Category Archives: Speculations

iGo One Direction Review

WARNING – This episode contains copious amounts of One Direction. Women with heart conditions are advised not to look directly at One Direction. This also applies to women without heart conditions. They’re very pretty – see? See how pretty they are? They’re very pretty! I’d like to run my fingers through their hair; and I’m just text! Anyway, without further ado, enjoy your iCarly episode.

Welcome, everyone, to the review of iGo One Direction. You’ve read the warning and by reading this either out loud or to yourself, you’re agreeing not to sue.

»Scene 1 – Carly and Spencer just arrived home«

From this image, one can assume that the Shays went to Mexico. And that Spencer STILL hasn’t gotten muscles. You know why? Because, despite the fact that his sister is at least 10 years younger than him, and that she’s a bit sick, SHE’s the one carrying all the bags…

“Maybe I should take you to a doctor…” Maybe? I don’t think that there’s any need for that… There a psychotic nurse right across the hall, perhaps she cou… Yeah, a doctor’s better… Probably Dr. Dresdin, who lives in 10-G. Or, if you’re really in a hurry, Dr. Who!

There’s a party going on in the apartment of the Shays! It looks like a pre-4th of July (which I hope to celebrate this year), complete with a barbecue, kids in a kiddie pool, and videogames!

“She okay?”
“No, she’s like dying.” And you STILL haven’t taken her to a doctor, or your neighbor.

There’s a Gibby head watching the video game.

What’s the problem, Gib? Are you afraid of worms?

Of course Sam would know about jungle worms…

Poor Carly… but the stakes are ready.

»Title Sequence«

»Scene 2«

Gibby is rubbing Sam’s feet. However, if I did not see it, and just heard it, I wouldn’t say that they were rubbing feet.

These replies to Spencer were actually pretty awesome!

“Hey, guys! Guess what I got?”
“A woman?”
“A job?”
“A friend your own age?”

So, Spencer got an exercise machine… actually, for a moment there, I thought I heard Spencer say exorcise machine… I actually did…

Uhh, the Omniflex… Omni, meaning “all”, and flex, meaning “physical effort”.

Is that… Is that a single popcorn on your navel? Navel means belly button…

Freddie received an e-mail from the manager of a British band. Who are they? Take That? Franz Ferdinand? Muse? (Actually, a serious note here: Muse were the favorite band of a friend of mine who recently passed away.) Coldplay? (“You know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.”) David Bowie? (“I’m not David Bowie”) The Beatles?

Oh, it’s WandErection, I mean, One Direction… Never heard of them…

Gibby’s a big fan of them…

If I may quote the e-mail: “Dear Freddie (Oh my God), in response to your e-mail, my clients, One Direction, will be in the Seattle area later this week, and they would love to appear on iCarly and perform a song.” That’s huge for them, first Plain White T’s, now One Direction, who’s next? James Blunt? Taylor Swift? Maroon 5? Uh, uh, Gym Class Heroes with Adam Levine!!!

Look at this! This is Cutting Room Flow!

If I didn’t know it’s a fake software, I’d probably download it illegally…

»Scene 3«

Spencer’s getting a visit and a package for Spencer Spay. Oh, the subliminal messages…

You’re a personal exercise trainer?

Spencer unknowingly fixed a babe magnet…

»Scene 4 – iCarly studio«

Freddie is working with the camera…

A few things to retain: Sam texted Freddie from jail. But she’s just visiting…

Carly saved Freddie from a possible infection with Jungle Worms.

It has been a very long time since I got to say this, Gibby suited up! Look at the Gibster:

He might just be the biggest male fan of 1D…

And Sam, who just got here from prison, announces that WandErection, I mean One Direction have arrived. And Gibby unleashes the inner fangirl. Basically, he does what I would do if I saw any of the 33 names I have on my phone… All of those names are female.

Yeah, I know… In my opinion, the use of this image was WAY overdue…

One Direction are performing a song. And that song is “What Makes You Beautiful.”

Sam makes a quick announcement: “I’m not currently dating anyone.” Please note this look on Freddie’s face:

And, of course, Gibby’s foot massages. He has, according to Spencer, “the hands of a goddess”.

