from Sam. Phoebe, some soft violin music, please.
*Soft violin music starts playing*
How to correctly enter a room:
Step 1: You step by the door and wait until someone’s talking.
Step 2: As soon as you know that someone’s talking, you barge in asking for anti-itch cream.
And that’s the correct way to enter a room.
Courtesy of whoever did it first, I don’t feel like checking names.
Cut the music, Phoebe.
*Soft violin music stops*

Whoa, Sam’s not responding to Freddie with insults? I think she’s ill…

Oh, that explains it. Mrs. Puckett has been driving her daughter insane. I feel kinda bad for Sam…

Why am I not surprised? Sam eating chicken. (A small personal note.: My mom’s a big fan of iCarly.

But she doesn’t know the TV show’s name. So, she calls it “Fried Chicken”. And when she sees Jennette  McCurdy, she goes “That’s the girl from “Fried Chicken.”)
5, 4, 3, 2, and Sam keeps talking… This footage is for the blooper reel, or something on “Candid Camera”…

Freddie’s ultracool attitude is incredible. Really, he’s so calm and collected when he says that…

Maybe ’cause he’s not the one on camera…

Well, better late than never, I always say…

Let’s see the new opening credits! *Leave It All to Me starts playing*
~~ Opening Credits Analysis ~~
The first clear difference is the layout of the browser winder, I mean, window. It now has tabs! One with Hungry Girl’s website and one with Schneider’s Bakery e-mail account. Did you update that browser, Dan? :D

Wow, some new special effects! Rockin’! Did Sam just tase Freddie? Why is Sam spanking Freddie’s butt? And for my fellow Seddiers, a little fun fact. If you see when Sam is spanking Freddie, the clips on the right are from (from top to bottom: iTwins, iMeet Fred and iThink They Kissed. You know what this means, right?)

I just saw an image that created this line in my head. “My name is Shay. Spencer Shay” Spencer as a secret agent. Awesomeness…

What’s up with all of that Staff people? And why is Freddie disoriented. And you can tell that Sam’s worried about him, just by the way she reaches for Freddie. I saw this Viking-looking guy, so I take this is footage from Webicon 2010.

The ending shot was cool. The starting fourm, as I call them, holding random objects.

~~ Opening Credits Analysis Ended~~

++ Setting: Bushwell Plaza – Carly’s new and technologically ultra-advanced room ++

Carly is sleeping peacefully in her bed. Something is bound to happen. It HAS to happen.

Ah, a burglar is in Carly’s ro… Oh, it’s just Sam… Ah, Sam is in Carly’s room! I’d prefer if it was a burglar.

And she keeps rambling about something, but I can’t quite figure out what.

Maybe it’s the way Miranda said the line, but I think “it’s 4 o’clock in the freaking morning” doesn’t sound correct here. But Dan’s the TV producer, not me.

What better time to move in to someone’s house than at 4 o’clock in the morning? Maybe 4 o’clock in the afternoon, but Sam Puckett isn’t like other people…

You see? Spencer and I had the same thoug… A sand duster, Spencer? Really?

Let’s get this straight: Someone picks your lock at 4 o’clock in the morning, you are forced to share the room with them, and your brother was going to make eggs at their request, WILLINGLY? My goodness, the world’s going insane…

Carly does not have lice, Spencer, why are you using the sand duster on her?

// During the scene transition \\

The computer that supposedly contains all iCarly video files has 2 operating systems, one built into the other! We have Windows on the background, but the layout of the video-editing software is from a Mac! I never got to mention that in a review or anything like that.

++ Setting: The Groovy Smoothie ++

Spy Glasses: A new item for personal surveillance. Keep you and your family safe and sound thanks to these innovative glasses. They include a tiny video camera that will for sure make your life miserable. The price: only 10 dollars. Can you put a price on your family’s safety? I thought so. And if you could, it would not be 10 dollards. SPY GLASSES! They keep you safe. Or not. Available at the Schneider chain store.

