Disco Stu Will Review iQ
You said it, Stu!
This week’s iCarly episode, the first after the Seddie arc, is called iQ. FYI, my iQ is 110. At least, it was when I last applied for MENSA…
As you might know, Seddie broke up in the last episode, but then, there was something… So, I’ll analyze their interactions with each other.
Let the review begin!
The episode begins with the iCarly gang having fun on the Groovy Smoothie.
Carly and Sam are laughing at something Freddie doesn’t find very amusing…
Apparently, Freddie’s mom lost US$ 20,000 on chickens. Sorry, one chicken and one rooster. I am so glad he said “rooster”.
Breeding chickens is the easiest thing to do! You put them in the same chicken coot together, then you… like… turn the chicken coot lights down…
“I’m sorry your mom lost 20 thousand… bdoing.” ‘Bdoing’ can be understood as something else.
A guy who the girls consider hot just entered the GS. GS stands for Groovy Smoothie, not Gold and Silver.
She proceeds to talk to him and a very badly engineered play, the “Text in the Turned-Off Phone”.
Then we see this:
This is the first of many pics that I will share with you today. Seddiemania gave me the idea of watching every interaction between Sam and Freddie and analyze their microexpressions, body language, and stuff like that. Well here, I bring you the “It looks like I’m looking at Freddie but in reality I’m actually looking at Carly and see how she acts around this new guy” look. Certainly, it will get better.
Does this guy speak in code or something? Oh,he’s british… Wait, he’s british? *Chuckles* Fangirls, attack!
I think I can speak british too. Lift, taxi, apartment, colour, fish and chips, God save the Queen, fanny, harpoon!
Since most of you will not understand this new guy, due to him being super smart, I’ll translate what he says.
“Ah, Carly! The name of the comely vixen who assuages king Thurman`s cohort after the demise of his corpulent mother.”
This means “Carly, that’s the name of the woman who calmed king Thurman’s soldiers after his mother’s death.”
“iCarly? I think I’ve heard of it.” What, you don’t ‘ave Internet in London, mate?
“Teenage satire?” Can’t say I’ve ever heard that.
“You do teenage satire with a piquant wit?”
Translation: “You make fun of teenage stuff with a salty language.”
“You have nice eyes.”
“They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.”
“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend so, why don’t you open up a window?” That’s like the LAMEST line I’ve ever heard.
T-Bo is having some problems with a guy in a suit. Oh, a health inspector. How’s he bothering you, Teebs?
T-Bo’s been evicted! Where’s he gonna live?
The guy Carly’s after is named Kyle.
He just said something, but all I heard was “I haven’t watched iCarly yet, but, when I get home… website…”
“You know, I haven`t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to ingurgitate your website voraciously.”
Translation: “I haven’t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to gulp your website.”
»Scene 1: Bushwell Plaza, Shay loft«
Spencer’s cracking a safe. I should try that one day…
I used to do that in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. One of the best games I’ve ever played.
The junkyard. We really should see that.
T-Bo slept in a pond?
Whoa, that’s a big fork.
“We like it when your mom cries.” Oh, Sammy…
Then, the impossible happens. Spencer has a great idea. Mrs. Benson can rent the room to T-Bo.
Carly’s got a text on her phone.
This is a real question, to which I want a real answer: Do girls really take about 4 hours to get ready?
It’s like the old saying goes: If at first you don’t succeed in opening the safe, you cut it with a chainsaw.
»Scene 2: Premiere Theater«
It’s the Premiere Theater! Dan must have flown it from San Diego!
Carly and Kyle went watching a foreign movie, I’m sorry, a film called “Ick Glokmah” which is foreign for Foreign Film. Yeah, I can speak foreign.
Unfortunately, my foreign skills aren’t too good, so I can’t understand what the people in that film are saying.
“You enjoyed the first half?” What is this a soccer game?
“This is an intermission. There’s 2 more hours to go.” Kyle, a word of advice, if I may. Say “break.”
You gotta love the boy’s enthusiasm. Look at it:
Carly has a lot of je-ne-sais-quoi. I don’t think she knows what that is…
“I like you… categorically.” Okay, how should I translate this… I actually don’t know!
Kyle had an obtuse ex-girlfriend who didn’t have the mental ability to enjoy a foreign film called “Foreign Film”. I think it’s better than that movie with the goat and the balloon…
“Oh, you are jocular!” She is, isn’t she? *whispers to Phoebe and Steve* What does jocular mean?
“I’ll fetch us a beverage from the concessionary.”
Translation: “I’ll get us some drinks from the lobby.”
Carly was too distracted with what he said she didn’t notice him leaning in to kiss her.
“Aw…” and reality kicks in. “2 more hours?”
»Meanwhile, at the Groovy Smoothie«
Sam and Freddie just gave the news to T-Bo that his wife’s having a baby. Just kidding. They just told him that Mrs. Benson has a spare bedroom that’s for rent.
You’d think it’d be awkward Sam and Freddie hanging out alone without Carly. Nope, we ALL thought that.
Here’s Gibby. I don’t recall seeing him again in this episode…
They need to change T-Bo into Mr. Terrence Bo. Hard task.
