Category Archives: EN

iGoodbye Review

RobSp1derp1g, blogger, inventor, deep-thinker. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strenght that all humans have. Then, an accidental overdose of Internet memes alters his body chemistry. And now, whenever RobSp1derp1g grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs.

“Ow! I’m angry for no reason whatsoever!”

The creature is driven by rage and pursued by an investigative reporter.

“Mr. Griffin, don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

The creature is wanted for a murder he didn’t commit. RobSp1derp1g is believed to be dead. And he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.

And so we come to this, the last iCarly: iGoodbye.

I will admit, these words are hard to write. Not because iCarly is ending (well, a little because iCarly is ending), but because I have MASSIVE writer’s block. But enough with the sad stuff. If we’re gonna go out, we might as well go out in a blaze of glory!

Shall we get this started?

»Scene 1 – Ridgeway High«

So far, nothing points that this is the last iCarly episode. How could it, it just started…

Carly is by her locker when Sam approaches with a piece of wood with a bunch of nails. It can be used for a multitude of things, though the main use is the scratching of backs, while tearing clothes apart. And Carly’s not Sam’s first visit, as Freddie will now demonstrate.

Freddie’s “phone” is ringing. That’s no phone, that’s a chocolate bar! You thought I was gonna say space station, didn’t you? All joking aside, my brother has a smaller version of that phone.

That phone has a dual-quad-core processor? Can you run… let me think of a game… Oh, Assassin’s Creed 3 on it?

So, it’s a Samsun Gemini MaxPad. The name makes it sound like a high-tech version of women’s hygiene product…

Gibby is right to laugh…

Apparently, Col. Steven Shay can’t take his daughter to a militar-endorsed dance.

“Big phone…”

By now, you should have somehow realized that there are references aplenty to iCarly’s first episode, iPilot.

»Opening Credits«

The last iCarly’s opening credits. These ones have been especially tuned to show you how the kids have grown, how far they’ve come.

»Scene 2 – Bushwell Plaza – Shays’ Apartment«

Spencer is fixing a motorcycle. A particular detail about this motorcycle is that it was not designed to be ridden while playing children’s card games!

Does Mama know her bikes?

Of course, it had to be for Socko’s cousin, Ryder. I wonder if we’ll ever see Socko…

Audrey? Spencer’s girlfriend of the episode?

Gibby’s line here does not surprise me at all. But I do wonder why he has a lamp on his hand…

1 - Oh Gibby

Only Gibby would see an exercise machine in a motorcycle.

Lucky Spencer! He got himself a date with one of his exes. But he didn’t run over this one.

“Audrey, the most important girlfriend I’ve ever had. The only girl I’ve ever… really been in love with.” Cue Gibby’s ‘aw’.

2 - Aw
Spencer’s meeting Audrey at the airport. In times like these, it is wise to remember the words of famous TV psychologists such as, Dr. Lance Sweets and Dr. Kevin Venkataraghavan. In a nutshell, they said that when you are reunited with someone from your past after a long period of time, you will inevitably start acting as you did when you were around that person. This theory has been proven LOTS OF TIMES.

“Hey, where’s the teenage girl that actually lives here?” Keen perception, Spencer! I don’t know.

Gib, Sam was talking! Come on!

I don’t know what to say to Gibby’s response…

Gibby wants a new head. I think a new head won’t solve his problem…

Jewish action figures?

For some reason, I think that Sam’s interest in the bike is unnatural…

»Meanwhile, at the Groovy Smoothie«

Carly is busy looking at her pear-shaped phone with a sad look on her face.

T-Bo’s a good listener…

»Scene 3 – Back at Bushwell Plaza«

Sam and Spencer is helping Spencer with the bike.

And Spencer is telling Sam how he met their mother. Sorry, how he met Audrey.

Icky girl named Velma who smelled like cheese.

“I’d love to date a guy who smelled like cheese…” Excuse me for a moment, guys. Phoebe, I want you to order 30 cans of cheese spray. I want them yesterday.

Lewbert, it’s been too long!

Spencer’s been exposed!! Kill the germ! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!

What? It’s the wrong choke knob?

Don’t give up, Spencer. “Show me that Spencer smile.”

3 - Spencer smile

… I don’t know what to say…

Hey, look! Carly has arrived!

“Dadless?” Col. Shay isn’t dead, he’s just busy…

Ah… So that’s why she’s upset…

“Look who’s getting all elderly?” I have the PERFECT image for this line, hang on.

Arthritis-Five

And so, Spencer takes the proverbial bullet for his younger sister, by ditching on his old girlfriend… Now that’s love… or a screenplay, one or the other…

Spencer’s taking Carly to the Father-Daughter Dance… we haven’t seen the last of this…

Come on, Lewbert, that’s just mean…

»Commercial Break«

»Scene 4 – Shays’ apartment«

The references to the show itself keep popping up, now it’s the song from iGet Pranky, “The Joke Is On You”.

Carly left home in her PJs. I’ve heard legends, myths, if you will, of things worse than that…

Spencer’s sick. I’m not saying it was Lewbert, but it was Lewbert.

And to fight the fever, a prolonged stay at a place called FreezingRefrigeratorheim. It feels better than you’d think, though it is highly discouraged by most doctors.

Tuna casserole for breakfast? I’ve definitely seen worse…

»Scene 5 – Green Meadow Mall«

For some reason, I love the name.

Dan Schneider, a master of subtlety, decided to stop trying. Just look at the names of the stores… Get-a-head, Just In Case… I was expecting something, more thought-provoking…

Freddie’s brick is immediately recognized by the shopkeep (yeah, I said shopkeep) of Get-a-head.

“She must hate you.”

They sell Penny-Ts at Green Meadow Mall… It’s supposed to be near Chicago… I’m sorry, Seattle. I’ve no idea why I wrote Chicago.

Gibby wants a replica of his head. In the Mission Impossible series, this would be done by taking pictures of the head of the Gibby and create a replica out of a material which name I cannot recall at this time. Basically, at Get-A-Head, they do the same thing, but they require the Gibby to lie perfectly still for 2 hours…

“Cabeza duplicada.”

And here is one of iCarly’s greatest mysteries: Freddie’s Spanish ramblings… And as soon as he starts to explain, is interrupted by the shopkeep at Get-A-Head.

Why would anyone bring a weasel to their workplace?

“Dude, go easy on the weasy…” I think now’s the perfect time to add a Ron Weasley joke. Can’t think of any…

Gibby’s an animal lover. *rolls eyes* That came out wrong…

Good luck finding a case for your brick, Freddie.

»Scene 6 – Shays’ Apartment«

Spencer is on the couch, sick with Lewbert germs.

Everyone knows that the cure to the flu is to lift your shirt up.

Sam got herself a Tub o’Chicken.

Meekalito is calling Spencer. Don’t know who Meekalito is? He’s Dan in a costume.

BTW, Spencer doesn’t understand the concept of bargaining or negotiation… He’d be an amazing hostage negotiator… You can tell by the look on your face that I’m joking…

»Scene 7 – Just in Case, the kiosk«

That’s not a phone case…

The only case that fits the brick is a man-purse.  (Attention, the link is NOT SAFE FOR WORK! Okay, it contains the word “F***in’, as in ‘kidding me’”)

“Don’t you think it looks kinda feminine?” No!! What kind of idea is that, Freddie? Indiana Jones wore one! (But yeah, it does look kinda feminine…)

It is perfect for the MaxPad (which still sounds like a women’s hygiene product), but not for Freddie. I mean, what will the fangirls think?

»Scene 7 – Meekalito’s Motorcycle Repair and Rock Shop«

4 - Dan

When I first saw the episode, I didn’t recognize Dan as Meekalito… But then again, he had to make a cameo… It’s tradition…

A choke knob for a ’64 Sterling, coming right up!

“These are my rocks…”

5 - Schneider's Lubricants

Schneider’s lubricants? So that’s why Spencer sets everything on fire!

Now, Sam knows how to negotiate.

And so, she leaves Meekalito talking to his rocks…

»Scene 8 – Get-A-Head«

The head of the Gibby has been fully scanned and now they can begin the replication proper.

There’s Freddie with his new manpurse.

Lookie, lookie, it’s Mrs. Benson and Mrs. Lillien!

