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iStart a Fan War – Review

Hello, guys! Here we are, back from Webicon. Here at RobSp1derp1g’s iCarly Reviews, we must say that it was a fruitful experience. Why is that? Because I have never actually been in a convention like that. But I think I might actually start going, because then I’d have the possibility to find an amazing yet fairly unknown actress called Jennette McCurdy. Any of you heard of her? Me neither…

First and foremost, I must announce something. *serious lights are turned on* I have been rewarded with the oportunity of having another Seddieshipper working with me here. So, everyone, please give a hot welcome (warm seems too little) to omgwtfEmily! She’s the new author for this blog an will be working with me here on my reviews and speculations.

Anyway, I can see you guys are looking a bit glum. If you’re wondering how I can see you, the answer is simple. I’m in a dim-lighted-deep-underground-location-unknown-super-secret evil lair of doom. Do the math. As to why you guys are glum, it’s not my fault “The O.C.” ended. I liked Shailene Woodley, even though I never actually saw her on this show, as Mischa Barton’s little sister.

Oh, you’re sad about the whole “Seddie vs. Creddie” thing. About that, I have 2 words: READ BELOW.

One thing I have noticed about this episode is that we don’t know who has written the episode. Why is that?

Review, I choose you! Oh, I forgot, this isn’t Pokémon.

The episode starts with Carly and Freddie entering school. They’re discussing something with “lots of different kinds.” And it’s not actually discussing, it’s more like bothering, because only Freddie is talking.

40 grid, 60 grid, 80 grid, Huh? You lost me. No, wait. Freddie didn’t lose me. He never had my attention.

Turns out that they’re talking about sandpaper. Interesting topic.

Sam has a lunchbag, a rare sight, rare sight indeed… Pam is trying to be a better mom.

I don’t live in the States, but I don’t think that in the USA, one’s two best friends would inspect one’s lunchbag.

Also, only Pam Puckett would send a C battery in her daughter’s lunchbag.

You can’t really blame her for trying, Sam.

And there he is… Walking down the stairs of Ridgeway High… Adam. There is also wind that shakes Adam’s clothes. Ah, Hollywood…

Oh, Carly’s got a crush on Adam… *half an hour later* shhhhhhhhh…

Whoa, why are Adam’s clothes being pushed back?

Gibby has a fan… I guess Dan had to do it…

Freddie’s not that upset about Adam… Could this mean…

“And he’s coming this way.””Shut up and be cool!”

»»»»» Adam’s Guide to Talking With Girls: «««««

1- When talking to a girl, instead on telling her she’s pretty, make a remark on what she’s holding. If she has a crush on you, she’ll ignore the comment and carry the conversation from there.

When do things go as well as we hope, Carly?

— Title Sequence —

You guys know I usually skip this and go directly to the episode, right? Well, not this time.
This time, I’ll show you something that has intrigued me.

The first thing you might notice is Freddie’s arm around Sam. Yeah, I know, hard to miss. Even more so after I marked it. But for now, please focus on the microphones. The only episodes where microphones were used were iDo, iStart a Fanwar and due to the nature of the episode, iParty With Victorious. Since the first two already aired, I guess the next big scene will happen on iParty With
Victorious.
Now you can look at Freddie’s arm.

»»» Location: Bushwell Plaza, iCarly Studio «««

The girls got a question from frogpunch99. These fans have amazing questions. They don’t ask if you can cook a pickle with a blowtorch. They ask how to do it correctly. Excellent question.

We discover that Socko has a cousin which is a professional welder. His name is Bernie. He proceeds to burn the pickle.

Carly and Sam got news for us guys! It turns out that they’re going to Webicon!!

They wanted to go last year, but they were kidnapped by a super-crazy-psycho fan who locked them in her basement. Nora even tried to kill Gibby, but she was brought down by him ans his younger brother, who has a nack for saying “Happy Birthday.”

“Gibbeh…” No offense or anything, but right now, Gibby sounded like a Pokémon.

Answer questions, which will be totally unrelated to the love lives of the cast, sign autographs, meet fans, who make assumptions about the love lives of the cast…

“Mr. Pickle’s gonna feel that tomorrow…” I love that accent.

»»» Timeskip to: Carly’s new room «««

More sandpaper talk… Who cares about that? Freddie, apparently, and not Carly.

