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iOpen A Restaurant Review

Welcome to the iOpen a Restaurant review. Shall we get on with it?

»Scene 1 – iCarly webcast«

Drilling meat. Two words that have never been used together… Even MS Word has trouble recognizing it.

“Science Fact of The Day?” Is it possible that iCarly has connections to the people behind the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, Aperture Science, also known as Aperture Labs?

Einstein’s alive?

Never mix clam juice and soy sauce. It causes you to explode…

“Can’t argue with Science.”

Spencer drunk both liquids and now he’s ok… okay, he exploded, leaving only his shoes…

Follow @CoolEinstein! You’ll learn something new every time. He’s like Bunsen Jude “The Science Dude”.

»Sometime later«

Grandpa Shay is worried about Spencer’s wellbeing, because he exploded.

The Shays have been robbed! Someone stole the TV, and the computer…

And Spencer is wearing Carly’s bathrobe.

Don’t, Spencer!

»Title Credits«

»Scene 2 – Ridgeway High«

Carly’s showing pics the cops sent her to Freddie.

I think I know that guy…

Carly’s right, he doesn’t care.

Carly’s worried about Gibby, she says it’s not like him to miss 2 classes in a row.

Now, here’s the line that created a fan war last Saturday, “Is it too late for you to love me?”

I think this is just an outburst from Freddie. But more on that later.

Sam arrives to tell Carly and Freddie that Gibman (yeah, Gibman) is in the school basement.

Carly’s relief is evident in her voice when she says “Is he okay?” He’s okay, by Gibby standards.

Go, go with Sam.

»Some time later«

The gang arrives at the basement. It’s full of spider webs.

Gibby welcomes the gang. The way he said it reminds me of movies with brain-washing religious cults.

He has wanted to open a restaurant… for as long as he can remember. And what better location for a restaurant than a high school basement?

It could actually work, Carly…

“Dreamspitter?” That’s a new one… But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since there are parents that name their kids “Bartzina” and Hayley Dreamsmasher Smith. Look them up.

Opening a restaurant on the roof does have its advantages… Fresh air, amazing view…

Freddie goes in to support Carly, but he asks if there would be lasagna. Personally, I don’t like lasagna. The first time I had some it was really messed up.

And then Sam asks if there would be tater tots. I don’t know if I ever had that. I don’t know what that is.

A waterpark underground, Carly? Really?

Freddie is going to follow Carly up. And Sam starts to get suspicious…

“You got a new little crush on her?” Yeah, Freddie, she did ask you that. And if I may quote the Dark Prince from Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones (I’m a nerd, sue me.) “I eagerly await your response.”

And as Freddie walks upstairs, you can see that Sam is upset about that.

See? Look at her face…

Gibby comes to the rescue, but Sam intervenes: “Too close.”

»Scene 3 – Bushwell Plaza«

Okay, now I’m starting to get a little curious. Freddie’s going back to his old ‘crushing on Carly’ ways? Let’s see who wrote this episode…

“Written by Dan Schneider and Jake Farrow”. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sure there’s a pretty sure there’s an explanation for Freddie’s behavior. Now, to find it…

I must admit, having 37 external flashes hit your eyes simultaneously seems like a lot.

37,000? Dude, that’s impressive!

Another one?

»Scene 4 – Ridgeway High Basement – Gibby’s«

Carly and Freddie are amazed that Gibby has actually managed to open a restaurant. By now, they should have somehow realized that anything is possible in a Dan Schneider show.

Carly still can’t believe it. Two words: it’s butter.

Only cool people can eat at Gibby’s. Friends of theirs. Even though I don’t know who the guy in the right table is. Or the hot girl next to him… I think I’m in love. But I’ve never talked to her. Can any of you introduce me? Cookie for whoever gets the reference.

Red pepper on pasta? Not my cup of tea, to be honest.

Sam has a cousin who has a nose. Shocker.

“So, I’ll hook it up?”
“Hook it, baby!”

Sibby shippers must be high right now…

Red pepper lemonade? That’s a first…

And Carly’s running around looking fo- Dayum… There’s some amazing girls in this school…

Okay, okay, we get it! You don’t like the lemonade…

»Commercial break«

»Scene 6 – Gibby’s Gibby’s«

Gibby’s has a new look. Round metal tables and a more roadside diner style. That is, comparing to the roadside diners I see on TV.

There’s a kid that just returned from juvie. Billy Boots.

Gibby doesn’t take his shirt off anymore. At least, not without a good reason.

Oh, no. Someone just pissed Gibby off… And that’s not a good thing to do.

So, when you insult Gibby, you get free stuff at his restaurant?

Oh, it’s just like in Buttersock 3: Return of the Buttersock…

»Scene 7«

Spencer called Carly and Freddie in from school, to show them his new toy/security system.

I must admit, this looks quite dangerous…

Okay, 1200 ft/s… That equals about… 818.1799 miles per hour or 365.7584 meters/second. Math…

Damn, those popcorn kernels are made of what? Metal?

»Meanwhile, back at Gibby’s«

Gibby’s back… Back again…

Sam to the rescue! It still amazes me that Sam can overpower anyone. And I wish to test that.

»Meanwhile, thousands of miles away«

As I wrote this, I had a MAJOR dejá vu moment.

Spencer, Carly and Freddie are going to use Mrs. Benson as bait, to turn off the kill machine.

When all else fails, unplug the machine.

»Scene 8«

Professor Howard is back from the moon… I don’t recall if he was killed by the Decepticons…

Mr. Howard, you can see all the restaurant supplies here, so the simplest answer, and the most obvious one is, “DUH!”

All the good things come to an end… and as such, Gibby’s will close…

And they say professors aren’t nice…

What was your favorite thing about this episode? Let me know through the comments!

iGo One Direction Review

WARNING – This episode contains copious amounts of One Direction. Women with heart conditions are advised not to look directly at One Direction. This also applies to women without heart conditions. They’re very pretty – see? See how pretty they are? They’re very pretty! I’d like to run my fingers through their hair; and I’m just text! Anyway, without further ado, enjoy your iCarly episode.

Welcome, everyone, to the review of iGo One Direction. You’ve read the warning and by reading this either out loud or to yourself, you’re agreeing not to sue.

»Scene 1 – Carly and Spencer just arrived home«

From this image, one can assume that the Shays went to Mexico. And that Spencer STILL hasn’t gotten muscles. You know why? Because, despite the fact that his sister is at least 10 years younger than him, and that she’s a bit sick, SHE’s the one carrying all the bags…

“Maybe I should take you to a doctor…” Maybe? I don’t think that there’s any need for that… There a psychotic nurse right across the hall, perhaps she cou… Yeah, a doctor’s better… Probably Dr. Dresdin, who lives in 10-G. Or, if you’re really in a hurry, Dr. Who!

There’s a party going on in the apartment of the Shays! It looks like a pre-4th of July (which I hope to celebrate this year), complete with a barbecue, kids in a kiddie pool, and videogames!

“She okay?”
“No, she’s like dying.” And you STILL haven’t taken her to a doctor, or your neighbor.

There’s a Gibby head watching the video game.

What’s the problem, Gib? Are you afraid of worms?

Of course Sam would know about jungle worms…

Poor Carly… but the stakes are ready.

»Title Sequence«

»Scene 2«

Gibby is rubbing Sam’s feet. However, if I did not see it, and just heard it, I wouldn’t say that they were rubbing feet.

These replies to Spencer were actually pretty awesome!

“Hey, guys! Guess what I got?”
“A woman?”
“A job?”
“A friend your own age?”

So, Spencer got an exercise machine… actually, for a moment there, I thought I heard Spencer say exorcise machine… I actually did…

Uhh, the Omniflex… Omni, meaning “all”, and flex, meaning “physical effort”.

Is that… Is that a single popcorn on your navel? Navel means belly button…

Freddie received an e-mail from the manager of a British band. Who are they? Take That? Franz Ferdinand? Muse? (Actually, a serious note here: Muse were the favorite band of a friend of mine who recently passed away.) Coldplay? (“You know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.”) David Bowie? (“I’m not David Bowie”) The Beatles?

Oh, it’s WandErection, I mean, One Direction… Never heard of them…

Gibby’s a big fan of them…

If I may quote the e-mail: “Dear Freddie (Oh my God), in response to your e-mail, my clients, One Direction, will be in the Seattle area later this week, and they would love to appear on iCarly and perform a song.” That’s huge for them, first Plain White T’s, now One Direction, who’s next? James Blunt? Taylor Swift? Maroon 5? Uh, uh, Gym Class Heroes with Adam Levine!!!

Look at this! This is Cutting Room Flow!

If I didn’t know it’s a fake software, I’d probably download it illegally…

»Scene 3«

Spencer’s getting a visit and a package for Spencer Spay. Oh, the subliminal messages…

You’re a personal exercise trainer?

Spencer unknowingly fixed a babe magnet…

»Scene 4 – iCarly studio«

Freddie is working with the camera…

A few things to retain: Sam texted Freddie from jail. But she’s just visiting…

Carly saved Freddie from a possible infection with Jungle Worms.

It has been a very long time since I got to say this, Gibby suited up! Look at the Gibster:

He might just be the biggest male fan of 1D…

And Sam, who just got here from prison, announces that WandErection, I mean One Direction have arrived. And Gibby unleashes the inner fangirl. Basically, he does what I would do if I saw any of the 33 names I have on my phone… All of those names are female.

Yeah, I know… In my opinion, the use of this image was WAY overdue…

One Direction are performing a song. And that song is “What Makes You Beautiful.”

Sam makes a quick announcement: “I’m not currently dating anyone.” Please note this look on Freddie’s face:

And, of course, Gibby’s foot massages. He has, according to Spencer, “the hands of a goddess”.

British sandwiches…

Carly leaves the water bottle with the cute Texan water bottle holder unprotected near the tech cart.

 
I would like to thank @VillayCescilove for identifying the members of 1D.

I don’t know if you know this but it’s 5 of them… “Just putting that out there…”

!Would you guys autograph my sister’s scrapbook?” I didn’t know Taylor was a fa… Sister’s? Then why does it have a G on the cover?

