Category Archives: iCarly reviews

iGoodbye Review

RobSp1derp1g, blogger, inventor, deep-thinker. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strenght that all humans have. Then, an accidental overdose of Internet memes alters his body chemistry. And now, whenever RobSp1derp1g grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs.

“Ow! I’m angry for no reason whatsoever!”

The creature is driven by rage and pursued by an investigative reporter.

“Mr. Griffin, don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

The creature is wanted for a murder he didn’t commit. RobSp1derp1g is believed to be dead. And he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.

And so we come to this, the last iCarly: iGoodbye.

I will admit, these words are hard to write. Not because iCarly is ending (well, a little because iCarly is ending), but because I have MASSIVE writer’s block. But enough with the sad stuff. If we’re gonna go out, we might as well go out in a blaze of glory!

Shall we get this started?

»Scene 1 – Ridgeway High«

So far, nothing points that this is the last iCarly episode. How could it, it just started…

Carly is by her locker when Sam approaches with a piece of wood with a bunch of nails. It can be used for a multitude of things, though the main use is the scratching of backs, while tearing clothes apart. And Carly’s not Sam’s first visit, as Freddie will now demonstrate.

Freddie’s “phone” is ringing. That’s no phone, that’s a chocolate bar! You thought I was gonna say space station, didn’t you? All joking aside, my brother has a smaller version of that phone.

That phone has a dual-quad-core processor? Can you run… let me think of a game… Oh, Assassin’s Creed 3 on it?

So, it’s a Samsun Gemini MaxPad. The name makes it sound like a high-tech version of women’s hygiene product…

Gibby is right to laugh…

Apparently, Col. Steven Shay can’t take his daughter to a militar-endorsed dance.

“Big phone…”

By now, you should have somehow realized that there are references aplenty to iCarly’s first episode, iPilot.

»Opening Credits«

The last iCarly’s opening credits. These ones have been especially tuned to show you how the kids have grown, how far they’ve come.

»Scene 2 – Bushwell Plaza – Shays’ Apartment«

Spencer is fixing a motorcycle. A particular detail about this motorcycle is that it was not designed to be ridden while playing children’s card games!

Does Mama know her bikes?

Of course, it had to be for Socko’s cousin, Ryder. I wonder if we’ll ever see Socko…

Audrey? Spencer’s girlfriend of the episode?

Gibby’s line here does not surprise me at all. But I do wonder why he has a lamp on his hand…

1 - Oh Gibby

Only Gibby would see an exercise machine in a motorcycle.

Lucky Spencer! He got himself a date with one of his exes. But he didn’t run over this one.

“Audrey, the most important girlfriend I’ve ever had. The only girl I’ve ever… really been in love with.” Cue Gibby’s ‘aw’.

2 - Aw
Spencer’s meeting Audrey at the airport. In times like these, it is wise to remember the words of famous TV psychologists such as, Dr. Lance Sweets and Dr. Kevin Venkataraghavan. In a nutshell, they said that when you are reunited with someone from your past after a long period of time, you will inevitably start acting as you did when you were around that person. This theory has been proven LOTS OF TIMES.

“Hey, where’s the teenage girl that actually lives here?” Keen perception, Spencer! I don’t know.

Gib, Sam was talking! Come on!

I don’t know what to say to Gibby’s response…

Gibby wants a new head. I think a new head won’t solve his problem…

Jewish action figures?

For some reason, I think that Sam’s interest in the bike is unnatural…

»Meanwhile, at the Groovy Smoothie«

Carly is busy looking at her pear-shaped phone with a sad look on her face.

T-Bo’s a good listener…

»Scene 3 – Back at Bushwell Plaza«

Sam and Spencer is helping Spencer with the bike.

And Spencer is telling Sam how he met their mother. Sorry, how he met Audrey.

Icky girl named Velma who smelled like cheese.

“I’d love to date a guy who smelled like cheese…” Excuse me for a moment, guys. Phoebe, I want you to order 30 cans of cheese spray. I want them yesterday.

Lewbert, it’s been too long!

Spencer’s been exposed!! Kill the germ! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!

What? It’s the wrong choke knob?

Don’t give up, Spencer. “Show me that Spencer smile.”

3 - Spencer smile

… I don’t know what to say…

Hey, look! Carly has arrived!

“Dadless?” Col. Shay isn’t dead, he’s just busy…

Ah… So that’s why she’s upset…

“Look who’s getting all elderly?” I have the PERFECT image for this line, hang on.


And so, Spencer takes the proverbial bullet for his younger sister, by ditching on his old girlfriend… Now that’s love… or a screenplay, one or the other…

Spencer’s taking Carly to the Father-Daughter Dance… we haven’t seen the last of this…

Come on, Lewbert, that’s just mean…

»Commercial Break«

»Scene 4 – Shays’ apartment«

The references to the show itself keep popping up, now it’s the song from iGet Pranky, “The Joke Is On You”.

Carly left home in her PJs. I’ve heard legends, myths, if you will, of things worse than that…

Spencer’s sick. I’m not saying it was Lewbert, but it was Lewbert.

And to fight the fever, a prolonged stay at a place called FreezingRefrigeratorheim. It feels better than you’d think, though it is highly discouraged by most doctors.

Tuna casserole for breakfast? I’ve definitely seen worse…

»Scene 5 – Green Meadow Mall«

For some reason, I love the name.

Dan Schneider, a master of subtlety, decided to stop trying. Just look at the names of the stores… Get-a-head, Just In Case… I was expecting something, more thought-provoking…

Freddie’s brick is immediately recognized by the shopkeep (yeah, I said shopkeep) of Get-a-head.

“She must hate you.”

They sell Penny-Ts at Green Meadow Mall… It’s supposed to be near Chicago… I’m sorry, Seattle. I’ve no idea why I wrote Chicago.

Gibby wants a replica of his head. In the Mission Impossible series, this would be done by taking pictures of the head of the Gibby and create a replica out of a material which name I cannot recall at this time. Basically, at Get-A-Head, they do the same thing, but they require the Gibby to lie perfectly still for 2 hours…

“Cabeza duplicada.”

And here is one of iCarly’s greatest mysteries: Freddie’s Spanish ramblings… And as soon as he starts to explain, is interrupted by the shopkeep at Get-A-Head.

Why would anyone bring a weasel to their workplace?

“Dude, go easy on the weasy…” I think now’s the perfect time to add a Ron Weasley joke. Can’t think of any…

Gibby’s an animal lover. *rolls eyes* That came out wrong…

Good luck finding a case for your brick, Freddie.

»Scene 6 – Shays’ Apartment«

Spencer is on the couch, sick with Lewbert germs.

Everyone knows that the cure to the flu is to lift your shirt up.

Sam got herself a Tub o’Chicken.

Meekalito is calling Spencer. Don’t know who Meekalito is? He’s Dan in a costume.

BTW, Spencer doesn’t understand the concept of bargaining or negotiation… He’d be an amazing hostage negotiator… You can tell by the look on your face that I’m joking…

»Scene 7 – Just in Case, the kiosk«

That’s not a phone case…

The only case that fits the brick is a man-purse.  (Attention, the link is NOT SAFE FOR WORK! Okay, it contains the word “F***in’, as in ‘kidding me’”)

“Don’t you think it looks kinda feminine?” No!! What kind of idea is that, Freddie? Indiana Jones wore one! (But yeah, it does look kinda feminine…)

It is perfect for the MaxPad (which still sounds like a women’s hygiene product), but not for Freddie. I mean, what will the fangirls think?

»Scene 7 – Meekalito’s Motorcycle Repair and Rock Shop«

4 - Dan

When I first saw the episode, I didn’t recognize Dan as Meekalito… But then again, he had to make a cameo… It’s tradition…

A choke knob for a ’64 Sterling, coming right up!

“These are my rocks…”

5 - Schneider's Lubricants

Schneider’s lubricants? So that’s why Spencer sets everything on fire!

Now, Sam knows how to negotiate.

And so, she leaves Meekalito talking to his rocks…

»Scene 8 – Get-A-Head«

The head of the Gibby has been fully scanned and now they can begin the replication proper.

There’s Freddie with his new manpurse.

Lookie, lookie, it’s Mrs. Benson and Mrs. Lillien!

Manpurses… also worn by women…

»Meanwhile, at Bushwell Plaza…«

Spencer’s ready for the dance, but he’s still sick. And his temperature is 103…

I’m hot blooded, check it and see.
I got a fever of a hundred and three.
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I’m hot blooded, hot blooded.

Sorry guys, it had to be here.

And Spencer comes crashing down… but still dancing… now, that’s hot blooded!

»Commercial Break«

»Scene 9 – Bushwell Plaza«

Carly and Sam are sitting on the couch eating comfort food.

I don’t know what to say at this segment…

»Meanwhile, at Get-A-Head«

Freddie’s manpurse is ringing. And it’s Sam.

Look, if you please at the following image:

6 - Twothings

There’s Freddie on the left, and Sam on the right. Nothing weird, right?

Look at Freddie, please. Sam just told him she has to talk to him about something important, and Freddie asked her if she wanted to get back together. Direct your attention to his eyebrow. Also, I don’t think this is the last we’ve seen of Seddie… And here’s the funny part: the manpurse, it has one job. Making sure his brick is stolen.

Freddie to the rescue!!

Also, there are people who never saw a Gibby with his head trapped in a glass container.

And the Gibby runs around…

»Scene 10 – the Apartment«

Spencer is feeling better.

Sam fixed the bike?

So much work for nothing?? I demand satisfaction! *glove slap*

And that’s how Sam got her motorcycle. Hopefully, she won’t play any card games on it… That would be stupid.

»Scene 11 – Get-A-Head«

Gibby got a head and a weasel, for free!!