Whoa, Spencer is playing World of Warcraft… I mean World of Warlords… Yeah, that is totally what I meant…

That is how a WoW (glad the acronym is still the same.) player plays the game. He or she yells incessantly at their opponents, despite the fact that they know they can’t hear him or her.

“Enjoy your ghostly stroll from the graveyard…” Actually, I play WoW. And I must say that the ghostly stroll from the graveyard isn’t that bad… If you find your body, you can ressurect for free…

Whoa, they turned to Carly at the same time… Intense…

“It’s not a game, it’s a lifestyle…” If by any chance Dan reads this, what is this is a reference to?

Only a nerd would know what an MMORPG is… Actually I like MMORPGs but I prefer RTSs. Oh, better yet, FPSs!

“Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.” *fistbump*

Spencer, that is a mistake make gamers make. They go get food. While I am the first person to acknowledge the benefits of ingesting foods, doing so while playing MMORPGs might result in more frequent visits to in-game graveyards.

A boat on a coffee table? Now I’ve seen everything…

“Oh my God, it’s Adam! He wants to videochat! Be cool!” Carly, when is Freddie not cool?

I would like to take a few minutes of your time to talk about the TV in Carly’s room. It’s awesome, and I bought one with relatively the same size.

One note. As much as I love Miranda Cosgrove and recognize her talent as an actress, I think that when she says “you did?” was bad. I think she was supposed to be surprised, I mean, her crush just saw her perform in her weekly webshow and she’s not that surprised?

Burning a pickle…

Oh, come on, Carly. Freddie just wants a little recognition…

“Nice hat!”

“Leave the hat.” “No, I need to wear it!”

Now Carly sounded a bit desperate… But she’s not! This is a direct contrast with iSpeed Date, in which she was desperate, but didn’t want to sound it.

Carly knows about the Creddie shippers…

*rubs hands together while looking around the room* …WHAT?? We’re the nervous ones?? Come on!!! We’ve been fighting Creddiers from day one! And they are the nervous ones!!

Small note: Adam is a Seddieshipper. You know why I say this? He didn’t know the name of the ship, but when he did, he said, “got it.” Which means he wants Sam and Freddie together.

“So you and Freddie definitely aren’t together?” “God, no!” Tremble before the power of this statement, Creddieshippers!

Adam asked Carly out, but her busy schedule is in the way.

“Swear?” Look out for words with double meaning…

Spencer comes back with the cheese.

“I told you to never sneak up on me when I’m thinking about boys!” How is Spencer supposed to know when you are thinking about boys?

Spencer arrives with a bombshell. He’s going to Webicon.

Turns out he wants to win a stume contest (stume is cool talk for costume). So basically, he’s gonna be a cosplayer.

PILLOW FIGHT!! But Spencer, she’s unarmed…

»»» Transition to: Bushwell Plaza, Shay’s kitchen «««

Spencer is measuring his stume and making all necessary modifications…

Like any responsible adult, Spencer asks the kids how was school.

“Aced my Physics test.” “Nice.”
“Got an A on my World History report.” “Good boy.”
“Had egg salad for lunch.” “Tastee”.

Look how Freddie became psyched about the stume (by now, it sounds lame.)

Is it possible that two girls who never had any contact with World of Warlords do not know who Aruthor is? Yes, it is.

Aruthor is the greatest warrior in the entire realm of World of Warlords. His powers are equaled by no other. So Aruthor is a parody of Arthas. And the only match for Arthas is the Lich King. I take it that’s what Aspartamay’s based on. Yes, I’ve played the game.

Again, is it possible that two girls who never even heard of World of Warlords don’t know why can’t they battle. But I get the feeling it’s about to be explained.

Freddie is terrified of Sam. Just one look from her and he starts shivering. Well, not shivering, but he does get afraid.

Hoobscher fyords. Again Ben Heubsher is mentioned. Don’t we all love iCarly’s script coordinator?

“It’s so weird how you guys don’t have girlfriends…”

Farquar dimentional plane. Got it.

A battle so volatile it could destroy the multiverse… UHHHHH…

I’m a sucker for everything that includes multiverses. I think it’s the possibility of exploring new… oh, you don’t care…

Diet soda for the win!

Jewels on the butt flap? New level of nerdiness, Spencer Shay.

Go get a sponge, Sam…

»»» Transition to: bird’s eye of Seattle «««

Again, I am forced to interrupt this, because I noticed something.