Okay, I must say this: I’ve been speaking English for over 10 years now, 7 of those were spent learning British English, and I can’t understand what they say! Luckily, I have a transcript. Let me check… Oh, yeah, Harry asked Louis if there was any water. And Louis says “Ova ther…”

“Handgoons” Yeah, in America, we use them bloody handgoons to kill people…

»Sometime later…«

Spencer is combing his not-so-lady-like hair for his personal exercise trainer time.

Sam likes One Direction… Is that why Freddie’s joining a band? Pretzels for thought…

Spencer, she doesn’t care. Like, at all…

What the deuce? Who’s the incredibly rude girl?

“Kid, what are you doing?”
“Smelling this fudge!” Isn’t it obvious, Spencer?

“My mother said you were gonna exercise me!” Should I be the one to let you know that this sounds like there’s another connotation to this sentence?

I can’t believe Spencer is helpless towards a kid…

»Some time later«

Geez, hum, what’s his name… Right, Harry’s feeling really bad… He can’t even stand…

Gibby, go sit in the…

Yeah, there. Stay there.

You feel cold? And thirsty? You know what that means, don’t you? It means you read the wrong part of the script!

Carly gave Harry Styles jungle worms? Dun, dun, dun…

»Commercial break«

»Scene 4, Carly’s room«

Dr. Dresden is taking care of Harry.

“Is he better?”
”I think so… or maybe not.” What kind of doctor are you?

“We’re so lucky to have a doctor right here in the building.” Still thinking a psychotic nurse would be better…

Here’s a nice pun: Harry wants fruit cut into cubes, the way only Carly does. ‘Cause “that’s what makes you beautiful.”

»Some time later«

Spencer’s forcing that kid to get some exercise, while Spencer eats.

45 seconds!

Spencer’s like me, he can’t see a girl cry.

Bethany’s not awkward, she just has a very bad personality.

A makeover?

»Scene 7 – Groovy Smoothie«

San Francisco! The city the show Monk takes place in!

Note that Sam’s reaction is an actual effect obtained from being around celebrities. Go to a celebrity, ask them to say the name of a country or city and watch the results.

Harry’s having all of his needs taken care of…

T-Bo’s taking pics of 1D with his pearPhone.

“…he’s having a good time at Hotel Carly-fornia.” What a lovely place, what a lovely place, what a lovely place.

Butter Sock 4: The Re-Return of The Butter Sock.

“Is that a sock?”
“Full of butta?”

Freddie wants to “replace” Harry from 1D, forcing him to admit that he’s just in it for the lulz, I mean, for Carly’s attention.

“Who with?”

Here’s the question that is on EVERYONE’s mind. Who will replace Harry? Who has the raw talent, predisposition to sing and intricate knowledge of OneDirection’s songs that is required to sing with the group? Ali Brustofski? Megan Nicole? Uh, uh, Aria Summer Wallace!

This guy.

Harry admits he’s feeling better and that he’ll be able to perform on iCarly, on the condition that they never let Gibby sing, or dance ever again.

And as usual, Gibby’s not in on it.

»Some time later«

Spencer is giving a little girl a makeover. It’s Extreme Makeover: Kid Edition.

Agh, my eyes!!

“We need some kind of resolution!” I hear the fourth wall breaking.

»Scene 8 – iCarly webcast«

The girls just presented One Direction.

I’ve been on Twitter for a while now. And every day, I hear about One Direction but never thought about it. But this song is awesome!

Sam kidnapped Zayn?

Guys, get ready! Tomorrow there’s another iCarly episode tomorrow. It’s called iOpen a Restaurant! And it is gonna be fun… I guess…

iApril Fools Review

Rob’s Reviews, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. RobSp1derp1g, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law. 

Welcome, faithful readers! We bring you today my review to iApril Fools, another episode of iCarly!

First of all, I have to apologize. This review was done when I wasn’t feeling too well, and I had some stuff holding me down…

Let’s get started!

This time, the gang warns us that this is not an usual episode of iCarly. And it is not for normal people. And the answer for it is… soup.

»Title Credits«

These credits are a bit different… There’s a montage with pics of them when they started doing iCarly and how they are now. And there’s fire and lightning in the middle…

There’s a box with items which belong to @DanWarp. Here, take a look:

»Scene 1 – Bushwell Plaza, Shays’ very bare living room«

Are the Shays moving?

The Shays have been EVICTED? That is a TERRIBLE way to spend April Fools! Mine’s gonna be more creative… Then again, not that much…

I find it harder to believe that the owner’s name is Bushwell than Carly stabbed him…

10 o’clock PST? I’m on DST, so what time is that on GMT?

“Sure had a lot of good times on this place.”
“Yeah, we sure had…” Oh, God, here it comes, reminiscing time…
“Agreement.”

“You guys remember the time we were all sitting around watching that TV show?”
“What episode of that TV show?”
“You mean the one where the characters talk about crazy stuff that happened in previous episodes?” Isn’t that all TV shows?
“And then they flashback to the scenes they were talking about?” Yup, that’s ALL TV shows.

Reminiscing time!

Dan Schneider is talking in the TV! It is my belief that this is an episode (with flashback) of Head Of The Class..

That’s the 2nd time I’ve ever seen people so excited about flashbacks…

Gibby comes in from the elevator to steal something…

The new tenants are from France! *le gasp*

Gibby hit Spencer in the head with the STOP sign he stole…

But Sam tells him that is not how April Fools works… so Gibby kisses Spencer on the cheek and runs away…

They’re going away against their wishes, so they are having a party, complete with a party bush…

T-Bo’s invited too, so Sam calls him.

T-Bo’s a genie?

And T-Bo proceeds to do the same thing Gibby did, smack Spencer in the head with a STOP sign.

“Will you just take us to the next scene, please?”

Hard cut to…

»Scene 2 – Party’s location«

Freddie’s NOT partying without a party bush… He wants it so bad he starts to feel a bit ill due to not having a party bush…

That’s the power of magic. T-Bo blinks and they get a party bush… but is it me, or it’s a bit dry?

Ah, iCarly… I used to love that webshow… Now? I still do…

They are going to think back on the reason they started iCarly…

Whoa! They have suddenly been transported to school! There is some Butterfly Effect chiz going on here…

This is the event that led to the creation of iCarly… After this, Freddie uploaded Carly and Sam’s video and accidentally created iCarly…

After the final denial from Ms. Briggs, Carly and Sam the scene cuts to… What?

That’s Ms. Briggs from another universe which is not this one!!

If their energies collide, there will be an explosion with galactic proportions!

FIRE IN THE HOLE!! TAKE COVER!! That is the example of over 6 years playing Counter Strike and Call of Duty… If I may quote Jeffrey Albertson (known to many as Comic Book Guy), “life well spent!”

It’s an explosion of galactic proportions, but it’s confined to a few inches… and it’s perfectly safe to walk on the blast radius afterwards. Look:

“We should start a webshow.”
“Okay, what do we call it?”

And here’s the kicker, non-nerd Freddie actually trying to be a nerd.

And of course, who could forget Sparky.

And Freddie can move while in freeze frame!

See? What did I tell you? Going to a re-enactment of the past changed the course of Blitztory! *ghost-like whispers* Blitz…

“What time is it?” It’s time for Spencer to be hit in the head with a STOP sign, AGAIN… However, despite the caps, I find it very amusing…

Poachy? Sounds strangely familiar and delicious…

Here they go again…

Oh, the harp…

Miko?

The girls are intelligent, don’t get me wrong, I thought that girls like these had been discontinued, but sometimes they can be so thick headed!

Miko is able to predict the future… look:

Gibby, you’re violating the rules of flashingbacking!

There’s an Asian guy knocked out in your studio. You start dancing like a cowboy in Texas…

Yet another flashback. I didn’t know the Shays had a cat… Is it me, or isn’t that cat Jackson, Dan’s cat?

There’s an old saying, Gibby, and it goes like this: “Take me by the tongue and I’ll know you” See what I did there? Nah, the saying is “Payback’s a [CENSORED]”

»Commercial Break«

“We’re back!”
“Back from what?”
“I dunno…”

Let me clarify some things. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a party bush, but talking party bushes? That’s epic, dawg…

T-Bo just watered the bush…

Now, they talk about Carly’s lack of bad moods. And they are proven wrong, in a flashbacking way.

Huh? What are they doing in Tori Vega from Victorious’s house? And that’s the former blogger who alienated his friends by writing about them!!

It’s like a virus… “just leave it all to me”

Spencer’s really long hair… like a lady’s.

It was when iSaved Your Life aired. “12 million viewers…”

Spencer’s ladylike hair…

Here comes Mr. Bushwell.

Just one question, why does Gibby take down his pants when he gets depressed?

Think back, Mr. Bushwell…

Look! It’s the Doc! He brings a warning!

Go back to a future episode!!

And here’s the obvious reference to Back to the Future, in which there is a mention to the possibility of Seddie children.

And T’bo’s time machine!!

This episode shows that you don’t need to have a storyline to have a good time… Stupid line, I know…

And again, I’m sorry about the delay.

Disco Stu Will Review iQ

You said it, Stu!

This week’s iCarly episode, the first after the Seddie arc, is called iQ. FYI, my iQ is 110. At least, it was when I last applied for MENSA…

As you might know, Seddie broke up in the last episode, but then, there was something… So, I’ll analyze their interactions with each other.

Let the review begin!

The episode begins with the iCarly gang having fun on the Groovy Smoothie.

Carly and Sam are laughing at something Freddie doesn’t find very amusing…

Apparently, Freddie’s mom lost US$ 20,000 on chickens. Sorry, one chicken and one rooster. I am so glad he said “rooster”.

Breeding chickens is the easiest thing to do! You put them in the same chicken coot together, then you… like… turn the chicken coot lights down…

“I’m sorry your mom lost 20 thousand… bdoing.” ‘Bdoing’ can be understood as something else.

A guy who the girls consider hot just entered the GS. GS stands for Groovy Smoothie, not Gold and Silver.

She proceeds to talk to him and a very badly engineered play, the “Text in the Turned-Off Phone”.

