Daily Archives: March 9, 2011
Hello, hello, hello! How are you, my dearest readers? How are you on this beautiful day?
Anyhow, I know my review for this episode is a bit late, but that is not my fault. I was stuck in this really difficult Professor Layton puzzle. You know the one…
Nevertheless, I’m here now and I’m ready to review iHire an Idiot.
Oh, and I promised one thing to my readers. I promised that I’d review this episode in Yoda talk. You know. That green midget from Star Wars, I’m talking about. Although, after analyzing this review, I concluded that the effect I intend to transmit is broken when the sentences are reversed, so, unfortunately, I’m afraid I have to break this promise…
So, without mentioning that guy from iStart a Fan War, here it is, the review for iHire an Idiot.
Location: Bushwell Plaza, Shay’s apartment
Freddie’s on the kitchen counter, Carly’s on the couch working, and Sam’s… also on the couch… sleeping.
Carly’s preparing the new iCarly. You don’t get to say that a lot…
Why would they need a big bucket, a nail gun and a large bag of baby peacock feathers… which Freddie already ordered.
Sam is supposed to get the nail gun. Nothing new there. I’m sure her uncle Carmine can prov… *hears knocking on door* I’ll get it. BRB. *goes to get the door* *returns shocked* Forget what I was going to say about Sam’s uncle Carmine there is no uncle carmine it’s all in my head.
But tell me, doesn’t Sam look cute when she’s asleep? Of course she does…
And Jennette got hurt a few days before they shot this scene. You can see a bruise below her knee. Look:
And what better way to wake your friend up than by tickling her conviniently-showing feet.
“We’re doing a webshow tomorrow night.” “iCarly?” Do you participate in another one?
She really doesn’t help…
9 hours to properly prepare a slice of pizza?
Pizza is a dish that requires taste… I saw it on Hell’s Kitchen…
Besides, there’s more to pizza than just bread and tomato sauce…
“… precision balance between red pepper flakes, parmesan cheese and garlic powder.” Is Freddie related to Gordon Ramsay?
While he prepares the coffee table, he places his slice of pizza on the ground.
And when the phone rings, Spencer walks on Freddie’s pizza.
And he answers the phone with a not-too-common “Shallo?”.
“That pizza looks good.” “Yours.”
The webshow is getting too popular. The kids are getting very tired…
And why is Freddie touching Carly’s shirt?
And Spencer asks the question that set the plot into motion.
“An assistant that works for free.” I have one of those! Here she is! Phoebe, can you come here please? *Phoebe shows up* See, I have an intern. Except I pay her. But she’s awesome, so I don’t mind paying her.
“Would it bathe me?” What?
Oh, so that’s why Melanie makes her sick. Remember, “always has clean hair”. Sam just doesn’t like to rub.
You gotta appreciate the irony. Sam, being Sam has a peace symbol and a horseshoe pendant on her neck.
Sniffmeajob.com. I’d go there, if it didn’t redirect to iCarly.com.
“This pizza tastes like shoebottom…” I wonder if it’s because you stepped on it a while ago…
“Isn’t that a kind of bread?” “That’s ciabatta.” “That monkey from Galaxy Wars.” “No!”
What I want you to focus here is the third part. It proves Sam is a fan of Galaxy Wars.
Yet another phonecall? That phone is busy!
This one is from Grandpa Shay.
“Carly says she hates you…” Now, now, Spencer…
“This couch is getting too crowded…” So, the next logical step is to lie down on the living room table.
See? If your best friend lies on the coffee table, you can use her body as a boost to place your laptop.
Dress up like a lady on the 4th of July? Who comes up with this kind of stuff?
Spencer has a deadline. He has until next week to publish his sculptures on a museum or, *dramatic sound* he’ll go back to law school…
“I can’t go back to law school! It was the worst 72 hours of my life!” I know, man, but it’s your own doing. You promised your grandpa…
This season of iCarly is revealing a bit more on the character’s background… First the goat, now some biker dudes…
iCarly set: Job interviews being held
I must say, I think I’d be the perfect intern for iCarly.
Name: Stu Vernamin
Result: Promptly rejected by Sam
Reason: None whatsoever
“We’ll keep your resumé on file…” Oh, Gibbeh…
“You can’t cut people off in the middle of…” “Okay!” “Irony…”
Why the bloody hell is Stacey here? Is she stalking iCarly?
And notice how Carly is freaked out because of her. I think she hasn’t forgotten about the Creddie stuff… Oh, that’s right, the stuff in iStart a Fan War hasn’t happened yet… That’s what you get when you mix iCarly with time travelling.