»Scene 12 – The Apartment«

Carly’s, in the words of Mrs. Eriksen, abusing herself. She’s looking at the wallpaper of the Father-Daughter Dance.

Sam took her bike for a test drive… Is she even allowed to drive? Is she old enough? Sam, not Jennette.

There’s a ring on the door…

And I wish I saw Sam’s face on this situation…

7 - Suited up


And he STILL carries the manpurse…

“Miss Shay…”
“May we escort you to the dance?”

But she breaks into tears…

Seriously, what did they do?

Here’s the big, huge, GINORMOUS reveal of the episode: Here comes Tom Hanks, as foretold by the internet collective consciousness known as Twitter.

8 -A few things wrong with this image:

  1. This isn’t Tom Hanks.
  2. When someone inserts the key in the keyhole, you would hear. Unless you leave the door open, and who’d leave the door open?
  3. Did I mention that man in not Tom Hanks?

If you would allow me, I will post two snippets of Dan’s Fun Facts of this episode.

During the first season of iCarly, I had the basic idea for the very last episode.

I knew I wanted Carly and Spencer’s dad, Colonel Shay, to return, for a special event.  I knew that Carly would be missing her dad terribly, and that he would make a surprise return home.  That’s how I wanted the series to end.

I had this vision of the front door opening, Carly hearing her dad’s voice, turning, breaking into a huge smile, yelling “Dad!” and running into his arms.  I saw that scene in my head back in 2008.  So, it was kind of surreal when we filmed that very scene, in 2012.

Also, this:

And here comes one of the most awesome, magical moments in the history of iCarly.  It gives me chills every time I watch it.  I had this moment in my brain – the return of Carly’s dad, and her reaction – way back in 2008.  And now, it finally happens here.  I wonder if you will feel choked up (in a good way) like I do, every time I watch this moment.

There is a saying that goes: if you can see it in your mind’s eye, you will grasp it in your hands. This right here is an AMAZING example of the power of the Law of Attraction. But this post isn’t about that.

“So, Spencer’s not your dad?” Isn’t it obvious by now, Gibby?

The usual greetings occur.

We have known, for 109 episodes, that Spencer is just a kid in a grown man’s body. Here’s the undeniable evidence.

9 - Spencer

Even Col. Shay agrees with me, that manpurse is incredibly feminine…

»Commercial Break«

»Scene 13 – the Apartment of the Shays«

Crazy hat party occurring. Yet another reference to iPilot.

T-Bo introduces himself to Col. Shay. He asks if T-Bo’s dating Freddie’s mom. T-Bo chokes at the thought.

What? Col. Shay is already leaving? I admit, I know what that is like…

Italy? It’s a dream of mine to go there…

Italian smoothies… They do use gelato.

And what convinced Carly to go to Italy is the thought of Italian guys.

One last iCarly.

Meet Colonel Steven Shay of the USAF. *salutes*

Baby Spencer freaks many people out…

A people’s favorite: “The Cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought That The Cowboy’s Mustache was a Squirrel”.

An iCarly PSA (Public Service Announcement).

Carly is making a See-Ya-Later speech. Somewhere, a Nevel Papperman is looking at this and laughing manically and maybe he’s  spinning his chair in a celebratory fashion…

“I wanna say, to the fans of iCarly, thank you!” No, Carly, thank you!

“I’m Carly.”
“I’m Sam.”
“And this has been iCarly.” No words to describe this.

»Scene 14 – Carly’s Room«

Carly’s packing her clothing to go with her dad.

“We both know I’m a big, tall, goofy man-child.” Good, Spencer, the first step is admitting it.

“Being a grownup doesn’t mean you have to stop being silly and creative and fun.” Totally agreed…

»Scene 15 – Former iCarly Studio«

I want you to see this. Not for what it looks like, but for what it really is.

Freddie is packing up his high tech stuff.

10 - Body language

This is not the body language that precedes a romantic kiss.

But, perhaps more important, is this:

11 - John Hughes

This, my friends, is a reference to Mr. John Hughes. A director, writer, producer who passed away in 2009. But this short video featuring Emma Stone should provide a better insight.


The goodbyes. Always a hard part, especially for Jennette.

Gibby is the first one to give in to the tears…

Sam gives Carly the blue remote…

And, aboard an Aloft Airlines Airplane, Carly watches iCarly and sends us all in a trip down Memory Lane.

Freddie remembers how he practically appointed himself iCarly tech producer.

Spencer remembers the video squirrel… which has been on slow burn for 6 years, and only now has caught fire.

Sam remembers eating ham, while talking about iCarly.

In the very end, we see a car with the word iCarly on the license plate. Is that legal?

It’s been a blast doing this for you guys. This blog has done very well, for a small blog, with no previous experience in writing… And I owe it all to you guys. THANK YOU!!

This blog will stay online, I will only post it if I deem necessary.

You’ll still be able to find me on Twitter and on Facebook.

From RobSp1derp1g to you all, see you soon.

iOpen A Restaurant Review

Welcome to the iOpen a Restaurant review. Shall we get on with it?

»Scene 1 – iCarly webcast«

Drilling meat. Two words that have never been used together… Even MS Word has trouble recognizing it.

“Science Fact of The Day?” Is it possible that iCarly has connections to the people behind the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, Aperture Science, also known as Aperture Labs?

Einstein’s alive?

Never mix clam juice and soy sauce. It causes you to explode…

“Can’t argue with Science.”

Spencer drunk both liquids and now he’s ok… okay, he exploded, leaving only his shoes…

Follow @CoolEinstein! You’ll learn something new every time. He’s like Bunsen Jude “The Science Dude”.

»Sometime later«

Grandpa Shay is worried about Spencer’s wellbeing, because he exploded.

The Shays have been robbed! Someone stole the TV, and the computer…

And Spencer is wearing Carly’s bathrobe.

Don’t, Spencer!

»Title Credits«

»Scene 2 – Ridgeway High«

Carly’s showing pics the cops sent her to Freddie.

I think I know that guy…

Carly’s right, he doesn’t care.

Carly’s worried about Gibby, she says it’s not like him to miss 2 classes in a row.

Now, here’s the line that created a fan war last Saturday, “Is it too late for you to love me?”

I think this is just an outburst from Freddie. But more on that later.

Sam arrives to tell Carly and Freddie that Gibman (yeah, Gibman) is in the school basement.

Carly’s relief is evident in her voice when she says “Is he okay?” He’s okay, by Gibby standards.

Go, go with Sam.

»Some time later«

The gang arrives at the basement. It’s full of spider webs.

Gibby welcomes the gang. The way he said it reminds me of movies with brain-washing religious cults.

He has wanted to open a restaurant… for as long as he can remember. And what better location for a restaurant than a high school basement?

It could actually work, Carly…

“Dreamspitter?” That’s a new one… But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since there are parents that name their kids “Bartzina” and Hayley Dreamsmasher Smith. Look them up.

Opening a restaurant on the roof does have its advantages… Fresh air, amazing view…

Freddie goes in to support Carly, but he asks if there would be lasagna. Personally, I don’t like lasagna. The first time I had some it was really messed up.

And then Sam asks if there would be tater tots. I don’t know if I ever had that. I don’t know what that is.

A waterpark underground, Carly? Really?

Freddie is going to follow Carly up. And Sam starts to get suspicious…

“You got a new little crush on her?” Yeah, Freddie, she did ask you that. And if I may quote the Dark Prince from Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones (I’m a nerd, sue me.) “I eagerly await your response.”

And as Freddie walks upstairs, you can see that Sam is upset about that.

See? Look at her face…

Gibby comes to the rescue, but Sam intervenes: “Too close.”

»Scene 3 – Bushwell Plaza«

Okay, now I’m starting to get a little curious. Freddie’s going back to his old ‘crushing on Carly’ ways? Let’s see who wrote this episode…

“Written by Dan Schneider and Jake Farrow”. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sure there’s a pretty sure there’s an explanation for Freddie’s behavior. Now, to find it…

I must admit, having 37 external flashes hit your eyes simultaneously seems like a lot.

37,000? Dude, that’s impressive!

Another one?

»Scene 4 – Ridgeway High Basement – Gibby’s«

Carly and Freddie are amazed that Gibby has actually managed to open a restaurant. By now, they should have somehow realized that anything is possible in a Dan Schneider show.

Carly still can’t believe it. Two words: it’s butter.

Only cool people can eat at Gibby’s. Friends of theirs. Even though I don’t know who the guy in the right table is. Or the hot girl next to him… I think I’m in love. But I’ve never talked to her. Can any of you introduce me? Cookie for whoever gets the reference.

Red pepper on pasta? Not my cup of tea, to be honest.

Sam has a cousin who has a nose. Shocker.

“So, I’ll hook it up?”
“Hook it, baby!”

Sibby shippers must be high right now…

Red pepper lemonade? That’s a first…

And Carly’s running around looking fo- Dayum… There’s some amazing girls in this school…

Okay, okay, we get it! You don’t like the lemonade…

»Commercial break«

»Scene 6 – Gibby’s Gibby’s«

Gibby’s has a new look. Round metal tables and a more roadside diner style. That is, comparing to the roadside diners I see on TV.

There’s a kid that just returned from juvie. Billy Boots.

Gibby doesn’t take his shirt off anymore. At least, not without a good reason.

Oh, no. Someone just pissed Gibby off… And that’s not a good thing to do.

So, when you insult Gibby, you get free stuff at his restaurant?

Oh, it’s just like in Buttersock 3: Return of the Buttersock…

»Scene 7«

Spencer called Carly and Freddie in from school, to show them his new toy/security system.

I must admit, this looks quite dangerous…

Okay, 1200 ft/s… That equals about… 818.1799 miles per hour or 365.7584 meters/second. Math…

Damn, those popcorn kernels are made of what? Metal?

»Meanwhile, back at Gibby’s«

Gibby’s back… Back again…

Sam to the rescue! It still amazes me that Sam can overpower anyone. And I wish to test that.