Dan took images from Comic-Con and modified some logos to make them look like Webicon. I said some, because there are some which show clearly it’s from Comic-con. But a good try nonetheless, Dan! Here is an image that proves it:

The cast has arriveth. I mean arrived. They meet Corbin Davis, Webicon VIP liaison. What that means, I don’t know.

Nora is brought up again. She had a chicken…

Uh… smoke effects… Nice.

You are Aruthor! But even Aruthor can be hit by automatic doors.

“You have a couple of broken steam pipes over there.”

“Is there a bathroom I can use?” “Right next to the iCarly conference hall.” Incredible! Just as I have foreseen! Take a look:Well, it’s a little far off…

“We have a conference hall?” “I am Aruthor!”

Freddie was kidnapped by the iCarly fangirls! Hurry, Sam, go and save your friend. Right now he’s just your friend.

Sam has landed right on top of Freddie. You hear him scream…

“Those girls will tore you to pieces!” “I know! Woo-hoo!!” There Freddie goes, willingly, into the middle of the crazy fangirls…

—Commercial Break—

I already saved him once, that’s all he gets from me.

We all know you’re Aruthor, Spencer…

“Give me my longstaff, I made it.”

Apparently Dan saw the Simpsons fragment called Man Getting Hit By Football.

“Tragedy!”

“Here’s your nerd stick.”

While Spencer signs up for the stume contest (it still sounds lame…), Adam shows up!

Gibby’s joining the cast, along with his brother…

»»» Location: Parking lot «««

Gibby, Guppy and their grandpa are on the car “on their way” to Webicon.

Mr. Gibson has fought 7 years on a 2-year war in Korea. He met a lady there.

“My pants are too tight!” I agree with you, Guppy!

Mr. Gibson can’t eat corn, do da, do da.

And they’re still parked…

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

Hoobscher Fyord Vs. Pernicious Berm. The fight all the World of Warlords would rather avoid.

“Your costume is so level 90!” “Epic stume” (It STILL sounds lame…)

Why is it so hard to believe that Spencer made the costume himself?

“I think I’m cocky enough…”

Webicon visitors are advised not to get too excited about any of the panels, it may be hazardous to your health.

The epic encounter between Aruthor and Aspartamay has already made casualties: one teen has fainted.

For the first time since the creation of the game, Aruthor and Aspartamay meet face to face…

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

Adam is being redirected to the iCarly Q&A panel.

We see Stacey, who is a little emotional.

Next, it’s Craig and Eric. They’ve been in line for two hours.

With only a few minutes until the Q&A begins, Sam has disappeared.

But lo and behold, here she comes, with a drink in her hand.

Fat Shake. “Brand new from the good people who bring us Fat Cakes.” The truth about these is, they are made from low fat Fat Cakes.

The Q&A is just about to begin.

“My name is Adu!” Congratulations, Adu! You just lost an amazing oportunity to be quiet. Another Simpsons reference.

“I have a question. You guys are awesome!” Another one, Adu.

Girl in pink shirt: 93 sound effects for only 6 buttons, how is it possible?
Answer: The remote is programable. And it seems that Craig and Eric had a wager going on…

From now on, I’m gonna call Stacey “The girl with the bow on her hair.”

Stacey was cured of her speech issues but had a relapse. I know what you mean, girl…

Say what? Stacey’s a Creddieshipper?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO00000000000000ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo00000000000000000000000…

As soon as Stacey announces her ship, another guy starts booing her and shouting “Seddie!”. First, a note. Not all Seddieshippers are like that. I, for one, am not like that. I respect Creddie, and other ships.

“Carly and Freddie, what are the circumstances of your romantic relationship? Details, please.” Gee, next time, try being a bit more direct, okay, Stacey?

What? They are the ones that supposedly are in a romantic relationship (which they aren’t, by the way), but you think you know more than them.

Also, something fun to notice is that the PearPad girl has pictures! PICTURES!! What do they prove? Absolutely nothing. Look, we see that the only first two pictures are Creddie-ish. The rest is Baby Spencer, alone and with his maid, Gibby, Spencer, and actual iCarly photos. We even see the knowing smile Spencer does from iNevel, you know when Sam and Freddie are fighting (I think this description didn’t help much…)

Even Man-boobs agrees with Stacey and the PearPad girl. By the way, the website proves nothing. Nothing on the website points towards Creddie.

Oh, Adam’s getting angry… You won’t like him when he’s angry.

You are a bad girl, Sam… You know that’s not true and you still say it? Oh, it’s just for the laughs. In that case, okay.