Manpurses… also worn by women…

»Meanwhile, at Bushwell Plaza…«

Spencer’s ready for the dance, but he’s still sick. And his temperature is 103…

I’m hot blooded, check it and see.
I got a fever of a hundred and three.
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I’m hot blooded, hot blooded.

Sorry guys, it had to be here.

And Spencer comes crashing down… but still dancing… now, that’s hot blooded!

»Commercial Break«

»Scene 9 – Bushwell Plaza«

Carly and Sam are sitting on the couch eating comfort food.

I don’t know what to say at this segment…

»Meanwhile, at Get-A-Head«

Freddie’s manpurse is ringing. And it’s Sam.

Look, if you please at the following image:

6 - Twothings

There’s Freddie on the left, and Sam on the right. Nothing weird, right?

Look at Freddie, please. Sam just told him she has to talk to him about something important, and Freddie asked her if she wanted to get back together. Direct your attention to his eyebrow. Also, I don’t think this is the last we’ve seen of Seddie… And here’s the funny part: the manpurse, it has one job. Making sure his brick is stolen.

Freddie to the rescue!!

Also, there are people who never saw a Gibby with his head trapped in a glass container.

And the Gibby runs around…

»Scene 10 – the Apartment«

Spencer is feeling better.

Sam fixed the bike?

So much work for nothing?? I demand satisfaction! *glove slap*

And that’s how Sam got her motorcycle. Hopefully, she won’t play any card games on it… That would be stupid.

»Scene 11 – Get-A-Head«

Gibby got a head and a weasel, for free!!

»Scene 12 – The Apartment«

Carly’s, in the words of Mrs. Eriksen, abusing herself. She’s looking at the wallpaper of the Father-Daughter Dance.

Sam took her bike for a test drive… Is she even allowed to drive? Is she old enough? Sam, not Jennette.

There’s a ring on the door…

And I wish I saw Sam’s face on this situation…

7 - Suited up

“Nice…”

And he STILL carries the manpurse…

“Miss Shay…”
“May we escort you to the dance?”

But she breaks into tears…

Seriously, what did they do?

Here’s the big, huge, GINORMOUS reveal of the episode: Here comes Tom Hanks, as foretold by the internet collective consciousness known as Twitter.

8 -A few things wrong with this image:

  1. This isn’t Tom Hanks.
  2. When someone inserts the key in the keyhole, you would hear. Unless you leave the door open, and who’d leave the door open?
  3. Did I mention that man in not Tom Hanks?

If you would allow me, I will post two snippets of Dan’s Fun Facts of this episode.

During the first season of iCarly, I had the basic idea for the very last episode.

I knew I wanted Carly and Spencer’s dad, Colonel Shay, to return, for a special event.  I knew that Carly would be missing her dad terribly, and that he would make a surprise return home.  That’s how I wanted the series to end.

I had this vision of the front door opening, Carly hearing her dad’s voice, turning, breaking into a huge smile, yelling “Dad!” and running into his arms.  I saw that scene in my head back in 2008.  So, it was kind of surreal when we filmed that very scene, in 2012.

Also, this:

And here comes one of the most awesome, magical moments in the history of iCarly.  It gives me chills every time I watch it.  I had this moment in my brain – the return of Carly’s dad, and her reaction – way back in 2008.  And now, it finally happens here.  I wonder if you will feel choked up (in a good way) like I do, every time I watch this moment.

There is a saying that goes: if you can see it in your mind’s eye, you will grasp it in your hands. This right here is an AMAZING example of the power of the Law of Attraction. But this post isn’t about that.

“So, Spencer’s not your dad?” Isn’t it obvious by now, Gibby?

The usual greetings occur.

We have known, for 109 episodes, that Spencer is just a kid in a grown man’s body. Here’s the undeniable evidence.

9 - Spencer

Even Col. Shay agrees with me, that manpurse is incredibly feminine…

»Commercial Break«

»Scene 13 – the Apartment of the Shays«

Crazy hat party occurring. Yet another reference to iPilot.

T-Bo introduces himself to Col. Shay. He asks if T-Bo’s dating Freddie’s mom. T-Bo chokes at the thought.

What? Col. Shay is already leaving? I admit, I know what that is like…

Italy? It’s a dream of mine to go there…

Italian smoothies… They do use gelato.

And what convinced Carly to go to Italy is the thought of Italian guys.

One last iCarly.

Meet Colonel Steven Shay of the USAF. *salutes*

Baby Spencer freaks many people out…

A people’s favorite: “The Cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought That The Cowboy’s Mustache was a Squirrel”.

An iCarly PSA (Public Service Announcement).

Carly is making a See-Ya-Later speech. Somewhere, a Nevel Papperman is looking at this and laughing manically and maybe he’s  spinning his chair in a celebratory fashion…

“I wanna say, to the fans of iCarly, thank you!” No, Carly, thank you!

“I’m Carly.”
“I’m Sam.”
“And this has been iCarly.” No words to describe this.

»Scene 14 – Carly’s Room«

Carly’s packing her clothing to go with her dad.

“We both know I’m a big, tall, goofy man-child.” Good, Spencer, the first step is admitting it.

“Being a grownup doesn’t mean you have to stop being silly and creative and fun.” Totally agreed…

»Scene 15 – Former iCarly Studio«

I want you to see this. Not for what it looks like, but for what it really is.

Freddie is packing up his high tech stuff.

10 - Body language

This is not the body language that precedes a romantic kiss.

But, perhaps more important, is this:

11 - John Hughes

This, my friends, is a reference to Mr. John Hughes. A director, writer, producer who passed away in 2009. But this short video featuring Emma Stone should provide a better insight.

»Downstairs«

The goodbyes. Always a hard part, especially for Jennette.

Gibby is the first one to give in to the tears…

Sam gives Carly the blue remote…

And, aboard an Aloft Airlines Airplane, Carly watches iCarly and sends us all in a trip down Memory Lane.

Freddie remembers how he practically appointed himself iCarly tech producer.

Spencer remembers the video squirrel… which has been on slow burn for 6 years, and only now has caught fire.

Sam remembers eating ham, while talking about iCarly.

In the very end, we see a car with the word iCarly on the license plate. Is that legal?

It’s been a blast doing this for you guys. This blog has done very well, for a small blog, with no previous experience in writing… And I owe it all to you guys. THANK YOU!!

This blog will stay online, I will only post it if I deem necessary.

You’ll still be able to find me on Twitter and on Facebook.

From RobSp1derp1g to you all, see you soon.

iToe Fatcakes Review

The Year 2040

Kids, in Spring 2010 and thanks to your uncle, I saw your mother for the first time. Of course, I didn’t know at the time that she was going to be your mother.

Since then, I became addicted to the show she was in. It was a little show called iCarly. In the show, your mother played a young girl who was an internet sensation and had a love-hate relationship with your uncle Nathan’s character. I first noticed her when, in the show, she entered the Groovy Smoothie, which is sort of a bar, and your uncle Nathan was dancing with aunt Miranda, on-character, of course. Your mother looked sad and about to cry, and my brother, your uncle, said the 3 words that changed my perspective on the show. “She likes him.”

Ever since then, I went online and tried to find the episodes of the show she was on…

“Come on!! Come ON!!!”

I found them, but I also found something else… your mother was a musician and she had this song that left me speechless…

“They’re playing guitar with stars in their eyes on Broadway…”

Her song motivated me to want to come to California. I already wanted to come here, but not for that reason… but more on that later…

Eventually, I created a blog where I would comment on the episodes of the show. It grew in popularity… People liked it. Liked my comments. So I did more. And more. And people literally begged for more.

This is one of those reviews I made.

Welcome to the iToe FatCakes review. If you have not yet seen the episode, you’re most likely wondering about the weird title of this episode. If you have seen it, it makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?

I was thinking I could add a few more lines in this, but I don’t know what kind of lines I might add… so I’ll just start with the review.

»Scene 1 – iCarly webcast live«

A flying Gibby? That’s not safe! Gibbies are not meant to fly!! A Gibby’s natural habitat is in the water!

See? He wants to go to the water, even though there is none.

And while Sam and Carly drag this Gibby to a nearby pond or body of water, Freddie talks to the camera.

Kids, you see that blond girl? That’s your mother…

“And that’s it for iCarly!“ “That’s not it.” Huh? It’s not? What else could there be?

Sam has been clean for 10 whole days!! It’s a 10-day-niversary! I hate myself so much right now…

They invited the Mayor of Seattle! Who refused their invitation… So they invited the fake Mayor, Mayor Mustachio. And this one accepted.

