Monthly Archives: December 2010
Big news, guys! I was approached on Twitter by Brian Kimskey, a
big huge GINORMOUS (note the Caps Lock) fan of Jennette McCurdy, who had a proposition. I was asked if my site/blog could be featured in a new site totally dedicated to Jennette which would be launched on Christmas Eve. The site is called McCurdian.com (not .net, .net is for losers) and it’s amazing!
And I’m glad to announce that as of this moment, RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews is now part of the McCurdian Network!
The McCurdian Network is a group of sites which feature and are featured on McCurdian.com. Some sites of that network are:
-RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews
-Love Bilgerdunday’s Music
If you’ve got a site and you would like to see it featured on McCurdian.com, head over there and contact the owner.
Seddie. It’s not a ship, it’s a lifestyle.
A little something that came up. If it’s not well written, then, it could have been worse.
Please read and review!
December 23rd – 4:38 PM.
With Christmas just around the corner, there is no time to waste thinking about minor details. We all know Carly is a perfectionist, but this time she exceeded herself. She usually throws a party every Christmas Eve. Last year, and the years before, she only invited me, Fredweird, Gibby, Melanie, and Wendy. Wendy couldn’t come last year because she had her brother over who flew all the way from Wisconsin.
This year, things were different. I was left in charge of the invitations. The list was quite big. In the first page was written:
-Sam and Freddie (she didn’t even bother to change the lines.)
-Gia (Chuck’s sister)
-Mrs. Benson (it was actually stroke though)
There were too many people on the list, but Carly refused to change it. So I had to invite all those people… Luckily for me, Freddie had been assigned the least boring task, decorations. I commented to Carly that maybe it was better if Spencer handled the decorations seeing he has an eye to decoration, him being a sculptor. So Freddie got discharged from decorations. I thought Carly would fight about it a little bit, but she just agreed. Something must have been wrong, but I dismissed the thought.
“Come on, nub, I need your help.” I said, abrasively.
“Whoa, Sam Puckett finally admitting she needs help on something? Has the world gone crazy?” Freddie asked, half-jokingly.
“Shut up and help me if you don’t want a black eye for when Melanie gets here.” I threatened him.
“Wait, weren’t you and Melanie one and the same?” Freddie remembered.
“Not this again, and stop quoting Selena Gomez.” I fought back.
“Alright, alright, don’t get your panties in a twist…” Freddie commented lazily.
“Don’t you ever say that again! I hate that word!” I cringed, almost instinctively covering my ears.
“What word, ‘twist’?” Freddie asked, truthfully curious.
“No, the other one…” I answer, not fully knowing why.
“Oh, this is great material. I may need to use it someday.” Freddie joked.
“DO IT AND YOU DIE!” I yelled.
“Whatever, let me see the list.” Freddie said, as he entered his apartment, with me following.
“Shane? She invited Shane? Wouldn’t that like, created conflicts between you two?” Freddie asked as he read the list.
“Nah, not anymore, we decided that no boy would interfere in our friendship.”
“Really?” He said, as he sat by one the computers in his room.
“No, it doesn’t include you, Fredbag.” I retorted, smiling. “This looks like the world’s biggest nub’s lair! I bet no girls have ever set foot in here, besides me and your mother.”
“You’re wrong.” He calmly claimed.
“Why is that, Nubby McNub?”
“First of all, I actually like that nickname. Second, ” He slowly turned to me, “Carly has been here. When we were a couple… and you were jealous.”
“Whatever gave you that idea?” I tried my best to look shocked, but I failed.
“Oh, come on. Don’t you think that I know a thing or two about you? The only reason you would give anyone advice is if you have an interest in something. And other than me, you weren’t interested in anything.”
“I won’t comment on that.” I said, turning around.
“You don’t need to. Your silence says more than you ever will.” This sentence of his echoed in by head.
What he said was true, I was interested on him. Damn it, when did the iCarly official nub turn into a psychology master?
Truth is, over the past few months, Freddie and I have gotten close due to an assignment we had to do together. During this time, I started to appreciate his tech skills. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t before (without him iCarly wouldn’t exist), but lately, I found his tech knowledge (bad pun, sorry) incredibly useful, when he did something completely unexpected.
I had just walked out of Carly’s when my phone rang. Guess who was calling. Freddork. The last person I wanted to talk to.
“What do you want, Fudgeface?” I answered harshly.
“Good morning to you too, Sam.” He replied, his voice being more excited than usual. “Remember that bet we had last week?”
“Yeah, the loser had to suffer the ultimate punishment: had to do something nice for the winner. What about it?” I asked, intrigued.
“Well, I know you’ve been arrested more than your fair share of times, so I said, ‘no more’.” He answered, his voice started to become even more excited.
“No way, you didn’t…” My voice was beginning to fail.
“Yes, I did…” He proudly replied.
“You… you killed my parole officer?” I asked with a failing voice.
