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iAnalyze Season 4

Your pal RobSp1derp1g’s here again!!

Since Season 4 (Season 3 in Production) is over, I thought of summing it up.

iGot a Hot Room (301)
iDo (302)
iSell Penny-Tees (304)
iGet Pranky (303)
iSam’s Mom (305)
iStart a Fan War (308-309)
iHire an Idiot (307)
iPity The Nevel (306)
iOMG (310) Read the rest of this entry

iSam’s Mom – Review

My friends, the time has come. On September 11th, 2010, a new person was introduced to us. Their name: Pam Puckett. Her game: you don’t wanna know…

As you might know, Phoebe’s back from her time off and she has a Seddie-themed soundboard. So prepare for more sounds. *clapping sounds*

Now, as Gibby would say: “Let’s do this!”

The episode starts with Carly entering the iCarly studio, and Freddie’s there doing some sort of thing to the camera.

Of course Sam’s not here yet! The episode has barely began!!

“Are those new pants?” While I might regret what I’m about to say, how did Carly know those were new pants? But those pants are pretty cool…
Oh, and Freddie’s hip-swivel. Totally normal gesture. When I have a new pair of pants, I swivel my hips to show them off… By the way, I was being sarcastic!

“They sell pants for men now.” “Then you should have bought some.” Oh, Carly… When did you start to mess with Freddie, in the Sam way?

I thing I have to mention, or else it’s gonna get forgotten. Is it just me, or does Gibby look a lot like Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama? The only thing that’s missing is the “Whoop whoop whoop” while clapping his claws… And that is a disturbing thought.

Every time a TV host cuts something out of the show’s alignment because they’re out of time, they are clearly kidding…

You’re mad, Gibby? You shouldn’t be. You know why? Because she warned you!!!

Freddie’s punchline kills me! “Would you say you’re… steamed?” Not the most appropriated word when talking to a boy with fake lobster claws. And now would be the time for Dr. Zoidberg’s Whoop whoop…

It was funny, Carly, admit it. But Gibby didn’t find that line that much funny.

A little etiquette lesson from Sam. Phoebe, some soft violin music, please.
*Soft violin music starts playing*
How to correctly enter a room:
Step 1: You step by the door and wait until someone’s talking.
Step 2: As soon as you know that someone’s talking, you barge in asking for anti-itch cream.
And that’s the correct way to enter a room.
Courtesy of whoever did it first, I don’t feel like checking names.
Cut the music, Phoebe.
*Soft violin music stops*

Whoa, Sam’s not responding to Freddie with insults? I think she’s ill…

Oh, that explains it. Mrs. Puckett has been driving her daughter insane. I feel kinda bad for Sam…

Why am I not surprised? Sam eating chicken. (A small personal note.: My mom’s a big fan of iCarly.

But she doesn’t know the TV show’s name. So, she calls it “Fried Chicken”. And when she sees Jennette  McCurdy, she goes “That’s the girl from “Fried Chicken.”)
5, 4, 3, 2, and Sam keeps talking… This footage is for the blooper reel, or something on “Candid Camera”…

Freddie’s ultracool attitude is incredible. Really, he’s so calm and collected when he says that…

Maybe ’cause he’s not the one on camera…

Well, better late than never, I always say…

Let’s see the new opening credits! *Leave It All to Me starts playing*
~~ Opening Credits Analysis ~~
The first clear difference is the layout of the browser winder, I mean, window. It now has tabs! One with Hungry Girl’s website and one with Schneider’s Bakery e-mail account. Did you update that browser, Dan? :D

Wow, some new special effects! Rockin’! Did Sam just tase Freddie? Why is Sam spanking Freddie’s butt? And for my fellow Seddiers, a little fun fact. If you see when Sam is spanking Freddie, the clips on the right are from (from top to bottom: iTwins, iMeet Fred and iThink They Kissed. You know what this means, right?)

I just saw an image that created this line in my head. “My name is Shay. Spencer Shay” Spencer as a secret agent. Awesomeness…

What’s up with all of that Staff people? And why is Freddie disoriented. And you can tell that Sam’s worried about him, just by the way she reaches for Freddie. I saw this Viking-looking guy, so I take this is footage from Webicon 2010.

The ending shot was cool. The starting fourm, as I call them, holding random objects.