Then we see this:

This is the first of many pics that I will share with you today. Seddiemania gave me the idea of watching every interaction between Sam and Freddie and analyze their microexpressions, body language, and stuff like that. Well here, I bring you the “It looks like I’m looking at Freddie but in reality I’m actually looking at Carly and see how she acts around this new guy” look. Certainly, it will get better.

Does this guy speak in code or something? Oh,he’s british… Wait, he’s british? *Chuckles* Fangirls, attack!

I think I can speak british too. Lift, taxi, apartment, colour, fish and chips, God save the Queen, fanny, harpoon!

Since most of you will not understand this new guy, due to him being super smart, I’ll translate what he says.

“Ah, Carly! The name of the comely vixen who assuages king Thurman`s cohort after the demise of his corpulent mother.”
This means “Carly, that’s the name of the woman who calmed king Thurman’s soldiers after his mother’s death.”

“iCarly? I think I’ve heard of it.” What, you don’t ‘ave Internet in London, mate?

“Teenage satire?” Can’t say I’ve ever heard that.

“You do teenage satire with a piquant wit?”
Translation: “You make fun of teenage stuff with a salty language.”

“You have nice eyes.”
“They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.”
“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend so, why don’t you open up a window?” That’s like the LAMEST line I’ve ever heard.

T-Bo is having some problems with a guy in a suit. Oh, a health inspector. How’s he bothering you, Teebs?

T-Bo’s been evicted! Where’s he gonna live?

The guy Carly’s after is named Kyle.

He just said something, but all I heard was “I haven’t watched iCarly yet, but, when I get home… website…”

“You know, I haven`t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to ingurgitate your website voraciously.”
Translation: “I haven’t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to gulp your website.”

»Title Credits«

»Scene 1: Bushwell Plaza, Shay loft«

Spencer’s cracking a safe. I should try that one day…

I used to do that in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. One of the best games I’ve ever played.

The junkyard. We really should see that.

T-Bo slept in a pond?

Whoa, that’s a big fork.

“We like it when your mom cries.” Oh, Sammy…

Then, the impossible happens. Spencer has a great idea. Mrs. Benson can rent the room to T-Bo.

Carly’s got a text on her phone.

This is a real question, to which I want a real answer: Do girls really take about 4 hours to get ready?

It’s like the old saying goes: If at first you don’t succeed in opening the safe, you cut it with a chainsaw.

»Scene 2: Premiere Theater«

It’s the Premiere Theater! Dan must have flown it from San Diego!

Carly and Kyle went watching a foreign movie, I’m sorry, a film called “Ick Glokmah” which is foreign for Foreign Film. Yeah, I can speak foreign.

Unfortunately, my foreign skills aren’t too good, so I can’t understand what the people in that film are saying.

“Great film!”
“You enjoyed the first half?” What is this a soccer game?

“This is an intermission. There’s 2 more hours to go.” Kyle, a word of advice, if I may. Say “break.”

You gotta love the boy’s enthusiasm. Look at it:

Carly has a lot of je-ne-sais-quoi. I don’t think she knows what that is…

“I like you… categorically.” Okay, how should I translate this… I actually don’t know!

Kyle had an obtuse ex-girlfriend who didn’t have the mental ability to enjoy a foreign film called “Foreign Film”. I think it’s better than that movie with the goat and the balloon…

“Oh, you are jocular!” She is, isn’t she? *whispers to Phoebe and Steve* What does jocular mean?

“I’ll fetch us a beverage from the concessionary.”
Translation: “I’ll get us some drinks from the lobby.”

Carly was too distracted with what he said she didn’t notice him leaning in to kiss her.

“Aw…” and reality kicks in. “2 more hours?”

»Meanwhile, at the Groovy Smoothie«

Sam and Freddie just gave the news to T-Bo that his wife’s having a baby. Just kidding. They just told him that Mrs. Benson has a spare bedroom that’s for rent.

You’d think it’d be awkward Sam and Freddie hanging out alone without Carly. Nope, we ALL thought that.

Here’s Gibby. I don’t recall seeing him again in this episode…

They need to change T-Bo into Mr. Terrence Bo. Hard task.

»Scene 4: Shay apartment«

Spencer’s STILL trying to open the safe. He’s not having that much luck. While Carly arrives home with Kyle in tow. I’ve always wanted to say that…

The safe destroyed a chainsaw blade? Go, safe!

“You know, that safe is probably made of carbonized iron.” Saying ‘steel’ is too lame, corny, cliché, whatever. He said ‘carbonized iron’, which makes it better, even though they are exactly the same thing. Well, they aren’t the same thing, it depends on the level of carbon included in the iron…

It’s always about the molecular structure, isn’t it, Kyle?

Kyle, another word of advice. There’s being polite, and there’s making out with a girl. These aren’t mutually exclusive, but being too polite and making out with a girl are. Besides, you only stayed in for about 2 minutes.

Carly’s clear hint amazes me. But Kyle’s obliviousness amazes me even more. Yes, I said obliviousness. Yes, I know it doesn’t really apply here.

“The socio-political implications of the film we saw earlier.”
Translation: Unknown.

Kyle isn’t all you hoped for, eh, Carly?

“…and I need a pretty boyfriend!” *Clears throat to draw attention to himself then points at himself* Get the hint, Carly? I’m lonely and available.

“My nose is bleeding. Weird, huh?” Come on, Spencer, don’t you know the meaning of subtlety?

“Oh, all right, just make sure to tilt his head 15 degrees and maintain pressure on his septum so the blood coagulates.” That is actually good advice…

Now, who studies for a date?

»Intermission«

Hi, I’m RobSp1derp1g with and an important message for all iCarly fans.

All reviewers are professional fans. The reviews we write on the blog take years to perfect and do safely.

I urge all iCarly fans not to copy what we do here, at home or at school.

Stay safe. Don’t try this.

»Scene 5: iCarly Studio«

Carly’s studying for her date, Freddie’s preparing the webshow and Sam’s flirting with the big fork.

Freddie asks Sam to help him with a camera check. She denies. Then he asks Carly. She says she’s studying for a date. It’s not something you hear every day.

Learning about boring Russian films and Mandarin Chinese can be fun.

“Wo bu ja dao” Are you having a seizure, Carly?

Snowman Gibby reporting for duty. The amount of times I’ve written Gibby on Microsoft Word  is so big, Word should have looked it up.

Who said purple is out of style? We’re Seddiers, we have purple lenses in our eyes. And this is an example of such lenses:

Purple PearBook and PearPad. Sam and Freddie wearing red and blue. ‘Nuff said.

Sam has the idea of cheating on a date. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

“You’ll be as smart as the Internet.”
“The Internet is pretty smart.”

The iCarly webshow commences. With a big fork.

»Scene 6: Bushwell Plaza, Apartment 8C (It’s easier this way)«

Carly’s set up for her date with Google, I mean Kyle. And Spencer’s still trying to open the safe, this time with a blowtorch.

Notes about foreign language. Noted. (smart pun, huh?)

“I gotta keep my fork shiny and lubed in case a meal breaks out.” I get the shiny part, but lubed?

T-Bo arrives for his makeover with some baked artichokes on a stick. It wouldn’t be T-Bo if he didn’t.

“I’m already wearing my fancy underpants…” Huh, okay?

There is such a thing as date bread…

Carly, that’s a danger, leaving Spencer unsupervised while he plays with fire…

Before opening the door, Carly shakes herself.

“Do I detect the aroma of a mélange of epicurean delights?”
Translation: “Do I smell a mixture of pleasurable delights?”

“Ablute” meaning wash up. He wants to wash up

»Meanwhile, upstairs in the iCarly studio«

Sam, Freddie and Gibby take T-Bo to Overhaulin.

And T-Bo’s been Overhauled!

Did Gibby become a taylor?

»Meanwhile, downstairs«

Kyle and Carly are happily dining.

“Ambrosial” means extremely pleasant to the taste.

A note, Carly. If you want to point out random facts during dinner, make sure you know them beforehand.

You don’t know the statue’s name, do you?

Hard cut to…

»8th floor hallway«

Freddie and Terrence arrive at the Benson apartment for the interview.

We are shown the Benson’s living room. This is a unique opportunity to analyze it and get to know what’s beneath Mrs. Benson’s habits. We may never get this chance again. I don’t want to do it right now.

Terrence has lots of time, but he must be on church at 9 PM. He’s part of the choir. Seriously now, I used to go to church on a Saturday night. It allowed me to sleep in on Sundays…

»Meanwhile, next door…«

Carly knows something that Kyle doesn’t? It’s a sign of the apocalypse!! Call the fire department! The Earth’s gonna explode!!

Carly, how could you tape cheat notes to the bottom of your plate? Use the table, it’s easier…

I facepalmed when I saw this:

“Rusha”, “Square, all sides r equal”, 2+2, triangle. All of that for what?

He tries to leave, and she says “I don’t lie while I’m kissing!” Reminds me of an similar situation on American Pie…

All of this while Sam watches. Personally, I think that’s not well done.

»Scene 7«

Spencer’s attaching something to the safe, and Sam’s trying to get Carly to feel better. She even gives her her big fork back. Why? She got another, bigger fork.

T-Bo’s now the neighbor of Carly Shay.

Spencer attached C4 explosives to the safe? Courtesy of Boomer, Socko’s cousin.

And inside the safe is, another safe!! This one is easier to crack.

And that concludes my iQ review. Hope you guys liked it! Please comment.

iTeach micro-expressions on iCarly

Hello, people. RobSp1derp1g’s here once again.

I’ve recently been told that I have a useless blog that doesn’t teach anything. Well, that about to change! I’m here to teach you about micro expressions using examples from iCarly.

Now, a bunch of you know about a show on FOX called “Lie To Me” starring Tim Roth. That show was about a man, named Dr. Cal Lightman who can tell whenever you’re lying. He analyzes everything in your body, from the position of your hands to the way you tilt your head, to the simplest scratching of your eyebrow. Nothing escapes the guy. And look out, ladies, he’s British. And from watching pretty much every episode of the show, I’ve learned a few tricks.

For example, there are 43 muscles used in micro-expressions, which, when combined can sum up to a total of 10,000 micro-expressions.