Next is Brad.
Brad uses the same software as Freddie, and therefore the possible gap that could have existed is prevented right there. Plus, he makes fudge for people. And Sam loves that fudge.
“I’ll show you to the door.” You gotta love Gibby’s attempt to look badass. I get the feeling this isn’t the last time we see Brad…
Please note that Sam’s interest was perked when Brad spoke of the software he used. Techie Sam.
That is settled. iCarly has selected its newest int… What? There’s someone else?
And there comes Cort. A guy the girls consider hot, whose greatest achievement was learning how to tie his own shoes… on seventh grade… Gonna be tough to beat this guy, pause, not.
The girls decided for themselves… And Cort’s so stupid he didn’t understand that he was hired.
Remember the fudge?
“Are you a good dancer?” “The goodest!”
And they celebrate by asking Cort to show them what it means to be the “goodest” dancer in Seattle.
And who is that song from? Can anyone tell me? If it is from that kid who thinks he has talent, nevermind.
Location: Seattle Museum of Art.
If you could all follow me, we have here a exhibition on Traditional Postmodernists. Please notice the paradox this title conveys.
If you look at the door, you’ll see Spencer trying to smuggle the Bottle-Bot into the museum.
And when the museum curator shows up, all you need to do is say “I’m (your name here). It’s okay, I’m an artist.”
Whoa, wait a minute… Let me check if I heard this right.
I did… Spencer has a fan!
“…and I’d love for you to be represented in this museum…” “Yay.” “…but…” “Ohhh…”
And when things don’t work out, he tries to bribe the curator with a date.
Who’s Roy? Oh, that’s Roy.
Most security guards would have thrown Spencer out the door, and destroyed the Bottle-Bot, but Roy gave Spencer a ride to the door.
Location: iCarly set – Webshow about to begin.
90 seconds to go…
Lemonade in a bag… it’s original… I’m an old-fashioned man, I prefer those packets of juice they sell on the market, or if I’m feeling nostalgic, I’ll use my outdated and obsolete bottles.
Oh, Cort took some notes. Maybe he’s not that useless after…
He wrote them on Freddie’s PearPad… Which costs 800 US Life Points, I mean dollars.
Let’s see what he wrote:
1 – Be ready for webshow. – Okay, good.
2 – Believe in myslef. – Who, or what, is a myslef?
3 – Freddie just said something
4 – Carly looks hot today! Woot! – The guy is stupid, but he is certainly not blind.
5 – I am taking notes rite now.
6 – iCarly is a webshow… – Oh, I thought iCarly was something you cleaned your TV with…
7 – Bring cans of drinks – Cans, not bags!
Cort has a point, the notepads are much cheaper…
“In 5, 4, 3, 2…” “One!” Good to know he can count backwards from 2…
And now, here’s a little insight on the history of iCarly. Please listen quietly.
Carly met Sam. The drank from a filthy buckett. iCarly was born.
“Filthy bucket…” “I’m working!”
Here comes Gibby, in scubadiving gear…
“Fill me with feathers!”
And Cort just commited first degree murder. On a laptop…
Well, at least he offered to clean the laptop… after he killed it.
So, Cort’s an artichoke?
“Maybe we should fire him.” “Yeah, maybe we should…” They turn around and see Cort on Gibby mode.
“You know… everyone deserves a second chance!” “Cort deserves unlimited chances!!” Oh, God…
*Cue that trendy music whose performer is unknown to me.*
~~ Commercial time ~~
Location: Carly’s room.
Cort is jumping in the trampoline.
“95, 96, 97, 99, 100!!” Way to go, Cort! You proved my theory. You can’t count to 100 starting from 95.
The point of the exercise was to jump and count?
Oh, Gibby, you just got rejected by them again…
Cort, an errand boy? Bad idea…
A “todo”? Todo is portuguese for “whole”.
If they hired a younger intern, say about 10, the results would be way better…
Freddie just knocked the door.
Whoa! As they say on the old country, hoy! Who’s that hot girl who’s with Freddie?
“Who’s your… lady friend there?” Samantha Joy Puckett, are you jealous? I know this line alone will probably generate a lot of insults, but there’s one thing you can’t deny. She’s upset with the new girl’s presence. Her voice has been analyzed by over 2 scientists over at Seddie University.
Oh, the girl’s name is Ashley…
And she’s as stupid as Cort. Or is she? She is. Or is she?
