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iOpen A Restaurant Review

Welcome to the iOpen a Restaurant review. Shall we get on with it?

»Scene 1 – iCarly webcast«

Drilling meat. Two words that have never been used together… Even MS Word has trouble recognizing it.

“Science Fact of The Day?” Is it possible that iCarly has connections to the people behind the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, Aperture Science, also known as Aperture Labs?

Einstein’s alive?

Never mix clam juice and soy sauce. It causes you to explode…

“Can’t argue with Science.”

Spencer drunk both liquids and now he’s ok… okay, he exploded, leaving only his shoes…

Follow @CoolEinstein! You’ll learn something new every time. He’s like Bunsen Jude “The Science Dude”.

»Sometime later«

Grandpa Shay is worried about Spencer’s wellbeing, because he exploded.

The Shays have been robbed! Someone stole the TV, and the computer…

And Spencer is wearing Carly’s bathrobe.

Don’t, Spencer!

»Title Credits«

»Scene 2 – Ridgeway High«

Carly’s showing pics the cops sent her to Freddie.

I think I know that guy…

Carly’s right, he doesn’t care.

Carly’s worried about Gibby, she says it’s not like him to miss 2 classes in a row.

Now, here’s the line that created a fan war last Saturday, “Is it too late for you to love me?”

I think this is just an outburst from Freddie. But more on that later.

Sam arrives to tell Carly and Freddie that Gibman (yeah, Gibman) is in the school basement.

Carly’s relief is evident in her voice when she says “Is he okay?” He’s okay, by Gibby standards.

Go, go with Sam.

»Some time later«

The gang arrives at the basement. It’s full of spider webs.

Gibby welcomes the gang. The way he said it reminds me of movies with brain-washing religious cults.

He has wanted to open a restaurant… for as long as he can remember. And what better location for a restaurant than a high school basement?

It could actually work, Carly…

“Dreamspitter?” That’s a new one… But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since there are parents that name their kids “Bartzina” and Hayley Dreamsmasher Smith. Look them up.

Opening a restaurant on the roof does have its advantages… Fresh air, amazing view…

Freddie goes in to support Carly, but he asks if there would be lasagna. Personally, I don’t like lasagna. The first time I had some it was really messed up.

And then Sam asks if there would be tater tots. I don’t know if I ever had that. I don’t know what that is.

A waterpark underground, Carly? Really?

Freddie is going to follow Carly up. And Sam starts to get suspicious…

“You got a new little crush on her?” Yeah, Freddie, she did ask you that. And if I may quote the Dark Prince from Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones (I’m a nerd, sue me.) “I eagerly await your response.”

And as Freddie walks upstairs, you can see that Sam is upset about that.

See? Look at her face…

Gibby comes to the rescue, but Sam intervenes: “Too close.”

»Scene 3 – Bushwell Plaza«

Okay, now I’m starting to get a little curious. Freddie’s going back to his old ‘crushing on Carly’ ways? Let’s see who wrote this episode…

“Written by Dan Schneider and Jake Farrow”. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sure there’s a pretty sure there’s an explanation for Freddie’s behavior. Now, to find it…

I must admit, having 37 external flashes hit your eyes simultaneously seems like a lot.

37,000? Dude, that’s impressive!

Another one?

»Scene 4 – Ridgeway High Basement – Gibby’s«

Carly and Freddie are amazed that Gibby has actually managed to open a restaurant. By now, they should have somehow realized that anything is possible in a Dan Schneider show.

Carly still can’t believe it. Two words: it’s butter.

Only cool people can eat at Gibby’s. Friends of theirs. Even though I don’t know who the guy in the right table is. Or the hot girl next to him… I think I’m in love. But I’ve never talked to her. Can any of you introduce me? Cookie for whoever gets the reference.

Red pepper on pasta? Not my cup of tea, to be honest.

Sam has a cousin who has a nose. Shocker.

“So, I’ll hook it up?”
“Hook it, baby!”

Sibby shippers must be high right now…

Red pepper lemonade? That’s a first…

And Carly’s running around looking fo- Dayum… There’s some amazing girls in this school…

Okay, okay, we get it! You don’t like the lemonade…

»Commercial break«

»Scene 6 – Gibby’s Gibby’s«

Gibby’s has a new look. Round metal tables and a more roadside diner style. That is, comparing to the roadside diners I see on TV.

There’s a kid that just returned from juvie. Billy Boots.

Gibby doesn’t take his shirt off anymore. At least, not without a good reason.

Oh, no. Someone just pissed Gibby off… And that’s not a good thing to do.

So, when you insult Gibby, you get free stuff at his restaurant?

Oh, it’s just like in Buttersock 3: Return of the Buttersock…

»Scene 7«

Spencer called Carly and Freddie in from school, to show them his new toy/security system.

I must admit, this looks quite dangerous…

Okay, 1200 ft/s… That equals about… 818.1799 miles per hour or 365.7584 meters/second. Math…

Damn, those popcorn kernels are made of what? Metal?

»Meanwhile, back at Gibby’s«

Gibby’s back… Back again…

Sam to the rescue! It still amazes me that Sam can overpower anyone. And I wish to test that.

»Meanwhile, thousands of miles away«

As I wrote this, I had a MAJOR dejá vu moment.

Spencer, Carly and Freddie are going to use Mrs. Benson as bait, to turn off the kill machine.

When all else fails, unplug the machine.

»Scene 8«

Professor Howard is back from the moon… I don’t recall if he was killed by the Decepticons…

Mr. Howard, you can see all the restaurant supplies here, so the simplest answer, and the most obvious one is, “DUH!”

All the good things come to an end… and as such, Gibby’s will close…

And they say professors aren’t nice…

What was your favorite thing about this episode? Let me know through the comments!

iGo One Direction Review

WARNING – This episode contains copious amounts of One Direction. Women with heart conditions are advised not to look directly at One Direction. This also applies to women without heart conditions. They’re very pretty – see? See how pretty they are? They’re very pretty! I’d like to run my fingers through their hair; and I’m just text! Anyway, without further ado, enjoy your iCarly episode.

Welcome, everyone, to the review of iGo One Direction. You’ve read the warning and by reading this either out loud or to yourself, you’re agreeing not to sue.

»Scene 1 – Carly and Spencer just arrived home«

From this image, one can assume that the Shays went to Mexico. And that Spencer STILL hasn’t gotten muscles. You know why? Because, despite the fact that his sister is at least 10 years younger than him, and that she’s a bit sick, SHE’s the one carrying all the bags…

“Maybe I should take you to a doctor…” Maybe? I don’t think that there’s any need for that… There a psychotic nurse right across the hall, perhaps she cou… Yeah, a doctor’s better… Probably Dr. Dresdin, who lives in 10-G. Or, if you’re really in a hurry, Dr. Who!

There’s a party going on in the apartment of the Shays! It looks like a pre-4th of July (which I hope to celebrate this year), complete with a barbecue, kids in a kiddie pool, and videogames!

“She okay?”
“No, she’s like dying.” And you STILL haven’t taken her to a doctor, or your neighbor.

There’s a Gibby head watching the video game.

What’s the problem, Gib? Are you afraid of worms?

Of course Sam would know about jungle worms…

Poor Carly… but the stakes are ready.

»Title Sequence«

»Scene 2«

Gibby is rubbing Sam’s feet. However, if I did not see it, and just heard it, I wouldn’t say that they were rubbing feet.