He has a sash? It’s SO official!

Kids, I should tell you, the sash actually had “sash” written on it.

Sam goes 10 days as a good girl and gets a box of raisins… a bag of dog…

Stuff, he said stuff.

… and it’s still warm… and a movie directed by David Schwimmer. Also still warm.

Kids, I should explain. David Schwimmer was an actor who had a few troubles after making some stuff that was not well received by the public.

And a little treat from Carly. This is the thing Sam would kill to have. Probably…

Sam has obtained a ticket that is good for a VIP ticket to the Canadian Fat Cake Factory. They’re illegal in the States. And they’re better than the American Fat Cakes.

Kids, take her word for it. If you don’t, then take mine. I have tasted the Canadian Fat Cakes and I must say: they are unlike anything you might have tried. It tastes like an angel stole that recipe from God himself…

There is one thing. Spencer, we don’t need to know about your mayoral pants… or where they are tight…

»Title Credits«

»Scene 2 – Shay’s apartment«

Gibby is…

Kids, let me explain that. Gibby was a character from the TV show your mother was on. He had been a recurring character with the recurring joke of taking off his shirt. As he grew older, he stopped taking off his shirt. Back to the story.

… bringing a big suitcase with lots of stuff, because he’s going to Canada, which he thinks is not a country. It’s known as “America Junior.” And according to Barney Stinson, their money is a “joke” (to be read with a soft ‘j’)

And Carly has a date with a guy named Lance. Who has a car… By the way, having a car does not necessarily mean he can drive… But the real reason why Carly wants to date Lance is because she’s having withdrawal symptoms…

Boring…

»Shays’ bathroom«

Carly’s taking a nice long bath… with lots of foam… but no water whatsoever.

Kids, it was said I paid a lot of attention to the details on this show… you’ll find out why in a second.

She’s also watching TV! First “America’s Most Wanted” (I get the feeling this will be used in another episode), then “Twinjas” on the Dingo Channel…

Again, I need to explain this, kids. The Dingo Channel was a fictional TV channel that blatantly and shamelessly copied ideas from iCarly. They got socked. Hard. And by “socked”, I actually mean, “socked.” Sam beat the living fudge out of them with a butter sock.

…and Drake and Josh on Nick… Don’t need to explain the joke here, do I?

Yes, I do. Drake and Josh was a predecessor of sorts for iCarly. It was one of The President’s TV series. After she completed Drake and Josh, His Excellency The President Daniel Schneider asked her to star on his new show, iCarly.

She’s also watching “The [REDACTED] Van [REDACTED] Show”, starring [REDACTED] Van [REDACTED]. Again, do I need to explain the joke?

Kids, this time I won’t explain the joke. Google it. Since Google took over the world, searching is much easier with the new Google search app for your brains…

Anyway, Carly saw that lady insert her toe in the faucet and decided to do the same thing. Big mistake. Big laughs…

And see you naked? I know a couple of people who would pay to see that…

Kids, I wasn’t mistaken, but that came out so wrong…

»Scene 2 – Somewhere over the border«

Samantha Puckett has entered Heaven… or at least her vision of Heaven… the Canadian Fatcake Factory…

She looks like she has been hypnotized by all the Fatcakes…

Oh, the Fatcake event… we’ll get to that…

Another of Freddie’s Spanish rants… “Estados Unidos de Gibby…”

An angry Canadian? That’s a defiance of all logic! Canadian people are polite, say “please” and “thank you” and if you hit them by accident, THEY will apologize… I’m right, eh?

“Magicaller?”

Gibby, you should not have done that…

She needs to focus to eat the fatcake.

She even cries… But those are tears of deliciousness…

Meanwhile, Carly’s toe is still stuck in the faucet…

She is trying to pick up her phone through the room… by throwing stuff at her phone so that it would fall on the chair…

Remember when I said that there was no water on Carly’s bath? Here’s the evidence…

See? Dry as a… a… a dry thing… I should start using Milhouse on these too…

Kids, you know Milhouse, so I’ll move on.

She catches her phone, but the phone decides to go for a swim.

“There’s no app for that…”

»Scene 3: Border checkpoint«

Sam just wants to go home… but they have to be examinated by the border guards.

“I know you have a crush on me.”
“What?”
“Nothing…” Spencer, subtle.

Gibby wants to know if Idaho could be its own country… It could, but would probably cause another Civil War. And war is bad…

Wise words, kids. War is bad. WW3 began when the FBI decided to shutdown Megaupload…

Canadian fatcakes? Gibby smuggled one?

Sam is smuggling fatcakes? Oh, she’s bad…

»Commercial break«

Okay, how did Sam manage to carry so many fatcakes? Seriously, that’s like, a lot!

According to the moustached cop, that’s at least 25 kilos. Google tells me it’s 55.1155655 pounds.

Gibby’s giving a dog some juice.

“Dogs really like you.”
“Yeah, dogs and girls with low self-esteem…”

Spencer’s an attorney? He was there for 3 days!

“I DEMAND that Miss Puckett be released on the grounds that… Section C…“

She’s being released…

Sam, don’t do that…

As they pass over the meddling border agent, he meddles with them, and only recognizes Gibby from iCarly, though Sam and Freddie and even Spencer are there…

“You know, I also write a blog about card tricks.” I guess that blog has less hits than… than… Milhouse’s blog! See? See what I did there?

The first president of the USA was, if I’m not mistaken, Abraham Simpson, I mean Lincoln.

Gibby actually thought it was Abraham Franklin…

»Carly’s bathroom«

Carly’s still stuck in the faucet.

And Mrs. Benson is ironing Freddie’s underwear… She hears Carly’s screams and goes to see what’s wrong…

Carly’s wrinkled like an elderly raisin…

“This day cannot get worse…” It just got… worse…

“You bathe in your sweatshirt too?” Mrs. Benson, there’s something very wrong with you.

“Am I hurting you?” No, she’s screaming because she feels like it…

Lance arrives. And Mrs. Benson jumps in to defend Carly… Not that long ago, she was beating her with Freddie’s underwear…

Way to disguise it, Carly…

»At the border…«

“I’d be in serious trouble if she had a parent who cared…” Pam should care about her daughter even if just a bit more…

Sam and Gibby hatched a plan? Awesome.

Gibby doesn’t like fame…

An Asian family took the bag Sam was in! Oh, this is bad…

Spencer, Freddie and Gibby are going back to the States, while Sam goes to God-knows-where…

»Back at the bathroom«

Carly and Lance are on an unusual date. They’re eating Chinese food while Carly is in the bath…

“Your sister’s 18 and she doesn’t have a driver’s license?” What’s wrong with that? I only got my license when I was 21.

And they kiss…

“Just yell if I hit bone!”

And Sam is in Malaysia? How’s she gonna get home? HOW??

All in all, it was a funny episode…

And that pretty much concludes this review…

Have a nice weekend, and keep watching the skies…

The evidence of alien life was brought to light 3 days after I posted this. It was all over the news, all over the world… And yes, I know it’s not related in the slightest, but I really wanted to say that.

Your mother eventually read these, and she laughed her butt off. I knew she was going to be my wife when she laughed…

And now, I’m sleepy. Maybe another day, I’ll tell you the story of how I met your mother…

Disco Stu Will Review iQ

You said it, Stu!

This week’s iCarly episode, the first after the Seddie arc, is called iQ. FYI, my iQ is 110. At least, it was when I last applied for MENSA…

As you might know, Seddie broke up in the last episode, but then, there was something… So, I’ll analyze their interactions with each other.

Let the review begin!

The episode begins with the iCarly gang having fun on the Groovy Smoothie.

Carly and Sam are laughing at something Freddie doesn’t find very amusing…

Apparently, Freddie’s mom lost US$ 20,000 on chickens. Sorry, one chicken and one rooster. I am so glad he said “rooster”.

Breeding chickens is the easiest thing to do! You put them in the same chicken coot together, then you… like… turn the chicken coot lights down…

“I’m sorry your mom lost 20 thousand… bdoing.” ‘Bdoing’ can be understood as something else.

A guy who the girls consider hot just entered the GS. GS stands for Groovy Smoothie, not Gold and Silver.

She proceeds to talk to him and a very badly engineered play, the “Text in the Turned-Off Phone”.