British sandwiches…

Carly leaves the water bottle with the cute Texan water bottle holder unprotected near the tech cart.

 
I would like to thank @VillayCescilove for identifying the members of 1D.

I don’t know if you know this but it’s 5 of them… “Just putting that out there…”

!Would you guys autograph my sister’s scrapbook?” I didn’t know Taylor was a fa… Sister’s? Then why does it have a G on the cover?

Okay, I must say this: I’ve been speaking English for over 10 years now, 7 of those were spent learning British English, and I can’t understand what they say! Luckily, I have a transcript. Let me check… Oh, yeah, Harry asked Louis if there was any water. And Louis says “Ova ther…”

“Handgoons” Yeah, in America, we use them bloody handgoons to kill people…

»Sometime later…«

Spencer is combing his not-so-lady-like hair for his personal exercise trainer time.

Sam likes One Direction… Is that why Freddie’s joining a band? Pretzels for thought…

Spencer, she doesn’t care. Like, at all…

What the deuce? Who’s the incredibly rude girl?

“Kid, what are you doing?”
“Smelling this fudge!” Isn’t it obvious, Spencer?

“My mother said you were gonna exercise me!” Should I be the one to let you know that this sounds like there’s another connotation to this sentence?

I can’t believe Spencer is helpless towards a kid…

»Some time later«

Geez, hum, what’s his name… Right, Harry’s feeling really bad… He can’t even stand…

Gibby, go sit in the…

Yeah, there. Stay there.

You feel cold? And thirsty? You know what that means, don’t you? It means you read the wrong part of the script!

Carly gave Harry Styles jungle worms? Dun, dun, dun…

»Commercial break«

»Scene 4, Carly’s room«

Dr. Dresden is taking care of Harry.

“Is he better?”
”I think so… or maybe not.” What kind of doctor are you?

“We’re so lucky to have a doctor right here in the building.” Still thinking a psychotic nurse would be better…

Here’s a nice pun: Harry wants fruit cut into cubes, the way only Carly does. ‘Cause “that’s what makes you beautiful.”

»Some time later«

Spencer’s forcing that kid to get some exercise, while Spencer eats.

45 seconds!

Spencer’s like me, he can’t see a girl cry.

Bethany’s not awkward, she just has a very bad personality.

A makeover?

»Scene 7 – Groovy Smoothie«

San Francisco! The city the show Monk takes place in!

Note that Sam’s reaction is an actual effect obtained from being around celebrities. Go to a celebrity, ask them to say the name of a country or city and watch the results.

Harry’s having all of his needs taken care of…

T-Bo’s taking pics of 1D with his pearPhone.

“…he’s having a good time at Hotel Carly-fornia.” What a lovely place, what a lovely place, what a lovely place.

Butter Sock 4: The Re-Return of The Butter Sock.

“Is that a sock?”
“Full of butta?”

Freddie wants to “replace” Harry from 1D, forcing him to admit that he’s just in it for the lulz, I mean, for Carly’s attention.

“Who with?”

Here’s the question that is on EVERYONE’s mind. Who will replace Harry? Who has the raw talent, predisposition to sing and intricate knowledge of OneDirection’s songs that is required to sing with the group? Ali Brustofski? Megan Nicole? Uh, uh, Aria Summer Wallace!

This guy.

Harry admits he’s feeling better and that he’ll be able to perform on iCarly, on the condition that they never let Gibby sing, or dance ever again.

And as usual, Gibby’s not in on it.

»Some time later«

Spencer is giving a little girl a makeover. It’s Extreme Makeover: Kid Edition.

Agh, my eyes!!

“We need some kind of resolution!” I hear the fourth wall breaking.

»Scene 8 – iCarly webcast«

The girls just presented One Direction.

I’ve been on Twitter for a while now. And every day, I hear about One Direction but never thought about it. But this song is awesome!

Sam kidnapped Zayn?

Guys, get ready! Tomorrow there’s another iCarly episode tomorrow. It’s called iOpen a Restaurant! And it is gonna be fun… I guess…

iApril Fools Review

Rob’s Reviews, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. RobSp1derp1g, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law. 