A flash chip that can hold up to 6 hours of video? Awesome! I want some of those glasses!

GIBBEH!

Freddie and Gibby looking at blondes… You are an evil genius, Dan… :) Come on, Gibby! You have a girlfriend! Tasha? Ring any bells?

Freddie, I have a very strong opinion on these cases. And it goes like this: You should have started to “capture the moment on video” the moment those 2 girls walked in!

Gibby’s dream is to be a movie direction. His professionalism when he says “action”. He has talent.

I know for a fact that the “dumb blonde” thing is not true. But those girls are incredibly stupid. It sounds like when Josh walked into a guitar store and asks “Do you sell guitars?”

Ah, a burglar just walked into the Groovy Smoot… Yep, it’s a burglar. Ah, a burglar just walked into the Groovy Smoothie!!! Call the police! Or Sam! Or the police and Sam! Anything!

Dan, let me tell you something. This is one of the best TV/movie staged robberies I’ve ever seen.

“He’s getting away!” No chiz, lady!

Gibby, the kid who saved the d… Gosh, darn it!

T-Bo’s reaction was priceless! “That guy took over 300 bucks! Jerk!”

There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Gibby. You were slower than him, and that’s okay.

Awesome. The Groovy Smoothie has been robbed, the identity of the thief is a mistery, and T-Bo’s principal concern are the cables. Groovy. Sorry for the bad pun.

“Shut up!” “True chiz!” Look at this incredible interaction… He saved the store, and instead of the rightful recognition Freddie deserved, he gets… a coupon. Buy 12 smoothies and get the smoothie number 13 with 10% off price. That is a bargain.

++ Setting: The Shay’s appartment ++

Sam is watching TV and Carly is walking down the stairs.

A half-eaten what?

That’s kinda obvious, Sam!

New Penny-T! “Bacon Farm”. Makes sense, when you think about it…

Something’s obviously wrong. Sam leaving her pan…, I mean, underwear in the stairs?
And I actually prefer underwear.

“Celebrities Under Water” returns! I wish it was a real show. It’d be cool to see Megan Fox swimming…

Sam deleted Spencer’s Celebrities Under Water? AHHHHHHHH!!

It’s clear that Spencer is not informed… “STAIRS, STAIRS, STAIRS.”

Of course you are, Spencer, everyone would be.

== Timeskip to The Groovy Smoothie ==

Freddie is upset. T-Bo gave him a coupon and when he tries to redeem it, T-Bo won’t accept it.
Oh, the coupon’s expired.

T-Bo’s getting interviewed! By Dave Mercer. The newscaster T-Bo watches 2, maybe 3 times a year.

He had to buy new cables!!

T-Bo’s face is priceless!

Freddie now gets the recognition he deserves. And even some more.

He’s Freddie Benson, lives in Bushwell Plaza, in apartment 8D. And he’s never kissed a girl. oh, wait, that was last time…

That’s it, Freddie is done for.

== Timeskip to: The Shay’s apartment ==

Carly just got home. Sam has nearly destroyed her kitchen.

The way Carly speedwalks to the kitchen is incredible.

Carly tries to reason with Sam. Without success. It’s like the saying goes. If at first you don’t succeed,…

call Pam Puckett.

Introducing Mama’s mama, Pam Puckett! Portrayed by Jane Lynch. An amazing actress for an amazing part.

“You don’t deserve my parts!” Now we see where Sam Puckett got her replies from…

“Who told you that? Your parole officer?” “At least I call my parole officer!” I think there should be one parole officer for every member of the Puckett family. Except for Melanie, but you never know…

“Why don’t you take a bath?” “‘Cause you didn’t pay the water bill!” Clever!

## Commercial break ##

++ Same setting as above ++

That is definitely the biggest bag of beans I’ve ever seen. Now say that 3 times. Come on, I dare you.