»Meanwhile, thousands of miles away«

As I wrote this, I had a MAJOR dejá vu moment.

Spencer, Carly and Freddie are going to use Mrs. Benson as bait, to turn off the kill machine.

When all else fails, unplug the machine.

»Scene 8«

Professor Howard is back from the moon… I don’t recall if he was killed by the Decepticons…

Mr. Howard, you can see all the restaurant supplies here, so the simplest answer, and the most obvious one is, “DUH!”

All the good things come to an end… and as such, Gibby’s will close…

And they say professors aren’t nice…

What was your favorite thing about this episode? Let me know through the comments!

iGo One Direction Review

WARNING – This episode contains copious amounts of One Direction. Women with heart conditions are advised not to look directly at One Direction. This also applies to women without heart conditions. They’re very pretty – see? See how pretty they are? They’re very pretty! I’d like to run my fingers through their hair; and I’m just text! Anyway, without further ado, enjoy your iCarly episode.

Welcome, everyone, to the review of iGo One Direction. You’ve read the warning and by reading this either out loud or to yourself, you’re agreeing not to sue.

»Scene 1 – Carly and Spencer just arrived home«

From this image, one can assume that the Shays went to Mexico. And that Spencer STILL hasn’t gotten muscles. You know why? Because, despite the fact that his sister is at least 10 years younger than him, and that she’s a bit sick, SHE’s the one carrying all the bags…

“Maybe I should take you to a doctor…” Maybe? I don’t think that there’s any need for that… There a psychotic nurse right across the hall, perhaps she cou… Yeah, a doctor’s better… Probably Dr. Dresdin, who lives in 10-G. Or, if you’re really in a hurry, Dr. Who!

There’s a party going on in the apartment of the Shays! It looks like a pre-4th of July (which I hope to celebrate this year), complete with a barbecue, kids in a kiddie pool, and videogames!

“She okay?”
“No, she’s like dying.” And you STILL haven’t taken her to a doctor, or your neighbor.

There’s a Gibby head watching the video game.

What’s the problem, Gib? Are you afraid of worms?

Of course Sam would know about jungle worms…

Poor Carly… but the stakes are ready.

»Title Sequence«

»Scene 2«

Gibby is rubbing Sam’s feet. However, if I did not see it, and just heard it, I wouldn’t say that they were rubbing feet.

These replies to Spencer were actually pretty awesome!

“Hey, guys! Guess what I got?”
“A woman?”
“A job?”
“A friend your own age?”

So, Spencer got an exercise machine… actually, for a moment there, I thought I heard Spencer say exorcise machine… I actually did…

Uhh, the Omniflex… Omni, meaning “all”, and flex, meaning “physical effort”.

Is that… Is that a single popcorn on your navel? Navel means belly button…

Freddie received an e-mail from the manager of a British band. Who are they? Take That? Franz Ferdinand? Muse? (Actually, a serious note here: Muse were the favorite band of a friend of mine who recently passed away.) Coldplay? (“You know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.”) David Bowie? (“I’m not David Bowie”) The Beatles?

Oh, it’s WandErection, I mean, One Direction… Never heard of them…

Gibby’s a big fan of them…

If I may quote the e-mail: “Dear Freddie (Oh my God), in response to your e-mail, my clients, One Direction, will be in the Seattle area later this week, and they would love to appear on iCarly and perform a song.” That’s huge for them, first Plain White T’s, now One Direction, who’s next? James Blunt? Taylor Swift? Maroon 5? Uh, uh, Gym Class Heroes with Adam Levine!!!

Look at this! This is Cutting Room Flow!

If I didn’t know it’s a fake software, I’d probably download it illegally…

»Scene 3«

Spencer’s getting a visit and a package for Spencer Spay. Oh, the subliminal messages…

You’re a personal exercise trainer?

Spencer unknowingly fixed a babe magnet…

»Scene 4 – iCarly studio«

Freddie is working with the camera…

A few things to retain: Sam texted Freddie from jail. But she’s just visiting…

Carly saved Freddie from a possible infection with Jungle Worms.

It has been a very long time since I got to say this, Gibby suited up! Look at the Gibster:

He might just be the biggest male fan of 1D…

And Sam, who just got here from prison, announces that WandErection, I mean One Direction have arrived. And Gibby unleashes the inner fangirl. Basically, he does what I would do if I saw any of the 33 names I have on my phone… All of those names are female.

Yeah, I know… In my opinion, the use of this image was WAY overdue…

One Direction are performing a song. And that song is “What Makes You Beautiful.”

Sam makes a quick announcement: “I’m not currently dating anyone.” Please note this look on Freddie’s face:

And, of course, Gibby’s foot massages. He has, according to Spencer, “the hands of a goddess”.

British sandwiches…

Carly leaves the water bottle with the cute Texan water bottle holder unprotected near the tech cart.

I would like to thank @VillayCescilove for identifying the members of 1D.

I don’t know if you know this but it’s 5 of them… “Just putting that out there…”

!Would you guys autograph my sister’s scrapbook?” I didn’t know Taylor was a fa… Sister’s? Then why does it have a G on the cover?

Okay, I must say this: I’ve been speaking English for over 10 years now, 7 of those were spent learning British English, and I can’t understand what they say! Luckily, I have a transcript. Let me check… Oh, yeah, Harry asked Louis if there was any water. And Louis says “Ova ther…”

“Handgoons” Yeah, in America, we use them bloody handgoons to kill people…

»Sometime later…«

Spencer is combing his not-so-lady-like hair for his personal exercise trainer time.

Sam likes One Direction… Is that why Freddie’s joining a band? Pretzels for thought…

Spencer, she doesn’t care. Like, at all…

What the deuce? Who’s the incredibly rude girl?

“Kid, what are you doing?”
“Smelling this fudge!” Isn’t it obvious, Spencer?

“My mother said you were gonna exercise me!” Should I be the one to let you know that this sounds like there’s another connotation to this sentence?

I can’t believe Spencer is helpless towards a kid…

»Some time later«

Geez, hum, what’s his name… Right, Harry’s feeling really bad… He can’t even stand…

Gibby, go sit in the…

Yeah, there. Stay there.

You feel cold? And thirsty? You know what that means, don’t you? It means you read the wrong part of the script!

Carly gave Harry Styles jungle worms? Dun, dun, dun…

»Commercial break«

»Scene 4, Carly’s room«

Dr. Dresden is taking care of Harry.

“Is he better?”
”I think so… or maybe not.” What kind of doctor are you?

“We’re so lucky to have a doctor right here in the building.” Still thinking a psychotic nurse would be better…

Here’s a nice pun: Harry wants fruit cut into cubes, the way only Carly does. ‘Cause “that’s what makes you beautiful.”

»Some time later«

Spencer’s forcing that kid to get some exercise, while Spencer eats.

45 seconds!

Spencer’s like me, he can’t see a girl cry.

Bethany’s not awkward, she just has a very bad personality.

A makeover?

»Scene 7 – Groovy Smoothie«

San Francisco! The city the show Monk takes place in!

Note that Sam’s reaction is an actual effect obtained from being around celebrities. Go to a celebrity, ask them to say the name of a country or city and watch the results.

Harry’s having all of his needs taken care of…

T-Bo’s taking pics of 1D with his pearPhone.

“…he’s having a good time at Hotel Carly-fornia.” What a lovely place, what a lovely place, what a lovely place.

Butter Sock 4: The Re-Return of The Butter Sock.

“Is that a sock?”
“Full of butta?”

Freddie wants to “replace” Harry from 1D, forcing him to admit that he’s just in it for the lulz, I mean, for Carly’s attention.

“Who with?”

Here’s the question that is on EVERYONE’s mind. Who will replace Harry? Who has the raw talent, predisposition to sing and intricate knowledge of OneDirection’s songs that is required to sing with the group? Ali Brustofski? Megan Nicole? Uh, uh, Aria Summer Wallace!

This guy.

Harry admits he’s feeling better and that he’ll be able to perform on iCarly, on the condition that they never let Gibby sing, or dance ever again.

And as usual, Gibby’s not in on it.

»Some time later«

Spencer is giving a little girl a makeover. It’s Extreme Makeover: Kid Edition.

Agh, my eyes!!

“We need some kind of resolution!” I hear the fourth wall breaking.

»Scene 8 – iCarly webcast«

The girls just presented One Direction.

I’ve been on Twitter for a while now. And every day, I hear about One Direction but never thought about it. But this song is awesome!

Sam kidnapped Zayn?

Guys, get ready! Tomorrow there’s another iCarly episode tomorrow. It’s called iOpen a Restaurant! And it is gonna be fun… I guess…

iApril Fools Review

Rob’s Reviews, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. RobSp1derp1g, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law. 

Welcome, faithful readers! We bring you today my review to iApril Fools, another episode of iCarly!

First of all, I have to apologize. This review was done when I wasn’t feeling too well, and I had some stuff holding me down…

Let’s get started!

This time, the gang warns us that this is not an usual episode of iCarly. And it is not for normal people. And the answer for it is… soup.

»Title Credits«

These credits are a bit different… There’s a montage with pics of them when they started doing iCarly and how they are now. And there’s fire and lightning in the middle…

There’s a box with items which belong to @DanWarp. Here, take a look:

»Scene 1 – Bushwell Plaza, Shays’ very bare living room«

Are the Shays moving?

The Shays have been EVICTED? That is a TERRIBLE way to spend April Fools! Mine’s gonna be more creative… Then again, not that much…

I find it harder to believe that the owner’s name is Bushwell than Carly stabbed him…

10 o’clock PST? I’m on DST, so what time is that on GMT?