There are 7 basic micro-expressions: anger, disgust, surprise, happiness, fear, sadness, contempt.

With these 7, you can identify a whole range of emotions.

Let’s now delve deep into these expressions. There are images about this with Tim Roth’s face on them, but since I cannot use them, I’ll use examples from iCarly.

Before I do, though, a warning. This stuff is pretty cool, but if you’re too into it, it’ll ruin your life. All people are allowed to have secrets, and if you go around trying to find them, people will be angry, and it may lead to other problems in your life. Just saying.

Anger
Contempt
Disgust
Fear
Happiness
Sadness
Surprise

Onwards and upwards! This is a common sentence used by scientists, even though Science should always look at all directions. Bones reference.

Anger

 

Anger can lead to a lot of unexpected situations so, one always should know how to identify it and, if possibly, defuse it.

Carly's angry because Sam and Freddie didn't tell her they kissed.

You can see that Carly’s pretty angry here. You can identify anger through several signs, the most common being the person shouting and overall being angry. But before these outbursts, you might be able to spot the eyebrows being down and pushed together, the eyes shooting a glare, possibly at the reason for the anger, and the lips being narrowed. The image above doesn’t really show it, because Carly’s talking.

Also, here’s another example:

If a girl, or anyone for that matter, looks at you like that, my advice is only one word: RUN!

Can you see the murderous intent on Carly’s eyes?

Contempt

 

This is the one I’d never find on iCarly. iCarly isn’t going to show a character feeling contempt for another, that’d just be…, well, not iCarly-ish. So, I was forced to go find an image that showed it. And I did. The credits for this image go to empathicperspectives.wordpress.com, who have a page with more on the subject than this simple page. Also to Tim Roth, who’s actually on the image.

Disgust

 

Want to feel disgust? Look at this picture. Just kidding.

This one’s easy, just think back at any time where any character shrugged. Or just try this:

If you looked at the image above, you’re probably feeling it right now. But in all seriousness, look at this:

Sam's disgusted at something someone's wearing.

You can identify disgust by noticing the nose wrinkles near the eyes, and the raised upper lip.

As you can see this one is pretty easy to identify.

Fear

 


This is the most common expression of fear. Your 2 best friends are about to fall down to their untimely demise and you’re scared. You’d be senseless not to be scared. But here’s the micro-expression:

Freddie: "Wait, I'm gonna have to jump? I won't live to kiss Sam 3 times! Or 4, considering Melanie doesn't exist..."

When a person experiences fear, the person’s eyebrows are raised and pushed together, the upper eyelids rise, the lower eyelids tense up and the lips stretch back to the ears.

Happiness

 

Happiness is probably the easiest one to identify, because when a person is happy, the world outside reflects that happiness!

But here’s how to ID happiness:

The chance to go to space would make anyone happy. Except those who get airsick.

Sam’s face includes crow’s feet wrinkles, which are always included in a real happy smile, as well as pushed up cheeks and movement from the muscle that orbits the eyes.

Sadness

 

Sam’s a girl with a lot of emotions, she gets sad once in a while too…

It hurts me to do this, but I have to.

The upper eyelids start to fall, your eyes lose focus and your lips’ corners drop down slightly.

Surprise

 

Possibly the easiest one. Carly with Sam at the dentist’s office and afterward, when Carly asks Sam and Freddie why didn’t they tell her.

Signs: the eyebrows are up, the eyes get wide, and the mouth opens in a gasp.

Remember, these expressions can appear and disappear IN LESS THAN 1 SECOND, so keep your eyes focused and ready!

RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews. Changing the iCarly blogosphere, one post at a time.

iPity The Nevel review

Hello, and again, welcome to RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews computer-aided blog. We hope the time you spent watching iPity The Nevel has been a pleasant one. The episode has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the review proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all the blog’s posts, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from stop reading this review until it’s finished. If you finish the review, there will be cake. The review will start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

First of all, I’d like to apologize. This episode’s review came a little later than the rest, due to my personal life and iOMG been being announced and all the subsequent speculation that followed.

This episode of iCarly contains vampires, which will give me an unique oportunity to write a lot of vampire jokes, most of them shamelessly copied from Vampires Suck. No copyright infringment intended.

Oh, and one more thing: *Mr. T voice* I pity the fool who isn’t excited to see iOMG Part 2. If anyone was insulted, my apologies.

—————————————-
Location: Shay’s kitchen
—————————————-

Freddie’s sitting at the computer, while Spencer is sitting in the couch, doing something…

Freddie’s editing a mini video for iCarly.com. Oh, my mistake, turns out he’s “Frediting”. I don’t really know what that is. Carly kinda laughs at the joke.

“You really thought that was funny?” “No…” You have to admit, Freddie, that joke was kinda lame.

“What’s Fredly working on?” Well, Fredly’s work… Wait… Fredly?

“Look what I made!” Spencer, calm down, your sister’s talking…

What is an egg shooter? I’m afraid to know the answer.

So, it’s a water gun that was converted to use raw eggs… Neat. Does it work?

I should have foreseen that…

I don’t know if you guys know that TV show “Heroes”, it was about a bunch of people who had extraordinary abilities. Some would fly, some read minds, some controlled the space-time continuum. Well, it turns out that our friend Spencer here has the power of pyrokinesis. Create fire from nothing. Either that or a really cool special effect.

“A perfect Christmas gift”? I’m afraid I didn’t really understand this line.

Here comes Sam, she’s really in a hurry about a video that’s online…

“Going down!” Freddie has crashed…

I was unaware that Spencer knew another Nevel, and he’s a pianist.

“I’m gonna go ride bikes with Socko…” You do that, Spence…

The video is about Nevel. He has yelling at a little girl because she bumped into him and made him brake the last jar of some kind of pickles…

And they celebrate the downfall of Nevel A. Papperman…

—————————————-
Title Sequence
—————————————-

——————————————
Location: iCarly studio, broadcasting live
——————————————

The best way to prove ice is cold is: a) place a Gibby in a bathtub full of ice or b) insert water in the freezer. From then on, it’s a personal choice.

Whoa… Wait a minute. Maybe it’s my polluted mind (as my brother calls it), or does the following line have a double meaning?

Sam: “That proves it.”
Carly: “Ice is very cold.”
Sam: “Cold enough to freeze your Gibbys.”

I think it does…

iCarly premiere time. It’s time for the long-anticipated premiere of… of… *whispers* what’s the film name? Oh, right. Moonlight Twi-blood…

As Sam puts it, a vampire flick nobody needs or wants…

Let’s analyze Moonlight Twi-blood, a more terrible movie than “Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie”.

It’s the Cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought The Cowboy (“Cowboy” is read “Ca-buy”) was a Vampire.

The Idiot Farm Girl wants a vampire as a boyfriend… That’s totally what the girl on Twilight would do…

Introducing Fredward Cullen. He’s “eviler” than Edward Cullen and but still not funnier than Edward Sullen.

Notice the vampire voice. Attention ladies: he’s single! The only downfall is that he’ll stay that age for all eternity. The only thing that doesn’t is… Oh, I won’t say it, kids read this blog.

According to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you have to invite a vampire in order for him to go inside your house.

He pulled out the fangs. Look how pointy his fangs are…

Time for some narration:

“On the cold and dark (and wet) streets of Seattle, an Idiot Farm Girl has invited a vampire to her house… No one should do that. xoxo Gossip Girl”

She really wants him to be her vampire boyfriend… her VBF. ‘Cause that’s what she wants.

To computer experts much like myself, the letters VBF mean something entirely different.

But he can’t… he’s a monster… Come on, Fredward, there’s no need for that kind of low self-esteem… Kinda reminds me, of “You’re the fourth Jonas Brother” “I’m a killer!”

And if he tries to kiss the Idiot Farm Girl, he might bite her neck, you know, in a murderous fashion.

“You’re stupid…”

Time for some more narration:

“While the full moon is up there in the screen, I mean, sky, an evil vampire gang who looks like the Black Eyed Peas is trying to take over the world.” Oh, you know that’s not true, but still…

Fredward Cullen is in a love triangle. Those are always cool!!!

George!! Haven’t seen you in a while, you know, since you were FIRED!

George is fun to be around and he’s great with kids… but, he has a huge flaw that won’t allow him to be with the vampire… he’s a bra.

If every vampire did what Fredward did, there’d be much less victims of vampirism…

The End.

Now we get to see the Nevel video again…

“That’s why America now hates Nevel Papperman” They hated him first because of that awful review about them…

“We were ahead of the curve…”

Contoods!

“Goodnight nurse!”

Here comes the Gibster!

A Karma party is a party where you celebrate the failure and disappointments of your enemies. But remember, Carly, Karma works both ways…

“Just desserts.” This may have been the best applied line of dialog Freddie has ever had until this moment in time. Very good placement and acting…

————————————–
Location: Carly Shay’s Karma Party
————————————–

Welcome to the iCarly Karma Party! You celebrate the failure of Nevel Papperman. We got good tunes, piñatas, darts and the ladies get 1 drink free!

Chicken Karmesan?

Freddie’s been approached by 3 beautiful girls…

Whoa, apparently, Fredward Cullen’s voice makes even the most boring speech seem interesting.

Who’s the redheaded girl? I’ve seen her somewhere. I’m just not sure where that was…

Also, for fun, notice the blond girl.

Karma corn, Karma apples… What’s this?

“To Nevel’s misery!!”

————————————–
Location: Streets of Seattle
————————————–

Here he is, Nevel Papperman, walking in the streets of Seattle and drinking juice from a packet. Is his mom still in that cruise?

Please note how he carries with him a box (packet, bundle, whatever) of juice. Normally, hobos carry a bottle in a paper bag. Just letting you know.

Please notice the highlighted area. It’s too much for poor Nevel to see the reason for his downfall on a sitting bench like that. I mean, it’s because of Schneider’s All Varieties Gourmet Pickles that he is where he is. And he gets hit in the face with a burger.

And it starts raining on top of him.

And he gets wet. By a guy with a hose. Karma… It works in mysterious and weird ways…

——————————-
Transition to: Carly’s Karma Party
——————————-

The three girls from the other picture just left.