The Pucketts are a tornado. Wherever they go, they leave a trail of destruction and insults. Mostly destruction.

Welcome, Mrs. Benson! I see you packed your bags…

“Why does your chest look all thick?” “I’ve been working out. You know, pushups and milk.” Milk? Milk can develop your physical constitution? Hmm, maybe I should drink some more myself. *goes get milk*

*comes back* Here I am, with a glass of milk.

A bullet-proof vest? Then what do I do with the milk? *looks at the milk* Well, I might as well… *drinks the milk*By the way, you can’t say Freddie’s not prepared… “That’s quite a sports bra…”

And people say iCarly isn’t educational. Bullet-proof vests are made of kevlar.
Dumbo?

Boiling the silverware? Oh, my God…

++ Setting: Pschneider Psychiatric Center ++

They don’t have anything sharp in their pockets. Now, can you help them, Mr. Doctor Psychiatric Shrink.

Carly feared for her life…

We get to see Pam Puckett’s legendary dating skills in use. That’s a previlege.

“Pardon my mommy’s desperation.” “Pardon my daughter’s personality.” This is a proof of how great an actress Jennette McCurdy is.

== Timeskip to: The Shay’s apartment ==

I feel bad for Carly. For 2 days in a row, she comes home to find a person she didn’t invite into her house using her kitchen.

“Carly Shay, webshow host”.

We are introduced to Gunsmoke. He’s a bodyguard. Now, I must say something. This is discrimination from Mrs. Benson. She only wants to guard Freddie’s body? What about Freddie’s mind and soul? Can they be mauled by Shadowhammer? Apparently they can!

A hole in his leg as big as his thumb? if he wasn’t shot, how did the hole get there?

If Gunsmoke was a robot, this is how he’d see the setting:

Object:snowcome machine
Potentiality as a lethal weapon: moderate, if thrown to the head, otherwise, none
Fun to destroy: Oh, yeah!
That’s why he destroyed it.

Correction, Spencer, Freddie need to be protected from you as well. Remember the fire on the ringbell down on the lobby? That’s what I’m talking about.

Oh, Spencer…

== Timeskip to: Pschneider Psychiatric Center ==

Remember what I said about the Pucketts? I reiterate my previous statement.

Unless they express their feelings through fights and screams, it’s true, Mr. Doctor Psychiatric Shrink.

I think that was a compliment.

They’re not jewish… Great remark by Sam.

They can’t stay 5 seconds without fighting…

They are forced to talk to get out of there. Let’s see how long it lasts.

== Timeskip to: The Shay’s Apartment ==

Spencer, Gunsmoke and Carly are watching a movie.

Freddie’s following a special diet, forced by his mom.

“The Killing War” sounds (and apparently is) violent.

And lemonade’s for ballerinas, apparently.

++ Transition to: Pschneider Psychiatric Center ++

Sam and Pam are still at it.

Geez, fighting on and on like that for 9 hours? Sam and Pam may be crazy, but the doctor just  reached the border of insanity.

Great, now all 3 are in there with no chance of escaping a certain death. Oh, sorry, turned my eyes to the TV for a moment, Indiana Jones is on.

This is a 3-way not-so-random discussion, brought to you by Pschneider Psychiatric Center.

== Timeskip to: the Shay’s apartment ==

I gotta tell ya, if my mom was like Mrs. Benson, I’d have moved out a LONG time ago.

VENGEANCE OF THE SPENCER!! I’m betting Freddie’s getting payback for all those Baby Spencer segments.

Spencer’s idea is actually good…

And Gunsmoke is watching Full House…

== Timeskip to: Pschneider Psychiatric Center ==

Sam, Pam and Carly are trapped in the therapy box.

We find that Sam had a bunny named Fluffles, and he was sold. To foreigners. What kind of foreigners would want a bunny?Also, Sam tells Pam that she sabotaged her mom’s relationship witha rich doctor called Steven, by telling him she got hit by a bus.