“Sure had a lot of good times on this place.”
“Yeah, we sure had…” Oh, God, here it comes, reminiscing time…

“You guys remember the time we were all sitting around watching that TV show?”
“What episode of that TV show?”
“You mean the one where the characters talk about crazy stuff that happened in previous episodes?” Isn’t that all TV shows?
“And then they flashback to the scenes they were talking about?” Yup, that’s ALL TV shows.

Reminiscing time!

Dan Schneider is talking in the TV! It is my belief that this is an episode (with flashback) of Head Of The Class..

That’s the 2nd time I’ve ever seen people so excited about flashbacks…

Gibby comes in from the elevator to steal something…

The new tenants are from France! *le gasp*

Gibby hit Spencer in the head with the STOP sign he stole…

But Sam tells him that is not how April Fools works… so Gibby kisses Spencer on the cheek and runs away…

They’re going away against their wishes, so they are having a party, complete with a party bush…

T-Bo’s invited too, so Sam calls him.

T-Bo’s a genie?

And T-Bo proceeds to do the same thing Gibby did, smack Spencer in the head with a STOP sign.

“Will you just take us to the next scene, please?”

Hard cut to…

»Scene 2 – Party’s location«

Freddie’s NOT partying without a party bush… He wants it so bad he starts to feel a bit ill due to not having a party bush…

That’s the power of magic. T-Bo blinks and they get a party bush… but is it me, or it’s a bit dry?

Ah, iCarly… I used to love that webshow… Now? I still do…

They are going to think back on the reason they started iCarly…

Whoa! They have suddenly been transported to school! There is some Butterfly Effect chiz going on here…

This is the event that led to the creation of iCarly… After this, Freddie uploaded Carly and Sam’s video and accidentally created iCarly…

After the final denial from Ms. Briggs, Carly and Sam the scene cuts to… What?

That’s Ms. Briggs from another universe which is not this one!!

If their energies collide, there will be an explosion with galactic proportions!

FIRE IN THE HOLE!! TAKE COVER!! That is the example of over 6 years playing Counter Strike and Call of Duty… If I may quote Jeffrey Albertson (known to many as Comic Book Guy), “life well spent!”

It’s an explosion of galactic proportions, but it’s confined to a few inches… and it’s perfectly safe to walk on the blast radius afterwards. Look:

“We should start a webshow.”
“Okay, what do we call it?”

And here’s the kicker, non-nerd Freddie actually trying to be a nerd.

And of course, who could forget Sparky.

And Freddie can move while in freeze frame!

See? What did I tell you? Going to a re-enactment of the past changed the course of Blitztory! *ghost-like whispers* Blitz…

“What time is it?” It’s time for Spencer to be hit in the head with a STOP sign, AGAIN… However, despite the caps, I find it very amusing…

Poachy? Sounds strangely familiar and delicious…

Here they go again…

Oh, the harp…


The girls are intelligent, don’t get me wrong, I thought that girls like these had been discontinued, but sometimes they can be so thick headed!

Miko is able to predict the future… look:

Gibby, you’re violating the rules of flashingbacking!

There’s an Asian guy knocked out in your studio. You start dancing like a cowboy in Texas…

Yet another flashback. I didn’t know the Shays had a cat… Is it me, or isn’t that cat Jackson, Dan’s cat?

There’s an old saying, Gibby, and it goes like this: “Take me by the tongue and I’ll know you” See what I did there? Nah, the saying is “Payback’s a [CENSORED]”

»Commercial Break«

“We’re back!”
“Back from what?”
“I dunno…”

Let me clarify some things. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a party bush, but talking party bushes? That’s epic, dawg…

T-Bo just watered the bush…

Now, they talk about Carly’s lack of bad moods. And they are proven wrong, in a flashbacking way.

Huh? What are they doing in Tori Vega from Victorious’s house? And that’s the former blogger who alienated his friends by writing about them!!

It’s like a virus… “just leave it all to me”

Spencer’s really long hair… like a lady’s.

It was when iSaved Your Life aired. “12 million viewers…”

Spencer’s ladylike hair…

Here comes Mr. Bushwell.

Just one question, why does Gibby take down his pants when he gets depressed?

Think back, Mr. Bushwell…

Look! It’s the Doc! He brings a warning!

Go back to a future episode!!

And here’s the obvious reference to Back to the Future, in which there is a mention to the possibility of Seddie children.

And T’bo’s time machine!!

This episode shows that you don’t need to have a storyline to have a good time… Stupid line, I know…

And again, I’m sorry about the delay.

iToe Fatcakes Review

The Year 2040

Kids, in Spring 2010 and thanks to your uncle, I saw your mother for the first time. Of course, I didn’t know at the time that she was going to be your mother.

Since then, I became addicted to the show she was in. It was a little show called iCarly. In the show, your mother played a young girl who was an internet sensation and had a love-hate relationship with your uncle Nathan’s character. I first noticed her when, in the show, she entered the Groovy Smoothie, which is sort of a bar, and your uncle Nathan was dancing with aunt Miranda, on-character, of course. Your mother looked sad and about to cry, and my brother, your uncle, said the 3 words that changed my perspective on the show. “She likes him.”

Ever since then, I went online and tried to find the episodes of the show she was on…

“Come on!! Come ON!!!”

I found them, but I also found something else… your mother was a musician and she had this song that left me speechless…

“They’re playing guitar with stars in their eyes on Broadway…”

Her song motivated me to want to come to California. I already wanted to come here, but not for that reason… but more on that later…

Eventually, I created a blog where I would comment on the episodes of the show. It grew in popularity… People liked it. Liked my comments. So I did more. And more. And people literally begged for more.

This is one of those reviews I made.

Welcome to the iToe FatCakes review. If you have not yet seen the episode, you’re most likely wondering about the weird title of this episode. If you have seen it, it makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?

I was thinking I could add a few more lines in this, but I don’t know what kind of lines I might add… so I’ll just start with the review.

»Scene 1 – iCarly webcast live«

A flying Gibby? That’s not safe! Gibbies are not meant to fly!! A Gibby’s natural habitat is in the water!

See? He wants to go to the water, even though there is none.

And while Sam and Carly drag this Gibby to a nearby pond or body of water, Freddie talks to the camera.

Kids, you see that blond girl? That’s your mother…

“And that’s it for iCarly!“ “That’s not it.” Huh? It’s not? What else could there be?

Sam has been clean for 10 whole days!! It’s a 10-day-niversary! I hate myself so much right now…

They invited the Mayor of Seattle! Who refused their invitation… So they invited the fake Mayor, Mayor Mustachio. And this one accepted.

He has a sash? It’s SO official!

Kids, I should tell you, the sash actually had “sash” written on it.

Sam goes 10 days as a good girl and gets a box of raisins… a bag of dog…

Stuff, he said stuff.

… and it’s still warm… and a movie directed by David Schwimmer. Also still warm.

Kids, I should explain. David Schwimmer was an actor who had a few troubles after making some stuff that was not well received by the public.

And a little treat from Carly. This is the thing Sam would kill to have. Probably…

Sam has obtained a ticket that is good for a VIP ticket to the Canadian Fat Cake Factory. They’re illegal in the States. And they’re better than the American Fat Cakes.

Kids, take her word for it. If you don’t, then take mine. I have tasted the Canadian Fat Cakes and I must say: they are unlike anything you might have tried. It tastes like an angel stole that recipe from God himself…

There is one thing. Spencer, we don’t need to know about your mayoral pants… or where they are tight…

»Title Credits«

»Scene 2 – Shay’s apartment«

Gibby is…

Kids, let me explain that. Gibby was a character from the TV show your mother was on. He had been a recurring character with the recurring joke of taking off his shirt. As he grew older, he stopped taking off his shirt. Back to the story.

… bringing a big suitcase with lots of stuff, because he’s going to Canada, which he thinks is not a country. It’s known as “America Junior.” And according to Barney Stinson, their money is a “joke” (to be read with a soft ‘j’)

And Carly has a date with a guy named Lance. Who has a car… By the way, having a car does not necessarily mean he can drive… But the real reason why Carly wants to date Lance is because she’s having withdrawal symptoms…


»Shays’ bathroom«

Carly’s taking a nice long bath… with lots of foam… but no water whatsoever.

Kids, it was said I paid a lot of attention to the details on this show… you’ll find out why in a second.

She’s also watching TV! First “America’s Most Wanted” (I get the feeling this will be used in another episode), then “Twinjas” on the Dingo Channel…

Again, I need to explain this, kids. The Dingo Channel was a fictional TV channel that blatantly and shamelessly copied ideas from iCarly. They got socked. Hard. And by “socked”, I actually mean, “socked.” Sam beat the living fudge out of them with a butter sock.

…and Drake and Josh on Nick… Don’t need to explain the joke here, do I?

Yes, I do. Drake and Josh was a predecessor of sorts for iCarly. It was one of The President’s TV series. After she completed Drake and Josh, His Excellency The President Daniel Schneider asked her to star on his new show, iCarly.

She’s also watching “The [REDACTED] Van [REDACTED] Show”, starring [REDACTED] Van [REDACTED]. Again, do I need to explain the joke?

Kids, this time I won’t explain the joke. Google it. Since Google took over the world, searching is much easier with the new Google search app for your brains…

Anyway, Carly saw that lady insert her toe in the faucet and decided to do the same thing. Big mistake. Big laughs…

And see you naked? I know a couple of people who would pay to see that…

Kids, I wasn’t mistaken, but that came out so wrong…

»Scene 2 – Somewhere over the border«

Samantha Puckett has entered Heaven… or at least her vision of Heaven… the Canadian Fatcake Factory…

She looks like she has been hypnotized by all the Fatcakes…

Oh, the Fatcake event… we’ll get to that…

Another of Freddie’s Spanish rants… “Estados Unidos de Gibby…”

An angry Canadian? That’s a defiance of all logic! Canadian people are polite, say “please” and “thank you” and if you hit them by accident, THEY will apologize… I’m right, eh?