These replies to Spencer were actually pretty awesome!

“Hey, guys! Guess what I got?”
“A woman?”
“A job?”
“A friend your own age?”

So, Spencer got an exercise machine… actually, for a moment there, I thought I heard Spencer say exorcise machine… I actually did…

Uhh, the Omniflex… Omni, meaning “all”, and flex, meaning “physical effort”.

Is that… Is that a single popcorn on your navel? Navel means belly button…

Freddie received an e-mail from the manager of a British band. Who are they? Take That? Franz Ferdinand? Muse? (Actually, a serious note here: Muse were the favorite band of a friend of mine who recently passed away.) Coldplay? (“You know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.”) David Bowie? (“I’m not David Bowie”) The Beatles?

Oh, it’s WandErection, I mean, One Direction… Never heard of them…

Gibby’s a big fan of them…

If I may quote the e-mail: “Dear Freddie (Oh my God), in response to your e-mail, my clients, One Direction, will be in the Seattle area later this week, and they would love to appear on iCarly and perform a song.” That’s huge for them, first Plain White T’s, now One Direction, who’s next? James Blunt? Taylor Swift? Maroon 5? Uh, uh, Gym Class Heroes with Adam Levine!!!

Look at this! This is Cutting Room Flow!

If I didn’t know it’s a fake software, I’d probably download it illegally…

»Scene 3«

Spencer’s getting a visit and a package for Spencer Spay. Oh, the subliminal messages…

You’re a personal exercise trainer?

Spencer unknowingly fixed a babe magnet…

»Scene 4 – iCarly studio«

Freddie is working with the camera…

A few things to retain: Sam texted Freddie from jail. But she’s just visiting…

Carly saved Freddie from a possible infection with Jungle Worms.

It has been a very long time since I got to say this, Gibby suited up! Look at the Gibster:

He might just be the biggest male fan of 1D…

And Sam, who just got here from prison, announces that WandErection, I mean One Direction have arrived. And Gibby unleashes the inner fangirl. Basically, he does what I would do if I saw any of the 33 names I have on my phone… All of those names are female.

Yeah, I know… In my opinion, the use of this image was WAY overdue…

One Direction are performing a song. And that song is “What Makes You Beautiful.”

Sam makes a quick announcement: “I’m not currently dating anyone.” Please note this look on Freddie’s face:

And, of course, Gibby’s foot massages. He has, according to Spencer, “the hands of a goddess”.

British sandwiches…

Carly leaves the water bottle with the cute Texan water bottle holder unprotected near the tech cart.

 
I would like to thank @VillayCescilove for identifying the members of 1D.

I don’t know if you know this but it’s 5 of them… “Just putting that out there…”

!Would you guys autograph my sister’s scrapbook?” I didn’t know Taylor was a fa… Sister’s? Then why does it have a G on the cover?

Okay, I must say this: I’ve been speaking English for over 10 years now, 7 of those were spent learning British English, and I can’t understand what they say! Luckily, I have a transcript. Let me check… Oh, yeah, Harry asked Louis if there was any water. And Louis says “Ova ther…”

“Handgoons” Yeah, in America, we use them bloody handgoons to kill people…

»Sometime later…«

Spencer is combing his not-so-lady-like hair for his personal exercise trainer time.

Sam likes One Direction… Is that why Freddie’s joining a band? Pretzels for thought…

Spencer, she doesn’t care. Like, at all…

What the deuce? Who’s the incredibly rude girl?

“Kid, what are you doing?”
“Smelling this fudge!” Isn’t it obvious, Spencer?

“My mother said you were gonna exercise me!” Should I be the one to let you know that this sounds like there’s another connotation to this sentence?

I can’t believe Spencer is helpless towards a kid…

»Some time later«

Geez, hum, what’s his name… Right, Harry’s feeling really bad… He can’t even stand…

Gibby, go sit in the…

Yeah, there. Stay there.

You feel cold? And thirsty? You know what that means, don’t you? It means you read the wrong part of the script!

Carly gave Harry Styles jungle worms? Dun, dun, dun…

»Commercial break«

»Scene 4, Carly’s room«

Dr. Dresden is taking care of Harry.

“Is he better?”
”I think so… or maybe not.” What kind of doctor are you?

“We’re so lucky to have a doctor right here in the building.” Still thinking a psychotic nurse would be better…

Here’s a nice pun: Harry wants fruit cut into cubes, the way only Carly does. ‘Cause “that’s what makes you beautiful.”

»Some time later«

Spencer’s forcing that kid to get some exercise, while Spencer eats.

45 seconds!

Spencer’s like me, he can’t see a girl cry.

Bethany’s not awkward, she just has a very bad personality.

A makeover?

»Scene 7 – Groovy Smoothie«

San Francisco! The city the show Monk takes place in!

Note that Sam’s reaction is an actual effect obtained from being around celebrities. Go to a celebrity, ask them to say the name of a country or city and watch the results.

Harry’s having all of his needs taken care of…

T-Bo’s taking pics of 1D with his pearPhone.

“…he’s having a good time at Hotel Carly-fornia.” What a lovely place, what a lovely place, what a lovely place.

Butter Sock 4: The Re-Return of The Butter Sock.

“Is that a sock?”
“Full of butta?”

Freddie wants to “replace” Harry from 1D, forcing him to admit that he’s just in it for the lulz, I mean, for Carly’s attention.

“Who with?”

Here’s the question that is on EVERYONE’s mind. Who will replace Harry? Who has the raw talent, predisposition to sing and intricate knowledge of OneDirection’s songs that is required to sing with the group? Ali Brustofski? Megan Nicole? Uh, uh, Aria Summer Wallace!

This guy.

Harry admits he’s feeling better and that he’ll be able to perform on iCarly, on the condition that they never let Gibby sing, or dance ever again.

And as usual, Gibby’s not in on it.

»Some time later«

Spencer is giving a little girl a makeover. It’s Extreme Makeover: Kid Edition.

Agh, my eyes!!

“We need some kind of resolution!” I hear the fourth wall breaking.

»Scene 8 – iCarly webcast«

The girls just presented One Direction.

I’ve been on Twitter for a while now. And every day, I hear about One Direction but never thought about it. But this song is awesome!

Sam kidnapped Zayn?

Guys, get ready! Tomorrow there’s another iCarly episode tomorrow. It’s called iOpen a Restaurant! And it is gonna be fun… I guess…

iApril Fools Review

Rob’s Reviews, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. RobSp1derp1g, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law. 

Welcome, faithful readers! We bring you today my review to iApril Fools, another episode of iCarly!

First of all, I have to apologize. This review was done when I wasn’t feeling too well, and I had some stuff holding me down…

Let’s get started!

This time, the gang warns us that this is not an usual episode of iCarly. And it is not for normal people. And the answer for it is… soup.

»Title Credits«

These credits are a bit different… There’s a montage with pics of them when they started doing iCarly and how they are now. And there’s fire and lightning in the middle…

There’s a box with items which belong to @DanWarp. Here, take a look:

»Scene 1 – Bushwell Plaza, Shays’ very bare living room«

Are the Shays moving?

The Shays have been EVICTED? That is a TERRIBLE way to spend April Fools! Mine’s gonna be more creative… Then again, not that much…

I find it harder to believe that the owner’s name is Bushwell than Carly stabbed him…

10 o’clock PST? I’m on DST, so what time is that on GMT?