Then we see this:

This is the first of many pics that I will share with you today. Seddiemania gave me the idea of watching every interaction between Sam and Freddie and analyze their microexpressions, body language, and stuff like that. Well here, I bring you the “It looks like I’m looking at Freddie but in reality I’m actually looking at Carly and see how she acts around this new guy” look. Certainly, it will get better.

Does this guy speak in code or something? Oh,he’s british… Wait, he’s british? *Chuckles* Fangirls, attack!

I think I can speak british too. Lift, taxi, apartment, colour, fish and chips, God save the Queen, fanny, harpoon!

Since most of you will not understand this new guy, due to him being super smart, I’ll translate what he says.

“Ah, Carly! The name of the comely vixen who assuages king Thurman`s cohort after the demise of his corpulent mother.”
This means “Carly, that’s the name of the woman who calmed king Thurman’s soldiers after his mother’s death.”

“iCarly? I think I’ve heard of it.” What, you don’t ‘ave Internet in London, mate?

“Teenage satire?” Can’t say I’ve ever heard that.

“You do teenage satire with a piquant wit?”
Translation: “You make fun of teenage stuff with a salty language.”

“You have nice eyes.”
“They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.”
“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend so, why don’t you open up a window?” That’s like the LAMEST line I’ve ever heard.

T-Bo is having some problems with a guy in a suit. Oh, a health inspector. How’s he bothering you, Teebs?

T-Bo’s been evicted! Where’s he gonna live?

The guy Carly’s after is named Kyle.

He just said something, but all I heard was “I haven’t watched iCarly yet, but, when I get home… website…”

“You know, I haven`t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to ingurgitate your website voraciously.”
Translation: “I haven’t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to gulp your website.”

»Title Credits«

»Scene 1: Bushwell Plaza, Shay loft«

Spencer’s cracking a safe. I should try that one day…

I used to do that in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. One of the best games I’ve ever played.

The junkyard. We really should see that.

T-Bo slept in a pond?

Whoa, that’s a big fork.

“We like it when your mom cries.” Oh, Sammy…

Then, the impossible happens. Spencer has a great idea. Mrs. Benson can rent the room to T-Bo.

Carly’s got a text on her phone.

This is a real question, to which I want a real answer: Do girls really take about 4 hours to get ready?

It’s like the old saying goes: If at first you don’t succeed in opening the safe, you cut it with a chainsaw.

»Scene 2: Premiere Theater«

It’s the Premiere Theater! Dan must have flown it from San Diego!

Carly and Kyle went watching a foreign movie, I’m sorry, a film called “Ick Glokmah” which is foreign for Foreign Film. Yeah, I can speak foreign.

Unfortunately, my foreign skills aren’t too good, so I can’t understand what the people in that film are saying.

“Great film!”
“You enjoyed the first half?” What is this a soccer game?

“This is an intermission. There’s 2 more hours to go.” Kyle, a word of advice, if I may. Say “break.”

You gotta love the boy’s enthusiasm. Look at it:

Carly has a lot of je-ne-sais-quoi. I don’t think she knows what that is…

“I like you… categorically.” Okay, how should I translate this… I actually don’t know!

Kyle had an obtuse ex-girlfriend who didn’t have the mental ability to enjoy a foreign film called “Foreign Film”. I think it’s better than that movie with the goat and the balloon…

“Oh, you are jocular!” She is, isn’t she? *whispers to Phoebe and Steve* What does jocular mean?

“I’ll fetch us a beverage from the concessionary.”
Translation: “I’ll get us some drinks from the lobby.”

Carly was too distracted with what he said she didn’t notice him leaning in to kiss her.

“Aw…” and reality kicks in. “2 more hours?”

»Meanwhile, at the Groovy Smoothie«

Sam and Freddie just gave the news to T-Bo that his wife’s having a baby. Just kidding. They just told him that Mrs. Benson has a spare bedroom that’s for rent.

You’d think it’d be awkward Sam and Freddie hanging out alone without Carly. Nope, we ALL thought that.

Here’s Gibby. I don’t recall seeing him again in this episode…

They need to change T-Bo into Mr. Terrence Bo. Hard task.

»Scene 4: Shay apartment«

Spencer’s STILL trying to open the safe. He’s not having that much luck. While Carly arrives home with Kyle in tow. I’ve always wanted to say that…

The safe destroyed a chainsaw blade? Go, safe!

“You know, that safe is probably made of carbonized iron.” Saying ‘steel’ is too lame, corny, cliché, whatever. He said ‘carbonized iron’, which makes it better, even though they are exactly the same thing. Well, they aren’t the same thing, it depends on the level of carbon included in the iron…

It’s always about the molecular structure, isn’t it, Kyle?

Kyle, another word of advice. There’s being polite, and there’s making out with a girl. These aren’t mutually exclusive, but being too polite and making out with a girl are. Besides, you only stayed in for about 2 minutes.

Carly’s clear hint amazes me. But Kyle’s obliviousness amazes me even more. Yes, I said obliviousness. Yes, I know it doesn’t really apply here.

“The socio-political implications of the film we saw earlier.”
Translation: Unknown.

Kyle isn’t all you hoped for, eh, Carly?

“…and I need a pretty boyfriend!” *Clears throat to draw attention to himself then points at himself* Get the hint, Carly? I’m lonely and available.

“My nose is bleeding. Weird, huh?” Come on, Spencer, don’t you know the meaning of subtlety?

“Oh, all right, just make sure to tilt his head 15 degrees and maintain pressure on his septum so the blood coagulates.” That is actually good advice…

Now, who studies for a date?

»Intermission«

Hi, I’m RobSp1derp1g with and an important message for all iCarly fans.

All reviewers are professional fans. The reviews we write on the blog take years to perfect and do safely.

I urge all iCarly fans not to copy what we do here, at home or at school.

Stay safe. Don’t try this.

»Scene 5: iCarly Studio«

Carly’s studying for her date, Freddie’s preparing the webshow and Sam’s flirting with the big fork.

Freddie asks Sam to help him with a camera check. She denies. Then he asks Carly. She says she’s studying for a date. It’s not something you hear every day.

Learning about boring Russian films and Mandarin Chinese can be fun.

“Wo bu ja dao” Are you having a seizure, Carly?

Snowman Gibby reporting for duty. The amount of times I’ve written Gibby on Microsoft Word  is so big, Word should have looked it up.

Who said purple is out of style? We’re Seddiers, we have purple lenses in our eyes. And this is an example of such lenses:

Purple PearBook and PearPad. Sam and Freddie wearing red and blue. ‘Nuff said.

Sam has the idea of cheating on a date. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

“You’ll be as smart as the Internet.”
“The Internet is pretty smart.”

The iCarly webshow commences. With a big fork.

»Scene 6: Bushwell Plaza, Apartment 8C (It’s easier this way)«

Carly’s set up for her date with Google, I mean Kyle. And Spencer’s still trying to open the safe, this time with a blowtorch.

Notes about foreign language. Noted. (smart pun, huh?)

“I gotta keep my fork shiny and lubed in case a meal breaks out.” I get the shiny part, but lubed?

T-Bo arrives for his makeover with some baked artichokes on a stick. It wouldn’t be T-Bo if he didn’t.

“I’m already wearing my fancy underpants…” Huh, okay?

There is such a thing as date bread…

Carly, that’s a danger, leaving Spencer unsupervised while he plays with fire…

Before opening the door, Carly shakes herself.

“Do I detect the aroma of a mélange of epicurean delights?”
Translation: “Do I smell a mixture of pleasurable delights?”

“Ablute” meaning wash up. He wants to wash up

»Meanwhile, upstairs in the iCarly studio«

Sam, Freddie and Gibby take T-Bo to Overhaulin.

And T-Bo’s been Overhauled!

Did Gibby become a taylor?

»Meanwhile, downstairs«

Kyle and Carly are happily dining.

“Ambrosial” means extremely pleasant to the taste.

A note, Carly. If you want to point out random facts during dinner, make sure you know them beforehand.

You don’t know the statue’s name, do you?

Hard cut to…

»8th floor hallway«

Freddie and Terrence arrive at the Benson apartment for the interview.

We are shown the Benson’s living room. This is a unique opportunity to analyze it and get to know what’s beneath Mrs. Benson’s habits. We may never get this chance again. I don’t want to do it right now.