~~ Opening Credits Analysis Ended~~

++ Setting: Bushwell Plaza – Carly’s new and technologically ultra-advanced room ++

Carly is sleeping peacefully in her bed. Something is bound to happen. It HAS to happen.

Ah, a burglar is in Carly’s ro… Oh, it’s just Sam… Ah, Sam is in Carly’s room! I’d prefer if it was a burglar.

And she keeps rambling about something, but I can’t quite figure out what.

Maybe it’s the way Miranda said the line, but I think “it’s 4 o’clock in the freaking morning” doesn’t sound correct here. But Dan’s the TV producer, not me.

What better time to move in to someone’s house than at 4 o’clock in the morning? Maybe 4 o’clock in the afternoon, but Sam Puckett isn’t like other people…

You see? Spencer and I had the same thoug… A sand duster, Spencer? Really?

Let’s get this straight: Someone picks your lock at 4 o’clock in the morning, you are forced to share the room with them, and your brother was going to make eggs at their request, WILLINGLY? My goodness, the world’s going insane…

Carly does not have lice, Spencer, why are you using the sand duster on her?

// During the scene transition \\

The computer that supposedly contains all iCarly video files has 2 operating systems, one built into the other! We have Windows on the background, but the layout of the video-editing software is from a Mac! I never got to mention that in a review or anything like that.

++ Setting: The Groovy Smoothie ++

Spy Glasses: A new item for personal surveillance. Keep you and your family safe and sound thanks to these innovative glasses. They include a tiny video camera that will for sure make your life miserable. The price: only 10 dollars. Can you put a price on your family’s safety? I thought so. And if you could, it would not be 10 dollards. SPY GLASSES! They keep you safe. Or not. Available at the Schneider chain store.

A flash chip that can hold up to 6 hours of video? Awesome! I want some of those glasses!


Freddie and Gibby looking at blondes… You are an evil genius, Dan… :) Come on, Gibby! You have a girlfriend! Tasha? Ring any bells?

Freddie, I have a very strong opinion on these cases. And it goes like this: You should have started to “capture the moment on video” the moment those 2 girls walked in!

Gibby’s dream is to be a movie direction. His professionalism when he says “action”. He has talent.

I know for a fact that the “dumb blonde” thing is not true. But those girls are incredibly stupid. It sounds like when Josh walked into a guitar store and asks “Do you sell guitars?”

Ah, a burglar just walked into the Groovy Smoot… Yep, it’s a burglar. Ah, a burglar just walked into the Groovy Smoothie!!! Call the police! Or Sam! Or the police and Sam! Anything!

Dan, let me tell you something. This is one of the best TV/movie staged robberies I’ve ever seen.

“He’s getting away!” No chiz, lady!

Gibby, the kid who saved the d… Gosh, darn it!

T-Bo’s reaction was priceless! “That guy took over 300 bucks! Jerk!”

There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Gibby. You were slower than him, and that’s okay.

Awesome. The Groovy Smoothie has been robbed, the identity of the thief is a mistery, and T-Bo’s principal concern are the cables. Groovy. Sorry for the bad pun.

“Shut up!” “True chiz!” Look at this incredible interaction… He saved the store, and instead of the rightful recognition Freddie deserved, he gets… a coupon. Buy 12 smoothies and get the smoothie number 13 with 10% off price. That is a bargain.

++ Setting: The Shay’s appartment ++

Sam is watching TV and Carly is walking down the stairs.

A half-eaten what?

That’s kinda obvious, Sam!

New Penny-T! “Bacon Farm”. Makes sense, when you think about it…

Something’s obviously wrong. Sam leaving her pan…, I mean, underwear in the stairs?
And I actually prefer underwear.

“Celebrities Under Water” returns! I wish it was a real show. It’d be cool to see Megan Fox swimming…

Sam deleted Spencer’s Celebrities Under Water? AHHHHHHHH!!

It’s clear that Spencer is not informed… “STAIRS, STAIRS, STAIRS.”

Of course you are, Spencer, everyone would be.

== Timeskip to The Groovy Smoothie ==

Freddie is upset. T-Bo gave him a coupon and when he tries to redeem it, T-Bo won’t accept it.
Oh, the coupon’s expired.

T-Bo’s getting interviewed! By Dave Mercer. The newscaster T-Bo watches 2, maybe 3 times a year.

He had to buy new cables!!

T-Bo’s face is priceless!