“Sure had a lot of good times on this place.”
“Yeah, we sure had…” Oh, God, here it comes, reminiscing time…
“Agreement.”

“You guys remember the time we were all sitting around watching that TV show?”
“What episode of that TV show?”
“You mean the one where the characters talk about crazy stuff that happened in previous episodes?” Isn’t that all TV shows?
“And then they flashback to the scenes they were talking about?” Yup, that’s ALL TV shows.

Reminiscing time!

Dan Schneider is talking in the TV! It is my belief that this is an episode (with flashback) of Head Of The Class..

That’s the 2nd time I’ve ever seen people so excited about flashbacks…

Gibby comes in from the elevator to steal something…

The new tenants are from France! *le gasp*

Gibby hit Spencer in the head with the STOP sign he stole…

But Sam tells him that is not how April Fools works… so Gibby kisses Spencer on the cheek and runs away…

They’re going away against their wishes, so they are having a party, complete with a party bush…

T-Bo’s invited too, so Sam calls him.

T-Bo’s a genie?

And T-Bo proceeds to do the same thing Gibby did, smack Spencer in the head with a STOP sign.

“Will you just take us to the next scene, please?”

Hard cut to…

»Scene 2 – Party’s location«

Freddie’s NOT partying without a party bush… He wants it so bad he starts to feel a bit ill due to not having a party bush…

That’s the power of magic. T-Bo blinks and they get a party bush… but is it me, or it’s a bit dry?

Ah, iCarly… I used to love that webshow… Now? I still do…

They are going to think back on the reason they started iCarly…

Whoa! They have suddenly been transported to school! There is some Butterfly Effect chiz going on here…

This is the event that led to the creation of iCarly… After this, Freddie uploaded Carly and Sam’s video and accidentally created iCarly…

After the final denial from Ms. Briggs, Carly and Sam the scene cuts to… What?

That’s Ms. Briggs from another universe which is not this one!!

If their energies collide, there will be an explosion with galactic proportions!

FIRE IN THE HOLE!! TAKE COVER!! That is the example of over 6 years playing Counter Strike and Call of Duty… If I may quote Jeffrey Albertson (known to many as Comic Book Guy), “life well spent!”

It’s an explosion of galactic proportions, but it’s confined to a few inches… and it’s perfectly safe to walk on the blast radius afterwards. Look:

“We should start a webshow.”
“Okay, what do we call it?”

And here’s the kicker, non-nerd Freddie actually trying to be a nerd.

And of course, who could forget Sparky.

And Freddie can move while in freeze frame!

See? What did I tell you? Going to a re-enactment of the past changed the course of Blitztory! *ghost-like whispers* Blitz…

“What time is it?” It’s time for Spencer to be hit in the head with a STOP sign, AGAIN… However, despite the caps, I find it very amusing…

Poachy? Sounds strangely familiar and delicious…

Here they go again…

Oh, the harp…

Miko?

The girls are intelligent, don’t get me wrong, I thought that girls like these had been discontinued, but sometimes they can be so thick headed!

Miko is able to predict the future… look:

Gibby, you’re violating the rules of flashingbacking!

There’s an Asian guy knocked out in your studio. You start dancing like a cowboy in Texas…

Yet another flashback. I didn’t know the Shays had a cat… Is it me, or isn’t that cat Jackson, Dan’s cat?

There’s an old saying, Gibby, and it goes like this: “Take me by the tongue and I’ll know you” See what I did there? Nah, the saying is “Payback’s a [CENSORED]”

»Commercial Break«

“We’re back!”
“Back from what?”
“I dunno…”

Let me clarify some things. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a party bush, but talking party bushes? That’s epic, dawg…

T-Bo just watered the bush…

Now, they talk about Carly’s lack of bad moods. And they are proven wrong, in a flashbacking way.

Huh? What are they doing in Tori Vega from Victorious’s house? And that’s the former blogger who alienated his friends by writing about them!!

It’s like a virus… “just leave it all to me”

Spencer’s really long hair… like a lady’s.

It was when iSaved Your Life aired. “12 million viewers…”

Spencer’s ladylike hair…

Here comes Mr. Bushwell.

Just one question, why does Gibby take down his pants when he gets depressed?

Think back, Mr. Bushwell…

Look! It’s the Doc! He brings a warning!

Go back to a future episode!!

And here’s the obvious reference to Back to the Future, in which there is a mention to the possibility of Seddie children.

And T’bo’s time machine!!

This episode shows that you don’t need to have a storyline to have a good time… Stupid line, I know…

And again, I’m sorry about the delay.

Disco Stu Will Review iQ

You said it, Stu!

This week’s iCarly episode, the first after the Seddie arc, is called iQ. FYI, my iQ is 110. At least, it was when I last applied for MENSA…

As you might know, Seddie broke up in the last episode, but then, there was something… So, I’ll analyze their interactions with each other.

Let the review begin!

The episode begins with the iCarly gang having fun on the Groovy Smoothie.

Carly and Sam are laughing at something Freddie doesn’t find very amusing…

Apparently, Freddie’s mom lost US$ 20,000 on chickens. Sorry, one chicken and one rooster. I am so glad he said “rooster”.

Breeding chickens is the easiest thing to do! You put them in the same chicken coot together, then you… like… turn the chicken coot lights down…

“I’m sorry your mom lost 20 thousand… bdoing.” ‘Bdoing’ can be understood as something else.

A guy who the girls consider hot just entered the GS. GS stands for Groovy Smoothie, not Gold and Silver.

She proceeds to talk to him and a very badly engineered play, the “Text in the Turned-Off Phone”.

Then we see this:

This is the first of many pics that I will share with you today. Seddiemania gave me the idea of watching every interaction between Sam and Freddie and analyze their microexpressions, body language, and stuff like that. Well here, I bring you the “It looks like I’m looking at Freddie but in reality I’m actually looking at Carly and see how she acts around this new guy” look. Certainly, it will get better.

Does this guy speak in code or something? Oh,he’s british… Wait, he’s british? *Chuckles* Fangirls, attack!

I think I can speak british too. Lift, taxi, apartment, colour, fish and chips, God save the Queen, fanny, harpoon!

Since most of you will not understand this new guy, due to him being super smart, I’ll translate what he says.

“Ah, Carly! The name of the comely vixen who assuages king Thurman`s cohort after the demise of his corpulent mother.”
This means “Carly, that’s the name of the woman who calmed king Thurman’s soldiers after his mother’s death.”

“iCarly? I think I’ve heard of it.” What, you don’t ‘ave Internet in London, mate?

“Teenage satire?” Can’t say I’ve ever heard that.

“You do teenage satire with a piquant wit?”
Translation: “You make fun of teenage stuff with a salty language.”

“You have nice eyes.”
“They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.”
“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend so, why don’t you open up a window?” That’s like the LAMEST line I’ve ever heard.

T-Bo is having some problems with a guy in a suit. Oh, a health inspector. How’s he bothering you, Teebs?

T-Bo’s been evicted! Where’s he gonna live?

The guy Carly’s after is named Kyle.

He just said something, but all I heard was “I haven’t watched iCarly yet, but, when I get home… website…”

“You know, I haven`t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to ingurgitate your website voraciously.”
Translation: “I haven’t seen iCarly yet, but when I get home tonight, I plan to gulp your website.”