“Karmagain.” Understandable pun…

“One final toast to the downfall of Nevel Papperman!” Samantha, I’ll drink to that!

Liquid soap, Gibby?

Uh, Freddie’s got a text. From one of those 3 girls that left at the start of this scene. Here’s what she wrote:

“Freddie, you are so, so hot.” After he reads the text, he proceeds to giggle like a girl. Understandable, I’d do the same. But, so far, no girls have called me hot.

This is one of the moments in this episode that would be explained later on the show, namely about 3 weeks later.

“Man, what is it with girls? A guy acts like a stupid vampire on a screen and they get all floppy.”

Have you guys noticed that Sam employs the word “stupid” a lot more than the rest of the characters? I wonder why…

There’s a knock on the door. It’s the door to “The Twilight Zone.” Or maybe it’s “The Scary Door”, the Twilight Zone’s parody from Futurama.

Notice how the house is decorated. Full of anti-Nevel stuff. Imagine how Nevel would feel when he sees that.

It’s Nevel! I’m not here! –hides behind the kitchen counter-

“Nevel?”
“What’s he doing here?”
(in vampire voice) “I don’t know…”
Notice that Sam didn’t like that.

———————————–
Commercial Break
———————————–

Back to Bushwell Plaza.

Nevel is tied up in a not so comfortable position… with his hands tied to his feet.

But he complains about the fact that Gibby eats the pudding loudly.

“You hate us!” And not like Sam hates Freddie. Oh no, Rob, you didn’t…

Nevel makes an awesome heartfelt speech, but Gibby’s conclusion is the chiz. “This pudding rocks!”

“I hope you’ll be kind enough to untie me because I’ve lost all feeling in my hands and feet.”

He wants to show the world he regrets his behavior.

You’re willing to prove you’re a changed man, boy, person?

Sam never stops to amaze me…

What is this, Fear Factor? Nevel’s gonna have to dring half a can of Wahoo Punch from Sam’s sweaty sneaker. If he pulls this off, well, nothing’ll happen.

Sam carries a dead cricket in her sneaker… Not surprising.

Everyone’s reaction is the same. Disgust.

—————————
Location: The Groovy Smoothie
—————————

The iCarly gang is getting ready to record a part of the show from the Groovy Smoothie. Meanwhile Freddie gets an unexpected visitor.

Patrice approached Freddie. She’s clearly nervous, as indicated by her slight lip licking.

“Did you like what you saw?” “A lot.”

Freddie’s got himself a potential date… Again, Freddie, wait 3 weeks.

About this image there is few to say and much to admire. Freddie just asked the girls to allow him to make more vampire stuff on iCarly. Carly’s happy face indicates that she’s happy (duh) that Freddie’s having luck with girls. Sam, on the other hand, not so much. You can see she’s a little bothered by his success with the ladies.

Also, is that a compass she’s carrying around her neck? I thought I was the only one who did that…

This next moment is the previous scene in video form.

“America’s nr. 1 dipwad.” “Former dipwad.”

Let me get this straight, he’s screamed at a little girl, and to show how sorry he is, he offers people smoothies that he paid for and creamed corn made by him. I’m not convinced…

The recipe for the creamed corn comes from Nevel’s Grandpappy Papperman…

So, 1 error on this image.

We see www.danwarp.com on the address bar, but the site is iCarly.com.

Despite Nevel’s efforts, Stacey isn’t buying.

Funny how CreddieManiac is quoting Sam, isn’t it?

And what is HungryLisa saying?

What is Spencer doing? Counting screws. ‘Cause he’s bored…

Aw, come on, Nevel! You know that’s not true… Not everybody hates you… Just a big group of people…

Not even advice you can give them, Spence. They don’t want it either…

Nevel’s being attacked! By a headache!

Carly’s conforting Nevel… It’s amazing how Internet-induced shame can do to some people. And lookie here:

Notice the color of the circle on Nevel’s laptop… Yeah…

“No one’s truly gonna believe I truly feel bad about what I did.” Now that’s true, Nevel.

So, Carly hatches together a plan to help Nevel apologize to the world. And she means it.

Spencer, why are you placing butter upon your face?

——————————————
Location: iCarly studio, broadcasting live
——————————————

Gibby was just bitten by an African blowfish, who likes human flesh. Sometimes I wonder why he keeps doing this to himself.

Now look at this:

You can see the “On-line” sign above the door. I just noticed it and I absolutely loved it!

Also, you can see that Miranda is taller than Jennette. I did not know that.

Nevel is apologizing to the world.

“I, Nevel Amadeus Papperman, …” Amadeus?

In this image, no words were required or were provided. When the camera shows Sam, she shrugs, meaning she doesn’t believe that Nevel’s sorry.

Did Nevel just toss the paper?

A truly heartfelt speech from a truly ashamed and regretful webmaster.

A heart-warming moment between Nevel and Molly, the little girl at who he yelled.

Aww… Carly’s a little emotional.

Spencer shows up with absolutely nothing to say.

—————————
Location: The Groovy Smoothie
—————————

Freddie’s on a date with Patrice. You know, the girl who asked him out earlier that week.

She just dumped him. She claims “the vampire thing has played out”. What? No it hasn’t! Look at the Twilight saga, which is parodied in this episode.

Werewolf type? What? Is this a Team Jacob thing?

“Let’s roll.” Gibbeh…

Doesn’t Tasha get jealous? “We’re not exclusive.”

Nevel arrived at the Groovy Smoothie. I don’t think I’ve seen him on the Groovy Smoothie before.

He’s in debt with the iCarly crew.

And the story repeats itself…

“Aw, chiz.”

Again I’d like to apologize for the lateness of this review. My personal life has been interfering with my review schedule (yeah, I have one of those) and then iOMG was announced.

Thank you for reading my reviews.

RobSp1derp1g out!

iHire an Idiot – Review

Hello, hello, hello! How are you, my dearest readers? How are you on this beautiful day?

Anyhow, I know my review for this episode is a bit late, but that is not my fault. I was stuck in this really difficult Professor Layton puzzle. You know the one…

Nevertheless, I’m here now and I’m ready to review iHire an Idiot.

Oh, and I promised one thing to my readers. I promised that I’d review this episode in Yoda talk. You know. That green midget from Star Wars, I’m talking about. Although, after analyzing this review, I concluded that the effect I intend to transmit is broken when the sentences are reversed, so, unfortunately, I’m afraid I have to break this promise…

So, without mentioning that guy from iStart a Fan War, here it is, the review for iHire an Idiot.

——————————————————
Location: Bushwell Plaza, Shay’s apartment
——————————————————

Freddie’s on the kitchen counter, Carly’s on the couch working, and Sam’s… also on the couch… sleeping.

Carly’s preparing the new iCarly. You don’t get to say that a lot…
Why would they need a big bucket, a nail gun and a large bag of baby peacock feathers… which Freddie already ordered.
Sam is supposed to get the nail gun. Nothing new there. I’m sure her uncle Carmine can prov… *hears knocking on door* I’ll get it. BRB. *goes to get the door* *returns shocked* Forget what I was going to say about Sam’s uncle Carmine there is no uncle carmine it’s all in my head.
But tell me, doesn’t Sam look cute when she’s asleep? Of course she does…

And Jennette got hurt a few days before they shot this scene. You can see a bruise below her knee. Look:

And what better way to wake your friend up than by tickling her conviniently-showing feet.

“We’re doing a webshow tomorrow night.” “iCarly?” Do you participate in another one?

She really doesn’t help…

9 hours to properly prepare a slice of pizza?

Pizza is a dish that requires taste… I saw it on Hell’s Kitchen…
Besides, there’s more to pizza than just bread and tomato sauce…
“… precision balance between red pepper flakes, parmesan cheese and garlic powder.” Is Freddie  related to Gordon Ramsay?

While he prepares the coffee table, he places his slice of pizza on the ground.
And when the phone rings, Spencer walks on Freddie’s pizza.

And he answers the phone with a not-too-common “Shallo?”.

Who’s Rosalinda?

“That pizza looks good.” “Yours.”

The webshow is getting too popular. The kids are getting very tired…

And why is Freddie touching Carly’s shirt?

And Spencer asks the question that set the plot into motion.
An intern.

“An assistant that works for free.” I have one of those! Here she is! Phoebe, can you come here please? *Phoebe shows up* See, I have an intern. Except I pay her. But she’s awesome, so I don’t mind paying her.

“Would it bathe me?” What?

Oh, so that’s why Melanie makes her sick. Remember, “always has clean hair”. Sam just doesn’t like to rub.

You gotta appreciate the irony. Sam, being Sam has a peace symbol and a horseshoe pendant on her neck.

Sniffmeajob.com. I’d go there, if it didn’t redirect to iCarly.com.

“This pizza tastes like shoebottom…” I wonder if it’s because you stepped on it a while ago…

Trivia time!
“Isn’t that a kind of bread?” “That’s ciabatta.” “That monkey from Galaxy Wars.” “No!”
What I want you to focus here is the third part. It proves Sam is a fan of Galaxy Wars.

Yet another phonecall? That phone is busy!

This one is from Grandpa Shay.

“Carly says she hates you…” Now, now, Spencer…

“This couch is getting too crowded…” So, the next logical step is to lie down on the living room table.

See? If your best friend lies on the coffee table, you can use her body as a boost to place your laptop.

“Old scutter…”

Dress up like a lady on the 4th of July? Who comes up with this kind of stuff?

Spencer has a deadline. He has until next week to publish his sculptures on a museum or, *dramatic sound* he’ll go back to law school…

“I can’t go back to law school! It was the worst 72 hours of my life!” I know, man, but it’s your own doing. You promised your grandpa…

This season of iCarly is revealing a bit more on the character’s background… First the goat, now some biker dudes…

—————-
Intro Sequence
—————-

————————–
iCarly set: Job interviews being held
————————–

I must say, I think I’d be the perfect intern for iCarly.