Welcome, faithful readers! We bring you today my review to iApril Fools, another episode of iCarly!

First of all, I have to apologize. This review was done when I wasn’t feeling too well, and I had some stuff holding me down…

Let’s get started!

This time, the gang warns us that this is not an usual episode of iCarly. And it is not for normal people. And the answer for it is… soup.

»Title Credits«

These credits are a bit different… There’s a montage with pics of them when they started doing iCarly and how they are now. And there’s fire and lightning in the middle…

There’s a box with items which belong to @DanWarp. Here, take a look:

»Scene 1 – Bushwell Plaza, Shays’ very bare living room«

Are the Shays moving?

The Shays have been EVICTED? That is a TERRIBLE way to spend April Fools! Mine’s gonna be more creative… Then again, not that much…

I find it harder to believe that the owner’s name is Bushwell than Carly stabbed him…

10 o’clock PST? I’m on DST, so what time is that on GMT?

“Sure had a lot of good times on this place.”
“Yeah, we sure had…” Oh, God, here it comes, reminiscing time…
“Agreement.”

“You guys remember the time we were all sitting around watching that TV show?”
“What episode of that TV show?”
“You mean the one where the characters talk about crazy stuff that happened in previous episodes?” Isn’t that all TV shows?
“And then they flashback to the scenes they were talking about?” Yup, that’s ALL TV shows.

Reminiscing time!

Dan Schneider is talking in the TV! It is my belief that this is an episode (with flashback) of Head Of The Class..

That’s the 2nd time I’ve ever seen people so excited about flashbacks…

Gibby comes in from the elevator to steal something…

The new tenants are from France! *le gasp*

Gibby hit Spencer in the head with the STOP sign he stole…

But Sam tells him that is not how April Fools works… so Gibby kisses Spencer on the cheek and runs away…

They’re going away against their wishes, so they are having a party, complete with a party bush…

T-Bo’s invited too, so Sam calls him.

T-Bo’s a genie?

And T-Bo proceeds to do the same thing Gibby did, smack Spencer in the head with a STOP sign.

“Will you just take us to the next scene, please?”

Hard cut to…

»Scene 2 – Party’s location«

Freddie’s NOT partying without a party bush… He wants it so bad he starts to feel a bit ill due to not having a party bush…

That’s the power of magic. T-Bo blinks and they get a party bush… but is it me, or it’s a bit dry?

Ah, iCarly… I used to love that webshow… Now? I still do…

They are going to think back on the reason they started iCarly…

Whoa! They have suddenly been transported to school! There is some Butterfly Effect chiz going on here…

This is the event that led to the creation of iCarly… After this, Freddie uploaded Carly and Sam’s video and accidentally created iCarly…

After the final denial from Ms. Briggs, Carly and Sam the scene cuts to… What?

That’s Ms. Briggs from another universe which is not this one!!

If their energies collide, there will be an explosion with galactic proportions!

FIRE IN THE HOLE!! TAKE COVER!! That is the example of over 6 years playing Counter Strike and Call of Duty… If I may quote Jeffrey Albertson (known to many as Comic Book Guy), “life well spent!”

It’s an explosion of galactic proportions, but it’s confined to a few inches… and it’s perfectly safe to walk on the blast radius afterwards. Look:

“We should start a webshow.”
“Okay, what do we call it?”

And here’s the kicker, non-nerd Freddie actually trying to be a nerd.

And of course, who could forget Sparky.

And Freddie can move while in freeze frame!

See? What did I tell you? Going to a re-enactment of the past changed the course of Blitztory! *ghost-like whispers* Blitz…

“What time is it?” It’s time for Spencer to be hit in the head with a STOP sign, AGAIN… However, despite the caps, I find it very amusing…

Poachy? Sounds strangely familiar and delicious…

Here they go again…

Oh, the harp…

Miko?

The girls are intelligent, don’t get me wrong, I thought that girls like these had been discontinued, but sometimes they can be so thick headed!

Miko is able to predict the future… look:

Gibby, you’re violating the rules of flashingbacking!