»Title Credits«

»Scene 1: Bushwell Plaza, Shay loft«

Spencer’s cracking a safe. I should try that one day…

I used to do that in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. One of the best games I’ve ever played.

The junkyard. We really should see that.

T-Bo slept in a pond?

Whoa, that’s a big fork.

“We like it when your mom cries.” Oh, Sammy…

Then, the impossible happens. Spencer has a great idea. Mrs. Benson can rent the room to T-Bo.

Carly’s got a text on her phone.

This is a real question, to which I want a real answer: Do girls really take about 4 hours to get ready?

It’s like the old saying goes: If at first you don’t succeed in opening the safe, you cut it with a chainsaw.

»Scene 2: Premiere Theater«

It’s the Premiere Theater! Dan must have flown it from San Diego!

Carly and Kyle went watching a foreign movie, I’m sorry, a film called “Ick Glokmah” which is foreign for Foreign Film. Yeah, I can speak foreign.

Unfortunately, my foreign skills aren’t too good, so I can’t understand what the people in that film are saying.

“Great film!”
“You enjoyed the first half?” What is this a soccer game?

“This is an intermission. There’s 2 more hours to go.” Kyle, a word of advice, if I may. Say “break.”

You gotta love the boy’s enthusiasm. Look at it:

Carly has a lot of je-ne-sais-quoi. I don’t think she knows what that is…

“I like you… categorically.” Okay, how should I translate this… I actually don’t know!

Kyle had an obtuse ex-girlfriend who didn’t have the mental ability to enjoy a foreign film called “Foreign Film”. I think it’s better than that movie with the goat and the balloon…

“Oh, you are jocular!” She is, isn’t she? *whispers to Phoebe and Steve* What does jocular mean?

“I’ll fetch us a beverage from the concessionary.”
Translation: “I’ll get us some drinks from the lobby.”

Carly was too distracted with what he said she didn’t notice him leaning in to kiss her.

“Aw…” and reality kicks in. “2 more hours?”

»Meanwhile, at the Groovy Smoothie«

Sam and Freddie just gave the news to T-Bo that his wife’s having a baby. Just kidding. They just told him that Mrs. Benson has a spare bedroom that’s for rent.

You’d think it’d be awkward Sam and Freddie hanging out alone without Carly. Nope, we ALL thought that.

Here’s Gibby. I don’t recall seeing him again in this episode…

They need to change T-Bo into Mr. Terrence Bo. Hard task.

»Scene 4: Shay apartment«

Spencer’s STILL trying to open the safe. He’s not having that much luck. While Carly arrives home with Kyle in tow. I’ve always wanted to say that…

The safe destroyed a chainsaw blade? Go, safe!

“You know, that safe is probably made of carbonized iron.” Saying ‘steel’ is too lame, corny, cliché, whatever. He said ‘carbonized iron’, which makes it better, even though they are exactly the same thing. Well, they aren’t the same thing, it depends on the level of carbon included in the iron…

It’s always about the molecular structure, isn’t it, Kyle?

Kyle, another word of advice. There’s being polite, and there’s making out with a girl. These aren’t mutually exclusive, but being too polite and making out with a girl are. Besides, you only stayed in for about 2 minutes.

Carly’s clear hint amazes me. But Kyle’s obliviousness amazes me even more. Yes, I said obliviousness. Yes, I know it doesn’t really apply here.

“The socio-political implications of the film we saw earlier.”
Translation: Unknown.

Kyle isn’t all you hoped for, eh, Carly?

“…and I need a pretty boyfriend!” *Clears throat to draw attention to himself then points at himself* Get the hint, Carly? I’m lonely and available.

“My nose is bleeding. Weird, huh?” Come on, Spencer, don’t you know the meaning of subtlety?

“Oh, all right, just make sure to tilt his head 15 degrees and maintain pressure on his septum so the blood coagulates.” That is actually good advice…

Now, who studies for a date?

»Intermission«

Hi, I’m RobSp1derp1g with and an important message for all iCarly fans.

All reviewers are professional fans. The reviews we write on the blog take years to perfect and do safely.

I urge all iCarly fans not to copy what we do here, at home or at school.

Stay safe. Don’t try this.

»Scene 5: iCarly Studio«

Carly’s studying for her date, Freddie’s preparing the webshow and Sam’s flirting with the big fork.

Freddie asks Sam to help him with a camera check. She denies. Then he asks Carly. She says she’s studying for a date. It’s not something you hear every day.

Learning about boring Russian films and Mandarin Chinese can be fun.

“Wo bu ja dao” Are you having a seizure, Carly?

Snowman Gibby reporting for duty. The amount of times I’ve written Gibby on Microsoft Word  is so big, Word should have looked it up.

Who said purple is out of style? We’re Seddiers, we have purple lenses in our eyes. And this is an example of such lenses:

Purple PearBook and PearPad. Sam and Freddie wearing red and blue. ‘Nuff said.

Sam has the idea of cheating on a date. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

“You’ll be as smart as the Internet.”
“The Internet is pretty smart.”

The iCarly webshow commences. With a big fork.

»Scene 6: Bushwell Plaza, Apartment 8C (It’s easier this way)«

Carly’s set up for her date with Google, I mean Kyle. And Spencer’s still trying to open the safe, this time with a blowtorch.

Notes about foreign language. Noted. (smart pun, huh?)

“I gotta keep my fork shiny and lubed in case a meal breaks out.” I get the shiny part, but lubed?

T-Bo arrives for his makeover with some baked artichokes on a stick. It wouldn’t be T-Bo if he didn’t.

“I’m already wearing my fancy underpants…” Huh, okay?

There is such a thing as date bread…

Carly, that’s a danger, leaving Spencer unsupervised while he plays with fire…

Before opening the door, Carly shakes herself.

“Do I detect the aroma of a mélange of epicurean delights?”
Translation: “Do I smell a mixture of pleasurable delights?”

“Ablute” meaning wash up. He wants to wash up

»Meanwhile, upstairs in the iCarly studio«

Sam, Freddie and Gibby take T-Bo to Overhaulin.

And T-Bo’s been Overhauled!

Did Gibby become a taylor?

»Meanwhile, downstairs«

Kyle and Carly are happily dining.

“Ambrosial” means extremely pleasant to the taste.

A note, Carly. If you want to point out random facts during dinner, make sure you know them beforehand.

You don’t know the statue’s name, do you?

Hard cut to…

»8th floor hallway«

Freddie and Terrence arrive at the Benson apartment for the interview.

We are shown the Benson’s living room. This is a unique opportunity to analyze it and get to know what’s beneath Mrs. Benson’s habits. We may never get this chance again. I don’t want to do it right now.

Terrence has lots of time, but he must be on church at 9 PM. He’s part of the choir. Seriously now, I used to go to church on a Saturday night. It allowed me to sleep in on Sundays…

»Meanwhile, next door…«

Carly knows something that Kyle doesn’t? It’s a sign of the apocalypse!! Call the fire department! The Earth’s gonna explode!!

Carly, how could you tape cheat notes to the bottom of your plate? Use the table, it’s easier…

I facepalmed when I saw this:

“Rusha”, “Square, all sides r equal”, 2+2, triangle. All of that for what?

He tries to leave, and she says “I don’t lie while I’m kissing!” Reminds me of an similar situation on American Pie…

All of this while Sam watches. Personally, I think that’s not well done.