Freddie now gets the recognition he deserves. And even some more.

He’s Freddie Benson, lives in Bushwell Plaza, in apartment 8D. And he’s never kissed a girl. oh, wait, that was last time…

That’s it, Freddie is done for.

== Timeskip to: The Shay’s apartment ==

Carly just got home. Sam has nearly destroyed her kitchen.

The way Carly speedwalks to the kitchen is incredible.

Carly tries to reason with Sam. Without success. It’s like the saying goes. If at first you don’t succeed,…

call Pam Puckett.

Introducing Mama’s mama, Pam Puckett! Portrayed by Jane Lynch. An amazing actress for an amazing part.

“You don’t deserve my parts!” Now we see where Sam Puckett got her replies from…

“Who told you that? Your parole officer?” “At least I call my parole officer!” I think there should be one parole officer for every member of the Puckett family. Except for Melanie, but you never know…

“Why don’t you take a bath?” “‘Cause you didn’t pay the water bill!” Clever!

## Commercial break ##

++ Same setting as above ++

That is definitely the biggest bag of beans I’ve ever seen. Now say that 3 times. Come on, I dare you.

The Pucketts are a tornado. Wherever they go, they leave a trail of destruction and insults. Mostly destruction.

Welcome, Mrs. Benson! I see you packed your bags…

“Why does your chest look all thick?” “I’ve been working out. You know, pushups and milk.” Milk? Milk can develop your physical constitution? Hmm, maybe I should drink some more myself. *goes get milk*

*comes back* Here I am, with a glass of milk.

A bullet-proof vest? Then what do I do with the milk? *looks at the milk* Well, I might as well… *drinks the milk*By the way, you can’t say Freddie’s not prepared… “That’s quite a sports bra…”

And people say iCarly isn’t educational. Bullet-proof vests are made of kevlar.

Boiling the silverware? Oh, my God…

++ Setting: Pschneider Psychiatric Center ++

They don’t have anything sharp in their pockets. Now, can you help them, Mr. Doctor Psychiatric Shrink.

Carly feared for her life…

We get to see Pam Puckett’s legendary dating skills in use. That’s a previlege.

“Pardon my mommy’s desperation.” “Pardon my daughter’s personality.” This is a proof of how great an actress Jennette McCurdy is.

== Timeskip to: The Shay’s apartment ==

I feel bad for Carly. For 2 days in a row, she comes home to find a person she didn’t invite into her house using her kitchen.

“Carly Shay, webshow host”.

We are introduced to Gunsmoke. He’s a bodyguard. Now, I must say something. This is discrimination from Mrs. Benson. She only wants to guard Freddie’s body? What about Freddie’s mind and soul? Can they be mauled by Shadowhammer? Apparently they can!

A hole in his leg as big as his thumb? if he wasn’t shot, how did the hole get there?

If Gunsmoke was a robot, this is how he’d see the setting:

Object:snowcome machine
Potentiality as a lethal weapon: moderate, if thrown to the head, otherwise, none
Fun to destroy: Oh, yeah!
That’s why he destroyed it.

Correction, Spencer, Freddie need to be protected from you as well. Remember the fire on the ringbell down on the lobby? That’s what I’m talking about.

Oh, Spencer…

== Timeskip to: Pschneider Psychiatric Center ==

Remember what I said about the Pucketts? I reiterate my previous statement.

Unless they express their feelings through fights and screams, it’s true, Mr. Doctor Psychiatric Shrink.

I think that was a compliment.

They’re not jewish… Great remark by Sam.

They can’t stay 5 seconds without fighting…

They are forced to talk to get out of there. Let’s see how long it lasts.

== Timeskip to: The Shay’s Apartment ==

Spencer, Gunsmoke and Carly are watching a movie.

Freddie’s following a special diet, forced by his mom.

“The Killing War” sounds (and apparently is) violent.

And lemonade’s for ballerinas, apparently.

++ Transition to: Pschneider Psychiatric Center ++

Sam and Pam are still at it.

Geez, fighting on and on like that for 9 hours? Sam and Pam may be crazy, but the doctor just  reached the border of insanity.

Great, now all 3 are in there with no chance of escaping a certain death. Oh, sorry, turned my eyes to the TV for a moment, Indiana Jones is on.

This is a 3-way not-so-random discussion, brought to you by Pschneider Psychiatric Center.