There’s an Asian guy knocked out in your studio. You start dancing like a cowboy in Texas…

Yet another flashback. I didn’t know the Shays had a cat… Is it me, or isn’t that cat Jackson, Dan’s cat?

There’s an old saying, Gibby, and it goes like this: “Take me by the tongue and I’ll know you” See what I did there? Nah, the saying is “Payback’s a [CENSORED]”

»Commercial Break«

“We’re back!”
“Back from what?”
“I dunno…”

Let me clarify some things. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a party bush, but talking party bushes? That’s epic, dawg…

T-Bo just watered the bush…

Now, they talk about Carly’s lack of bad moods. And they are proven wrong, in a flashbacking way.

Huh? What are they doing in Tori Vega from Victorious’s house? And that’s the former blogger who alienated his friends by writing about them!!

It’s like a virus… “just leave it all to me”

Spencer’s really long hair… like a lady’s.

It was when iSaved Your Life aired. “12 million viewers…”

Spencer’s ladylike hair…

Here comes Mr. Bushwell.

Just one question, why does Gibby take down his pants when he gets depressed?

Think back, Mr. Bushwell…

Look! It’s the Doc! He brings a warning!

Go back to a future episode!!

And here’s the obvious reference to Back to the Future, in which there is a mention to the possibility of Seddie children.

And T’bo’s time machine!!

This episode shows that you don’t need to have a storyline to have a good time… Stupid line, I know…

And again, I’m sorry about the delay.

Ten-hut!

At ease, soldiers.

We have received intel that the next iCarly episode will premiere on January 16th. This episode marks a special occasion, because the FLOTUS will be there, which means that every available soldier must ensure that the FLOTUS is safe. We were given 2 Secret Service agents to aid us.

The intel comes from our friends over at Nickutopia.com, so you know it’s good intel.

This is the intel that we received, and it’s need-to-know only:

If this intel leaves this briefing room, please give us credit.

Dismissed!

Some say…

Some say that in his wallet, he keeps a picture… of his wallet; and that he’s illegal in 14 American states, and is not allowed to enter the other 36. All we know is that he brings us bagels and pretzels (I LOVE pretzels!) Oh, he’s Steve.

This time, Steve brought us something that I was actually grateful he brought, a piece of good news. He brought us a promo for iStill Psycho.

I wanted to show it to you guys, but it has been removed from YouTube…

For more info on this episode, check this blog post: http://t.co/R9ZhzuYq

EDIT: Thanks to @azn_Seddie, I got a link to the promo! Enjoy!

New promo!

This just in! There is a new promo! More on this as it develops.

EDIT: We just watched the promo, and we can’t really get much out of it. But the reports from our Twitter correspondent give us the information that Cibby will be explored. For your viewing delight, here’s the promo:

Christmas has come earlier this year!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year,
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you “Be of good cheer”
And, because of legal purposes, I won’t sing anymore.

You’re most likely wondering why I’m singing Christmas songs. Two reasons: they are the only thing that makes the echoing Bieber songs that are constantly playing on TV stop, and the much more important reason, and please turn your excitement level to 11 for this, there will be 3 NEW iCarly EPISODES this month!!

That’s right! Starting from Seddietember 10th, there’s going to be a NEW iCarly EPISODE EVERY SATURDAY!!

The efforts of the Seddie Warriors who went to battle nearly 2 years ago are remembered with this tribute to Seddie…

But enough with the past, let’s look to the future!

We can see that this promo is for more than one episode, most likely the 3 we are getting this month.

You think iCarly’s getting good?
Well, it’s just getting started with the whole new season.

Carly’s upset that iCarly’s about to start and the newly-formed couple is still not there. That’s right, Seddie’s a couple!! Look at my power! Fangirls, rejoice! And Gibby’s not a mushroom.

See Spencer’s craziest creation EVER!

So, Spencer made a lawn? Is he trying to become a golfer? That’s actually pretty cool… Wait… Let’s do the math here… Spencer + lawn = Big fire.
Is the loft insured?

Find out if Freddie survives life in prison…

I get the feeling that Freddie’s visiting Sam’s relatives in jail… And from the looks of the guy…

It's uncle Carmine!!