Terrence has lots of time, but he must be on church at 9 PM. He’s part of the choir. Seriously now, I used to go to church on a Saturday night. It allowed me to sleep in on Sundays…

»Meanwhile, next door…«

Carly knows something that Kyle doesn’t? It’s a sign of the apocalypse!! Call the fire department! The Earth’s gonna explode!!

Carly, how could you tape cheat notes to the bottom of your plate? Use the table, it’s easier…

I facepalmed when I saw this:

“Rusha”, “Square, all sides r equal”, 2+2, triangle. All of that for what?

He tries to leave, and she says “I don’t lie while I’m kissing!” Reminds me of an similar situation on American Pie…

All of this while Sam watches. Personally, I think that’s not well done.

»Scene 7«

Spencer’s attaching something to the safe, and Sam’s trying to get Carly to feel better. She even gives her her big fork back. Why? She got another, bigger fork.

T-Bo’s now the neighbor of Carly Shay.

Spencer attached C4 explosives to the safe? Courtesy of Boomer, Socko’s cousin.

And inside the safe is, another safe!! This one is easier to crack.

And that concludes my iQ review. Hope you guys liked it! Please comment.

Am I dead? ‘Cause this seems like heaven…

There is a place where everything is good. Where there is no pain, no harm, and everyone is happy.

Some call it Heaven, some call it Nirvanna (2 n’s), others call it Capeside, Massachusetts.

Its true name is, Seddieland, also known as Seddie Heaven. Located around Seattle, Washington.

Why I say this? Take a look:

This is the official promo for the episode I saw while on the future. And the promo STILL gets to me…

And I’ll be a good friend and over-analyze it, like I did with the iOMG one!

Let’s get to work!

We are shown a part of the iOMG kiss. Then, the drama, so to speak, begins.

“Nothing will prepare you for what happens NEXT!” I disagree. Time travel does.

You can see what happens here, Sam is behind a door with a glass window. This could be the Troubled Waters Mental Hospital.

“This August…” It’s my birthday!!

Mrs. Benson hired a P.I. A so not-unlike-her thing to do. And he’s fully equipped, complete with raincoat, sunglasses and hat.

Freddie’s dating Sam… Oh, and you’re gonna love this:

It’s safe to say that Mrs. Benson doesn’t want Sam and Freddie to be together. But that doesn’t make her a Creddie shipper.

And another thing, or rather, two things:

You can see both Sam and Freddie going in for a kiss. Both Sam and Freddie are okay with it, and we can perceive that the iOMG kiss is no longer a problem at all. Also, Carly’s happy. Not “meh” happy, she’s genuinely happy.

“Are Sam and Freddie in love?”

“Sam loves Freddie! Sam loves Freddie!” This scene seems to me that it is before the previous scene.

“Will Carly keep them together?”

“I’m just supposed to sit here and wait for you guys to have a fight so I can settle it?”
“Pretty much!”
“We’d really appreciate it…” I can’t, for the life of me, do two things. Figure out how they get there, and not laugh when I hear this line…

“And the biggest question of all…” Have I lost my mind?

Lookie here:

Carly has her arms up in the first pic, but she’s not forcing them to kiss… If she was, Sam wouldn’t have her hand on Freddie’s forearm… Think about it.

Coming on August, 2011.

Amazing! Be ready!!

And I said there’d be a HUGE REVELATION on this post. Well, follow my train of thought.

The purple restaurant scene and the one where they are kissing in the kitchen were shot on the first week of production. The Troubled Waters Mental Hospital scenes were shot on the second. This leads me to say that this MIGHT be a 40-minute episode.

RobSp1derp1g out!!

iPity The Nevel review

Hello, and again, welcome to RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews computer-aided blog. We hope the time you spent watching iPity The Nevel has been a pleasant one. The episode has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the review proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all the blog’s posts, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from stop reading this review until it’s finished. If you finish the review, there will be cake. The review will start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

First of all, I’d like to apologize. This episode’s review came a little later than the rest, due to my personal life and iOMG been being announced and all the subsequent speculation that followed.

This episode of iCarly contains vampires, which will give me an unique oportunity to write a lot of vampire jokes, most of them shamelessly copied from Vampires Suck. No copyright infringment intended.

Oh, and one more thing: *Mr. T voice* I pity the fool who isn’t excited to see iOMG Part 2. If anyone was insulted, my apologies.

—————————————-
Location: Shay’s kitchen
—————————————-

Freddie’s sitting at the computer, while Spencer is sitting in the couch, doing something…

Freddie’s editing a mini video for iCarly.com. Oh, my mistake, turns out he’s “Frediting”. I don’t really know what that is. Carly kinda laughs at the joke.

“You really thought that was funny?” “No…” You have to admit, Freddie, that joke was kinda lame.

“What’s Fredly working on?” Well, Fredly’s work… Wait… Fredly?

“Look what I made!” Spencer, calm down, your sister’s talking…

What is an egg shooter? I’m afraid to know the answer.

So, it’s a water gun that was converted to use raw eggs… Neat. Does it work?

I should have foreseen that…

I don’t know if you guys know that TV show “Heroes”, it was about a bunch of people who had extraordinary abilities. Some would fly, some read minds, some controlled the space-time continuum. Well, it turns out that our friend Spencer here has the power of pyrokinesis. Create fire from nothing. Either that or a really cool special effect.

“A perfect Christmas gift”? I’m afraid I didn’t really understand this line.

Here comes Sam, she’s really in a hurry about a video that’s online…

“Going down!” Freddie has crashed…

I was unaware that Spencer knew another Nevel, and he’s a pianist.

“I’m gonna go ride bikes with Socko…” You do that, Spence…

The video is about Nevel. He has yelling at a little girl because she bumped into him and made him brake the last jar of some kind of pickles…

And they celebrate the downfall of Nevel A. Papperman…

—————————————-
Title Sequence
—————————————-

——————————————
Location: iCarly studio, broadcasting live
——————————————

The best way to prove ice is cold is: a) place a Gibby in a bathtub full of ice or b) insert water in the freezer. From then on, it’s a personal choice.

Whoa… Wait a minute. Maybe it’s my polluted mind (as my brother calls it), or does the following line have a double meaning?

Sam: “That proves it.”
Carly: “Ice is very cold.”
Sam: “Cold enough to freeze your Gibbys.”

I think it does…

iCarly premiere time. It’s time for the long-anticipated premiere of… of… *whispers* what’s the film name? Oh, right. Moonlight Twi-blood…

As Sam puts it, a vampire flick nobody needs or wants…

Let’s analyze Moonlight Twi-blood, a more terrible movie than “Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie”.

It’s the Cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought The Cowboy (“Cowboy” is read “Ca-buy”) was a Vampire.

The Idiot Farm Girl wants a vampire as a boyfriend… That’s totally what the girl on Twilight would do…

Introducing Fredward Cullen. He’s “eviler” than Edward Cullen and but still not funnier than Edward Sullen.

Notice the vampire voice. Attention ladies: he’s single! The only downfall is that he’ll stay that age for all eternity. The only thing that doesn’t is… Oh, I won’t say it, kids read this blog.

According to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you have to invite a vampire in order for him to go inside your house.

He pulled out the fangs. Look how pointy his fangs are…

Time for some narration:

“On the cold and dark (and wet) streets of Seattle, an Idiot Farm Girl has invited a vampire to her house… No one should do that. xoxo Gossip Girl”

She really wants him to be her vampire boyfriend… her VBF. ‘Cause that’s what she wants.

To computer experts much like myself, the letters VBF mean something entirely different.

But he can’t… he’s a monster… Come on, Fredward, there’s no need for that kind of low self-esteem… Kinda reminds me, of “You’re the fourth Jonas Brother” “I’m a killer!”

And if he tries to kiss the Idiot Farm Girl, he might bite her neck, you know, in a murderous fashion.

“You’re stupid…”

Time for some more narration:

“While the full moon is up there in the screen, I mean, sky, an evil vampire gang who looks like the Black Eyed Peas is trying to take over the world.” Oh, you know that’s not true, but still…

Fredward Cullen is in a love triangle. Those are always cool!!!

George!! Haven’t seen you in a while, you know, since you were FIRED!

George is fun to be around and he’s great with kids… but, he has a huge flaw that won’t allow him to be with the vampire… he’s a bra.

If every vampire did what Fredward did, there’d be much less victims of vampirism…

The End.

Now we get to see the Nevel video again…

“That’s why America now hates Nevel Papperman” They hated him first because of that awful review about them…

“We were ahead of the curve…”

Contoods!