————Applicant File—————
Name: Stu Vernamin

Age: 16

Result: Promptly rejected by Sam

Reason: None whatsoever
—————————————–

“We’ll keep your resumé on file…” Oh, Gibbeh…

“You can’t cut people off in the middle of…” “Okay!” “Irony…”

Why the bloody hell is Stacey here? Is she stalking iCarly?
And notice how Carly is freaked out because of her. I think she hasn’t forgotten about the Creddie stuff… Oh, that’s right, the stuff in iStart a Fan War hasn’t happened yet… That’s what you get when you mix iCarly with time travelling.

Next is Brad.
Brad uses the same software as Freddie, and therefore the possible gap that could have existed is prevented right there. Plus, he makes fudge for people. And Sam loves that fudge.

“I’ll show you to the door.” You gotta love Gibby’s attempt to look badass. I get the feeling this isn’t the last time we see Brad…

Please note that Sam’s interest was perked when Brad spoke of the software he used. Techie Sam.

That is settled. iCarly has selected its newest int… What? There’s someone else?

And there comes Cort. A guy the girls consider hot, whose greatest achievement was learning how to tie his own shoes… on seventh grade… Gonna be tough to beat this guy, pause, not.

The girls decided for themselves… And Cort’s so stupid he didn’t understand that he was hired.

Remember the fudge?

“Are you a good dancer?” “The goodest!”

And they celebrate by asking Cort to show them what it means to be the “goodest” dancer in Seattle.
And who is that song from? Can anyone tell me? If it is from that kid who thinks he has talent, nevermind.

——————————————–
Location: Seattle Museum of Art.
——————————————–

If you could all follow me, we have here a exhibition on Traditional Postmodernists. Please notice the paradox this title conveys.

If you look at the door, you’ll see Spencer trying to smuggle the Bottle-Bot into the museum.

And when the museum curator shows up, all you need to do is say “I’m (your name here). It’s okay, I’m an artist.”

Whoa, wait a minute… Let me check if I heard this right.
I did… Spencer has a fan!

“…and I’d love for you to be represented in this museum…” “Yay.” “…but…” “Ohhh…”

And when things don’t work out, he tries to bribe the curator with a date.

Who’s Roy? Oh, that’s Roy.

Most security guards would have thrown Spencer out the door, and destroyed the Bottle-Bot, but Roy gave Spencer a ride to the door.

————————–
Location: iCarly set – Webshow about to begin.
————————–

90 seconds to go…

Lemonade in a bag… it’s original… I’m an old-fashioned man, I prefer those packets of juice they sell on the market, or if I’m feeling nostalgic, I’ll use my outdated and obsolete bottles.

Oh, Cort took some notes. Maybe he’s not that useless after…

He wrote them on Freddie’s PearPad… Which costs 800 US Life Points, I mean dollars.

Let’s see what he wrote:

1 – Be ready for webshow. – Okay, good.
2 – Believe in myslef. – Who, or what, is a myslef?
3 – Freddie just said something
4 – Carly looks hot today! Woot! – The guy is stupid, but he is certainly not blind.
5 – I am taking notes rite now.
6 – iCarly is a webshow… – Oh, I thought iCarly was something you cleaned your TV with…
7 – Bring cans of drinks – Cans, not bags!

Cort has a point, the notepads are much cheaper…

“In 5, 4, 3, 2…” “One!” Good to know he can count backwards from 2…

And now, here’s a little insight on the history of iCarly. Please listen quietly.

Carly met Sam. The drank from a filthy buckett. iCarly was born.

“Filthy bucket…” “I’m working!”

Here comes Gibby, in scubadiving gear…

“Fill me with feathers!”

And Cort just commited first degree murder. On a laptop…

Well, at least he offered to clean the laptop… after he killed it.

So, Cort’s an artichoke?

“Maybe we should fire him.” “Yeah, maybe we should…” They turn around and see Cort on Gibby mode.

“You know… everyone deserves a second chance!” “Cort deserves unlimited chances!!” Oh, God…

*Cue that trendy music whose performer is unknown to me.*

~~ Commercial time ~~

Location: Carly’s room.

Cort is jumping in the trampoline.
“95, 96, 97, 99, 100!!” Way to go, Cort! You proved my theory. You can’t count to 100 starting from 95.

The point of the exercise was to jump and count?

Oh, Gibby, you just got rejected by them again…

Cort, an errand boy? Bad idea…

A “todo”? Todo is portuguese for “whole”.

If they hired a younger intern, say about 10, the results would be way better…

Freddie just knocked the door.

Whoa! As they say on the old country, hoy! Who’s that hot girl who’s with Freddie?

“Who’s your… lady friend there?” Samantha Joy Puckett, are you jealous? I know this line alone will probably generate a lot of insults, but there’s one thing you can’t deny. She’s upset with the new girl’s presence. Her voice has been analyzed by over 2 scientists over at Seddie University.

Oh, the girl’s name is Ashley…

And she’s as stupid as Cort. Or is she? She is. Or is she?

Ashley found Carly’s not lost bag.

“I have a bed!” “Got one too!”

“What is going on here?” I don’t care if you don’t like it, but this is the most accurate sentence to describe what was going on there.

Half of the people nowadays are hired because of that, Sam…

Gibby got hit because he wanted fruit gum. Another thing to add to the “todo” list.

———————-
Location: iCarly studio
———————-

Cort is listening to his own heartbeat, with that thing…

It’s clearly rehearsed, but this happens more often than you think in real life. Freddie and Sam speak at the same time, again.

They ignore the fact that Freddie needs help. They go directly to Cort.

Ashley just arrived with a baby. A baby she took from a lady that was talking to Lewbert. Not even Sam would sweep that low…

The baby’s cute. Like a monkey. And monkeys go “meow”…. Okay, moving right along…

Oh, Carly and Freddie are having a serious conversation… It turned out to be something no one was expecting…

“That ‘feminidiot’”
“Your ‘himbecile’”
“Okay, that was clever wordplay.”

Can’t you agree both inters are both unimaginably stupid?

——————————————–
Location: Seattle Museum of Art.
——————————————–

“The name’s Shay. Spencer Shay.” All that’s missing are the high-tech gadgets James Bond (the TRUE JB) uses.

He’s even got an inside man, I mean, inside Gibby.

Please note that the sign reads “No flash photography.” and is aided by an image.

Gibby promptly starts taking flash photos. And this attracts the attention of Roy.

After a warning, Gibby keeps taking flash photos.

And Gibby applies a can of some material which name I don’t recall… This is just begging for a chase…

This chase gives Spencer enough time to get his Bottlebot into place.

Old ladies are so easily frightened…

————————–
Location: iCarly studio – Webshow rehearsal.
————————–

They’re shaving Gibby?

Look, Ashley has arrived. She was told to go get lunch for the gang. Instead she got herself some lunch. And according to her, it was “yummy”. Now, come on, who still says that?

And she has a memory span of a goldfish.

She’s happy to go sit on the floor…

“No deal!” What is this, Deal or No Deal?

“Cort’s too pretty to fire.” Oh, Carly…

Preparing the Raw Meat Storm! I think the name “Meaty-or Storm” would be better, but who am I?

The case of the Disappearing Meat! Call in Professor Layton! Or Sherlock Holmes! Or Shirley Holmes! Or even better, all of them!!

Wait, there’s no need for that… There’s the culprit. *points at Cort*

“We’re not supposed to?” How stupid can you be, Cort?

“They weren’t cooked…” Sam speaks from experience.

“Deal!” Again, is this Deal or No Deal?
“It’s time…” Like two mothers who refuse to let their kids go live their own life…

——————————————–
Location: Seattle Museum of Art.
——————————————–

Spencer is just adding the final details to his Bottlebot exhibit. A placard.

Grandpa appears.

A sculpture by Spencer in a museum? Could it be?

Stop importuning old people related to you, Spencer!

“In your face, you old scutter! Love you.” This episode broke the barrier for the uses of the word “scutter”.

“Dierdre!” Smooth, Spencer, smooth.

“Grandad, please. A little privacy…”

“I apologize, I had to do that.” “Just do it again.” “Yeah.”

————————–
Location: iCarly studio
————————–

Cort’s been fired? Hooray! I mean, oh no… whatever shall we do without him…

Cort’s been kicked out of college for being “dangerously stupid”. I think it’d been good to know that beforehand, don’t you?

They need Cort’s shirt. Just to see his abs. I bet you can grate cheese on those abs. Though the smell would tend to linger, something awful.

What a fun way to get fired. “Get out, Ashley!”

Wait, what? Sociology thesis?

Top of her class? Seattle Tech?

Freddie got you girls good!!

These words from Carly always make me laugh…

What’s up with the elevator?

Cort! What’s wrong?

“This is an elevator…” You’ve discovered gunpowder!

My 14 dollars: This episode was made to make us laugh, and that was achieved. Great episode!!

Also, please check this idea that my friends at McCurdian.com came up with. Click here!

iHire an Idiot Sneak Peek(s)

Hello, my faithful readers! I bring you gifts!

The first gift is the gift of… of… Oh, it’s a sneak peek for iHire an Idiot.

Check it out, guys!

RobSp1derp1g out!

EDIT: Two more were obtained, here they are.

Meet Ashley:

The B-plot, involving Spencer:

iStart a Fan War – Review

Hello, guys! Here we are, back from Webicon. Here at RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews, we must say that it was a fruitful experience. Why is that? Because I have never actually been in a convention like that. But I think I might actually start going, because then I’d have the possibility to find an amazing yet fairly unknown actress called Jennette McCurdy. Any of you heard of her? Me neither…

First and foremost, I must announce something. *serious lights are turned on* I have been rewarded with the oportunity of having another Seddieshipper working with me here. So, everyone, please give a hot welcome (warm seems too little) to omgwtfEmily! She’s the new author for this blog an will be working with me here on my reviews and speculations.

Anyway, I can see you guys are looking a bit glum. If you’re wondering how I can see you, the answer is simple. I’m in a dim-lighted-deep-underground-location-unknown-super-secret evil lair of doom. Do the math. As to why you guys are glum, it’s not my fault “The O.C.” ended. I liked Shailene Woodley, even though I never actually saw her on this show, as Mischa Barton’s little sister.

Oh, you’re sad about the whole “Seddie vs. Creddie” thing. About that, I have 2 words: READ BELOW.