Gibby, you should not have done that…

She needs to focus to eat the fatcake.

She even cries… But those are tears of deliciousness…

Meanwhile, Carly’s toe is still stuck in the faucet…

She is trying to pick up her phone through the room… by throwing stuff at her phone so that it would fall on the chair…

Remember when I said that there was no water on Carly’s bath? Here’s the evidence…

See? Dry as a… a… a dry thing… I should start using Milhouse on these too…

Kids, you know Milhouse, so I’ll move on.

She catches her phone, but the phone decides to go for a swim.

“There’s no app for that…”

»Scene 3: Border checkpoint«

Sam just wants to go home… but they have to be examinated by the border guards.

“I know you have a crush on me.”
“Nothing…” Spencer, subtle.

Gibby wants to know if Idaho could be its own country… It could, but would probably cause another Civil War. And war is bad…

Wise words, kids. War is bad. WW3 began when the FBI decided to shutdown Megaupload…

Canadian fatcakes? Gibby smuggled one?

Sam is smuggling fatcakes? Oh, she’s bad…

»Commercial break«

Okay, how did Sam manage to carry so many fatcakes? Seriously, that’s like, a lot!

According to the moustached cop, that’s at least 25 kilos. Google tells me it’s 55.1155655 pounds.

Gibby’s giving a dog some juice.

“Dogs really like you.”
“Yeah, dogs and girls with low self-esteem…”

Spencer’s an attorney? He was there for 3 days!

“I DEMAND that Miss Puckett be released on the grounds that… Section C…“

She’s being released…

Sam, don’t do that…

As they pass over the meddling border agent, he meddles with them, and only recognizes Gibby from iCarly, though Sam and Freddie and even Spencer are there…

“You know, I also write a blog about card tricks.” I guess that blog has less hits than… than… Milhouse’s blog! See? See what I did there?

The first president of the USA was, if I’m not mistaken, Abraham Simpson, I mean Lincoln.

Gibby actually thought it was Abraham Franklin…

»Carly’s bathroom«

Carly’s still stuck in the faucet.

And Mrs. Benson is ironing Freddie’s underwear… She hears Carly’s screams and goes to see what’s wrong…

Carly’s wrinkled like an elderly raisin…

“This day cannot get worse…” It just got… worse…

“You bathe in your sweatshirt too?” Mrs. Benson, there’s something very wrong with you.

“Am I hurting you?” No, she’s screaming because she feels like it…

Lance arrives. And Mrs. Benson jumps in to defend Carly… Not that long ago, she was beating her with Freddie’s underwear…

Way to disguise it, Carly…

»At the border…«

“I’d be in serious trouble if she had a parent who cared…” Pam should care about her daughter even if just a bit more…

Sam and Gibby hatched a plan? Awesome.

Gibby doesn’t like fame…

An Asian family took the bag Sam was in! Oh, this is bad…

Spencer, Freddie and Gibby are going back to the States, while Sam goes to God-knows-where…

»Back at the bathroom«

Carly and Lance are on an unusual date. They’re eating Chinese food while Carly is in the bath…

“Your sister’s 18 and she doesn’t have a driver’s license?” What’s wrong with that? I only got my license when I was 21.

And they kiss…

“Just yell if I hit bone!”

And Sam is in Malaysia? How’s she gonna get home? HOW??

All in all, it was a funny episode…

And that pretty much concludes this review…

Have a nice weekend, and keep watching the skies…

The evidence of alien life was brought to light 3 days after I posted this. It was all over the news, all over the world… And yes, I know it’s not related in the slightest, but I really wanted to say that.

Your mother eventually read these, and she laughed her butt off. I knew she was going to be my wife when she laughed…

And now, I’m sleepy. Maybe another day, I’ll tell you the story of how I met your mother…

iBalls review – in 3D!!!!!

Good evening. Due to the 3D effects in this week’s iCarly episode… this review is best read when wearing 3D goggles. Any kind of goggles will do, except those will red and cyan lenses. Those will do absolutely nothing and you’ll look ridiculous in them… Also, we have to censor our own reviews due to Mrs. Benson’s complaining and to show you what this blog would look like if SOPA passed.

So, without further ado, enjoy this week’s review.

»Scene 1 – iCarly webshow is live«

Drama in iCarly? That’s a concept that’s simply unimaginable!

And so, baby Spencer will go to bed… I always wondered how Jerry fits in that cradle…

And who are these news guys? One’s holding a mike and the other a camera… Uhh, mystery…

Brush a baby’s teeth with ketchup?

OH!! Those guys are from Hollywood! It’s about time iCarly got some screentime on the silver screen…

“And we are transparent… Clear.”

The lady from Hollywood Download wants to interview the kids… But first, Spencer. Spencer, however, has other plans… meeting a girl at, you guessed it, [REDACTED]. But the girl is a social worker, she’ll wait for him…

Gibby wants some lipgloss, I don’t know what for, but he does…

Meanwhile, Spencer is introduced to the concept of Personal Assistance…

Freddie wanted to be interviewed as well… But he only counts backwards from 5 and he doesn’t say 1, so… no need for that…

Freddie is redirected to Dudley, the camera guy…

Dudley, don’t complain about your life… Really…

»»Title Credits««

»Scene 2 – [REDACTED]’s men’s room«

My guess is that Spencer’s talking to Socko about a cousin of Socko’s who runs an employment agency… Any guesses on the name?

I’m not sure what to write here… I get the feeling there’s supposed to be a double entendre on the word “clams”, but I’m not sure what…

‘Foap’? Come on, guy whose name don’t know yet…

That guy is trying to tell Spencer he can hire him… But Spencer’s blind, at least sometimes…

Marty who? The only thing that’s missing is a crazy scientist with white hair, and the classic “What the [REDACTED] is that?”… Oh, and the DeLorean, but it’s still in the shop

And Spencer’s neck gets shaved…

»Scene 3 – Shays’ apartment«

Spencer’s watching TV and Freddie’s bummed at the kitchen table…

Aw, Sam… Don’t say stuff like that to your ex and future boyfriend… Huh? See what I did there?

“Can we get a monkey to work the camera?” Again, Sam?

Marty actually resembles the Michael J. Fox… Also, he looks like Harry [REDACTED]…

“We met in a men’s room…”

I could walk the Earth for 1000 years, and still I would not find the words that could go in here… Luckily, I don’t have to.

Carly’s face says it all.

Grandpa Shay is having a foot surgery? That’s too bad…

Carly’s going to Yakima? That gives Seddie a chance…

A [REDACTED] toilet seat? Oh, come on. And “think of me when you’re using it…”? Indescribable… And this time there’s no image…


Look how happy he gets when Sam says “whatevs…” That’s Seddie for you, people…

“Have Baggles standing by…”

»Scene 4 – Sam and Freddie are in the studio«

The “Fredbot 3000”? That’s like, SO lame…

Mrs. Benson brings in an audience because Freddie will be co-hosting the show… She even brings in her doctor.

The doctor’s daughter has a vision problem, called “bilateral optic stenosis”. It’s optic, therefore relates to vision… And if you’re curious enough to look it up on Google, let me save a few moments of your time and tell you this condition is fictional.

“Hey, I have that too!” Gibby, being nice to the ladies…

As the audience sits down, the Gibster gets the camera to start the show…

The first time Freddie tries to co-host iCarly, things go wrong…

Sam admits the sketch was not her idea…

“Robots don’t eat pancakes.” That might just have been the VERY WORST script I’ve ever seen…  And the “I have bugs” bit, utter fail… Even Courtney (love that name, BTW) hated this sketch. Worse than that, even Mrs. Benson disapproves it…

When I thought he couldn’t sink lower, he “reboots”… And again, Courtney (STILL love that name) still disapproves of this sketch…

And Sam hurts Freddie’s feelings…

Baggles is standing by… and he “yogurts” from his nose…

»Commercial Break«

»Scene 5 – Shay’s apartment«

Freddie’s depressed…

Everyone’s talking about Baggles. I get the feeling they’ll use Baggles again in the next season , where iCarly will reach its 100th episode!!! [REDACTED] [REDACTED!!]

“I also really liked unfunny robot…” Spencer, what a thing to have done…

Spencer’s bank is called Banco Loco. If I had a comment about this, I would have said it by now…

Spencer has low balance. He mistook the decimal point for a zero… Spencer, here’s my advice: talk to Isaac.

Sam is trying to cheer Freddie up by saying that tech stuff can be creative. Well, she’s right! Just look at the stuff I make. Both the Webicon Passes and the Troubled Waters Wristbands are evidence of this!

Look at Sam… Jennette looks SO cute when she doesn’t know what to say…

Spencer, did you just say you were riding your assistant? Because people may take that in the wrong way…

»Scene 6 – Special Webcast, to showoff Freddie’s techie 3D chiz«

Sam and Gibby are hosting the special edition of iCarly, the first iCarly to be broadcast in 3D!! I get the feeling there will be some hilarious consequences…

Spencer is being “spooned?” Oh, God… This guy comes up with the best lines… and the ones with the best sexual innuendo… All the while, Marty gives him a pedicure…

“Special 3D effects by iCarly technical producer Fredward Benson.”

This scene, when watched in 3D, will make all fangirls go, “WOOT!!!”

After the show, the kids go downstairs, where Spencer is already showing some signs of vision instability…

High-five with Freddie’s head…

It also shows that Marty didn’t watch iCarly… If he had, his eyes would be off, like Spencer’s…

“…and a bottle of Dr. Gibbs.”