Now, for me, this is the best line of the episode: “What’s iCarly?” It’s so epic!!

“They’re both horrible in their own ways!” Is that any way to talk to one’s best friend and her mother?

“Nyehhh! Nyehhh!” I have a theory. I think that whatever the goat did on Carly’s birthday, she got something in her. That would explain her goat-like screams.

“You got girl cramps?” It kills me.

Carly’s claustrophobic.

Aww, Sam. This was your second major act of altruism anyone has ever seen. You know what the first was…

A sentimental moment between the two Pucketts.

I can hear Sam’s voice starting to crack. Was she supposed to do that?

They kiss and make up. While Carly crawls on the floor screeching like a goat, due to her claustrophobia.

And Spencer’s idea worked, as impossible as it may seem.

My opinion on the episode: From the moment I found out that Jane Lynch was gonna be in the episode, I knew it was impossible for the episode not to be funny. And I was right! This was one of the best iCarly episodes ever. Jane’s performance was incredible! Actually, “incredible” seems like an understatement. Sam and Pam’s interaction is off-the-charts awesome. The new credits are fantastic, really.

So, until we meet again, have a Seddietastic Seddietember and have your daily Seddie fix!

Incredible news!!

Hello, my wonderfully amazing group of people who like to read this blog-thingy!! If you’re here then you must have somehow found my site. I’m guessing it was either from Google or something.

This blog recently got the attention of certain people who live within this wonderful universe. I’m talking about someone who’s admired by many people the world over, and no, I’m not talking about Ryan Seacrest (but how awesome would it be if Ryan, I’m sorry, Mr. Seacrest actually saw this blog?)

The person I’m talking about is none other than, Mr. Warp, Dan Schneider!

That’s right, folks! Our good friend will be reading my review on the upcoming episode iSam’s Mom!

I know you all take my word for it, but there are a few skeptical people who won’t believe my words. To them, I say this:

“A picture is worth a thousand words.”

This is huge, I know. for a blog that is only 1 month old, this is, as the title says, incredible news!

Also, I have a Seddie contest going on and would like more participants. More info on it here.

So, my friends, get ready, the next review is going to knock you guys out. A RobSp1derp1g promise.

Until the next review, have a Seddietastic Seddietember and have your daily Seddie fix!

PS: Oh, and for those who care, Phoebe returned yesterday. So, the next review will have lots of sound effects!!

SEDDIE CONTEST!!!!

It’s that time of the season…! Scientists claim that the mind is more active by the end of the summer. It’s a fact, I think… But even if it isn’t, there is no better time for me to hold a contest. So, put those creative Seddie minds into gear! I’ll be doing a fanart, fanfiction, and even fanvid contest! Read the rest of this entry

iReunite With Missy – Reencontro com a Missy – Review – PT

*a cantar* It don’t take money, don’t take fame, don’t need no credit card to ride this train.
It’s strong and it’s sudden and… Ah, está ligado!

Olá a todos! Como vai tudo?

Vocês apanharam-me a cantar uma das melhores músicas de todos os tempos. Ah, tempo. Que conceito fascinante…

A maioria das pessoas acha que o tempo é como um rio, que flui rápida e definitivamente numa direcção. Mas eu já vi o rosto do tempo, e posso vos dizer, eles estão errados. O tempo é um oceano numa tempestade. Vocês podem perguntar-se quem eu sou ou porque digo isso. Sente-se e eu contar-lhes-ei um conto como nenhum que vocês já ouviram…

Por que razão começo de repente a citar filmes e videojogos? Eu tenho que mandar arranjar isso… Read the rest of this entry

iReunite With Missy – Review

*singing* It don’t take money, don’t take fame, don’t need no credit card to ride this train. It’s strong and it’s sudden and… Oh, it’s on!