»Scene 7«

Spencer’s attaching something to the safe, and Sam’s trying to get Carly to feel better. She even gives her her big fork back. Why? She got another, bigger fork.

T-Bo’s now the neighbor of Carly Shay.

Spencer attached C4 explosives to the safe? Courtesy of Boomer, Socko’s cousin.

And inside the safe is, another safe!! This one is easier to crack.

And that concludes my iQ review. Hope you guys liked it! Please comment.

iLove You Review

Hey, people, welcome to my iLove You review! This is the last episode of the Seddie Arc, which of course means that Seddie will be an official couple by the end of the episode…

So, let’s get this review going!!

»Scene 1: Ridgeway High«

It has been too long since we walked the halls of Ridgeway High.

So, wait, Freddie is into model trains? I’m currently at a loss for words…

“Hey, I’m not gonna lie, I’m super bored by this.” And right now, me thinks I’m in love with Carly Shay.

“Hey there, Carls. Hey Freddie-baby.”
“Hey, little Samanther” *suggestive head turn in confusion.*

Seddie PDAs! “We haven’t kissed in 2 days.” “Our lips are starving!!” I foresee that this line will be replicated in lots and lots of fanfictions… You know the ones…

Sam and her mom went ‘shopping’. When will Pam stop being a bad example to her daughter?

And Freddie has to go with his mom to a “lady doctor”. This part has 2 possible interpretations: either they’re going to a doctor who is a lady, or to a doctor who is a doctor for ladies… English, a traitorous language.

Dating includes creating shared interests? Is that a rule?

The girls from the school soccer club are passing by. I know a girl who’s in a soccer club. Do you want to know who she is? 3 simple words. My first crush.

And she’s got golf balls to hit the girls… There were problems here because of that once.

Spencer just arrived at Ridgeway, and starts by saying “Stay My Baby.”

Who’s that Woman in the Red Dress? It’s Wendy The Waitress!

For those of you who don’t know who Wendy the Waitress is, she’s a character of the show How I Met Your Mother. She’s the waitress at MacLaren’s, the gang’s favorite bar.

On iCarly, she was Spencer’s babysitter.

Spencer has accomplished every little boy’s dream. Go out with his baby sitter.

»Title Credits«

»Scene 2: Shays’ kitchen«

Spencer’s on a date with Genna, his babysitter…

Apparently, $20… $40 can make Carly be Spencer’s server.

10-year-old Spencer has had an encounter with Genna’s boyfriend. And he bit him.

Boy Meets World? I’ve heard of it, but never actually seen it.

When Spencer tries to kiss Genna, Carly interrupts him. “Look, a murderer!” I simply HAVE to try that one… I wonder if Barney has…

And with that, Spencer has regressed.

»Scene 3: A Place where I don’t know where it is…«

Where is this?

I have a vague memory of this being the Gibson’s house, but can’t really be sure…

Oh!! It’s Freddie’s model train meeting! Today must be Wednesday!!

Freddie has arrived. And he has brought a girl… Those kids have no lives… Oh, that reminds me. *offscreen* Phoebe, can you please let Jeremy know that I won’t be able to attend the Chess Club on Thursday? Thank you!

“You’re 7 minutes late!” Did the world end yet? I don’t see the difference of arriving 7 minutes late to a model train meeting. However, if it was to a real train, things would be different.

A sale on hatchets?

“She’s a girl!” Really? I didn’t notice that…

“Gross, they’re flirting!” ‘Gross, they’re flirting?’ I don’t even know how to respond to that… Actually, I know, but I might insult some people, so I won’t say anything.

I wanna know how Sam did that thing to the kid. I MUST know that…

That’s so lame, And I’m sure Sam will agree with me.

»Scene 4: Bushwell Plaza«

Gibby’s brought a duck, which is called Larry, if I remember correctly.

I admit, I kinda get Gibby’s point when he refuses to take the duck back to the pond.

Spencer just came home with Wendy, I mean, Genna.

Oh, God, NOT AGAIN!!!

Genna got Spencer to get into his pajamas with the promise of popcorn…

– Meeting of the Model Train Club –

All that excitement for a model train run of about 30 centimeters?

Fig nooters?

It’s obvious that Sam doesn’t like model trains, or at least the hype it was given…

– Bushwell Plaza, Shays apartment. –

Genna, Spencer, Carly, Gibby and his duck are watching a scary movie.

After sending Spencer to bed, she sends Carly, and this happens…

What’s his secret?

– Meeting of the Model Train Club –

Sam modified the track so that both trains would move at the same. Unfortunately, they run into each other.

»Commercial Break«

»Scene 5: Bushwell Plaza, Shays kitchen«

Spencer’s working on a new sculpture… What is it? When I find out, I’ll let you know.

Freddie got an e-mail from the Training Bros… it says and I quote:

“Dear Freddie

Due to the recent explosion at our last meeting caused by your FEMALE, you are hereby kicked out of the Training Bros. Please return your cap, whistle and protective cup within 3 business days.”

And Freddie’s been receiving emails from both Hungry Girl and PCA. Yeah. I thought the school closed…

“What’s a protective cup?” Carly, you know about human anatomy, right?

“She’s not ready for that…” Is it just me, or these couple of lines have a “Socks” feel in them? Don’t know what “Socks” is? Ignorance is bliss…

Now, now, Freddie, don’t blame Carly…

Saturday, Sam and Freddie are going to go visit Sam’s locked up relatives.

»Scene 6: Seattle Penitentiary«

Sam and Freddie are in prison… visiting Sam’s relatives.

So, either Freddie is good for Sam, or Sam’s uncle Carmine and cousin Chaz will stab him, all over. It’s an easy deal.

What? Sam’s a smuggler now too? What did she smuggle?

Freddie’s pulling some items out of his pants.

Now, I’m afraid, but I must object about this. Freddie looks like he’s … well… doing something that I won’t say due to children reading this blog. He does look like he’s doing… that. And it gets worse. Freddie actually says “Prisoner is in my pants.” Take from that what you want…

»Scene 7 – Carly’s Room«

“Excuse me for not being skilled at removing hams from my pants… ” That’s so wrong…

1952 Fudgemaster? Oh, Trudgemaster… And it’s a 1951 one…

– Shay’s living room –

The Pudgy Monkey Goes to Banana Land. I think I read that book.

Genna is reading a story to Spencer. She doesn’t do this on How I Met Your Mother…

Look at this:

How does Carly not see Sam and Freddie?

“Does he make it to Banana Land!?”

– Elevator –

Sam and Freddie have a meaningful talk.

Both of them have a lot on their mind.

And Sam applies Carly’s words into her relationship with Freddie.

“…and you kissing me that night at school, that was… intense.” Just the word I was looking for.

“So, the kiss was just intense?”
“And fun.” I love when dialog mirrors other episodes…

Seddie just broke up? Okay… I have to say something… Keep reading.

“I love you.” That line stopped Sam dead in her tracks.

“I love you too.” And they kiss.

“It’s only 10:30.”

Sweeping Declaration: iCarly breakups happen in elevators…

BabelLeef: 

iLove You  – safe to say that I was bawling my eyes out all Saturday night, in denial Sunday, depression Monday, and Tuesday was when my friends and family told me, in their words, to “Cut it out or you will lose all contact with us.”

Mean, right?

The notes I have pulled together for this are AWFUL – they’re short, undetailed, and inexcuseable. Kind of.