Marty’s “OH MY GOD!!” is very well delivered…

Spencer’s vision out of whack…

“Let’s go bathe in the glory…” I bathed in glory once… It was so soothing…

On the Groovy Smoothie, everyone’s eyes are having problems…

Cleverly, Freddie sorts out the origin of the problems. Their 3D webcast…

Freddie gets depressed, even more than he was previously…

While Sam checks the comments on, Spencer discusses the terms of a lease with the guy from Hollywood Download. All of this to maintain Marty as his assistant…

But Marty quits… And Spencer no longer needs to rent half of his room…

But then, at the door, are Dr. Scholl and his daughter, Courtney Scholl.

Freddie cured a young girl’s fictional vision problem?

“You’ll help cure tens of people…”

“I’d say it takes a super creative dude to invent a new technology that turns goggly-eyed freaks into pretty young girls…” It does…

Marty has gathered his things and he’s about to leave…

Time for a montage… It’s gonna be hard on them… They even frosted a cake together…

Carly returns, but nobody cares…

My take on the episode: We finally know what episode didn’t have Carly in it… And, it did give us a bigger chance of Seddie scenes… But, overall, it was awesome.

We’ll be back soon with the reviews for iToe Fat Cakes and iBloop 2. So, don’t touch that mouse or keyboard! Nah, go ahead and touch them, it might take a while…

iMeet The First Lady Review

“I got a pocket got a pocketful of sunshine, I got a love and i know that it’s all mine oh oh oh oh…” *sees camera* Oh, sh*bleep*…

First of all, I’d like to apologize for a few things. First, this embarrassing scene you just witnessed. Second, the delay in the iBloop 2 and iBalls. There have been some complications of the creative nature and others. Now that is dealt with, welcome to the iMeet The First Lady review!

As the name states, the First Lady Michelle Obama will guest star as herself. Seriously, who’s next, the Pope?

»Scene 1: The Shays’ apartment«

Carly and Freddie are holding up a banner saying “Welcome Home, Dad”.

I don’t know if you guys ever saw the Simpsons Movie, but if you have, I’d like to direct your attention to a specific part of it. When Itchy is in the White House, and Scratchy calls, from the moon, and holds a placard saying “I’m telling.” The sound there totally applies here…

Sam is tying a balloon to Freddie’s phone, which she took from him without him noticing… And they are made of incredibly low quality materials…

After this, Gibby enters. By now, Word should recognize Gibby as a word…

Aww, a family reunion…

Gibby, I think we already established that 2 seasons ago… Spencer is Carly’s BROTHER!!

“You deserved that.” He totally did.

Wait… Spencer suited up?

Lawyers don’t run… Unless you’re Marshall Ericksen.

Spencer set an icecream truck on fire? I didn’t think it was possible…

Spencer, I think you would have learned by now. You and electronics of any kind DO NOT MATCH!!

»Scene 2 – Shays’ apartment«

Sam and Freddie just entered…

Oh, Spencer’s puppy dog eyes… It won’t work…

Ms. Carly Shay’s timing is amazing!!

“Junior fighter Carly Shay?”

Spencer sends the kids running, and calls them weenies.

“Some people are just born with the Weenie gene.” Oh, is it like the ATA gene, that allows Tau’ri to control Ancient, or Lantean, technology? Don’t know what I’m talking about? It’s Stargate, look it up.

“Carly, sometimes in life…” “I know, a man and a woman fall in love and they get special feelings…” Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there, because that’s not what Spencer wants to say.

Spencer looks kind of disgusted…

Unfortunately Coronel Steven Shay can’t come home right now…

»Scene 3 – Prepping the iCarly studio for a live webcast«

Gibby’s true identity revealed? No, that Japanese guy is called Don.

“See ya at the club.” “Later, Gib.”

Carly’s still upset that her dad’s not coming home for his birthday…

“She won’t be upset when… SHUT UP, SHE’S WALKING IN!!” Smooth, Gibby, smooth…

Starting the webcast.

Carly’s visibly upset, and that’s impacting the show in a negative way…

Okay, Sam just revealed that they have a surprise for Carly.

A Birthday iParty? How does that work?

A live webchat to a secure USAF base… Let’s see Freddie break some state and federal laws.

And this looks like Skype, doesn’t it?

But the image is scrambled due to the nature of the secure connection…

“Hey, dad!” “I’m a lawyer!” No, you’re not, Spencer…

Here’s a question: why does it spell “Colonel” when you CLEARLY read Coronel?

Carly’s a snug bug…

A small chat over the Internet with their dad. Almost feels like he’s there…

“Okay, Colonel Shay, get excited ‘cause it’s time for…“ a song, a plane-shaped cake and the American flag!

“Happy birthday Colonel Shay.
Today’s the day that you were born.
We wish that you could be here with us
‘Cause if you were, we would give you a hug.
We bought a cake-shaped fighter plane
And… paid for with your credit card!

When Spencer “lights the candles”, Freddie’s already out of the splash zone…

“Nice work, Spencer…”

A few heartfelt words from the youngest Shay… I honestly thought she was going to cry…

Now, a word of advice from a world-renowned scientist: me.

Whenever there is a substance that has found its way to the highest point of a division, say, a ceiling, never, EVER, under any circumstances, ask the location of the substance. Those who do are fated to have the substance fall on their face.

»Scene 4 – 8th floor hallway«

The iCarlies have just arrived from school, I guess. They are carrying backpacks…

A group hug… Ready the “Aw…” machine, Phoebe… Fire! Aw…

Wait, 3 guys in suits… It finally happened! Barney Stinson has moved to Seattle! Or someone reads his blog…

These 3 guys are government-brand bouncers… but I think they wear black ties…

Oh, boy… you guys are in trouble…

»Commercial break«

What are the bouncers looking for?

“Your recent iCarly webcast caught the attention of someone very high up in the US government…” That’s good, right? The more people watch iCarly, the more people will like it and refer it to their friends.

Any more trouble?

“Don’t leave town…” I get that a lot… Not really, but still…

»Scene 5 – Rigdeway high«

Carly and Freddie are always looking over their shoulders…

I must admit, I love Sam in that hair… I love Jennette in any hairdo, but I really like her with that hair on…

She got wigs? Why? And passports? What are you planning, Puckett?

She wants to go to Amsterdam? Personally, I think Panama would be best… no extraditation agreements. How do I know this? WAY too much Prison Break.

Ahh! The government-brand bouncers are back!!

Am I supposed to be surprised that Sam knows this procedure by heart?

»Meanwhile, thousands of miles away…«

As the bouncers arrive at Bushwell Plaza’s 8th floor, the kids get scared…

“We’re just simple children of the internet…”

18 engagement rings? It’s Pam, I shouldn’t be surprised, but STILL…

Someone high in the US government hierarchy. Even higher than the President… I guess that proves that behind a great man, there’s always a great woman… Phoebe’s behind me, she made me write this.

It’s… It’s the… It’s the First Lady of the United States of America! *fake surprise gasp* I never even saw that coming!

Spencer is describing to the First Lady the events of iScream in Holloween…

“My mom voted for your husband…”

It’s amazing how out-of-tune T-Bo is… He sees the First Lady and all he does is try to flirt with her…

Oh, he just saw who she is…

“Your Excellency…”
“You don’t call her your excellency…”
“No, no, I kinda like it.”

“Her husband is the President…” Really, Spencer?

Who’s the lady on the right? I think I’ve seen her before…

Did Sam just interrupt the First Lady?

Samantha Puckett has problems with authority…

And T-Bo interrupts again. By now, the real Secret Service agents aka the government-brand bouncers would have kicked T-Bo’s butt to next year.

Now, I know that the First Lady Michelle Obama is not a professional actress, but this reaction is just, well, not good.

»iCarly webcast, upstairs«

The First Lady of the United States of America is playing a game which is hard to play, and the rules are not clear…

3 points for Mrs. Obama.

Of course, even iCarly advertises.

Now’s the time for a nice surprise… Some say that he has some terrible plans involving the moon, and where ever you are in the world if you tune your radios to 88.4 FM, you can actually hear his thoughts. All we know is, he’s Dan Schneider.

Dan’s first iCarly cameo. It’s ‘bout time he made one.

Random Presidential Dancing!! Even Dan joins in!

This episode was very funny, Dan’s cameo was unexpected… And the epic First Lady part was awesome.

But, this review has some political implications. And here it is:

In Soviet Union, review reads you.

Have a good night.

iStill Psycho review

I’m bringing reviews back, you other reviewers don’t know how to write…

The following review is sponsored by the good people over at Review Sponsorers.

Here’s to a new year, filled with iCarly, Seddie, and hot chicks!

Now, this episode is called iStill Psycho.

»Scene 1 – iCarly studio – Live«

Miss Idiot Farm Girl has a bag of peanuts for the moustache of the Cowboy. And she thinks that the Cowboy’s moustache is a squirrel… I wonder where I’ve seen that… But truth is, that is one of the segments that the fans love the most.

And who’s this guy Spencer’s trying to portray?

It’s the Idiot Farm Girl’s Brother! And he hits the Cowboy’s moustache… That has got to hurt.

Writer’s block. Happens to the best of us, but it shouldn’t.

And the show ends with a crash…

The gang got demselves an ae-mail… From Olympia? If my geography is correct, it’s in Washington…

“To Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Fredward Benson and Orenthal Gibson”. So Gibby’s full name is Orenthal Cornelius “Gibby” Gibson…

So basically, the gang will be allowed to express their opinion on Nora’s case… You should be grateful, kids. Uncle Sam doesn’t often grant this opportunity to the citizens of the US. And I think that because of this, all international airports will be on the lookout for me to stop me from going to the States.

And Sam proceeds to hurt Freddie to get the pudding. All is write with the world…

»Title Credits»

»Scene 2 –Shays’ living room«

True to his word, Spencer is soaking his feet in milk…

They have to go to Olympia and make sure that crazy… Oh look! Phoebe, come here! I live here for about 2 years and I never noticed that through this window, we could see the beach… *looks at camera suggestively* See what I did there?