That did it. Not only did Sam cause an all-out fan war, it completely crushed Adam’s heart…

It may be fun, Sam, but it’s wrong.

END OF PART ONE.

»»» Commercial break «««

The fan war Sam created still ensues. And Corbin is trying to calm the fans down…

Sam offered Freddie her Fat Shake…

Freddie knows Carly likes Adam, and is not upset about it. He’s over Carly, peoples!!!

Oh, Sam, now you’ve done it good…

She jokingly announced that Creddie was true and now Adam’s heartbroken…

Why would a shuttle come pick Adam up?

Why would she need an extension cord?

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

Aruthor and Aspartamay are judging each other’s costumes.

Aspartamay’s saying Aruthor’s costume is good, for an amateur… Oh, it is on in a matter similar to that of Donkey Kong.

Oh, Spencer’s costume is based on the beta version of Aruthor…

“What’s wrong with my jewels?” This has so many interpretations…

And now they are poining the flaws on each other’s costumes.

This is a sign that new methods of thought are reaching new ways of being acknowledged. Even videogame characters are vegetarians…

»»» Location: Inside-Out Burger «««

Mr. Gibson wants soup. So he goes to the Inside-Out Burger.

With Guppy shouting “French fries!”, and Mr. Gibson not knowing who’s speaking through the drive-through, it turns out it’s a painful morning…

“I’m hearing the voices!!” Oh, Guppy…

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

Next question is from Craig, who hails from San Diego.

Only a nerd would reference Stargate in a regular conversation.

Adu, it doesn’t matter how many times they say they aren’t dating each other, you guys can’t get it through your thick skull of yours…

I’d like you guys to remember an older time, when the iCarly cast went to Land of the Rising Sun…

When the Nakamura Hotel clerk claimed they were on honeymoon and he got slapped? Well, look at him now. Dozens of fans claiming he’s dating Carly and yet, not a single smile. I’m sorry for saying this, Creddie fans but Freddie’s just not that into Carly.

They were kicked out of the TCAs? Why? Oh… Not even iCarly is safe from Justin Bieber…

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

And now Aruthor and Aspartamay are in a healthy swap of insults…

I like how Steve (I call Steve to the guy who’s playing Aspartamay) breaks character to say “Okay, seriously, dude, you take that back right now.”

Now we get to see an epic showdown between Aspartamay and Aruthor.

And those teen in the middle, “the prophecy…”

The epicness of this battle has to be expressed in it’s original form. In text.

Aspartamay: You maggot, you fool, know you not what you say, prepare to be PWNED by Aspartamay!
Aruthor: You look like you’re hungry, so taste the blade of Aruthor!
Aspartamay: Your blood, it will boil, your flesh I shall burn into eternal damnation, but I guess that you’ve earned it!
Aruthor: You will beg for mercy, when I own you in the FACE!
Aspartamay: I’ll thrust my sword through your lily white gullet, you’ll look like a troll with a chambermate mullet!
Aruthor: You emanate a stench so foul that when you’re near it makes me HOWL!
Aspartamay: I’ll bleed ye dry and ye shall cry, (imitating a baby crying) Wah wah wah wah, ba ba ba ba!

And a song ensues. And then a fight.

And then we’re back on Gibby’s car.

Gibby’s way of manipualating his grandpa deserves applause.

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

Sam returns with Adam tied up.
A small fun fact *hears faint voice* Well it is fun to me! When Phoebe, Steve and I went to Webicon, we were supposed to cover the event live, but we lacked a very important cable. One that Steve forgot. So, when he was holding a camera at this time, when Sam passed by him, she punched him in the nose. Hey, see it on the bright side. At least you got a free souvenir…

He was resisting… okay.

When Sam calls them people they don’t respond, but they answer by fans of iCarly.

Sam has 2 announcements:
– having a Fat Shake is like sucking heaven through a straw.
– She was joking about Carly and Freddie.

Adu’s comment is remarkable. “She pulled our collective legs!”

Sam and Freddie FOR THE WIN!!! <- This is both a quote and a statement said by me.

The girl who asked the first question is a Seddieshipper…

Another fan war…

Stool!

— Commercial Break —

The second fan war rages on…

Sam’s family reunions seem to be pretty funny…

We know that, Corbin.

“A nerd riot can last for days! Most of these people don’t have jobs or lives to go back to.” So basically the insanest-most-hardcore shippers are uber-nerds? I agree…

“STOP IT!!! POR FIN!!”