“Goodnight nurse!”

Here comes the Gibster!

A Karma party is a party where you celebrate the failure and disappointments of your enemies. But remember, Carly, Karma works both ways…

“Just desserts.” This may have been the best applied line of dialog Freddie has ever had until this moment in time. Very good placement and acting…

————————————–
Location: Carly Shay’s Karma Party
————————————–

Welcome to the iCarly Karma Party! You celebrate the failure of Nevel Papperman. We got good tunes, piñatas, darts and the ladies get 1 drink free!

Chicken Karmesan?

Freddie’s been approached by 3 beautiful girls…

Whoa, apparently, Fredward Cullen’s voice makes even the most boring speech seem interesting.

Who’s the redheaded girl? I’ve seen her somewhere. I’m just not sure where that was…

Also, for fun, notice the blond girl.

Karma corn, Karma apples… What’s this?

“To Nevel’s misery!!”

————————————–
Location: Streets of Seattle
————————————–

Here he is, Nevel Papperman, walking in the streets of Seattle and drinking juice from a packet. Is his mom still in that cruise?

Please note how he carries with him a box (packet, bundle, whatever) of juice. Normally, hobos carry a bottle in a paper bag. Just letting you know.

Please notice the highlighted area. It’s too much for poor Nevel to see the reason for his downfall on a sitting bench like that. I mean, it’s because of Schneider’s All Varieties Gourmet Pickles that he is where he is. And he gets hit in the face with a burger.

And it starts raining on top of him.

And he gets wet. By a guy with a hose. Karma… It works in mysterious and weird ways…

——————————-
Transition to: Carly’s Karma Party
——————————-

The three girls from the other picture just left.

“Karmagain.” Understandable pun…

“One final toast to the downfall of Nevel Papperman!” Samantha, I’ll drink to that!

Liquid soap, Gibby?

Uh, Freddie’s got a text. From one of those 3 girls that left at the start of this scene. Here’s what she wrote:

“Freddie, you are so, so hot.” After he reads the text, he proceeds to giggle like a girl. Understandable, I’d do the same. But, so far, no girls have called me hot.

This is one of the moments in this episode that would be explained later on the show, namely about 3 weeks later.

“Man, what is it with girls? A guy acts like a stupid vampire on a screen and they get all floppy.”

Have you guys noticed that Sam employs the word “stupid” a lot more than the rest of the characters? I wonder why…

There’s a knock on the door. It’s the door to “The Twilight Zone.” Or maybe it’s “The Scary Door”, the Twilight Zone’s parody from Futurama.

Notice how the house is decorated. Full of anti-Nevel stuff. Imagine how Nevel would feel when he sees that.

It’s Nevel! I’m not here! –hides behind the kitchen counter-

“Nevel?”
“What’s he doing here?”
(in vampire voice) “I don’t know…”
Notice that Sam didn’t like that.

———————————–
Commercial Break
———————————–

Back to Bushwell Plaza.

Nevel is tied up in a not so comfortable position… with his hands tied to his feet.

But he complains about the fact that Gibby eats the pudding loudly.

“You hate us!” And not like Sam hates Freddie. Oh no, Rob, you didn’t…

Nevel makes an awesome heartfelt speech, but Gibby’s conclusion is the chiz. “This pudding rocks!”

“I hope you’ll be kind enough to untie me because I’ve lost all feeling in my hands and feet.”

He wants to show the world he regrets his behavior.

You’re willing to prove you’re a changed man, boy, person?

Sam never stops to amaze me…

What is this, Fear Factor? Nevel’s gonna have to dring half a can of Wahoo Punch from Sam’s sweaty sneaker. If he pulls this off, well, nothing’ll happen.

Sam carries a dead cricket in her sneaker… Not surprising.

Everyone’s reaction is the same. Disgust.

—————————
Location: The Groovy Smoothie
—————————

The iCarly gang is getting ready to record a part of the show from the Groovy Smoothie. Meanwhile Freddie gets an unexpected visitor.

Patrice approached Freddie. She’s clearly nervous, as indicated by her slight lip licking.

“Did you like what you saw?” “A lot.”

Freddie’s got himself a potential date… Again, Freddie, wait 3 weeks.

About this image there is few to say and much to admire. Freddie just asked the girls to allow him to make more vampire stuff on iCarly. Carly’s happy face indicates that she’s happy (duh) that Freddie’s having luck with girls. Sam, on the other hand, not so much. You can see she’s a little bothered by his success with the ladies.

Also, is that a compass she’s carrying around her neck? I thought I was the only one who did that…

This next moment is the previous scene in video form.

“America’s nr. 1 dipwad.” “Former dipwad.”

Let me get this straight, he’s screamed at a little girl, and to show how sorry he is, he offers people smoothies that he paid for and creamed corn made by him. I’m not convinced…

The recipe for the creamed corn comes from Nevel’s Grandpappy Papperman…

So, 1 error on this image.

We see www.danwarp.com on the address bar, but the site is iCarly.com.

Despite Nevel’s efforts, Stacey isn’t buying.

Funny how CreddieManiac is quoting Sam, isn’t it?

And what is HungryLisa saying?

What is Spencer doing? Counting screws. ‘Cause he’s bored…

Aw, come on, Nevel! You know that’s not true… Not everybody hates you… Just a big group of people…

Not even advice you can give them, Spence. They don’t want it either…

Nevel’s being attacked! By a headache!

Carly’s conforting Nevel… It’s amazing how Internet-induced shame can do to some people. And lookie here:

Notice the color of the circle on Nevel’s laptop… Yeah…

“No one’s truly gonna believe I truly feel bad about what I did.” Now that’s true, Nevel.

So, Carly hatches together a plan to help Nevel apologize to the world. And she means it.

Spencer, why are you placing butter upon your face?

——————————————
Location: iCarly studio, broadcasting live
——————————————

Gibby was just bitten by an African blowfish, who likes human flesh. Sometimes I wonder why he keeps doing this to himself.

Now look at this:

You can see the “On-line” sign above the door. I just noticed it and I absolutely loved it!

Also, you can see that Miranda is taller than Jennette. I did not know that.

Nevel is apologizing to the world.

“I, Nevel Amadeus Papperman, …” Amadeus?

In this image, no words were required or were provided. When the camera shows Sam, she shrugs, meaning she doesn’t believe that Nevel’s sorry.

Did Nevel just toss the paper?

A truly heartfelt speech from a truly ashamed and regretful webmaster.

A heart-warming moment between Nevel and Molly, the little girl at who he yelled.

Aww… Carly’s a little emotional.

Spencer shows up with absolutely nothing to say.

—————————
Location: The Groovy Smoothie
—————————

Freddie’s on a date with Patrice. You know, the girl who asked him out earlier that week.

She just dumped him. She claims “the vampire thing has played out”. What? No it hasn’t! Look at the Twilight saga, which is parodied in this episode.

Werewolf type? What? Is this a Team Jacob thing?

“Let’s roll.” Gibbeh…

Doesn’t Tasha get jealous? “We’re not exclusive.”

Nevel arrived at the Groovy Smoothie. I don’t think I’ve seen him on the Groovy Smoothie before.

He’s in debt with the iCarly crew.

And the story repeats itself…

“Aw, chiz.”

Again I’d like to apologize for the lateness of this review. My personal life has been interfering with my review schedule (yeah, I have one of those) and then iOMG was announced.

Thank you for reading my reviews.

RobSp1derp1g out!

iOMG review – From the future

*two flashes of light followed by two trails of flames on the ground*
*lots of smoke and the sound of a door opening*
*coughs by two people*

Rob: Holy chiz, Doc! I still can’t believe he said that! Thanks! Now that I know this, my life has changed.
Doc: You know, Rob, you can’t tell anyone about what you’ve seen! If you do that, the space-time continuum will collapse!
Rob: Don’t worry, Doc, I won’t. If I need to go back in time, I know when to find you.
Doc: Take care, Rob!
Rob: You too, Doc! You too!

Hey, guys! This is RobSp1derp1g, straight from the future! To those who believe me, good. To those who don’t, check this out!

Read the rest of this entry

iAm Your Biggest Fan – Review – Dedicated to @AriaSumrWallace

Welcome good people of planet Sol 3 (Earth).
For my first review of 2011, I decided to review an older episode. A Season 1 episode. With a very special guest star, my good friend and incredible actress Aria Summer Wallace. Such an amazing girl…

Anyway, let’s get this show on the road.