Okay, awkward. ON WITH THE NOTES! :) (pre-warning – I did not re-watch the episode will typing these)

  • YES! IT’S THE RETURN OF… um.. oh god. I can’t remember the name of their school. It’s been THAT long. Okay, when was the last time we saw it? … (there’s a long pause until I remember iOMG.) Oh. Ahh. :’(
  • I really like Carly in this Arc. She’s kind of matured, and while she used to be REALLY annoying in Season One, she is definitely one of my favourite characters now. Awesome, right?

Overall Analysis: I liked the episode, it was very funny. I just didn’t like the underlying subliminal sexual references. I found them funny, I won’t lie, but I didn’t really like that Dan placed them in iCarly like that…

Seddie Analysis: Seddie broke up. And they still make out for another hour and a half. And they haven’t rejected the idea of getting back together. So, don’t lose hope, Seddiers.

Seddie will be endgame. Stay strong, Seddiers.

Until next week, ship hard!

iTeach micro-expressions on iCarly

Hello, people. RobSp1derp1g’s here once again.

I’ve recently been told that I have a useless blog that doesn’t teach anything. Well, that about to change! I’m here to teach you about micro expressions using examples from iCarly.

Now, a bunch of you know about a show on FOX called “Lie To Me” starring Tim Roth. That show was about a man, named Dr. Cal Lightman who can tell whenever you’re lying. He analyzes everything in your body, from the position of your hands to the way you tilt your head, to the simplest scratching of your eyebrow. Nothing escapes the guy. And look out, ladies, he’s British. And from watching pretty much every episode of the show, I’ve learned a few tricks.

For example, there are 43 muscles used in micro-expressions, which, when combined can sum up to a total of 10,000 micro-expressions.

There are 7 basic micro-expressions: anger, disgust, surprise, happiness, fear, sadness, contempt.

With these 7, you can identify a whole range of emotions.

Let’s now delve deep into these expressions. There are images about this with Tim Roth’s face on them, but since I cannot use them, I’ll use examples from iCarly.

Before I do, though, a warning. This stuff is pretty cool, but if you’re too into it, it’ll ruin your life. All people are allowed to have secrets, and if you go around trying to find them, people will be angry, and it may lead to other problems in your life. Just saying.

Anger
Contempt
Disgust
Fear
Happiness
Sadness
Surprise

Onwards and upwards! This is a common sentence used by scientists, even though Science should always look at all directions. Bones reference.

Anger

 

Anger can lead to a lot of unexpected situations so, one always should know how to identify it and, if possibly, defuse it.

Carly's angry because Sam and Freddie didn't tell her they kissed.

You can see that Carly’s pretty angry here. You can identify anger through several signs, the most common being the person shouting and overall being angry. But before these outbursts, you might be able to spot the eyebrows being down and pushed together, the eyes shooting a glare, possibly at the reason for the anger, and the lips being narrowed. The image above doesn’t really show it, because Carly’s talking.

Also, here’s another example:

If a girl, or anyone for that matter, looks at you like that, my advice is only one word: RUN!

Can you see the murderous intent on Carly’s eyes?

Contempt

 

This is the one I’d never find on iCarly. iCarly isn’t going to show a character feeling contempt for another, that’d just be…, well, not iCarly-ish. So, I was forced to go find an image that showed it. And I did. The credits for this image go to empathicperspectives.wordpress.com, who have a page with more on the subject than this simple page. Also to Tim Roth, who’s actually on the image.

Disgust

 

Want to feel disgust? Look at this picture. Just kidding.

This one’s easy, just think back at any time where any character shrugged. Or just try this:

If you looked at the image above, you’re probably feeling it right now. But in all seriousness, look at this:

Sam's disgusted at something someone's wearing.

You can identify disgust by noticing the nose wrinkles near the eyes, and the raised upper lip.

As you can see this one is pretty easy to identify.

Fear

 


This is the most common expression of fear. Your 2 best friends are about to fall down to their untimely demise and you’re scared. You’d be senseless not to be scared. But here’s the micro-expression:

Freddie: "Wait, I'm gonna have to jump? I won't live to kiss Sam 3 times! Or 4, considering Melanie doesn't exist..."

When a person experiences fear, the person’s eyebrows are raised and pushed together, the upper eyelids rise, the lower eyelids tense up and the lips stretch back to the ears.

Happiness

 

Happiness is probably the easiest one to identify, because when a person is happy, the world outside reflects that happiness!

But here’s how to ID happiness:

The chance to go to space would make anyone happy. Except those who get airsick.

Sam’s face includes crow’s feet wrinkles, which are always included in a real happy smile, as well as pushed up cheeks and movement from the muscle that orbits the eyes.

Sadness

 

Sam’s a girl with a lot of emotions, she gets sad once in a while too…

It hurts me to do this, but I have to.

The upper eyelids start to fall, your eyes lose focus and your lips’ corners drop down slightly.

Surprise

 

Possibly the easiest one. Carly with Sam at the dentist’s office and afterward, when Carly asks Sam and Freddie why didn’t they tell her.

Signs: the eyebrows are up, the eyes get wide, and the mouth opens in a gasp.

Remember, these expressions can appear and disappear IN LESS THAN 1 SECOND, so keep your eyes focused and ready!

RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews. Changing the iCarly blogosphere, one post at a time.

Am I dead? ‘Cause this seems like heaven…

There is a place where everything is good. Where there is no pain, no harm, and everyone is happy.

Some call it Heaven, some call it Nirvanna (2 n’s), others call it Capeside, Massachusetts.

Its true name is, Seddieland, also known as Seddie Heaven. Located around Seattle, Washington.

Why I say this? Take a look:

This is the official promo for the episode I saw while on the future. And the promo STILL gets to me…

And I’ll be a good friend and over-analyze it, like I did with the iOMG one!

Let’s get to work!

We are shown a part of the iOMG kiss. Then, the drama, so to speak, begins.

“Nothing will prepare you for what happens NEXT!” I disagree. Time travel does.

You can see what happens here, Sam is behind a door with a glass window. This could be the Troubled Waters Mental Hospital.

“This August…” It’s my birthday!!

Mrs. Benson hired a P.I. A so not-unlike-her thing to do. And he’s fully equipped, complete with raincoat, sunglasses and hat.

Freddie’s dating Sam… Oh, and you’re gonna love this:

It’s safe to say that Mrs. Benson doesn’t want Sam and Freddie to be together. But that doesn’t make her a Creddie shipper.

And another thing, or rather, two things:

You can see both Sam and Freddie going in for a kiss. Both Sam and Freddie are okay with it, and we can perceive that the iOMG kiss is no longer a problem at all. Also, Carly’s happy. Not “meh” happy, she’s genuinely happy.

“Are Sam and Freddie in love?”

“Sam loves Freddie! Sam loves Freddie!” This scene seems to me that it is before the previous scene.

“Will Carly keep them together?”

“I’m just supposed to sit here and wait for you guys to have a fight so I can settle it?”
“Pretty much!”
“We’d really appreciate it…” I can’t, for the life of me, do two things. Figure out how they get there, and not laugh when I hear this line…

“And the biggest question of all…” Have I lost my mind?

Lookie here:

Carly has her arms up in the first pic, but she’s not forcing them to kiss… If she was, Sam wouldn’t have her hand on Freddie’s forearm… Think about it.

