Daily Archives: April 20, 2012
WARNING – This episode contains copious amounts of One Direction. Women with heart conditions are advised not to look directly at One Direction. This also applies to women without heart conditions. They’re very pretty – see? See how pretty they are? They’re very pretty! I’d like to run my fingers through their hair; and I’m just text! Anyway, without further ado, enjoy your iCarly episode.
Welcome, everyone, to the review of iGo One Direction. You’ve read the warning and by reading this either out loud or to yourself, you’re agreeing not to sue.
»Scene 1 – Carly and Spencer just arrived home«
From this image, one can assume that the Shays went to Mexico. And that Spencer STILL hasn’t gotten muscles. You know why? Because, despite the fact that his sister is at least 10 years younger than him, and that she’s a bit sick, SHE’s the one carrying all the bags…
“Maybe I should take you to a doctor…” Maybe? I don’t think that there’s any need for that… There a psychotic nurse right across the hall, perhaps she cou… Yeah, a doctor’s better… Probably Dr. Dresdin, who lives in 10-G. Or, if you’re really in a hurry, Dr. Who!
There’s a party going on in the apartment of the Shays! It looks like a pre-4th of July (which I hope to celebrate this year), complete with a barbecue, kids in a kiddie pool, and videogames!
“No, she’s like dying.” And you STILL haven’t taken her to a doctor, or your neighbor.
There’s a Gibby head watching the video game.
What’s the problem, Gib? Are you afraid of worms?
Of course Sam would know about jungle worms…
Poor Carly… but the stakes are ready.
Gibby is rubbing Sam’s feet. However, if I did not see it, and just heard it, I wouldn’t say that they were rubbing feet.
These replies to Spencer were actually pretty awesome!
“Hey, guys! Guess what I got?”
“A friend your own age?”
So, Spencer got an exercise machine… actually, for a moment there, I thought I heard Spencer say exorcise machine… I actually did…
Uhh, the Omniflex… Omni, meaning “all”, and flex, meaning “physical effort”.
Is that… Is that a single popcorn on your navel? Navel means belly button…
Freddie received an e-mail from the manager of a British band. Who are they? Take That? Franz Ferdinand? Muse? (Actually, a serious note here: Muse were the favorite band of a friend of mine who recently passed away.) Coldplay? (“You know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.”) David Bowie? (“I’m not David Bowie”) The Beatles?
Oh, it’s WandErection, I mean, One Direction… Never heard of them…
Gibby’s a big fan of them…
If I may quote the e-mail: “Dear Freddie (Oh my God), in response to your e-mail, my clients, One Direction, will be in the Seattle area later this week, and they would love to appear on iCarly and perform a song.” That’s huge for them, first Plain White T’s, now One Direction, who’s next? James Blunt? Taylor Swift? Maroon 5? Uh, uh, Gym Class Heroes with Adam Levine!!!
Look at this! This is Cutting Room Flow!
If I didn’t know it’s a fake software, I’d probably download it illegally…
Spencer’s getting a visit and a package for Spencer Spay. Oh, the subliminal messages…
You’re a personal exercise trainer?
Spencer unknowingly fixed a babe magnet…
»Scene 4 – iCarly studio«
Freddie is working with the camera…
A few things to retain: Sam texted Freddie from jail. But she’s just visiting…
Carly saved Freddie from a possible infection with Jungle Worms.
It has been a very long time since I got to say this, Gibby suited up! Look at the Gibster:
He might just be the biggest male fan of 1D…
And Sam, who just got here from prison, announces that WandErection, I mean One Direction have arrived. And Gibby unleashes the inner fangirl. Basically, he does what I would do if I saw any of the 33 names I have on my phone… All of those names are female.
Yeah, I know… In my opinion, the use of this image was WAY overdue…
One Direction are performing a song. And that song is “What Makes You Beautiful.”
Sam makes a quick announcement: “I’m not currently dating anyone.” Please note this look on Freddie’s face:
And, of course, Gibby’s foot massages. He has, according to Spencer, “the hands of a goddess”.