As soon as the kids get to Carly’s home (it seems that they spend more time there than at their own households), they are confronted with a huge opponent…

A big sheet.

Thank you, Fredward “Captain Obvious” Benson…

Come on, Sam, don’t torture your future boyfriend like that…

Spencer comes barging in from is room screaming, and the kids get startled…

“Did I startle you?” No, Spencer, they just like to look like they were startled for entertainment purposes.

So, what’s up with the sheet?

A lava lamp that burst into flames… and then exploded. Amazing craftsmanship. And I thought lava lamps were designed to burst into flames and explode…

Uh, the moment draws near. Spencer is about to reveal the nature of the big white sheet.

Whoa, a thing where you can place your derrièrres on and rest confortably! That seat is awesome!

Spencer has an account on the junkyard. They have made a fortune as Spencer’s main supplier of parts.

Whoa, you have made a sculpture that can be used to seat… It’s from a ’66 Ford…

It even has lights! Those lights make lights, and sounds, and noises… And flames…

Spencer shouldn’t do any electrical stuff…

+++ Opening credits +++

—————
Location: iCarly Studio
—————

Carly and Sam are discussing ideas for the new episode.

Sam wants to cut Carly’s hair live on the show.

“I’m not letting you near my neck with a pair of scissors!” Wise move, Carly.

If the haircut idea isn’t getting on, we need one more thing…

Freddie has just the thing. Twister vision.

Yay. *throws cards up*

It is revealed that Sam had a zit on the previous week’s show.

We hear the what people describe as the “first contact”. This is the moment when an alien civilization reveals itself to the humans. In this case it’s Mandy and the iCarly cast, but the words still apply.

Now that the seating arrangements have been dealt with, Freddie asks “An audience of one?” That one is SO awesome, that the word “awesome” itself seems to lose all meaning.

Carly: “Why not?”
Freddie: “Let’s do it!”
Sam: “I don’t care.”

Sam’s suggestion of an iCarly skit: Carly and Sam roll Freddie in bread crums then bake him at 350.
Just till he’s golden brown. This can mean so much, Seddie-wise.

———————
Location: iCarly set
Broadcasting live
———————

Carly and Sam are about to implement Twister Vision as an iCarly segment.

“That silly dude right there.”

AAHHH, what’s happening, their heads are spinning!!

Reality restored, whew, finally! My head was spinning too…

Mandy just entered the show. Mandy’s portrayed by the awesome actress/musician/overall excellent person and friend Aria Summer Wallace.

Mandy is the biggest iCarly fan! She made her aunt drive all the way from Tacoma to be on iCarly. She has her own segment on iCarly.com.

Also, she’s a cook, she made iCarly cookies. And I mean iCarly cookies, not cookies for iCarly.

The Seat of Sitting. Fun fact: in the Portuguese dub for the episode, Carly and Sam say different things at this moment, when talking about the Seat.

And she does know pretty much everything about iCarly. If you asked her what brand is Freddie’s camera, she’d know.

And she’s bossy! Slightly bossy. And soon the “live audience” plan is revealed to have turned for the worst…

———————-
Scene: Shay’s kitchen.
———————-

Let me guess, Mandy. Those are the awesomest stairs ever. Even the stairs on Vatican City are worthless compared to those.

That’s a big fan. No doubt about that… Just look at how muh she’s interested in the personal lives of the cast and crew of the show…

“Who plays the drums?” Drums? I don’t really know…

“Oh, mystery…” It’s a reference to Roxy Hunter, Aria’s previous character.

Carly’s thanking Mandy bor being the first live audience. It’s like saying, “stay here, you can stick with us for as long as you want”.

Spen-cehr arrives, and Mandy glomps him. Twice.

Oh, Spencer’s joining a band as a drummer…

“Awesome, let’s do it! I have money.” Oh, Mandy.

“Sweet zooms.” “I do try my best to… zoom sweetly…”

Sam hates people…

They’ll be like the Three Musketeers. Except the fact that there’re four of them.

————————
Fast forward
————————

Spencer is going to practive breakign drums. He’s making quite a good job at it.

Carly and Sam have arrived.

Strawberry Lumps. Gonna make that band.

Another jab at Pam.

Spencer fixed the drums. Let’s see if he can play.

How did the cymbal get on fire?

————————
Fast forward
————————

Carly and Sam have fallen asleep, while watching Girly Cow.

The calm after the proverbial storm…

Ahhhhhhhh! Mandy’s here!

How’d she get in there?

A wiener dog dressed like a pig. iWill Date Freddie.

She broke in through a window…

Spagetti in a blender. iWant More Viewers. What happened to Emmett?

And suddently she throws popcorn at the girls…

——————-
Commercial Break
——————-

Carly is coming down the stairs at Ridgeway High.

She got another thank you card from Mandy.

So did Sam and Freddie. Sam also got a Seasons 1-4 of Girly Cow on DVD And Freddie got a $40 discount on Bandana Republic. I heard that N’SYNC shop there.

Carly also got a box of frozen stakes… When is she gonna stop?

Mandy arrives, and the gang looks like she has just seen a ghost…

What, she transfered to Ridgeway? *starts breathing heavily*

Now I can officially say that Mandy is so tiresome!! Although the same cannot be said about the actress that protrays her. Aria’s the sweetest girl you’ll ever meet.

What do you want the stakes for, Sam? Oh, to eat.

———————
Scene: Shay’s kitchen
———————

Spencer’s cooking.

The band arrives… Maybe these guys are the band Spencer wants to join. Maybe they are Strawberry Lumps!

Suzay… Not Susie, Suzay…

“There’s my drumset right there.” I’m sure they’d see it eventually, Spencer…

There’s no way this is your drumset, Suzay. Peter, I mean Spencer, found them in the junkyard…

Why else would they come to your house, Mike?

“I’m ready to play a little bit, or a lot-a bit!” “I’ll play the drums, now…” Good call, Walter.

He has no talent on the drums… Stick to playing banjo, Jack.

He’s super-drummy, apparently…

“Will you answer one very important question?” “Does it involve Canadian trivia?” “No.” “Then I will answer this question.” I do this thing, too.

For him to be in the band, they must use this apartment to rehearse…

———————
Scene: Shay’s living room, after a while.
How big is a while? I don’t know.
———————

The kids just returned from school.

They’ve been stalked by Mandy. Now, she’s getting some Fladöödles.

And she’s back…

…with the Fladöödles…

She went to a scandinavian market?

We can’t blame Mandy for being unprepared…

———————
Scene: Shay’s living room, after another while.
———————

The band, whose name is Backflesh, is rehearsing in the Shay’s apartment.

Spencer stinks and it’s quite clear…

But he booked them on Seattle Beat.

And he continues to stink…

———————
Scene: iCarly studio
The kids are live
———————

Carly and Sam are starting the show, and Mandy pops up from behind them. I really don’t know how she did that… We can’t even see her walk behind Sam!

Messin’ With Lewbert!! It’s amazing how Lewbert is recognized the world over as the stereotyped American doorman.

What is this? A duck? Oh, it’s Mandy, she’s impersonating a duck…

———————
Scene: Shay’s living room, the next day, most likely.
———————

Spencer is sitting bummed on the couch, as Carly closes the door.

What’s wrong? Uh, a paper…

Here are the contents of this paper:

“Dear Splinter,
Thanks for getting us booked on Seattle Beat. You rock for that! Unfortunately, your drumming is suckish. So we decided to go ahead with our appearance on Seattle Beat. But we’re kicking you out of the band. Also, we took the rest of your deviled eggs and stole your drums.
Take care,
Blake.”

So, when you’re mad at someone the last thing you should do is listen to their music. But they took his drums!!

“Take an umbrella.” “I don’t wanna…”

“Let’s get upstairs before you-know-who shows up.”

And you know who shows up, just like she predicted…

Looks like Mandy likes Backflesh…

———————–
Scene: iCarly studio
The kids are live, again.
———————–

Celebrity Armpit… I think that was George Clooney’s right armpit…

A Spit Take. A fun way to end a webcast.

Chicken blood on french fries.

To end the webshow, a toast.

“To Mandy, who knows what happened to her!” “Let’s just be psyched that she’s out of our lives…”

You speak too soon, Carly…

Spencer is calling the kids.