One thing I have noticed about this episode is that we don’t know who has written the episode. Why is that?

Review, I choose you! Oh, I forgot, this isn’t Pokémon.

The episode starts with Carly and Freddie entering school. They’re discussing something with “lots of different kinds.” And it’s not actually discussing, it’s more like bothering, because only Freddie is talking.

40 grid, 60 grid, 80 grid, Huh? You lost me. No, wait. Freddie didn’t lose me. He never had my attention.

Turns out that they’re talking about sandpaper. Interesting topic.

Sam has a lunchbag, a rare sight, rare sight indeed… Pam is trying to be a better mom.

I don’t live in the States, but I don’t think that in the USA, one’s two best friends would inspect one’s lunchbag.

Also, only Pam Puckett would send a C battery in her daughter’s lunchbag.

You can’t really blame her for trying, Sam.

And there he is… Walking down the stairs of Ridgeway High… Adam. There is also wind that shakes Adam’s clothes. Ah, Hollywood…

Oh, Carly’s got a crush on Adam… *half an hour later* shhhhhhhhh…

Whoa, why are Adam’s clothes being pushed back?

Gibby has a fan… I guess Dan had to do it…

Freddie’s not that upset about Adam… Could this mean…

“And he’s coming this way.””Shut up and be cool!”

»»»»» Adam’s Guide to Talking With Girls: «««««

1- When talking to a girl, instead on telling her she’s pretty, make a remark on what she’s holding. If she has a crush on you, she’ll ignore the comment and carry the conversation from there.

When do things go as well as we hope, Carly?

— Title Sequence —

You guys know I usually skip this and go directly to the episode, right? Well, not this time.
This time, I’ll show you something that has intrigued me.

The first thing you might notice is Freddie’s arm around Sam. Yeah, I know, hard to miss. Even more so after I marked it. But for now, please focus on the microphones. The only episodes where microphones were used were iDo, iStart a Fanwar and due to the nature of the episode, iParty With Victorious. Since the first two already aired, I guess the next big scene will happen on iParty With
Victorious.
Now you can look at Freddie’s arm.

»»» Location: Bushwell Plaza, iCarly Studio «««

The girls got a question from frogpunch99. These fans have amazing questions. They don’t ask if you can cook a pickle with a blowtorch. They ask how to do it correctly. Excellent question.

We discover that Socko has a cousin which is a professional welder. His name is Bernie. He proceeds to burn the pickle.

Carly and Sam got news for us guys! It turns out that they’re going to Webicon!!

They wanted to go last year, but they were kidnapped by a super-crazy-psycho fan who locked them in her basement. Nora even tried to kill Gibby, but she was brought down by him ans his younger brother, who has a nack for saying “Happy Birthday.”

“Gibbeh…” No offense or anything, but right now, Gibby sounded like a Pokémon.

Answer questions, which will be totally unrelated to the love lives of the cast, sign autographs, meet fans, who make assumptions about the love lives of the cast…

“Mr. Pickle’s gonna feel that tomorrow…” I love that accent.

»»» Timeskip to: Carly’s new room «««

More sandpaper talk… Who cares about that? Freddie, apparently, and not Carly.

Whoa, Spencer is playing World of Warcraft… I mean World of Warlords… Yeah, that is totally what I meant…

That is how a WoW (glad the acronym is still the same.) player plays the game. He or she yells incessantly at their opponents, despite the fact that they know they can’t hear him or her.

“Enjoy your ghostly stroll from the graveyard…” Actually, I play WoW. And I must say that the ghostly stroll from the graveyard isn’t that bad… If you find your body, you can ressurect for free…

Whoa, they turned to Carly at the same time… Intense…

“It’s not a game, it’s a lifestyle…” If by any chance Dan reads this, what is this is a reference to?

Only a nerd would know what an MMORPG is… Actually I like MMORPGs but I prefer RTSs. Oh, better yet, FPSs!

“Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.” *fistbump*

Spencer, that is a mistake make gamers make. They go get food. While I am the first person to acknowledge the benefits of ingesting foods, doing so while playing MMORPGs might result in more frequent visits to in-game graveyards.

A boat on a coffee table? Now I’ve seen everything…

“Oh my God, it’s Adam! He wants to videochat! Be cool!” Carly, when is Freddie not cool?

I would like to take a few minutes of your time to talk about the TV in Carly’s room. It’s awesome, and I bought one with relatively the same size.

One note. As much as I love Miranda Cosgrove and recognize her talent as an actress, I think that when she says “you did?” was bad. I think she was supposed to be surprised, I mean, her crush just saw her perform in her weekly webshow and she’s not that surprised?

Burning a pickle…

Oh, come on, Carly. Freddie just wants a little recognition…

“Nice hat!”

“Leave the hat.” “No, I need to wear it!”

Now Carly sounded a bit desperate… But she’s not! This is a direct contrast with iSpeed Date, in which she was desperate, but didn’t want to sound it.

Carly knows about the Creddie shippers…

*rubs hands together while looking around the room* …WHAT?? We’re the nervous ones?? Come on!!! We’ve been fighting Creddiers from day one! And they are the nervous ones!!

Small note: Adam is a Seddieshipper. You know why I say this? He didn’t know the name of the ship, but when he did, he said, “got it.” Which means he wants Sam and Freddie together.

“So you and Freddie definitely aren’t together?” “God, no!” Tremble before the power of this statement, Creddieshippers!

Adam asked Carly out, but her busy schedule is in the way.

“Swear?” Look out for words with double meaning…

Spencer comes back with the cheese.

“I told you to never sneak up on me when I’m thinking about boys!” How is Spencer supposed to know when you are thinking about boys?

Spencer arrives with a bombshell. He’s going to Webicon.

Turns out he wants to win a stume contest (stume is cool talk for costume). So basically, he’s gonna be a cosplayer.

PILLOW FIGHT!! But Spencer, she’s unarmed…

»»» Transition to: Bushwell Plaza, Shay’s kitchen «««

Spencer is measuring his stume and making all necessary modifications…

Like any responsible adult, Spencer asks the kids how was school.

“Aced my Physics test.” “Nice.”
“Got an A on my World History report.” “Good boy.”
“Had egg salad for lunch.” “Tastee”.

Look how Freddie became psyched about the stume (by now, it sounds lame.)

Is it possible that two girls who never had any contact with World of Warlords do not know who Aruthor is? Yes, it is.

Aruthor is the greatest warrior in the entire realm of World of Warlords. His powers are equaled by no other. So Aruthor is a parody of Arthas. And the only match for Arthas is the Lich King. I take it that’s what Aspartamay’s based on. Yes, I’ve played the game.

Again, is it possible that two girls who never even heard of World of Warlords don’t know why can’t they battle. But I get the feeling it’s about to be explained.

Freddie is terrified of Sam. Just one look from her and he starts shivering. Well, not shivering, but he does get afraid.

Hoobscher fyords. Again Ben Heubsher is mentioned. Don’t we all love iCarly’s script coordinator?

“It’s so weird how you guys don’t have girlfriends…”

Farquar dimentional plane. Got it.

A battle so volatile it could destroy the multiverse… UHHHHH…

I’m a sucker for everything that includes multiverses. I think it’s the possibility of exploring new… oh, you don’t care…

Diet soda for the win!

Jewels on the butt flap? New level of nerdiness, Spencer Shay.

Go get a sponge, Sam…

»»» Transition to: bird’s eye of Seattle «««

Again, I am forced to interrupt this, because I noticed something.

Dan took images from Comic-Con and modified some logos to make them look like Webicon. I said some, because there are some which show clearly it’s from Comic-con. But a good try nonetheless, Dan! Here is an image that proves it:

The cast has arriveth. I mean arrived. They meet Corbin Davis, Webicon VIP liaison. What that means, I don’t know.

Nora is brought up again. She had a chicken…

Uh… smoke effects… Nice.

You are Aruthor! But even Aruthor can be hit by automatic doors.

“You have a couple of broken steam pipes over there.”

“Is there a bathroom I can use?” “Right next to the iCarly conference hall.” Incredible! Just as I have foreseen! Take a look:Well, it’s a little far off…

“We have a conference hall?” “I am Aruthor!”

Freddie was kidnapped by the iCarly fangirls! Hurry, Sam, go and save your friend. Right now he’s just your friend.

Sam has landed right on top of Freddie. You hear him scream…

“Those girls will tore you to pieces!” “I know! Woo-hoo!!” There Freddie goes, willingly, into the middle of the crazy fangirls…

—Commercial Break—

I already saved him once, that’s all he gets from me.

We all know you’re Aruthor, Spencer…

“Give me my longstaff, I made it.”

Apparently Dan saw the Simpsons fragment called Man Getting Hit By Football.

“Tragedy!”

“Here’s your nerd stick.”

While Spencer signs up for the stume contest (it still sounds lame…), Adam shows up!

Gibby’s joining the cast, along with his brother…

»»» Location: Parking lot «««

Gibby, Guppy and their grandpa are on the car “on their way” to Webicon.

Mr. Gibson has fought 7 years on a 2-year war in Korea. He met a lady there.

“My pants are too tight!” I agree with you, Guppy!

Mr. Gibson can’t eat corn, do da, do da.

And they’re still parked…

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

Hoobscher Fyord Vs. Pernicious Berm. The fight all the World of Warlords would rather avoid.

“Your costume is so level 90!” “Epic stume” (It STILL sounds lame…)

Why is it so hard to believe that Spencer made the costume himself?

“I think I’m cocky enough…”

Webicon visitors are advised not to get too excited about any of the panels, it may be hazardous to your health.

The epic encounter between Aruthor and Aspartamay has already made casualties: one teen has fainted.

For the first time since the creation of the game, Aruthor and Aspartamay meet face to face…

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

Adam is being redirected to the iCarly Q&A panel.

We see Stacey, who is a little emotional.

Next, it’s Craig and Eric. They’ve been in line for two hours.

With only a few minutes until the Q&A begins, Sam has disappeared.

But lo and behold, here she comes, with a drink in her hand.

Fat Shake. “Brand new from the good people who bring us Fat Cakes.” The truth about these is, they are made from low fat Fat Cakes.

The Q&A is just about to begin.