Coming on August, 2011.

Amazing! Be ready!!

And I said there’d be a HUGE REVELATION on this post. Well, follow my train of thought.

The purple restaurant scene and the one where they are kissing in the kitchen were shot on the first week of production. The Troubled Waters Mental Hospital scenes were shot on the second. This leads me to say that this MIGHT be a 40-minute episode.

RobSp1derp1g out!!

iPity The Nevel review

Hello, and again, welcome to RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews computer-aided blog. We hope the time you spent watching iPity The Nevel has been a pleasant one. The episode has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the review proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all the blog’s posts, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from stop reading this review until it’s finished. If you finish the review, there will be cake. The review will start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

First of all, I’d like to apologize. This episode’s review came a little later than the rest, due to my personal life and iOMG been being announced and all the subsequent speculation that followed.

This episode of iCarly contains vampires, which will give me an unique oportunity to write a lot of vampire jokes, most of them shamelessly copied from Vampires Suck. No copyright infringment intended.

Oh, and one more thing: *Mr. T voice* I pity the fool who isn’t excited to see iOMG Part 2. If anyone was insulted, my apologies.

—————————————-
Location: Shay’s kitchen
—————————————-

Freddie’s sitting at the computer, while Spencer is sitting in the couch, doing something…

Freddie’s editing a mini video for iCarly.com. Oh, my mistake, turns out he’s “Frediting”. I don’t really know what that is. Carly kinda laughs at the joke.

“You really thought that was funny?” “No…” You have to admit, Freddie, that joke was kinda lame.

“What’s Fredly working on?” Well, Fredly’s work… Wait… Fredly?

“Look what I made!” Spencer, calm down, your sister’s talking…

What is an egg shooter? I’m afraid to know the answer.

So, it’s a water gun that was converted to use raw eggs… Neat. Does it work?

I should have foreseen that…

I don’t know if you guys know that TV show “Heroes”, it was about a bunch of people who had extraordinary abilities. Some would fly, some read minds, some controlled the space-time continuum. Well, it turns out that our friend Spencer here has the power of pyrokinesis. Create fire from nothing. Either that or a really cool special effect.

“A perfect Christmas gift”? I’m afraid I didn’t really understand this line.

Here comes Sam, she’s really in a hurry about a video that’s online…

“Going down!” Freddie has crashed…

I was unaware that Spencer knew another Nevel, and he’s a pianist.

“I’m gonna go ride bikes with Socko…” You do that, Spence…

The video is about Nevel. He has yelling at a little girl because she bumped into him and made him brake the last jar of some kind of pickles…

And they celebrate the downfall of Nevel A. Papperman…

—————————————-
Title Sequence
—————————————-

——————————————
Location: iCarly studio, broadcasting live
——————————————

The best way to prove ice is cold is: a) place a Gibby in a bathtub full of ice or b) insert water in the freezer. From then on, it’s a personal choice.

Whoa… Wait a minute. Maybe it’s my polluted mind (as my brother calls it), or does the following line have a double meaning?

Sam: “That proves it.”
Carly: “Ice is very cold.”
Sam: “Cold enough to freeze your Gibbys.”

I think it does…

iCarly premiere time. It’s time for the long-anticipated premiere of… of… *whispers* what’s the film name? Oh, right. Moonlight Twi-blood…

As Sam puts it, a vampire flick nobody needs or wants…

Let’s analyze Moonlight Twi-blood, a more terrible movie than “Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie”.

It’s the Cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought The Cowboy (“Cowboy” is read “Ca-buy”) was a Vampire.

The Idiot Farm Girl wants a vampire as a boyfriend… That’s totally what the girl on Twilight would do…

Introducing Fredward Cullen. He’s “eviler” than Edward Cullen and but still not funnier than Edward Sullen.

Notice the vampire voice. Attention ladies: he’s single! The only downfall is that he’ll stay that age for all eternity. The only thing that doesn’t is… Oh, I won’t say it, kids read this blog.

According to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you have to invite a vampire in order for him to go inside your house.

He pulled out the fangs. Look how pointy his fangs are…

Time for some narration:

“On the cold and dark (and wet) streets of Seattle, an Idiot Farm Girl has invited a vampire to her house… No one should do that. xoxo Gossip Girl”

She really wants him to be her vampire boyfriend… her VBF. ‘Cause that’s what she wants.

To computer experts much like myself, the letters VBF mean something entirely different.

But he can’t… he’s a monster… Come on, Fredward, there’s no need for that kind of low self-esteem… Kinda reminds me, of “You’re the fourth Jonas Brother” “I’m a killer!”

And if he tries to kiss the Idiot Farm Girl, he might bite her neck, you know, in a murderous fashion.

“You’re stupid…”

Time for some more narration:

“While the full moon is up there in the screen, I mean, sky, an evil vampire gang who looks like the Black Eyed Peas is trying to take over the world.” Oh, you know that’s not true, but still…

Fredward Cullen is in a love triangle. Those are always cool!!!

George!! Haven’t seen you in a while, you know, since you were FIRED!

George is fun to be around and he’s great with kids… but, he has a huge flaw that won’t allow him to be with the vampire… he’s a bra.

If every vampire did what Fredward did, there’d be much less victims of vampirism…

The End.

Now we get to see the Nevel video again…

“That’s why America now hates Nevel Papperman” They hated him first because of that awful review about them…

“We were ahead of the curve…”

Contoods!

“Goodnight nurse!”

Here comes the Gibster!

A Karma party is a party where you celebrate the failure and disappointments of your enemies. But remember, Carly, Karma works both ways…

“Just desserts.” This may have been the best applied line of dialog Freddie has ever had until this moment in time. Very good placement and acting…

————————————–
Location: Carly Shay’s Karma Party
————————————–

Welcome to the iCarly Karma Party! You celebrate the failure of Nevel Papperman. We got good tunes, piñatas, darts and the ladies get 1 drink free!

Chicken Karmesan?

Freddie’s been approached by 3 beautiful girls…

Whoa, apparently, Fredward Cullen’s voice makes even the most boring speech seem interesting.

Who’s the redheaded girl? I’ve seen her somewhere. I’m just not sure where that was…

Also, for fun, notice the blond girl.

Karma corn, Karma apples… What’s this?

“To Nevel’s misery!!”

————————————–
Location: Streets of Seattle
————————————–

Here he is, Nevel Papperman, walking in the streets of Seattle and drinking juice from a packet. Is his mom still in that cruise?

Please note how he carries with him a box (packet, bundle, whatever) of juice. Normally, hobos carry a bottle in a paper bag. Just letting you know.

Please notice the highlighted area. It’s too much for poor Nevel to see the reason for his downfall on a sitting bench like that. I mean, it’s because of Schneider’s All Varieties Gourmet Pickles that he is where he is. And he gets hit in the face with a burger.

And it starts raining on top of him.

And he gets wet. By a guy with a hose. Karma… It works in mysterious and weird ways…

——————————-
Transition to: Carly’s Karma Party
——————————-

The three girls from the other picture just left.

“Karmagain.” Understandable pun…

“One final toast to the downfall of Nevel Papperman!” Samantha, I’ll drink to that!

Liquid soap, Gibby?

Uh, Freddie’s got a text. From one of those 3 girls that left at the start of this scene. Here’s what she wrote:

“Freddie, you are so, so hot.” After he reads the text, he proceeds to giggle like a girl. Understandable, I’d do the same. But, so far, no girls have called me hot.