Apparently something is happening in Seattle Beat. And Backflesh were using his drums.

Mandy is on Seattle Beat! She’s Backflesh’s number one fan, apparently!

How did she make the cookies so quickly?

And I think the voice that says “Can someone call the cops?” is Dan Schneider’s.

Rock that stage, Duck! I mean, Mandy!

This concludes my iAm Your Biggest Fan review!

I just want to say it was awesome making this review. Even more so, because this is dedicated to a person I am proud to call my friend and super grateful that she came into my life. Aria, Thank you!

RobSp1derp1g out!

Seddie, it’s not a ship, it’s a lifestyle.

iDo – Review

“She, may be the face I can’t forget, a trace of pleasure or regret, may be my treasure or the price I have to pay…”

Hello, by now you’re most likely wondering “There he goes, singing again.” Well, this time it’s different, I was singing to the camera, but I knew the camera was on.

Today’s review goes to the new episode that just aired called iDo. Why iDo? Because there’s a wedding. *Shippers say: What the…?* Oh, cut the crap, you already knew it.

Let’s get it going!!
Read the rest of this entry

iSell Penny-Tees – Review

Dearest readers, I come to you bearing bad news. This will be my last review… for a while. My PC is actig kinda weird and is in need of a cleansing, so I decided to reinstall Windows. I won’t even do iDo’s review, not until my PC is back on track.

So, without further adue, here’s my review for iSell Penny-Tees.
Read the rest of this entry

iGet Pranky – Review

“When the moon hits your eyes, like a something, something pie. That’s amore…”

Oh, it’s on again! And I was singing again… Gawd…

Welcome to my iGet Pranky review! In a few moments, we will start reading the review and you will start imagining what it would be like if it was a video review. If, for any reason, you start to feel nausea while reading this review, it’s your problem, not mine. :D As for emergency exits, there is only one: the small red X on the top-right corner of the screen. Let’s try not to use it…

Shall we begin? And begin we shall!

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, The iCarly Studio \\

Gibby is standing on a vessel with lots of hair-like objects…

Cotton candy, Gibs? Come on…

What? All of these 10 seconds, Gibby was standing on random hair? You mean it’s not a material with similar qualities and properties than those of hair? That’s surprisingly surprising!!

Manny’s barber shop. Another business saved thanks to iCarly… Is there anything these 3 guys won’t do?

That’s discrimination, Freddie! Although I understand your point.

These are the moments when you realize that the show has come a long way. In the start of the show, Gibby wouldn’t even be allowed in the iCarly studio. Now, there is a time for him to get OFF the studio! Talk about character development!!

Sam starts with the ever-so-random-and-usual insults to Freddie. But this time he tries to fight back. VIEWER WARNING: Any attempt of insulting Samantha ‘Sam’ Puckett after she insulted you, will most likely result in a very expensive hospital bill.

A bleeding pickle. I must admit, the prank’s pretty awesome. But I think the dad got some kind of trauma thanks to it.
I feel sorry for the pickle’s children. My prayers go with mustard.

++ Title Sequence ++

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, Carly’s bedroom \\

The gang including Gibby are chillin’ out after another successful webcast.

Sam is dead?? NOOO!! She died as she lived. Being lazy… *Phoebe whispers something* Oh, she’s not dead? Oh, that’s a relief…

Carly is playing in Godzilla’s Pearpad Nano. Come on, that thing’s bigger than her…

While Gibby wonders about the history of the hair he has in his hand…

…Freddie releases a baloon he has been filling.

Spencer is calling Gibby. Incessantly.

Why do you want that bucket of hair for? The mind of the Gibmeister.

As Gibby walks through the door, Godzilla’s PearPad Nano is showing one webpage: Dan Schneider’s blog.

Carly: Yes, she’s asleep.
Freddie: You know what I’m gonna say, so there’s no point in me saying it.

Yo, Shay!! Don’t do that again, otherwise Benson over there will pay the price! Two US dollars!

Sam can throw a pillow hard enough to throw someone of a bed. And pillows don’t fly that well. I think that’s because they don’t have wings.

Bleeding pickle… You will be missed.

A wise decision by Carly. But it might be a funny story from Sam…

Now, 2 questions rose to the top of my head:
– How did she make a cop think his feet for cut off?
– How is that a funny prank?

Raisons in a kid’s hat? Freddie, even I have pulled funnier pranks than that…

Doesn’t this conversation remind you guys of anything? Anything at all? Something purple, maybe? That’s right, this is a twisted-and-turned version of the “two friends and a co-worker” part of iKiss. Prove me wrong, Dan! Prove me wrong… Actually don’t, it’s better this way…

Carly has never pulled a prank on anyone… except for knock-knock jokes.

Let me get this straight: when you meet the right person, you will prank them? Okay, but then that person will never want to see you again. Unless your name is Sam and his name is Freddie. Then it’s aaaaaaaaall good.

See, kids? Peer pressure is a good thing!! By the way, I’m being sarcastic!

// Scene: Ridgeway High, Hallway \\

We get to see the Gibmeister in action! For older fans, his reputation is almost as good as Steve Stiffler’s!

A prank involving placing a fish in someone’s locker… Where did I see that before?

Gibby’s way more positive than Freddie. Remember how he reacted?

I’m forced to agree with Sam on this one.

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, the Shay’s living room \\

Carly is watching an old episode of Drake and Josh with Megan talking on the screen. Instead on wondering why does that little girl look like her, she wonders why is she so good at pranking people.
One word of advice, Carly. If you want to learn something, learn from the best. In this case, Megan Parker.

Spencer’s spoon hat is quite good, actually. Here, in the Portuguese version of Project Runway (in which one of my favorite comedians was a guest judge), a woman tried to do a dress out of spoons. Incredibly, it worked…

Eating soup with a fork… not unprecedented.

“Nothing’s stupid to a guy in a spoon hat.” You gotta admit the truth in that sentence…

Why do you have to go now, Spencer?

“Can you please just respect that? No.”

This is the part where Spencer tells us and his sister what he did.

The title “King” is always prestigious. Try saying “Elvis is the Prince.” It sounds fake.

Notice how the camera zooms on Spencer and the music turns as the scene changes… It seems kinda Hitchcock-ish…

It’s funny how a story on Spencer’s prank record turned into an English class.

Spencer can’t say ‘no’ to a girl wearing a spoon hat.

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, The iCarly Studio \\

Sam and Freddie just arrived at the iCarly studio after receiving a text message from Carly.

Apparently they got a treat from Nevel…

And that treat is… Carly’s severed head. Carly’s severed head???

Oh, it’s just a prank… pulled by Spencer and Carly…

Remember how someone used to say “Let the rueing begin.”? I say “Let the pranking begin!!”

Spencer is completely out of control! He keeps pranking everyone! Even random strangers!

– Commercial Break –

Spencer is watching TV and it’s his own voice coming out of it. Which leads me to believe that it’s Jerry himself on the TV.

He needs Socko’s lawyer to sign a contract. Great.

You know when Carly is serious when she resorts to murder threats…

I must admit, the Plexiglass in front of the elevator prank is pretty cool.

Baby Spencer doesn’t want to sign a contract.

A shock pen. So old.

But it works on Freddie…

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, Basement \\

Gibby is now traumatized. He’s still afraid to pee.

“You can’t touch the king!!” I think Elvis said that once.

// Scene: The Groovy Smoothie \\

Glow-in-the-dark face cream? Spencer likes to innovate.

Am I the only one who is in favor of the nunchucks?

// Scene: Bushwell Plaza, 8th floor Hallway \\

Spencer is entering his home.

There is a class reunion in his house.

Carly decides to record the intervention on video. And during the time that she takes to get her camera, Spencer is beaten up. I’d like to say Karma, but I won’t…

~~ Seddie moments!! ~~

  • In the beginning, Sam throws the pillow at Freddie, even though he did nothing.
  • The conversation about pranks was reminiscent of the “first kiss” talk on iKiss.
  • The dead fish prank was first mentioned on iKiss.
  • The shock pen bit. We all thought it was a taser or something…

And some more I must have missed.

== My opinion ==
It was a very funny episode, as it is to be expected.
When we think we know everything there is to know about Spencer, Dan drops this on top of us.

And now, I’d like to pay my respects to someone who passed away last night.

RIP Bleeding Pickle
3-21-2010 – 9-25-2010
Beloved Father, Son, Husband and Snack

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