Cons have a dark sense of humor… (Disclaimer: Cons do not have a dark sense of humor. This line of text is simply a  way to defend myself.)

Every Saturday night, catch the most hilarious, most shocking, most anticipated iCarlys ever!

Spencer built a lawn so that he could observe the night sky while indoors. I sense the existance of iCarly Seddie fanfics, of the M variety because of this.

Now, get ready for an iCarly “sort-of-marathon”!!

See you all on Seddietember 11th, when I post my iDate Sam and Freddie review!

Spend a superb Seddietember!!

OH. MY. SEDDIE.

I had some troubles thinking of a fitting name, so I chose what many of us were thinking: Oh my Seddie.

Yes, that’s what I thought. After all the screaming, squealing and overall ‘Fan-Girling’.

What am I talking about? Of course, it’s the Behind the Scenes iLost My Mind Promo (Or Promo 4), which you can see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI9OdKEvJp0&feature=relmfu

And which I, BabelLeef, will be reviewing here (I warn you, it’s going to be a long one!):

Drum Roll, please!

Saturday, August 13th…

THE WORLD PREMIERE OF iLOST MY MIND!

So, Freddie’s getting worried about Sam…

But where is she? (Like we didn’t already know. We even have the wristbands…)

Oh – look at this:

I couldn’t help but notice how happy Freddie looked that they found Sam. But…

Not so happy…

Moving swiftly on, we get to see some ‘Behind the Scenes’ – and I will skip some of these clips to come, unless it is clear that that they are a crucial part to the episode, or they looked interesting. This blog is going to be long enough already..

Jerry dancing! No, wait… SPENCER DANCING!

The reason this gets a mention is because SPENCER is happy dancing in his apartment. Confused? My guess is he’s probably just found out Sam and Freddie kissed. Yeah. SECRET SEDDIE SHIPPER ALERT!

Nathan and Miranda’s high-five. I can’t help but smile at it.

It’s iCarly the musical. I have no idea whether they are in character or not. I’m assuming the latter.

… and we went Behind the Scenes to give you an inside look at THE MOST INSANE iCARLY SPECIAL EVER!

Psch. No chiz.

“… in here, Mrs Puckett…”

We got up with the cast to find the story behind the madness…

I’m going to be completely useless here and say I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT EXACTLY THIS SCENE IS. Is it from the actual episode? Is it Jennette and Nathan out of character before shooting? All I can say is that I think the guy behind the camera is Caleb/Jim Parsons. My inner fangirl is taking over.

Have you ever tried doing a live webshow in a Mental Hospital? Well, it isn’t easy.

Annoyed Sam…

Defensive Freddie…

I love both Miranda and Jennette’s acting in this scene – Jennette pulls off playing ‘Insane Sam’ especially well!

And a shuffle shuffle to the next screencap…

IT’S JIM PARSONS! “We LOVE Jim Parsons!”

Why did Spencer do that?!

“I’m from the year 2077!”

“…Seriously?”

Sam has that affect on a lot of people.

And finally, the stars of iCarly gave us their thoughts on the ultimate question:

OH MY GOD.

SPENCER!

Oh, oh…

OH OH OH OH!

 

 

(you see that arrow? pointing to Freddie’s obviously puckered lips.)

 

AHH! The part where I died and went to Seddie heaven.

Oh My Seddie indeed.

 

 

 

 

Strap on your seat belts. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

Hello, my friends! I’m super excited, so I’m gonna cut to the chase.

Dan Schneider (@Danwarp) just posted a blog post about iCarly and Victorious. It contained info on the new iCarly episodes for the new season!

Remember iLost My Mind? The episode Nickelodeon gave us a promo for a few weeks ago. It’s part of a storyline!

The titles are iLost My Mind, iDate Sam and Freddie, iCan’t Take It, and iLove You.

Apart from iLost My Mind, all titles are temporary. They may be the real ones or not.

We also got news about the iPsycho sequel, iStill Psycho, and iMeet The First Lady!

Want to know what Dan himself said? Read this!

Discuss, people!!!

Why Sam is in love with Freddie

It’s an established fact that Samantha Puckett is in love with Freddie Benson. What many people don’t get is why. Well, I believe I bring an answer.