That guy who yells “You lie!”… Why is he all formal?

And the riot resumes…

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

Aruthor and Aspartamay are still at it…

That nerd as referee cracks me up!

It has come down to this: Longstaff vs. wristballs.

»»» Location: Mr. Gibson’s car «««

Mr. Gibson is fighting with the drive-through guy…

Where’s his soup?

And the drive-through guy is pulled out of the winder.

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

The riot seems neverending…

And Carly’s solving a Rubik’s cube. She got one side done.

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

The leaders of the Hoobscher Fyords and the Pernicious Berm are still fighting…

Aruthor’s getting pwned!

Total pwnage!

It’s not a rock, it’s a piece of cement.

Spencer has chlorene in gas form…

Bring the tenacious floggers!

»»» Location: iCarly Q&A panel «««

Corbin called the chief of security.

Who is stupid enough to hold a live flare??

That is the whole reason reason iCarly was created… To share fruit.

Creddiers: “Let’s get this guy because apparently he is the only thing in the way of Creddie, even though we have no reason whatsoever to attack him!”

Carly’s indifference is incredible. “Did anyone understand what I was trying to sa… oh, forget it…”

This is what I don’t understand. We Seddiers have nothing against Adam, but he’s being poked by Seddie paddles.

“He belongs to them now…”

He won’t forget it…

»»» Location: World of Warlords panel «««

The tenacious flogging continues.

“The kids from iCarly approacheth.”

“He’s not my friend, he’s mean…”

“Aruthor has a sister?”

“Your costume’s lame!” Good one, Spencer!

The mighty Aspartamay is going down with a bitten thumb?

You’ve snatched his browny jewel. So he’s gonna die.

He could reanimate, but it would take the power of all 99 mages and Sam doesn’t want it.
Look how Sam bends Freddie’s will with just 4 words…

“Can we go home now?” “After we blow the horns of our forefathers, symbolizing the vanquish…”
“We’re going home!” “I’ll get the car.”

At long last, Gibby arrives at Webicon. He had to lie to get here.

My 2 dollars: This episode was really funny, congrats to Jack Black for another successful performance. The promos were VERY misleading. I was mislead by them, I admit it. But the goal of iCarly is to make people laugh. And I get that everytime my 4-year-old cousin starts randomly shouting “Gibby!”

I recommend you guys to read this blog post by Dan: Here

Oh, I almost forgot… I have found scriptures that predict what happened these last few days…

They were written in a ancient e-book.

They go as follows:

“The epic event took place and followers around the globe and Wisconsin desired to see which side reigned victorious, the Fram or the Frarly. But in the end, the battle was not solved. So, the followers rose against the Creator and demanded to know why their questions had not been answered. The Creator saw this and posted on his blog. And the followers of the Creator saw that it was good.”

In case you can’t tell, the text above was written by me.

Ever since this site existed, I’ve been trying to find a catchphrase I could call my own.
I am proud to say I have found it.

Seddie, it’s not a ship, it’s a lifestyle.

iSell Penny-Tees – Review

Dearest readers, I come to you bearing bad news. This will be my last review… for a while. My PC is actig kinda weird and is in need of a cleansing, so I decided to reinstall Windows. I won’t even do iDo’s review, not until my PC is back on track.

So, without further adue, here’s my review for iSell Penny-Tees.
Read the rest of this entry

iReunite With Missy – Review

*singing* It don’t take money, don’t take fame, don’t need no credit card to ride this train. It’s strong and it’s sudden and… Oh, it’s on!

Hello everyone! How’s every little thing?
You have caught me singing to one of the best songs of all time. Time. Such a fascinating concept…

Most people think time is like a river, that flows swift and sure in one direction. But I have seen the face of time, and I can tell you, they are wrong. Time is an ocean in a storm. You may wonder who I am or why I say this. Sit down and I will tell you a tale like none you have ever heard…

Why do I start randomly quoting movies and videogames… I have to get this fixed…

Anyhow, I think you’re here for my next review, right? This time the episode will be… I said, will be… oh, right. Phoebe’s not here for the week and the drum’s broken. *takes 2 pens and starts drumming them* Homemade drum roll… The episode will be… The one what tied with iKiss on my poll. And that episode is… a good one. And that episode’s name… starts with an ‘i’. Should I stop stating the obvious? Hell, yes! The episode is iReunite With Missy! 217 in production order.

But enough of this. Episode review, start!