Hello everyone! How’s every little thing?
You have caught me singing to one of the best songs of all time. Time. Such a fascinating concept…

Most people think time is like a river, that flows swift and sure in one direction. But I have seen the face of time, and I can tell you, they are wrong. Time is an ocean in a storm. You may wonder who I am or why I say this. Sit down and I will tell you a tale like none you have ever heard…

Why do I start randomly quoting movies and videogames… I have to get this fixed…

Anyhow, I think you’re here for my next review, right? This time the episode will be… I said, will be… oh, right. Phoebe’s not here for the week and the drum’s broken. *takes 2 pens and starts drumming them* Homemade drum roll… The episode will be… The one what tied with iKiss on my poll. And that episode is… a good one. And that episode’s name… starts with an ‘i’. Should I stop stating the obvious? Hell, yes! The episode is iReunite With Missy! 217 in production order.

But enough of this. Episode review, start!

We all love big boxes like the one Spencer is carrying…

Events of the day:
1) Carly got an A on her geometry test. Geometry’s easy, so…

2) Sam had fish sticks for lunch. Fish sticks are good. It reminds me of this quote by the man himself, Homer Simpson: “Hmm, unprocessed fish sticks…”

3) Freddie’s locker was robbed! What was stolen? Just the sleeves and his pants legs. Personally, I think that look might actually become a trend.

Sam blames the tartar sauce. Sure, Sam, it’s all the sauce’s fault.

See? Carly’s right. You’re all friends… not friends and a co-worker.

“Would that make you happy?” I crack up.

I wonder if Freddie got too hurt. It sounded like he did.

But his mom was cool about it. She only screamed once when Freddie hit the shelf.

Why would Spencer have cheese on a box? Man, it sounds like some kind of product…

Oh, a camping trip! Count me in! Who’s going?

*gulp* Socko’s grandmother? Count me out, Spence… Is she the brick lady? What? I’m only asking… There’s no crime in that, is there, Sam? *hears whispers* Sam says no.

Spencer goes on a camping trip, leaving his little teenage sister and her meat-craving best friend at home and Mrs. Benson says nothing about it? I mean, come on!! Isn’t she trying to make him more responsible? No? My mistake then.

A puppet show about personal hygiene? Was it Oompé, the poopet? Random? Yeah, much…

Why does Carly want the flare gun for?

Guadalajara, Sam? That’s like, somewhere, outside…

We meet Missy, who is portrayed by Miranda Cosgrove’s real life best friend Haley Ramm. Only fairly recently, I have discovered that Haley had portrayed Gwen Tennyson on Ben 10: Race Against Time. I saw that movie and I didn’t recognize her. I feel like such a bad fan…

Fangirl squeaks. It hurts to much to hear it…

Carly and Missy go back a long time.

There’s the flare gun…

~~ Title Sequence ~~

– Setting: Ridgeway High School –

Mr. Howard is announcing the School at Sea program to the student community.

Pretending to study? People actually study in there! Look at… No, he didn’t go in it. But what about… She got seasick… Oh, this one actually studied in one of those. Cody Martin! *Alarm and flashing hazard lights turn on* *Off-voice says “Disney-related content has been mentioned”* *pushes a button* I have GOT to get this thing updated. The point being, you actually study in there.

Freddie wants to win that contest. Bad enough to go into the mob full of kids while quoting “The Matrix”. ‘I’m going in.’ Both “Neo” (Keanu Reeves) and “Trinity” (Carrie-Ann Moss) say that line.

What’s up with Kevin’s onion ring? Now I’m curious. Yet something tells me that I might regret it.

Navy members can request airborne transportation for family stuff. That’s a fact. Or not.

That teacher is officially the worst thing I have layed my eyes on… That blue thing on top of her eyes… *goes to corner, gets into fetal position and starts rocking himself while saying “It’s blue. It’s blue! The the freakin eye shadow is blue!!”*

>>> Transition to: Bushwell Plaza’s basement <<<

Spencer is getting his sleeping bag. What events will unfold while he is in here? Let’s watch…

A little question for my readers. Can anyone tell me what is written in the box behind Spencer? I can only make out “… red … B’s” If you know what’s written, please leave a comment. If you don’t, leave a comment.