Carly leaves the water bottle with the cute Texan water bottle holder unprotected near the tech cart.
I would like to thank @VillayCescilove for identifying the members of 1D.
I don’t know if you know this but it’s 5 of them… “Just putting that out there…”
!Would you guys autograph my sister’s scrapbook?” I didn’t know Taylor was a fa… Sister’s? Then why does it have a G on the cover?
Okay, I must say this: I’ve been speaking English for over 10 years now, 7 of those were spent learning British English, and I can’t understand what they say! Luckily, I have a transcript. Let me check… Oh, yeah, Harry asked Louis if there was any water. And Louis says “Ova ther…”
“Handgoons” Yeah, in America, we use them bloody handgoons to kill people…
Spencer is combing his not-so-lady-like hair for his personal exercise trainer time.
Sam likes One Direction… Is that why Freddie’s joining a band? Pretzels for thought…
Spencer, she doesn’t care. Like, at all…
What the deuce? Who’s the incredibly rude girl?
“Kid, what are you doing?”
“Smelling this fudge!” Isn’t it obvious, Spencer?
“My mother said you were gonna exercise me!” Should I be the one to let you know that this sounds like there’s another connotation to this sentence?
I can’t believe Spencer is helpless towards a kid…
»Some time later«
Geez, hum, what’s his name… Right, Harry’s feeling really bad… He can’t even stand…
Gibby, go sit in the…
Yeah, there. Stay there.
You feel cold? And thirsty? You know what that means, don’t you? It means you read the wrong part of the script!
Carly gave Harry Styles jungle worms? Dun, dun, dun…
»Scene 4, Carly’s room«
Dr. Dresden is taking care of Harry.
“Is he better?”
”I think so… or maybe not.” What kind of doctor are you?
“We’re so lucky to have a doctor right here in the building.” Still thinking a psychotic nurse would be better…
Here’s a nice pun: Harry wants fruit cut into cubes, the way only Carly does. ‘Cause “that’s what makes you beautiful.”
»Some time later«
Spencer’s forcing that kid to get some exercise, while Spencer eats.
Spencer’s like me, he can’t see a girl cry.
Bethany’s not awkward, she just has a very bad personality.
»Scene 7 – Groovy Smoothie«
San Francisco! The city the show Monk takes place in!
Note that Sam’s reaction is an actual effect obtained from being around celebrities. Go to a celebrity, ask them to say the name of a country or city and watch the results.
Harry’s having all of his needs taken care of…
T-Bo’s taking pics of 1D with his pearPhone.
“…he’s having a good time at Hotel Carly-fornia.” What a lovely place, what a lovely place, what a lovely place.
Butter Sock 4: The Re-Return of The Butter Sock.
“Is that a sock?”
“Full of butta?”
Freddie wants to “replace” Harry from 1D, forcing him to admit that he’s just in it for the lulz, I mean, for Carly’s attention.
Here’s the question that is on EVERYONE’s mind. Who will replace Harry? Who has the raw talent, predisposition to sing and intricate knowledge of OneDirection’s songs that is required to sing with the group? Ali Brustofski? Megan Nicole? Uh, uh, Aria Summer Wallace!
Harry admits he’s feeling better and that he’ll be able to perform on iCarly, on the condition that they never let Gibby sing, or dance ever again.
And as usual, Gibby’s not in on it.
»Some time later«
Spencer is giving a little girl a makeover. It’s Extreme Makeover: Kid Edition.
Agh, my eyes!!
“We need some kind of resolution!” I hear the fourth wall breaking.
»Scene 8 – iCarly webcast«
The girls just presented One Direction.
I’ve been on Twitter for a while now. And every day, I hear about One Direction but never thought about it. But this song is awesome!
Sam kidnapped Zayn?
Guys, get ready! Tomorrow there’s another iCarly episode tomorrow. It’s called iOpen a Restaurant! And it is gonna be fun… I guess…