“My name is Adu!” Congratulations, Adu! You just lost an amazing oportunity to be quiet. Another Simpsons reference.

“I have a question. You guys are awesome!” Another one, Adu.

Girl in pink shirt: 93 sound effects for only 6 buttons, how is it possible?
Answer: The remote is programable. And it seems that Craig and Eric had a wager going on…

From now on, I’m gonna call Stacey “The girl with the bow on her hair.”

Stacey was cured of her speech issues but had a relapse. I know what you mean, girl…

Say what? Stacey’s a Creddieshipper?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO00000000000000ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo00000000000000000000000…

As soon as Stacey announces her ship, another guy starts booing her and shouting “Seddie!”. First, a note. Not all Seddieshippers are like that. I, for one, am not like that. I respect Creddie, and other ships.

“Carly and Freddie, what are the circumstances of your romantic relationship? Details, please.” Gee, next time, try being a bit more direct, okay, Stacey?

What? They are the ones that supposedly are in a romantic relationship (which they aren’t, by the way), but you think you know more than them.

Also, something fun to notice is that the PearPad girl has pictures! PICTURES!! What do they prove? Absolutely nothing. Look, we see that the only first two pictures are Creddie-ish. The rest is Baby Spencer, alone and with his maid, Gibby, Spencer, and actual iCarly photos. We even see the knowing smile Spencer does from iNevel, you know when Sam and Freddie are fighting (I think this description didn’t help much…)

Even Man-boobs agrees with Stacey and the PearPad girl. By the way, the website proves nothing. Nothing on the website points towards Creddie.

Oh, Adam’s getting angry… You won’t like him when he’s angry.

You are a bad girl, Sam… You know that’s not true and you still say it? Oh, it’s just for the laughs. In that case, okay.

That did it. Not only did Sam cause an all-out fan war, it completely crushed Adam’s heart…

It may be fun, Sam, but it’s wrong.

END OF PART ONE.

»»» Commercial break «««

The fan war Sam created still ensues. And Corbin is trying to calm the fans down…

Sam offered Freddie her Fat Shake…

Freddie knows Carly likes Adam, and is not upset about it. He’s over Carly, peoples!!!

Oh, Sam, now you’ve done it good…

She jokingly announced that Creddie was true and now Adam’s heartbroken…

Why would a shuttle come pick Adam up?

Why would she need an extension cord?

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

Aruthor and Aspartamay are judging each other’s costumes.

Aspartamay’s saying Aruthor’s costume is good, for an amateur… Oh, it is on in a matter similar to that of Donkey Kong.

Oh, Spencer’s costume is based on the beta version of Aruthor…

“What’s wrong with my jewels?” This has so many interpretations…

And now they are poining the flaws on each other’s costumes.

This is a sign that new methods of thought are reaching new ways of being acknowledged. Even videogame characters are vegetarians…

»»» Location: Inside-Out Burger «««

Mr. Gibson wants soup. So he goes to the Inside-Out Burger.

With Guppy shouting “French fries!”, and Mr. Gibson not knowing who’s speaking through the drive-through, it turns out it’s a painful morning…

“I’m hearing the voices!!” Oh, Guppy…

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

Next question is from Craig, who hails from San Diego.

Only a nerd would reference Stargate in a regular conversation.

Adu, it doesn’t matter how many times they say they aren’t dating each other, you guys can’t get it through your thick skull of yours…

I’d like you guys to remember an older time, when the iCarly cast went to Land of the Rising Sun…

When the Nakamura Hotel clerk claimed they were on honeymoon and he got slapped? Well, look at him now. Dozens of fans claiming he’s dating Carly and yet, not a single smile. I’m sorry for saying this, Creddie fans but Freddie’s just not that into Carly.

They were kicked out of the TCAs? Why? Oh… Not even iCarly is safe from Justin Bieber…

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

And now Aruthor and Aspartamay are in a healthy swap of insults…

I like how Steve (I call Steve to the guy who’s playing Aspartamay) breaks character to say “Okay, seriously, dude, you take that back right now.”

Now we get to see an epic showdown between Aspartamay and Aruthor.

And those teen in the middle, “the prophecy…”

The epicness of this battle has to be expressed in it’s original form. In text.

Aspartamay: You maggot, you fool, know you not what you say, prepare to be PWNED by Aspartamay!
Aruthor: You look like you’re hungry, so taste the blade of Aruthor!
Aspartamay: Your blood, it will boil, your flesh I shall burn into eternal damnation, but I guess that you’ve earned it!
Aruthor: You will beg for mercy, when I own you in the FACE!
Aspartamay: I’ll thrust my sword through your lily white gullet, you’ll look like a troll with a chambermate mullet!
Aruthor: You emanate a stench so foul that when you’re near it makes me HOWL!
Aspartamay: I’ll bleed ye dry and ye shall cry, (imitating a baby crying) Wah wah wah wah, ba ba ba ba!

And a song ensues. And then a fight.

And then we’re back on Gibby’s car.

Gibby’s way of manipualating his grandpa deserves applause.

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

Sam returns with Adam tied up.
A small fun fact *hears faint voice* Well it is fun to me! When Phoebe, Steve and I went to Webicon, we were supposed to cover the event live, but we lacked a very important cable. One that Steve forgot. So, when he was holding a camera at this time, when Sam passed by him, she punched him in the nose. Hey, see it on the bright side. At least you got a free souvenir…

He was resisting… okay.

When Sam calls them people they don’t respond, but they answer by fans of iCarly.

Sam has 2 announcements:
- having a Fat Shake is like sucking heaven through a straw.
- She was joking about Carly and Freddie.

Adu’s comment is remarkable. “She pulled our collective legs!”

Sam and Freddie FOR THE WIN!!! <- This is both a quote and a statement said by me.

The girl who asked the first question is a Seddieshipper…

Another fan war…

Stool!

— Commercial Break —

The second fan war rages on…

Sam’s family reunions seem to be pretty funny…

We know that, Corbin.

“A nerd riot can last for days! Most of these people don’t have jobs or lives to go back to.” So basically the insanest-most-hardcore shippers are uber-nerds? I agree…

“STOP IT!!! POR FIN!!”

That guy who yells “You lie!”… Why is he all formal?

And the riot resumes…

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

Aruthor and Aspartamay are still at it…

That nerd as referee cracks me up!

It has come down to this: Longstaff vs. wristballs.

»»» Location: Mr. Gibson’s car «««

Mr. Gibson is fighting with the drive-through guy…

Where’s his soup?

And the drive-through guy is pulled out of the winder.

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

The riot seems neverending…

And Carly’s solving a Rubik’s cube. She got one side done.

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

The leaders of the Hoobscher Fyords and the Pernicious Berm are still fighting…

Aruthor’s getting pwned!

Total pwnage!

It’s not a rock, it’s a piece of cement.

Spencer has chlorene in gas form…

Bring the tenacious floggers!

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

Corbin called the chief of security.

Who is stupid enough to hold a live flare??

That is the whole reason reason iCarly was created… To share fruit.

Creddiers: “Let’s get this guy because apparently he is the only thing in the way of Creddie, even though we have no reason whatsoever to attack him!”

Carly’s indifference is incredible. “Did anyone understand what I was trying to sa… oh, forget it…”

This is what I don’t understand. We Seddiers have nothing against Adam, but he’s being poked by Seddie paddles.

“He belongs to them now…”

He won’t forget it…

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

The tenacious flogging continues.

“The kids from iCarly approacheth.”

“He’s not my friend, he’s mean…”

“Aruthor has a sister?”

“Your costume’s lame!” Good one, Spencer!

The mighty Aspartamay is going down with a bitten thumb?

You’ve snatched his browny jewel. So he’s gonna die.

He could reanimate, but it would take the power of all 99 mages and Sam doesn’t want it.
Look how Sam bends Freddie’s will with just 4 words…

“Can we go home now?” “After we blow the horns of our forefathers, symbolizing the vanquish…”
“We’re going home!” “I’ll get the car.”

At long last, Gibby arrives at Webicon. He had to lie to get here.

My 2 dollars: This episode was really funny, congrats to Jack Black for another successful performance. The promos were VERY misleading. I was mislead by them, I admit it. But the goal of iCarly is to make people laugh. And I get that everytime my 4-year-old cousin starts randomly shouting “Gibby!”

I recommend you guys to read this blog post by Dan: Here

Oh, I almost forgot… I have found scriptures that predict what happened these last few days…

They were written in a ancient e-book.

They go as follows:

“The epic event took place and followers around the globe and Wisconsin desired to see which side reigned victorious, the Fram or the Frarly. But in the end, the battle was not solved. So, the followers rose against the Creator and demanded to know why their questions had not been answered. The Creator saw this and posted on his blog. And the followers of the Creator saw that it was good.”

In case you can’t tell, the text above was written by me.

Ever since this site existed, I’ve been trying to find a catchphrase I could call my own.
I am proud to say I have found it.

Seddie, it’s not a ship, it’s a lifestyle.

Note on iSFW’s second promo…

This is RobSp1derp1g, as you most likely know.

Well, this is my theory on the most recent development on iCarly’s fandom: We finally got to see some images from iStart a Fanwar.

Here’s the link for your viewing pleasure:

You see, after I saw this video, my Seddie mind began working at an incre

dible rate. I began to formulate theories so stupid that were immediately discarded. But one stuck.

Listen at Sam’s line on the webicon. She’s clearly not being serious, she’s most likely, as it is said on the internetz, doing it for teh lulz. Further proof on this are the tone of voice in which she speaks and the gesture she does after her line. Also, we’re talking about Sam Puckett, she could have easily just wanted to see an opportunity to create a riot.

Following the previous theory, after the Webicon is over and the fanwar ended, th

e script can (and I dare say, most likely will) take place. Every day that goes on, I feel that the script (or some form of it) is going to take place here.

As we still got 1 month to go, we know there will be new promos, so we’ll be sure to see more promos on the coming weeks, and I’m sure we’ll be ready to spot more stuff on our favorite ship.

RobSp1derp1g out!

EDIT: This is my Blogger’s pass to Webicon! They have that now.

My blogger's pass for Webicon.

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