Ashley found Carly’s not lost bag.
“I have a bed!” “Got one too!”
“What is going on here?” I don’t care if you don’t like it, but this is the most accurate sentence to describe what was going on there.
Half of the people nowadays are hired because of that, Sam…
Gibby got hit because he wanted fruit gum. Another thing to add to the “todo” list.
Location: iCarly studio
Cort is listening to his own heartbeat, with that thing…
It’s clearly rehearsed, but this happens more often than you think in real life. Freddie and Sam speak at the same time, again.
They ignore the fact that Freddie needs help. They go directly to Cort.
Ashley just arrived with a baby. A baby she took from a lady that was talking to Lewbert. Not even Sam would sweep that low…
The baby’s cute. Like a monkey. And monkeys go “meow”…. Okay, moving right along…
Oh, Carly and Freddie are having a serious conversation… It turned out to be something no one was expecting…
“Okay, that was clever wordplay.”
Can’t you agree both inters are both unimaginably stupid?
Location: Seattle Museum of Art.
“The name’s Shay. Spencer Shay.” All that’s missing are the high-tech gadgets James Bond (the TRUE JB) uses.
He’s even got an inside man, I mean, inside Gibby.
Please note that the sign reads “No flash photography.” and is aided by an image.
Gibby promptly starts taking flash photos. And this attracts the attention of Roy.
After a warning, Gibby keeps taking flash photos.
And Gibby applies a can of some material which name I don’t recall… This is just begging for a chase…
This chase gives Spencer enough time to get his Bottlebot into place.
Old ladies are so easily frightened…
Location: iCarly studio – Webshow rehearsal.
They’re shaving Gibby?
Look, Ashley has arrived. She was told to go get lunch for the gang. Instead she got herself some lunch. And according to her, it was “yummy”. Now, come on, who still says that?
And she has a memory span of a goldfish.
She’s happy to go sit on the floor…
“No deal!” What is this, Deal or No Deal?
“Cort’s too pretty to fire.” Oh, Carly…
Preparing the Raw Meat Storm! I think the name “Meaty-or Storm” would be better, but who am I?
The case of the Disappearing Meat! Call in Professor Layton! Or Sherlock Holmes! Or Shirley Holmes! Or even better, all of them!!
Wait, there’s no need for that… There’s the culprit. *points at Cort*
“We’re not supposed to?” How stupid can you be, Cort?
“They weren’t cooked…” Sam speaks from experience.
“Deal!” Again, is this Deal or No Deal?
“It’s time…” Like two mothers who refuse to let their kids go live their own life…
Location: Seattle Museum of Art.
Spencer is just adding the final details to his Bottlebot exhibit. A placard.
A sculpture by Spencer in a museum? Could it be?
Stop importuning old people related to you, Spencer!
“In your face, you old scutter! Love you.” This episode broke the barrier for the uses of the word “scutter”.
“Dierdre!” Smooth, Spencer, smooth.
“Grandad, please. A little privacy…”
“I apologize, I had to do that.” “Just do it again.” “Yeah.”
Location: iCarly studio
Cort’s been fired? Hooray! I mean, oh no… whatever shall we do without him…
Cort’s been kicked out of college for being “dangerously stupid”. I think it’d been good to know that beforehand, don’t you?
They need Cort’s shirt. Just to see his abs. I bet you can grate cheese on those abs. Though the smell would tend to linger, something awful.
What a fun way to get fired. “Get out, Ashley!”
Wait, what? Sociology thesis?
Top of her class? Seattle Tech?
Freddie got you girls good!!
These words from Carly always make me laugh…
What’s up with the elevator?
Cort! What’s wrong?
“This is an elevator…” You’ve discovered gunpowder!
My 14 dollars: This episode was made to make us laugh, and that was achieved. Great episode!!
Also, please check this idea that my friends at McCurdian.com came up with. Click here!
Hey guys! I’m here on behalf of myself to announce something that’s being done all around the McCurdian Network. It’s the Jennette McCurdy Radio Mob Project!
As you may or may not know, Jennette’s new single is coming out on iTunes on March 15th (just a few days away) and on radio on April 4th.
If you’re wondering what the Jennette McCurdy Radio Mob Project is, here’s a quick rundown:
Jennette is a great singer, but that alone won’t be enough for her to reach the success she deserves. If there ever was a time she needed her fans, that time is now!
Go to McCurdian.com. Everything you need to know is in that page.
Go to that site, arm yourselves with knowledge and support the NerdQueen!!