»Scene 4: Shay apartment«
Spencer’s STILL trying to open the safe. He’s not having that much luck. While Carly arrives home with Kyle in tow. I’ve always wanted to say that…
The safe destroyed a chainsaw blade? Go, safe!
“You know, that safe is probably made of carbonized iron.” Saying ‘steel’ is too lame, corny, cliché, whatever. He said ‘carbonized iron’, which makes it better, even though they are exactly the same thing. Well, they aren’t the same thing, it depends on the level of carbon included in the iron…
It’s always about the molecular structure, isn’t it, Kyle?
Kyle, another word of advice. There’s being polite, and there’s making out with a girl. These aren’t mutually exclusive, but being too polite and making out with a girl are. Besides, you only stayed in for about 2 minutes.
Carly’s clear hint amazes me. But Kyle’s obliviousness amazes me even more. Yes, I said obliviousness. Yes, I know it doesn’t really apply here.
“The socio-political implications of the film we saw earlier.”
Kyle isn’t all you hoped for, eh, Carly?
“…and I need a pretty boyfriend!” *Clears throat to draw attention to himself then points at himself* Get the hint, Carly? I’m lonely and available.
“My nose is bleeding. Weird, huh?” Come on, Spencer, don’t you know the meaning of subtlety?
“Oh, all right, just make sure to tilt his head 15 degrees and maintain pressure on his septum so the blood coagulates.” That is actually good advice…
Now, who studies for a date?
Hi, I’m RobSp1derp1g with and an important message for all iCarly fans.
All reviewers are professional fans. The reviews we write on the blog take years to perfect and do safely.
I urge all iCarly fans not to copy what we do here, at home or at school.
Stay safe. Don’t try this.
»Scene 5: iCarly Studio«
Carly’s studying for her date, Freddie’s preparing the webshow and Sam’s flirting with the big fork.
Freddie asks Sam to help him with a camera check. She denies. Then he asks Carly. She says she’s studying for a date. It’s not something you hear every day.
Learning about boring Russian films and Mandarin Chinese can be fun.
“Wo bu ja dao” Are you having a seizure, Carly?
Snowman Gibby reporting for duty. The amount of times I’ve written Gibby on Microsoft Word is so big, Word should have looked it up.
Who said purple is out of style? We’re Seddiers, we have purple lenses in our eyes. And this is an example of such lenses:
Purple PearBook and PearPad. Sam and Freddie wearing red and blue. ‘Nuff said.
Sam has the idea of cheating on a date. It’s not as bad as it sounds.
“You’ll be as smart as the Internet.”
“The Internet is pretty smart.”
The iCarly webshow commences. With a big fork.
»Scene 6: Bushwell Plaza, Apartment 8C (It’s easier this way)«
Carly’s set up for her date with Google, I mean Kyle. And Spencer’s still trying to open the safe, this time with a blowtorch.
Notes about foreign language. Noted. (smart pun, huh?)
“I gotta keep my fork shiny and lubed in case a meal breaks out.” I get the shiny part, but lubed?
T-Bo arrives for his makeover with some baked artichokes on a stick. It wouldn’t be T-Bo if he didn’t.
“I’m already wearing my fancy underpants…” Huh, okay?
There is such a thing as date bread…
Carly, that’s a danger, leaving Spencer unsupervised while he plays with fire…
Before opening the door, Carly shakes herself.
“Do I detect the aroma of a mélange of epicurean delights?”
Translation: “Do I smell a mixture of pleasurable delights?”
“Ablute” meaning wash up. He wants to wash up
»Meanwhile, upstairs in the iCarly studio«
Sam, Freddie and Gibby take T-Bo to Overhaulin.
And T-Bo’s been Overhauled!
Did Gibby become a taylor?
Kyle and Carly are happily dining.
“Ambrosial” means extremely pleasant to the taste.
A note, Carly. If you want to point out random facts during dinner, make sure you know them beforehand.
You don’t know the statue’s name, do you?
Hard cut to…
»8th floor hallway«
Freddie and Terrence arrive at the Benson apartment for the interview.
We are shown the Benson’s living room. This is a unique opportunity to analyze it and get to know what’s beneath Mrs. Benson’s habits. We may never get this chance again. I don’t want to do it right now.
Terrence has lots of time, but he must be on church at 9 PM. He’s part of the choir. Seriously now, I used to go to church on a Saturday night. It allowed me to sleep in on Sundays…
»Meanwhile, next door…«
Carly knows something that Kyle doesn’t? It’s a sign of the apocalypse!! Call the fire department! The Earth’s gonna explode!!
Carly, how could you tape cheat notes to the bottom of your plate? Use the table, it’s easier…
I facepalmed when I saw this:
“Rusha”, “Square, all sides r equal”, 2+2, triangle. All of that for what?
He tries to leave, and she says “I don’t lie while I’m kissing!” Reminds me of an similar situation on American Pie…
All of this while Sam watches. Personally, I think that’s not well done.
Spencer’s attaching something to the safe, and Sam’s trying to get Carly to feel better. She even gives her her big fork back. Why? She got another, bigger fork.
T-Bo’s now the neighbor of Carly Shay.
Spencer attached C4 explosives to the safe? Courtesy of Boomer, Socko’s cousin.
And inside the safe is, another safe!! This one is easier to crack.
And that concludes my iQ review. Hope you guys liked it! Please comment.