This is one of the moments in this episode that would be explained later on the show, namely about 3 weeks later.

“Man, what is it with girls? A guy acts like a stupid vampire on a screen and they get all floppy.”

Have you guys noticed that Sam employs the word “stupid” a lot more than the rest of the characters? I wonder why…

There’s a knock on the door. It’s the door to “The Twilight Zone.” Or maybe it’s “The Scary Door”, the Twilight Zone’s parody from Futurama.

Notice how the house is decorated. Full of anti-Nevel stuff. Imagine how Nevel would feel when he sees that.

It’s Nevel! I’m not here! –hides behind the kitchen counter-

“Nevel?”
“What’s he doing here?”
(in vampire voice) “I don’t know…”
Notice that Sam didn’t like that.

———————————–
Commercial Break
———————————–

Back to Bushwell Plaza.

Nevel is tied up in a not so comfortable position… with his hands tied to his feet.

But he complains about the fact that Gibby eats the pudding loudly.

“You hate us!” And not like Sam hates Freddie. Oh no, Rob, you didn’t…

Nevel makes an awesome heartfelt speech, but Gibby’s conclusion is the chiz. “This pudding rocks!”

“I hope you’ll be kind enough to untie me because I’ve lost all feeling in my hands and feet.”

He wants to show the world he regrets his behavior.

You’re willing to prove you’re a changed man, boy, person?

Sam never stops to amaze me…

What is this, Fear Factor? Nevel’s gonna have to dring half a can of Wahoo Punch from Sam’s sweaty sneaker. If he pulls this off, well, nothing’ll happen.

Sam carries a dead cricket in her sneaker… Not surprising.

Everyone’s reaction is the same. Disgust.

—————————
Location: The Groovy Smoothie
—————————

The iCarly gang is getting ready to record a part of the show from the Groovy Smoothie. Meanwhile Freddie gets an unexpected visitor.

Patrice approached Freddie. She’s clearly nervous, as indicated by her slight lip licking.

“Did you like what you saw?” “A lot.”

Freddie’s got himself a potential date… Again, Freddie, wait 3 weeks.

About this image there is few to say and much to admire. Freddie just asked the girls to allow him to make more vampire stuff on iCarly. Carly’s happy face indicates that she’s happy (duh) that Freddie’s having luck with girls. Sam, on the other hand, not so much. You can see she’s a little bothered by his success with the ladies.

Also, is that a compass she’s carrying around her neck? I thought I was the only one who did that…

This next moment is the previous scene in video form.

“America’s nr. 1 dipwad.” “Former dipwad.”

Let me get this straight, he’s screamed at a little girl, and to show how sorry he is, he offers people smoothies that he paid for and creamed corn made by him. I’m not convinced…

The recipe for the creamed corn comes from Nevel’s Grandpappy Papperman…

So, 1 error on this image.

We see www.danwarp.com on the address bar, but the site is iCarly.com.

Despite Nevel’s efforts, Stacey isn’t buying.

Funny how CreddieManiac is quoting Sam, isn’t it?

And what is HungryLisa saying?

What is Spencer doing? Counting screws. ‘Cause he’s bored…

Aw, come on, Nevel! You know that’s not true… Not everybody hates you… Just a big group of people…

Not even advice you can give them, Spence. They don’t want it either…

Nevel’s being attacked! By a headache!

Carly’s conforting Nevel… It’s amazing how Internet-induced shame can do to some people. And lookie here:

Notice the color of the circle on Nevel’s laptop… Yeah…

“No one’s truly gonna believe I truly feel bad about what I did.” Now that’s true, Nevel.

So, Carly hatches together a plan to help Nevel apologize to the world. And she means it.

Spencer, why are you placing butter upon your face?

——————————————
Location: iCarly studio, broadcasting live
——————————————

Gibby was just bitten by an African blowfish, who likes human flesh. Sometimes I wonder why he keeps doing this to himself.

Now look at this:

You can see the “On-line” sign above the door. I just noticed it and I absolutely loved it!

Also, you can see that Miranda is taller than Jennette. I did not know that.

Nevel is apologizing to the world.

“I, Nevel Amadeus Papperman, …” Amadeus?

In this image, no words were required or were provided. When the camera shows Sam, she shrugs, meaning she doesn’t believe that Nevel’s sorry.

Did Nevel just toss the paper?

A truly heartfelt speech from a truly ashamed and regretful webmaster.

A heart-warming moment between Nevel and Molly, the little girl at who he yelled.

Aww… Carly’s a little emotional.

Spencer shows up with absolutely nothing to say.

—————————
Location: The Groovy Smoothie
—————————

Freddie’s on a date with Patrice. You know, the girl who asked him out earlier that week.

She just dumped him. She claims “the vampire thing has played out”. What? No it hasn’t! Look at the Twilight saga, which is parodied in this episode.

Werewolf type? What? Is this a Team Jacob thing?

“Let’s roll.” Gibbeh…

Doesn’t Tasha get jealous? “We’re not exclusive.”

Nevel arrived at the Groovy Smoothie. I don’t think I’ve seen him on the Groovy Smoothie before.

He’s in debt with the iCarly crew.

And the story repeats itself…

“Aw, chiz.”

Again I’d like to apologize for the lateness of this review. My personal life has been interfering with my review schedule (yeah, I have one of those) and then iOMG was announced.

Thank you for reading my reviews.

RobSp1derp1g out!

iOMG is an appropriate title…

…however, I’m feeling down.

If you doubt my motives as a Seddie Warrior, look around you. I wouldn’t have built this if I wasn’t a full fledged Seddieshipper.

The reason for me being down is different. I’m jealous.

No, not jealous of Nathan (well, i guess I kinda am, but that’s not the point). I’m jealous of all the Seddieshippers who got to see it first-hand.

I was watching the episode, and I didn’t see the kiss. I know it’s not your fault, but I am… The damn stream had to fail right then…

I don’t know what to do, that’s all…

I’ll try to sleep it off.

The written review should be out tomorrow.

iOMG promos over-analysis. Another Rob’s Reviews Exclusive!

I said I would, didn’t I? I’ve watched the promos, and I all can say is “Freaking awesome!”

Also, I’d like to make a prediction, after I’m done. you will be saying Oh My God twice. At least.

Let’s get over-analyzing!

The promo starts with Sam and Freddie arm-wrestling, it serves as a way to show her tough girl side.

Then, some clips of Sam picking on Freddie. Y’all have already seen this.

Here’s a shocker, Sam’s in love.

Carly foolishly thinks it’s with Brad…

“And iCarly will never be the same…”

Freddie pushes a button on his laptop and looks ahead, possibly at Sam.
Sam looks straight forward, towards Freddie, maybe.

Carly’s giving Sam some encouraging words, telling her to make a move, to “have a little faith”. (Prison Break reference)

And now, the reason that brought me here today. Sam and Freddie’s civilized personal conversation.

If you look at Sam during the conversation, you’ll see Sam’s usual tough girl attitude has faded. She’s actually listening to him, and her body language, is really showing something she’d rather hide. You can see she’s fighting something, and she’s losing. She’s making a lot of involuntary gestures, and that shows us body language. I wish I could see Sam’s camera angle during that whole speech.
And Carly’s truly surprised…

This episode will rock the world’s socks…

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