Sam’s up to letting Nora go, and Freddie’s defending her… Can I get a “Aw”?

Again, the cast of “Full House” is mentioned… That’s a total of a few times. I think we’re gonna get a guest star from a cast member of that show.

And out comes T-Bo… And he’s… Oh, Dan, I never thought you’d give me the chance to say this here but, T-Bo’s suiting up!!

Mr. Orenthal has arrived…

A Gibby, holding a Gibby? I feel a paradox trying to happen…

And we get another of Freddie’s Spanish rants.

Gibby did a diaper commercial? Fangirls, attack!

Gibby’s forgiving… and he likes Chinese food…

“I love that new head smell…”

»Scene 3 – Same location«

Spencer has a woman in his house… And she sounds British…

Dog toothpaste? I admit, his logic is somewhat reasonable, but come on!

Darn, Spencer’s pre-make-out talk is amazing… I should use that…

T-Bo, I bought a box of sense of opportunity last year, but I think you should take it…

Oh, her name is Cassie… Europe wrote a song about a girl named Cassie.

Yeah, T-Bo, it’s dog toothpaste…

»Scene 4 – Washington State Women’s Penitentiary«

The building seems kinda big for a jail…

There’s a court hearing to decide Nora’s fate. She will either be released or will rot in her cell…

Nora goes into victim mode with this tear-inducing speech about how sorry she is and how she deserves to be locked up…

And Gibby pulls out his fake head.

There are so many things about this speech that can be said… But I recall none.

Good choice of words, judge. “A choice to speak.” The key word here being ‘choice’.

Wha?? It’s not Carlyish to give up so soon, Carly!

»»End of ACT ONE««


»Scene 5 – Same location«

“Nora Dirschlitt, trapping the stars of a webshow in your basement is a serious crime.” And as stated in the Penal, I mean, Criminal Law, such crime is punished by being away for a number of episodes.

Nora has been released, and her parents have a Special Norwegian supper for her. And her father wants to go camping alone, that night. That’s parenting, kids…

Is it me, or does Nora have a cold?

Carly, the thing that sets you apart from the pack is the your ability to be turned around by just a few words…

And Sam stole the guard’s taser…

»Scene 6 – Shay’s apartment«

Cassie got Spencer a new game…

And again T-Bo interrupts Spencer’s attempt at making out.


Mrs. Benson has to go to her sister’s because she had a problem with a shampoo she was allergic to…

Spencer, sometimes you can be SO thick-headed…

»Scene 7 – Nora’s house«

“This is where I belong, back in the bosom of my youth…”
“I know.”

Norwegian foods… That includes a bunch of stuff which name I really can’t pronounce…

»Meanwhile, at the Bensons’ living room«

Spencer, T-Bo and Cassie are playing a zombie game…

… and then Mrs. Benson shows up.

“Ryan Seacrest!”

Please note that Mrs. Benson has pictures of little Freddie, and by little Freddie, I mean little Nathan. I shall post them if and only if Nathan Kress allows me to.

Publish photos if Nathan allows.

»Meanwhile, in Nora’s house…«

Freddie asks about the cream and it is revealed to be made from pig’s milk… Bad move, Benson…

Spencer arrives and really has to go to the bathroom.

“Well, Nora, thanks so much for the awesome Norwegian supper.”
“Yeah, I guess I’ve had worse dinners…” I wonder what this look means…

So, quite basically, Nora and her mom set the kids up…

“Wheel of Spencer!” I wanna play it! I wonder what are the prizes…

»»End of ACT TWO««


»Scene 8 – Nora’s house«

Spencer is still spinning…

…and now he’s not.

“You’re a nut case!”
“The proper term is ‘disturbed lonely sociopath’”.

And there’s another chicken…

So, a not-so-Sweet-16 party is the cause for all of this?

There are more party guests?

Sam must apologize to a chicken…

Oh, Gibby… Sometimes I worry for your health…

What’s up with the Autons? Are they controlled by the Nestene Consciousness?

A party that lasts forever… Tempting, very tempting… Even more so if there are girls there… hot, preferably.

She put on a song! Oh, she’s evil…

»Meanwhile, thousands of miles away…«

Nora’s texting Freddie’s mom and removing all traces of the gangs’ phones…

The return of the ButterSock…

Gibby’s idiotic suggestion spawns an idea… And I get more worried about his health…

Sending a Gibby up the chimney? Will that work?

Nora and her mom bring the cake and Nora kisses Freddie… I just wonder why didn’t Sam buttersock her…

»Meanwhile, at the Benson home«

Mrs. Benson is kicking T-Bo out.

Freddie’s male role model is Tony Danza?

Teebs just had an idea… Wait for it… He can’t be kicked out! He still has the lease.

And a restraining order that prevents him to be within 100 yards from Portia Sweet… I never understood how those worked…

And the lease is no longer valid, due to it being shredded.

»Meanwhile, in Nora’s house…«

Nora is kissing Freddie, and Sam and Carly are eating cake…

“It’s really good cake…”

And Gibby finally climbed the chimney and proved me wrong. But he’s stuck.

Gibby’s napping, but people don’t get their head pulled out when they nap…

“Where is the real Gibby?” Well, did you check under the sink? I mean, a Gibby’s not hard to find…

“Here, Gibby, Gibby, Gibby…”

»»End of ACT THREE««


Some time has passed, as is indicated by the sunlight and the sprinklers…

The gang is asleep… but when Carly wakes up she breaks the arm of an Auton…

“Sam, Sam, Sam…” No response. “Fried chicken” Sam jolts awake. Carly has taken a page from my mom’s book….

“Aw, look at Freddie…” Carly, don’t!

“Boys are just so cute when they’re asleep…” I wonder if… nah…

And Sam wakes him up… If you place your Seddie Goggles in your eyes, you’ll notice this: Carly said Freddie is cute when he’s asleep, so Sam wakes him up so that Carly won’t think that he’s cute… Got it? *classic understanding “Ah!” *

If you saw Inception, you’ll know that Sam just administered Freddie a kick. If you didn’t, watch it. It’s a freaking good movie!

And Freddie was dreaming of the show, as exemplified by the “5, 4, 3, 2, what happened?”

Have faith in Gibby. That’s friendship at work… Or something else…

While this happens, a Gibby is stuck in the chimney. And he snores…

There’s something about Nora that reminds me of GLaDOS from the Portal video game series. Yeah, the same one that hacked my blog last year.

“… that will go on forever, and ever, and ever, and ever…” This reminds me of 2 things: first, the movie The Mummy, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, when the people are saying “Imhotep, Imhotep, Imhotep…” The other is the moment from Date Movie where all the characters are all having dinner and all of a sudden burst into song saying “…and he loves you, forever and ever you’ll never break-up, divorce will cost you… ” Yeah, I watch a lot of movies, maybe I should become a movie critic…

The Gibster has his own fanbase!

And Spencer keeps spinning, spinning…

Thanks to Sam’s misdirection, the gang gets a few moments alone…

“The chip!” He reacts quite naturally to the chip. If my mom did that to me, I’d ask to be emancipated… like he once did. Emancipate means to divorce one’s parents.

Samantha Joy Puckett, you always have a trick on your sleeve.

“Carly cares about me.” Does she now?

»Meanwhile, at the Benson home«

Mrs. Benson is cleaning the couch. An average Tuesday…

T-Bo shows up to return the key, and while he’s talking to her, the distress signal is received by the receiver. (DUH!)

But he must get the Jamaican shampoo bottle first, man…

»Meanwhile, in Nora’s house…«

Pin the tail?

And the “forever, and ever, and ever, and ever…” starts again… this time to be interrupted by T-Bo and Mrs. Benson on a motorcycle.


Dayum, Sam has some moves!!

T-Bo kicks the door open and Carly goes downstairs to free her brother…

Freddie protects Sam from Nora and Nora’s mom’s fire irons… And Mrs. Benson remembers her days as a Fencin’ Benson…

Now, for a fight sequence that will surely be extended on the DVD version!

The fight is now over. Sam knocks the Dirshlitts with the almighty shock pen. And Spencer throws up on Carly’s shoulder.

Mrs. Benson has kicked T-Bo out but she’s kicking him back in. Ah, the status quo…

Obedient chicken… only on iCarly…


Now, Nora, how does it feel to be on the receiving end of the “’Forever and ever and ever’ repeated ad nauseam”?

»Scene 9 – Shays apartment«

Spencer is watching a movie when he receives a phone call.

Apparently, the events with Nora qualify as news…

But, Carly wakes up screaming for Gibby… who is still on the chimney…

And this concludes the iStill Psycho review… All in all, it allowed us to have a good time and to start 2012 in a great mood…

Stay tuned for the next few weeks, when more iCarly episodes will hit your screens!

Until then, enjoy 2012! 2013 comes right after it.


At ease, soldiers.

We have received intel that the next iCarly episode will premiere on January 16th. This episode marks a special occasion, because the FLOTUS will be there, which means that every available soldier must ensure that the FLOTUS is safe. We were given 2 Secret Service agents to aid us.

The intel comes from our friends over at, so you know it’s good intel.

This is the intel that we received, and it’s need-to-know only:

If this intel leaves this briefing room, please give us credit.


Disco Stu Will Review iQ

You said it, Stu!

This week’s iCarly episode, the first after the Seddie arc, is called iQ. FYI, my iQ is 110. At least, it was when I last applied for MENSA…

As you might know, Seddie broke up in the last episode, but then, there was something… So, I’ll analyze their interactions with each other.

Let the review begin!

The episode begins with the iCarly gang having fun on the Groovy Smoothie.

Carly and Sam are laughing at something Freddie doesn’t find very amusing…

Apparently, Freddie’s mom lost US$ 20,000 on chickens. Sorry, one chicken and one rooster. I am so glad he said “rooster”.