It was said in iParty with Victorious that Sam’s dad pulled a “Mr. Muntz”, that is, he left his wife and daughters without any explanation. While Nelson’s dad, the aforementioned Mr. Muntz, left, he said he was going to buy cigarettes, but never came back.

If one takes a look at Sam’s relationships from a psychological point of view, you can see a pattern. There was Eric Moseby, also known as Noseby Moseby, who bought Sam’s love. Well, he was kinda leasing it, but the effect’s the same.

Then, we have Jonah, a guy who didn’t care about her, and pretty much, used her to get to Carly. That would get anyone pretty upset.

Following him, we get Reuben. He was not in love with Sam, it was more of a crush. Besides, the language barrier was too much of a problem.

After Reuben, there is Shane, played by that guy from that band. He was the reason for a competition between the girls, which caused them not to fight over a boy again. It’s underlined, so it’s important.

Now, we have Pete. Pete caused Sam to change, both inside and out. She didn’t want it, but she thought it would make her happy, so she complied. And it turned out to be pointless.

Spencer is something different, but the same. Sam said she had a crush on Spencer, but the age gap is too wide. Besides, it was never mentioned again.

I’m not talking about Brad, I feel there’s no need for that.

Carly and Freddie are the only people that have never left her, that always supported her and gave her the courage to carry on. But Sam isn’t into other girls.

Freddie always supported her, he gave up a cruise to make her happy, cheered her on, helped save her life and, somewhere during the show, she started relying more on him than on Carly.

Give me your opinions on this, please. I want to know what you, my readers, think.

RobSp1derp1g out.

Am I dead? ‘Cause this seems like heaven…

There is a place where everything is good. Where there is no pain, no harm, and everyone is happy.

Some call it Heaven, some call it Nirvanna (2 n’s), others call it Capeside, Massachusetts.

Its true name is, Seddieland, also known as Seddie Heaven. Located around Seattle, Washington.

Why I say this? Take a look:

This is the official promo for the episode I saw while on the future. And the promo STILL gets to me…

And I’ll be a good friend and over-analyze it, like I did with the iOMG one!

Let’s get to work!

We are shown a part of the iOMG kiss. Then, the drama, so to speak, begins.

“Nothing will prepare you for what happens NEXT!” I disagree. Time travel does.

You can see what happens here, Sam is behind a door with a glass window. This could be the Troubled Waters Mental Hospital.

“This August…” It’s my birthday!!

Mrs. Benson hired a P.I. A so not-unlike-her thing to do. And he’s fully equipped, complete with raincoat, sunglasses and hat.

Freddie’s dating Sam… Oh, and you’re gonna love this:

It’s safe to say that Mrs. Benson doesn’t want Sam and Freddie to be together. But that doesn’t make her a Creddie shipper.

And another thing, or rather, two things:

You can see both Sam and Freddie going in for a kiss. Both Sam and Freddie are okay with it, and we can perceive that the iOMG kiss is no longer a problem at all. Also, Carly’s happy. Not “meh” happy, she’s genuinely happy.

“Are Sam and Freddie in love?”

“Sam loves Freddie! Sam loves Freddie!” This scene seems to me that it is before the previous scene.

“Will Carly keep them together?”

“I’m just supposed to sit here and wait for you guys to have a fight so I can settle it?”
“Pretty much!”
“We’d really appreciate it…” I can’t, for the life of me, do two things. Figure out how they get there, and not laugh when I hear this line…

“And the biggest question of all…” Have I lost my mind?

Lookie here:

Carly has her arms up in the first pic, but she’s not forcing them to kiss… If she was, Sam wouldn’t have her hand on Freddie’s forearm… Think about it.

Coming on August, 2011.

Amazing! Be ready!!

And I said there’d be a HUGE REVELATION on this post. Well, follow my train of thought.

The purple restaurant scene and the one where they are kissing in the kitchen were shot on the first week of production. The Troubled Waters Mental Hospital scenes were shot on the second. This leads me to say that this MIGHT be a 40-minute episode.

RobSp1derp1g out!!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 306 other followers

%d bloggers like this: