iKiss – Review

First I should tell you that Phoebe had a little problem and she’s taking a little time off.

Here’s the first winner!

In this review, I’m using a system to rate Freddie’s self-esteem. 1 being the lowest (still having some left) and 10 being the highest. I think he’s in 8 at the start of the episode.

Who doesn’t remember the Foot? It’s a charismatic character that doesn’t come around that often. I think it has only appeared twice on the show…

Freddie has a death wish. You know how I know? ‘Cause he pulled a prank on Sam… That’s why.

“Open the door!” “Call the police!” Whenever I hear this line, I instantly crack up. No matter the language I’m watching in. I always laugh.

Freddie’s look of terror as Sam approaches him is so awesome, it might even match some of the looks of terror in any Alfred Hitchcock movie. Or not. But it’s still awesome.

You know that Christmas song, “Rocking around the Christmas Tree”? This year there will be a different version. It will be called “Running around the Shay’s kitchen counter”. Not the same, I know, but I have high hopes for this song.

Gibby has a therapist? *completely over-the-top gasp* I wouldn’t even have guessed…

“I don’t play to get even. Momma plays to win!” Be careful, Freddie. Also be afraid, be very afraid!

“I’m not scared.” Freddie’s not scared, he’s just a little… what’s the word… that’s it, terrified.

–Title Sequence–

~~Setting: The Shay’s apartment~~

Spencer wants to be a Seattle Cobra. Yes, and I want to be an astronaut. Doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen… But I would like to see the Earth from up there… *Dreamy look*

Besides, a football player does not get jumpy when his little teenage sister walks through the door with her best friend.

Carly and Sam went to see “The First Kiss”. It’s the Schneiderverse’s equivalent to “My Girl”. Isn’t that movie like… ancient? I remember seeing that thing when I was 7. 7!! Besides, it’s a movie about KIDS!! Excuse me, I have to make a phone call. *goes to the back but still in ear range* Hello, Phoebe, can you please set up an appointment with Dr. Paxil? Yeah, it happened again… Okay? Thanks, you’re the best. What? Yes, you still get the raise. I have to go. Take care.

Okay, I’m back.

Now, now, Sam, don’t be so pessimistic… There are other ways to make the football players disappear. Like using your uncle Carmine’s services…

Right now, I feel so bad for Spencer. No man should ever be allowed to feel that kind of pain…

–Transition to: the iCarly studio–

Freddie came in prepared in case Sam decides to strike back. Now, correct me in I’m wrong, but I have seen a similar scene on iCarly before. What episode was it?

I agree with Freddie. That sounds like a movie that would last about, I don’t know, 8 seconds…

Sam’s questioning! I love this scene, I truly do.

“We’re all friends here. Well, two friends and a co-worker…” Oh, Sam. By the end of the episode, that won’t apply anymore.
Fun Fact: When Sam says that, you can clearly tell that Freddie is looking at Sam. And the topic of the conversation could not be better. The most subtle of Seddie hints. And I saw it.

Interesting fact: Carly states that her first kiss was Ben Huebscher. The real Ben Huebscher is one of the script coordinators in the show.

This is another example of Sam’s lying skills. She was able to fool everyone (two people, but still). But she didn’t prepare herself for Freddie’s comeback. “So romantic.” “Whatever…”

Now I would like to discuss something that both biologists and astronomers have proven wrong. According to Sam Puckett’s behavior, it appears that she possesses some kind of cosmic entity in her body. By this I mean, THE GIRL MUST HAVE A BLACK HOLE IN HER STOMACH!! She eats everything she sees! Come on!

As soon as Sam went through the door, Freddie got up, as if the conversation has gone down the drain.

Why does Carly need to know? It’s none of her business! She’ll have her own episode with Freddie, that’s enough.

“I need money from other people…” Priceless. Get it? Money? Price? I’ll stop now…

Now, a sentence people the world over would use if they knew the meaning of it. “Is that a new ceiling?”

This episode seems like a battlefield. Why? Here’s the bomb: “I’ve never kissed anyone.”

Valerie. I haven’t heard about her since the last time she was mentioned.

Carly trying to make Freddie feel better. And failing miserably, might I add.

Freddie, I couldn’t agree more, unfortunately.

Sam likes to eavesdrop… She’s one bad chick.

–Setting: Shay’s Living room/kitchen–

Spencer is learning about football. You know what’d be awesome? If, somehow, through some cosmic event, the football caught on fire.

I agree with Carly, not all football players do that.

In the end, it all comes back to it, motivation.

Muscle building time, Spencer.

And here’s a lesson for all my readers. When someone says, “I’ll show you how…” It usually means trouble.

–Time skip–

Spencer is pushing Carly around. In a wheelbarrow. Despite my intense inner debates, I failed to see what’s not okay here.

After only 105 seconds of running, Spencer is already tired?

–Transition to: iCarly Studio–

iCarly is being recorded. We get to see the trailer for the Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie It’s rated T – Terrible. Now, one small production question that I would like Dan to answer: How do you do those MPAA-esque images? I want to do those too…

-Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie Trailer Review-

A girl named Kelly who wants to be with the popular crowd. But her dreams are torn to shreds by an evil girl named Natalie… (I love that name, by the way.)

But Kelly wouldn’t give up just yet. She took on a path of self-improvement, mostly her garments and dance moves. There were moments in which she almost gave up. And between all that, she found true love in the arms of Chad.

Now, with a new-found sense of self-confidence, she is ready to take the town by storm.
-End Of Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie Trailer Review-

Freddie’s ‘hello’ is so full of potential. It shows that Freddie is afraid of what Sam might do to him…

And here comes the second bomb. Sam fights back. (Freddie’s Self Esteem Level -3 Current: 5)

Look at the professionalism of this group: As soon as Sam stops talking, she leaves, leaving Carly alone in front of the camera. Carly chases Sam when she realizes what Sam did. AND, throughout this whole ordeal, Freddie remained still, training the camera on the girls. That, my friends is true professionalism.

The camera falls down, and is still working. The quality of the cameras back at Schneider’s Bakery.

—> Commercial Break <—

–Setting: Ridgeway High–

Is that Freddie in a disguise? He must be feeling quite bad after that… But then again, so would anyone.

And now, a series of events tailor-made to lower Freddie’s self-esteem:
1) High school guys (Freddie’s SEL:-1 Current: 4)
2) The teacher. Screwed up big time. (Freddie’s SEL:-2 Current: 2)
3) The little girls. (Freddie’s SEL:-1 Current: 1. WARNING: DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO 0)

A little side note: We know for a fact that Carly cares for Freddie. As a SeddieShipper, I admit that. But in my opinion, if Creddie was going to happen, Carly would have ended Freddie’s misery and raised his SEL to 100 by kissing him. He would have been kissed AND by Carly, the supposed “girl of his dreams”.

–Setting: Shay’s apartment–

A knock on the door. Who could it be? Oh, it’s our favorite not-yet-main-character, Gibby!

Gibby is on the Shay’s apartment on behalf of Carly to “help” Spencer get in shape for the tryouts.

“Do whatever it is Gibby’s do.” Incredible…

Water for hot coffee. A honest mistake. It can happen… not really.

How to distract a Gibby: give it 10 bucks and send him down the elevator. NOT THE SHAFT, THE ACTUAL ELEVATOR!! I will not be responsible for murders or accidental homicides.

–Setting: iCarly studio–

The box with meatballs reads “Inexpensive Meatballs.” My brother was the one responsible for this awesome find. Thanks, bro!

Sam noticed Freddie didn’t go to school? Hmm…

Carly has the incredible ability of making Sam feel guilty. It should have been featured on Heroes…

Oh, yes, she can… Just you wait…

Wait, iCarly actually keeps kitties’ litter boxes fresh all day? I might just get some for my cat…

Intense moment on iCarly: Sam apologizes.

And the third bomb is dropped: Sam never kissed anyone.

She didn’t lie…

She’s going to apologize to Freddie. And she’s taking meatballs.

-Time Skip-

By the time Sam arrives at Freddie’s outer sanctum, i.e., the fire escape, all the meatballs are gone. Just thought you all should know.

I know this is a TV show and it’s made in Hollywood, but I want to visit that fire escape.

Freddie is resting on his chair, thinking about his life.

A touchy conversation takes place between Sam and Freddie…

An apology follows…

“Get it out of the way.” Right, Sam, right. I’ll pretend to believe that…

After watching this episode in Portuguese, I found something. Sam says, “We’ll go right back to hating each other as soon as it’s over.” That means that for the 8 seconds the kiss lasted, they loved each other. In other words, Seddie has happened.

Look at the synchronicity between these two: He chuckled and she knew exactly what he was thinking about. But she still wanted him to say it. That, my good friends, is the purest form of synchronicity. An unspoken thought being shared by two people.

If is was a “just-to-get-it-over-with kiss”, why do they need to keep it a secret?

The last bomb of the episode: Sam and Freddie kissed.

A secret kiss in a fire escape. A romantic setting. Dan, you and your brilliant mind.

The song. Oh, the sound waves that have sent millions of sparkles of imagination to Seddieshippers the world over. It is probably the only song that fit that moment in their lives.

8 seconds later, the kiss ends.

Freddie’s face kinda says “I REGRET NOTHING!!” and we can see this is true: Freddie’s SEL:+9000000000 Current: 9000000001. Conclusion: IT’S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!

The kiss. Description: nice. Is description positive? Yes. They liked the kiss.

“Good work”? Come on Sam, you can do better than that…

It’s clear that Freddie does not hate Sam. It’s beyond obvious.

Now Freddie must realize what happened. He watches Sam leave and gets himself in his pondering stance.

And that concludes my review of iKiss, the top voted episode of my poll.

Until we meet again, have a Seddietastic Seddietember and have you daily Seddie fix!!

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Posted on September 1, 2010, in EN, iCarly reviews, Season 2 and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.


  2. Awesome job! :D

  3. actually, the movie is a parody of “She’s All That” I believe

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