Breeding chickens is the easiest thing to do! You put them in the same chicken coot together, then you… like… turn the chicken coot lights down…

“I’m sorry your mom lost 20 thousand… bdoing.” ‘Bdoing’ can be understood as something else.

A guy who the girls consider hot just entered the GS. GS stands for Groovy Smoothie, not Gold and Silver.

She proceeds to talk to him and a very badly engineered play, the “Text in the Turned-Off Phone”.

Then we see this:

This is the first of many pics that I will share with you today. Seddiemania gave me the idea of watching every interaction between Sam and Freddie and analyze their microexpressions, body language, and stuff like that. Well here, I bring you the “It looks like I’m looking at Freddie but in reality I’m actually looking at Carly and see how she acts around this new guy” look. Certainly, it will get better.

Does this guy speak in code or something? Oh,he’s british… Wait, he’s british? *Chuckles* Fangirls, attack!

I think I can speak british too. Lift, taxi, apartment, colour, fish and chips, God save the Queen, fanny, harpoon!

Since most of you will not understand this new guy, due to him being super smart, I’ll translate what he says.

“Ah, Carly! The name of the comely vixen who assuages king Thurman`s cohort after the demise of his corpulent mother.”
This means “Carly, that’s the name of the woman who calmed king Thurman’s soldiers after his mother’s death.”

“iCarly? I think I’ve heard of it.” What, you don’t ‘ave Internet in London, mate?

“Teenage satire?” Can’t say I’ve ever heard that.

“You do teenage satire with a piquant wit?”
Translation: “You make fun of teenage stuff with a salty language.”

“You have nice eyes.”
“They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.”
“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend so, why don’t you open up a window?” That’s like the LAMEST line I’ve ever heard.

T-Bo is having some problems with a guy in a suit. Oh, a health inspector. How’s he bothering you, Teebs?

T-Bo’s been evicted! Where’s he gonna live?

The guy Carly’s after is named Kyle.

He just said something, but all I heard was “I haven’t watched iCarly yet, but, when I get home… website…”

“You know, I haven`t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to ingurgitate your website voraciously.”
Translation: “I haven’t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to gulp your website.”

»Title Credits«

»Scene 1: Bushwell Plaza, Shay loft«

Spencer’s cracking a safe. I should try that one day…

I used to do that in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. One of the best games I’ve ever played.

The junkyard. We really should see that.

T-Bo slept in a pond?

Whoa, that’s a big fork.

“We like it when your mom cries.” Oh, Sammy…

Then, the impossible happens. Spencer has a great idea. Mrs. Benson can rent the room to T-Bo.

Carly’s got a text on her phone.

This is a real question, to which I want a real answer: Do girls really take about 4 hours to get ready?

It’s like the old saying goes: If at first you don’t succeed in opening the safe, you cut it with a chainsaw.

»Scene 2: Premiere Theater«

It’s the Premiere Theater! Dan must have flown it from San Diego!

Carly and Kyle went watching a foreign movie, I’m sorry, a film called “Ick Glokmah” which is foreign for Foreign Film. Yeah, I can speak foreign.

Unfortunately, my foreign skills aren’t too good, so I can’t understand what the people in that film are saying.

“Great film!”
“You enjoyed the first half?” What is this a soccer game?

“This is an intermission. There’s 2 more hours to go.” Kyle, a word of advice, if I may. Say “break.”

You gotta love the boy’s enthusiasm. Look at it:

Carly has a lot of je-ne-sais-quoi. I don’t think she knows what that is…

“I like you… categorically.” Okay, how should I translate this… I actually don’t know!

Kyle had an obtuse ex-girlfriend who didn’t have the mental ability to enjoy a foreign film called “Foreign Film”. I think it’s better than that movie with the goat and the balloon…

“Oh, you are jocular!” She is, isn’t she? *whispers to Phoebe and Steve* What does jocular mean?

“I’ll fetch us a beverage from the concessionary.”
Translation: “I’ll get us some drinks from the lobby.”

Carly was too distracted with what he said she didn’t notice him leaning in to kiss her.

“Aw…” and reality kicks in. “2 more hours?”

»Meanwhile, at the Groovy Smoothie«

Sam and Freddie just gave the news to T-Bo that his wife’s having a baby. Just kidding. They just told him that Mrs. Benson has a spare bedroom that’s for rent.

You’d think it’d be awkward Sam and Freddie hanging out alone without Carly. Nope, we ALL thought that.

Here’s Gibby. I don’t recall seeing him again in this episode…

They need to change T-Bo into Mr. Terrence Bo. Hard task.

»Scene 4: Shay apartment«

Spencer’s STILL trying to open the safe. He’s not having that much luck. While Carly arrives home with Kyle in tow. I’ve always wanted to say that…

The safe destroyed a chainsaw blade? Go, safe!

“You know, that safe is probably made of carbonized iron.” Saying ‘steel’ is too lame, corny, cliché, whatever. He said ‘carbonized iron’, which makes it better, even though they are exactly the same thing. Well, they aren’t the same thing, it depends on the level of carbon included in the iron…

It’s always about the molecular structure, isn’t it, Kyle?

Kyle, another word of advice. There’s being polite, and there’s making out with a girl. These aren’t mutually exclusive, but being too polite and making out with a girl are. Besides, you only stayed in for about 2 minutes.

Carly’s clear hint amazes me. But Kyle’s obliviousness amazes me even more. Yes, I said obliviousness. Yes, I know it doesn’t really apply here.

“The socio-political implications of the film we saw earlier.”
Translation: Unknown.

Kyle isn’t all you hoped for, eh, Carly?

“…and I need a pretty boyfriend!” *Clears throat to draw attention to himself then points at himself* Get the hint, Carly? I’m lonely and available.

“My nose is bleeding. Weird, huh?” Come on, Spencer, don’t you know the meaning of subtlety?

“Oh, all right, just make sure to tilt his head 15 degrees and maintain pressure on his septum so the blood coagulates.” That is actually good advice…

Now, who studies for a date?


Hi, I’m RobSp1derp1g with and an important message for all iCarly fans.

All reviewers are professional fans. The reviews we write on the blog take years to perfect and do safely.

I urge all iCarly fans not to copy what we do here, at home or at school.

Stay safe. Don’t try this.

»Scene 5: iCarly Studio«

Carly’s studying for her date, Freddie’s preparing the webshow and Sam’s flirting with the big fork.

Freddie asks Sam to help him with a camera check. She denies. Then he asks Carly. She says she’s studying for a date. It’s not something you hear every day.

Learning about boring Russian films and Mandarin Chinese can be fun.

“Wo bu ja dao” Are you having a seizure, Carly?

Snowman Gibby reporting for duty. The amount of times I’ve written Gibby on Microsoft Word  is so big, Word should have looked it up.

Who said purple is out of style? We’re Seddiers, we have purple lenses in our eyes. And this is an example of such lenses:

Purple PearBook and PearPad. Sam and Freddie wearing red and blue. ‘Nuff said.

Sam has the idea of cheating on a date. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

“You’ll be as smart as the Internet.”
“The Internet is pretty smart.”

The iCarly webshow commences. With a big fork.

»Scene 6: Bushwell Plaza, Apartment 8C (It’s easier this way)«

Carly’s set up for her date with Google, I mean Kyle. And Spencer’s still trying to open the safe, this time with a blowtorch.

Notes about foreign language. Noted. (smart pun, huh?)

“I gotta keep my fork shiny and lubed in case a meal breaks out.” I get the shiny part, but lubed?

T-Bo arrives for his makeover with some baked artichokes on a stick. It wouldn’t be T-Bo if he didn’t.

“I’m already wearing my fancy underpants…” Huh, okay?

There is such a thing as date bread…

Carly, that’s a danger, leaving Spencer unsupervised while he plays with fire…

Before opening the door, Carly shakes herself.

“Do I detect the aroma of a mélange of epicurean delights?”
Translation: “Do I smell a mixture of pleasurable delights?”

“Ablute” meaning wash up. He wants to wash up

»Meanwhile, upstairs in the iCarly studio«

Sam, Freddie and Gibby take T-Bo to Overhaulin.

And T-Bo’s been Overhauled!

Did Gibby become a taylor?

»Meanwhile, downstairs«

Kyle and Carly are happily dining.

“Ambrosial” means extremely pleasant to the taste.

A note, Carly. If you want to point out random facts during dinner, make sure you know them beforehand.

You don’t know the statue’s name, do you?

Hard cut to…

»8th floor hallway«

Freddie and Terrence arrive at the Benson apartment for the interview.

We are shown the Benson’s living room. This is a unique opportunity to analyze it and get to know what’s beneath Mrs. Benson’s habits. We may never get this chance again. I don’t want to do it right now.

Terrence has lots of time, but he must be on church at 9 PM. He’s part of the choir. Seriously now, I used to go to church on a Saturday night. It allowed me to sleep in on Sundays…

»Meanwhile, next door…«

Carly knows something that Kyle doesn’t? It’s a sign of the apocalypse!! Call the fire department! The Earth’s gonna explode!!

Carly, how could you tape cheat notes to the bottom of your plate? Use the table, it’s easier…

I facepalmed when I saw this:

“Rusha”, “Square, all sides r equal”, 2+2, triangle. All of that for what?

He tries to leave, and she says “I don’t lie while I’m kissing!” Reminds me of an similar situation on American Pie…

All of this while Sam watches. Personally, I think that’s not well done.

»Scene 7«

Spencer’s attaching something to the safe, and Sam’s trying to get Carly to feel better. She even gives her her big fork back. Why? She got another, bigger fork.

T-Bo’s now the neighbor of Carly Shay.

Spencer attached C4 explosives to the safe? Courtesy of Boomer, Socko’s cousin.

And inside the safe is, another safe!! This one is easier to crack.

And that concludes my iQ review. Hope you guys liked it! Please comment.


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