That seems heavy…

>>> Transition to: The Shay’s kitchen <<<

I don’t mind that military people use airborne transportation for their own personal reasons, but landing a helicopter in a pizza store parking lot just to get some pizza? That’s… that’s… do they have mushrooms in that pizza place? They do? Then I don’t mind at all…

“Wanna punch? Yeah, punch me.” I’m sure that Sam might do that…

We see Sam entering the Shay’s apartment with a piñata shell. Where did she get that? Definitely not at the meat festival. Unless… Oh my God, it’s full of meat! YAY, meat piñata!!

“Colorful shells full of empty promises” Good one, Sam! I swear that’s one of the best lines ever. Get it? “Promises?” “Swear.” My jokes aren’t what they used to be…

“She wahooed my phone!” Now’s your chance, Sam! she wanted to be punched, so, punch her! I wanna see a chick fight!

Persian chocolates? Sounds yummy. I met a Persian prince, he had to fight the incarnation of Fate. And he won.

>>> Transition to: Bushwell Plaza Basement <<<

Spencer is stuck below all the junk in his, thing that resembles a locker.

What’s wrong with the ringtone?

This has GOT to be the shortest scene in all of iCarly-dom.

## Transition to: Shay’s Kitchen ##

It turns out that the chocolates are good.

## Scene cut to: basement, again ##

Introducing new challenger. Chuck Chambers.

You know what they say, Spencer. Payback’s a *manually censored word*. Vengeance is a dish best served icy.

It’s kinda weird that such a small kid can be so vicious.

## Setting: iCarly studio ##

Sam is sick? “What? Why?”

It’s often bad when people feel like butt.

What swingset? I’m tired of hearing things about that swingset and I wanna see the swingset and I can’t see the swingset. Should I stop saying swingset? Yes, I swingset, I mean, should.

Missy intended to poison Sam, but her plan didn’t include co-hosting iCarly. That was a perk. (Time for some 80’s music reference! “Every rose has it’s thorn, just like every night has it’s dawn. Just like every cowboy has a sad, sad song. Every rose has it’s thorn.”) A song loved amongst Advanceshippers.

Look at Freddie’s face when Sam’s leaving. He’s clearly upset. If I were Freddie, I’d activate the B-cam and go with Sam.

—– Commercial Break —–

Carly brings Sam some soup. Chicken soup. Freddie soup. SHE ATE FREDDIE!! (Seriously, now, I had a theory about this, chicken soup and Sam, but I forgot. Once I remember, which I will, I’ll post it here for your reading pleasure).

“Just like mom never made.” Incredible. Sam keeps coming up with the best lines.

“Missy didn’t touch this, did she?” Again, my statement is proven true.

The chocolates’ expiration date is written in foreign. I can read foreign!

1992? God, that’s old! That’s even older than… Oh, Sam has already done this.

It could be a surveillance camera. That wart’s so big it could fit a whole news van in it.

Gibby, a mermaid? Actually that’s one of the most credible theories I’ve heard. I know about someone who thinks Gibby is part of an alien race who is trying to conquer Earth.

That’s the first time I believe Sam when she says she’s not jealous.

A chocolaty stomach bomb.

A tasty chocolaty stomach bomb.

>>> Transition to: Bushwell basement <<<

This is one of the few instances that Dan Schneider has used real-world video game consoles. Either that, or he invented a fake name for the PSP.

Uh, is the police threat supposed to get a 12-year-old boy scared? That threat got Spencer to be shot by a water gun. Which had a liquid which was not water.

In a “keadnapping”, this is the part where the police asks the kidnapper what are his or her demands. Spencer’s list of possible demands are quite, how can I put it, uncommon… Money? Common motive. Power? By holding someone prisoner against their will, they have power over the prisoners. An ostrich? Don’t give Marvin up, Spencer!! Who’ll bite your pants when he’s gone??

Classical move by Spencer. I call this move the “come-here-and-I-will-tell-you-a-fake-secret-that-will-ultimately-do-nothing-but-contribute-to-my-own-suffering”. Short name, I know. There are longer ones, trust me.

>>> Transition to: The Groovy Smoothie <<<

You know that speech that Missy says? The whole “I wouldn’t get between you and Carly” thing? If my brother was writing this, he’d write: “FAKE!!! YOU’RE LYING!!! YOU LYING LIAR!!” “I still think Gibby’s a mermaid…” Oh, Sam.

You know the latest iCarly.com random debate? The one with Gibby and T-Bo? It’s my turn to come up with a word.

——-
Word: STEREOPOLIZE

Category: verb

Meaning: To celebrate or commemorate an event with the sipping of smoothies.

Used in a sentence: Carly stereopolized with Sam and Missy.
——-

Is it just me, or Sam just said the longest threat EVER??

Missy’s argument has valid points…

Defective cup? I think you can sue! Call Sally Jenson, Kid Lawyer. SHE FIGHTS FOR YOU!! (wow, it even rhymed)

– Setting: Bushwell Plaza –

Do you know what’s coming next? I think you do! It’s the famous hallway scene! Seddie FTW!!

Sam’s impersonation of Missy was accurate, in my opinion.

You can see that Sam got hurt by Freddie’s disbelief in her. But Freddie was not 100% sure that Carly was right. He said maybe twice.

One reason: that is all it takes.

What she said is true, Freddie. She claims to hate your guts, and now she has asked you for help.

That alone should mean something.

Now take a few moments to reflect on this scene. Now, if you can listen to “Cloud Number Nine” by Bryan Adams, please do. Click on this link to hear the song.

What’s butter got to do, got to do with it?

– Setting: Ridgeway High School –

“Ahoy!” Mr. Howard just informed Missy that she won the SAS contest.

Sam’s was half-smiling because of 2 things: Missy won the SAS contest, which means, she’s gone. And because Freddie didn’t win it… <– These are here for a reason.

“I couldn’t care less about the words I’m saying…” Gold.

Of course! Participating in a 6-month cruise around the world is way better than being with your best friends, who will last for life.

“Sometimes good things happen to hideous people…” Here she goes again.

“You’re a…” “Whackjob” “…Whackjob!”

“Mama does love her meat!” I love that accent.

“I should have believed you.” “Yeah, no chiz…”

Sam Puckett, criminal-in-training.

– Setting: Bushwell Basement –

Look at Chuck’s quick movements. That kid moves fast…

His I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on voice is amazing. “Hi, daddy!”

“And he squirted me with fluids!” Oh, Spencer…

“What was in that squirt gun?”

– Setting: Ridgeway High School –

Austria and Australia ARE NOT the same thing. Just to be sure.

Here comes Wendy. She’s so… so… wait a minute, I don’t know anything about her! But she does seem to know something about Freddie…

He does seem interested in not letting Wendy finish.

Now I’m confused. Who won the SAS thing? Fredward Benson or Missy Robinson?

Oh, so that’s what happened…

Riiight, I’ll tell you what I told Sam the other day, I’ll pretend I believe that.

You do care about Sam…

And Missy is throwing up like there’s not tomorrow…

As you can see, this episode, while not filled with Seddie action, had some strong moments.

Now, I have an announcement. There will be some cool stuff coming soon to this blog and all of the Seddieverse. And I don’t mean iSam’s Mom. Stay tuned!

Until we meet again, have a Seddietastic Seddietember and have your daily Seddie fix!

NEW EPISODE!!

According to this website, iDo will air on October 11th. This is not set in stone, but now we have something to grasp.

RobSp1derp1g out!

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