== Timeskip to: the Shay’s apartment ==

I gotta tell ya, if my mom was like Mrs. Benson, I’d have moved out a LONG time ago.

VENGEANCE OF THE SPENCER!! I’m betting Freddie’s getting payback for all those Baby Spencer segments.

Spencer’s idea is actually good…

And Gunsmoke is watching Full House…

== Timeskip to: Pschneider Psychiatric Center ==

Sam, Pam and Carly are trapped in the therapy box.

We find that Sam had a bunny named Fluffles, and he was sold. To foreigners. What kind of foreigners would want a bunny?Also, Sam tells Pam that she sabotaged her mom’s relationship witha rich doctor called Steven, by telling him she got hit by a bus.

Now, for me, this is the best line of the episode: “What’s iCarly?” It’s so epic!!

“They’re both horrible in their own ways!” Is that any way to talk to one’s best friend and her mother?

“Nyehhh! Nyehhh!” I have a theory. I think that whatever the goat did on Carly’s birthday, she got something in her. That would explain her goat-like screams.

“You got girl cramps?” It kills me.

Carly’s claustrophobic.

Aww, Sam. This was your second major act of altruism anyone has ever seen. You know what the first was…

A sentimental moment between the two Pucketts.

I can hear Sam’s voice starting to crack. Was she supposed to do that?

They kiss and make up. While Carly crawls on the floor screeching like a goat, due to her claustrophobia.

And Spencer’s idea worked, as impossible as it may seem.

My opinion on the episode: From the moment I found out that Jane Lynch was gonna be in the episode, I knew it was impossible for the episode not to be funny. And I was right! This was one of the best iCarly episodes ever. Jane’s performance was incredible! Actually, “incredible” seems like an understatement. Sam and Pam’s interaction is off-the-charts awesome. The new credits are fantastic, really.

So, until we meet again, have a Seddietastic Seddietember and have your daily Seddie fix!

Incredible news!!

Hello, my wonderfully amazing group of people who like to read this blog-thingy!! If you’re here then you must have somehow found my site. I’m guessing it was either from Google or something.

This blog recently got the attention of certain people who live within this wonderful universe. I’m talking about someone who’s admired by many people the world over, and no, I’m not talking about Ryan Seacrest (but how awesome would it be if Ryan, I’m sorry, Mr. Seacrest actually saw this blog?)

The person I’m talking about is none other than, Mr. Warp, Dan Schneider!

That’s right, folks! Our good friend will be reading my review on the upcoming episode iSam’s Mom!

I know you all take my word for it, but there are a few skeptical people who won’t believe my words. To them, I say this:

“A picture is worth a thousand words.”

This is huge, I know. for a blog that is only 1 month old, this is, as the title says, incredible news!

Also, I have a Seddie contest going on and would like more participants. More info on it here.

So, my friends, get ready, the next review is going to knock you guys out. A RobSp1derp1g promise.

Until the next review, have a Seddietastic Seddietember and have your daily Seddie fix!

PS: Oh, and for those who care, Phoebe returned yesterday. So, the next review will have lots of sound effects!!

iSam’s Mom Speculation! – Em Português!

Speculation for iSam’s Mom in English. – Click Here

A especulação deste episódio foi escrita diante de um público ao vivo e não é recomendada a pessoas com problemas cardíacos. Eu não aceito qualquer responsabilidade por nenhum episódio cardiaco que possa ocorrer ao ler esta especulação.

Em primeiro lugar, gostaria de apresentar a minha gestora de som e assistente, Phoebe! Phoebe, diz olá aos leitores. *Phoebe diz olá e acena.* Aqui a Phoebe vai substituir o Steve que foi despedido a semana passada e teve um acidente. Lembra-me para lhe mandar algumas flores. *Phoebe toma notas* Read the rest of this entry

iSam’s Mom Speculation!

Speculation for iSam’s Mom in Portuguese, click here.

This episode’s speculation is written before a live studio audience and is not recommended to people with heart problems. I accept no responsability for any cardiac episode that may occur while reading this speculation.

First and foremost, I would like to introduce my new sound manager and assistant, Pheobe! Phoebe, say hi to the readers. *Phoebe says hi and waves.* Phoebe here will be replacing Steve who was fired last week and had an accident. Remind me to send him some flowers. *Phoebe takes notes.* Read the rest of this entry


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