“Yes, I… Wait, no! I didn’t kill Mrs. Sylvester!” he responded, exalted.
“Then what did you do, and how did you know my parole officer’s name?” I answered, intrigued.
“Come by my apartment, and I’ll gladly explain everything. And Sam, you’re gonna love it!”
By this point, I’m completely curious about what he did, so I stormed through Freddie’s apartment, hoping Freddie’s health-freak mom isn’t home. I don’t want to hear a speech right now.
“Hey, Sam! You’re already here! How did you get here so fast?”
“I was across the hall, Fredifer. Now, what did you do?”
“I used my extensive knowledge of computers and security to punch a hole through the firewall of…”
“In English, nub.”
“I hacked Seattle PD’s mainframe and copied your criminal record. Then I wiped it clean. As far as the cops know, you have never been arrested.”
“But, but… what about my proud list of achievements?”
“You’d think I’d forget about something that important to you? Then you don’t know me…” He said with a smile. “I copied your criminal record, and deleted the original file. That way, you are the proud owner of the only copy of your own criminal record.”
“Freddie…” I interrupted him, struggling to find the right words, a stream of information overloading me. He had risked both his own personal security and his non-existent criminal record to clear mine. I had to repay him, but I didn’t know how. Saying ‘Thank you’ didn’t seem enough.
“Oh, and about Mrs. Sylvester, she is now assigned to another troubled teenager.”
“But I like Mrs. Sylvester!”
“I deduced as much, so I went back and obtained Mrs. Sylvester’s phone number. They were still a little crippled from my previous hack, so I used a little less security than I prev-”
I didn’t allow him to finish his sentence. I did something I had done before, but I had been pressured to. I embraced him.
“No, Freddie, don’t speak. Just don’t, let me do all the talking for once.” I was so grateful for what he did, tears were falling from my eyes. “I don’t know how you even thought about doing this, but please hear me. Despite whatever I may say to you in the future, I’m thankful for what you did. You jeopardized your security and risked going to jail to make sure my past didn’t show up again. Because of that, I thank you.”
“Sam, you don’t need to thank me. If we hadn’t made the bet, I’d still have done this. A little later, of course, but I would. So you can consider this your early Christmas present.”
“I don’t have anything for you yet…” I said, looking down.
“It’s okay, I wasn’t expecting anything, so don’t worry about it.” Freddie said, embracing me in return.
“Let’s get working on the list.” I said. “I’ll call Gibby, Wendy and Melanie. Gibby will ask Tasha, and you take care of everyone else.”
“Okay, but I still think it’s gonna be complicated to invite Shane. Isn’t he like, terrified of you two?”
I thought for a second and then decided. “Maybe it’s best if we don’t invite him.”
One hour and a half later.
“So many people and no one can come to Carly’s party.” Freddie said.
“We have to tell her…” I suggested.
As soon as we left Freddie’s apartment, Carly showed up from around the corner.
“Hey, Carly. I’ve got some bad news…” I approached her.
“What? Did something happen?” Carly said, worried.
“No, it’s just that of all the people you wanted us to invite to your party, no one is able to attend.” I replied, apologetically, even though it was not my fault. “Of all the people Nubby McNub here sent e-vites to, everyone already had plans…”
“Nubby McNub?” Carly questioned.
“He likes it.” I replied. Freddie just nodded. “Anyway, only Freddie and I are available to come to the party.”
“What about Amanda?” Carly queried.
“There’s no way you’re inviting my horrifying cousin!” Freddie complained.
“I was talking about Mandy.”
“You sure you want her here? Doesn’t she get in her super-fan mode when she sees or hears something she likes?” Freddie remembered.
“Not anymore, she’s grown past that. And she’s grown quite a bit, if you know what I mean.” Carly nodded suggestively. “But what about the others?”
“Well, Wendy’s going to Wisconsin, Tasha broke a leg, Gibby’s with her, Chuck and Gia moved out, Shane is deathly afraid of you two, Jake’s not available, you’re not inviting my baby cousin, Harper’s in LA, Griffin has a Pee Wee Baby convention, Adam is afraid of crowds and Melanie is stuck at the airport.” Freddie read the list.
“Hmm, I guess we’ll have to make the party with only 4 people, including Spencer, but it’s okay. I get the feeling this party is gonna be awesome!” Carly said, winking.
“Carly, we can see you winking.” Sam announced. “A party with just 4 people, I mean 3 people and a nub? I don’t think it’s that fun…”
“Yeah,” Carly said, defeated, “with only 4 people, it won’t be fun…”
December 24th -3:14 AM
Carly’s party was not going to happen, but there is one thing that is part of Christmas decorations that just had to be there, even without a party.
She exited her room and went down the stairs to her brother’s room. She knocked.
“Spencer, open up!” Carly screamed. Finally after a few more knocks, Spencer finally answered the door.
“What? Kiddo its 3:15AM! What are you doing up?” Spencer said.
“First off, I apologize for the waking of your slumber,” Carly giggled. “Second, I need your help.”
“And it couldn’t have waited until morning?” Spencer asked rubbing his eyes.
“It is morning. And no!” she screamed. “We have to set it up, NOW!”
“Alright. First let me put on pants and then you can tell me what you’re talking about.” He closed the door and Carly walked into the kitchen. She riffled through the fridge until she heard Spencer come up from behind.
“So what do you need?” he asked looking tired
“I need your help with the mistletoe.” she said with a pleading look in her eye
“Woah. I can’t have kissing teenagers all over in our apartment.” He said.
“Oh, Spencer. Just one at the front door. One in the iCarly studio doorway and one in the back doorway. That’s it. Please,” Carly said flaunting the big brown puppy dog eyes.
Spencer stood and thought about it for a little while. He turned away from Carly because he didn’t those big brown eyes staring him in the face when he made the decision. He sighed.
“I guess a few wouldn’t be so bad. But no more!” He said with a stern look.
“Yes!” She whispered-screamed.
“Alright now where are we getting this mistletoe?” he asked.
“Well…” she started.
“Oh so you were thinking that at 3:30am I would drive to the nearest florist and get some mistletoe?” he asked
“Maybe.” she said with a hint of guilt in her voice.
“Alright then,” he grabbed his motorcycle keys and headed towards the door. “BRB!”
“KK.” Carly said. She plopped down on the couch and smiled. Everything was going fantastic. Or so she thought. She had seen the interactions her two best friends had had recently and decided that she had to intervene.
The Christmas party has been something she did every year since her dad left her brother as her legal guardian. Spencer didn’t mind doing these, as he had fun not only planning but also participating. Plus, it would give him extra points for the “Brother of the Year” award, if there was such a thing. But since this year there wasn’t going to be a party, she decided to do something else, instead…
December 24th – 4:46 PM
“I don’t know, they said they’d be here by now. They had a few problems at the shop, but they said they’d deliver them…” Spencer said.
At that moment, a knock on the door was heard.
“Is it them?” Carly asked.
“No, it’s the delivery man! The mistletoe is here!” Spencer jumped with joy.
“Get it set up, I’ll distract them.” Carly helped.
Just as Carly was about to leave, the iCarly technical producer and co-host approached the Shay’s apartment, having a civilized talk.
“For your sake, I hope you never say that again, you hear me, Benson?” Sam warned.
“I was just saying things like they are…” Freddie complained.
“Saying what like what was?” Carly got curious.
“Nevermind. Why are you outside?” Sam dismissed it.
“I’m here because… some pipes broke, and Spencer is fixing them… yeah, that’s it.” Carly lied.
“1 up, 2 to go, Carly. These mistletoes are gonna rock!” Spencer shouted from within the apartment, unaware that Sam and Freddie were already on the outside.
“Pipes, Carly?” Sam retorted.
“I’m not good with coming up with lies on the spot…” Carly admitted.
As Sam busted through the door, Spencer fell from the ladder that was behind the door.
“Alright, why is this here?” Sam asked, pointing up, stopping right below the mistletoe, Freddie stood beside her.
“Well! Look at that. Mistletoe. You take a step to your right; you’ll be right under the cute little sprig.” Carly replied with a smile. “And you know what happens when two people are below the mistletoe. Like you two are right now.”
“What?” Sam and Freddie said in unison. In disbelief, they looked up, and truth be told, they were below the mistletoe.
“We can’t escape her, can we?” Freddie asked, nervously.
“No, we can’t, so we might as well just get it over with.” Sam responded, unconsciously mirroring the words that had been spoken during their first kiss.
“Wait, you two. For it to count, the kiss must last 3 steamboats.” Carly added.
“What? Since when is that a rule?” Sam complained.
“Since now. ” Carly smiled, mischievously.
“Let’s just do this, Sam… We have to…” Freddie called her.
“Okay.” Sam sighed.
The moment was filled with unnatural anticipation. Carly, who had set the whole plan into action, did not believe this was happening. Sam and Freddie were kissing, in front of them. She looked at her wristwatch and 45 seconds had past, and they showed no signs of stopping. After one minute and a half, they finally stopped.
“Was that enough steamboats?” Sam asked.
“Plenty. A whole flotilla.” Carly said, admired.
“Freddie, I think I finally got your present.” Sam said, slightly looking up.
“What is it?” Freddie asked.
“This.” She kissed him again.
“This is better than any software in the world.”
“Merry Christmas, Nubby McNub.”
“Merry Christmas, Princess Puckett.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.” Carly said, looking at the screen. “There is no way that could happen. This must be the product of a young guy in his early twenties. What do you guys think?”
Sam and Freddie kissing below the mistletoe:What?
The Real End
What do you think of it? Do you like it, do you hate it?
Also, I have inserted references to TV shows and Internet phenomena. Those who can figure it out will be given a shoutout on Twitter.