We all love big boxes like the one Spencer is carrying…

Events of the day:
1) Carly got an A on her geometry test. Geometry’s easy, so…

2) Sam had fish sticks for lunch. Fish sticks are good. It reminds me of this quote by the man himself, Homer Simpson: “Hmm, unprocessed fish sticks…”

3) Freddie’s locker was robbed! What was stolen? Just the sleeves and his pants legs. Personally, I think that look might actually become a trend.

Sam blames the tartar sauce. Sure, Sam, it’s all the sauce’s fault.

See? Carly’s right. You’re all friends… not friends and a co-worker.

“Would that make you happy?” I crack up.

I wonder if Freddie got too hurt. It sounded like he did.

But his mom was cool about it. She only screamed once when Freddie hit the shelf.

Why would Spencer have cheese on a box? Man, it sounds like some kind of product…

Oh, a camping trip! Count me in! Who’s going?

*gulp* Socko’s grandmother? Count me out, Spence… Is she the brick lady? What? I’m only asking… There’s no crime in that, is there, Sam? *hears whispers* Sam says no.

Spencer goes on a camping trip, leaving his little teenage sister and her meat-craving best friend at home and Mrs. Benson says nothing about it? I mean, come on!! Isn’t she trying to make him more responsible? No? My mistake then.

A puppet show about personal hygiene? Was it Oompé, the poopet? Random? Yeah, much…

Why does Carly want the flare gun for?

Guadalajara, Sam? That’s like, somewhere, outside…

We meet Missy, who is portrayed by Miranda Cosgrove’s real life best friend Haley Ramm. Only fairly recently, I have discovered that Haley had portrayed Gwen Tennyson on Ben 10: Race Against Time. I saw that movie and I didn’t recognize her. I feel like such a bad fan…

Fangirl squeaks. It hurts to much to hear it…

Carly and Missy go back a long time.

There’s the flare gun…

~~ Title Sequence ~~

– Setting: Ridgeway High School –

Mr. Howard is announcing the School at Sea program to the student community.

Pretending to study? People actually study in there! Look at… No, he didn’t go in it. But what about… She got seasick… Oh, this one actually studied in one of those. Cody Martin! *Alarm and flashing hazard lights turn on* *Off-voice says “Disney-related content has been mentioned”* *pushes a button* I have GOT to get this thing updated. The point being, you actually study in there.

Freddie wants to win that contest. Bad enough to go into the mob full of kids while quoting “The Matrix”. ‘I’m going in.’ Both “Neo” (Keanu Reeves) and “Trinity” (Carrie-Ann Moss) say that line.

What’s up with Kevin’s onion ring? Now I’m curious. Yet something tells me that I might regret it.

Navy members can request airborne transportation for family stuff. That’s a fact. Or not.

That teacher is officially the worst thing I have layed my eyes on… That blue thing on top of her eyes… *goes to corner, gets into fetal position and starts rocking himself while saying “It’s blue. It’s blue! The the freakin eye shadow is blue!!”*

>>> Transition to: Bushwell Plaza’s basement <<<

Spencer is getting his sleeping bag. What events will unfold while he is in here? Let’s watch…

A little question for my readers. Can anyone tell me what is written in the box behind Spencer? I can only make out “… red … B’s” If you know what’s written, please leave a comment. If you don’t, leave a comment.

That seems heavy…

>>> Transition to: The Shay’s kitchen <<<

I don’t mind that military people use airborne transportation for their own personal reasons, but landing a helicopter in a pizza store parking lot just to get some pizza? That’s… that’s… do they have mushrooms in that pizza place? They do? Then I don’t mind at all…

“Wanna punch? Yeah, punch me.” I’m sure that Sam might do that…

We see Sam entering the Shay’s apartment with a piñata shell. Where did she get that? Definitely not at the meat festival. Unless… Oh my God, it’s full of meat! YAY, meat piñata!!

“Colorful shells full of empty promises” Good one, Sam! I swear that’s one of the best lines ever. Get it? “Promises?” “Swear.” My jokes aren’t what they used to be…

“She wahooed my phone!” Now’s your chance, Sam! she wanted to be punched, so, punch her! I wanna see a chick fight!

Persian chocolates? Sounds yummy. I met a Persian prince, he had to fight the incarnation of Fate. And he won.

>>> Transition to: Bushwell Plaza Basement <<<

Spencer is stuck below all the junk in his, thing that resembles a locker.

What’s wrong with the ringtone?

This has GOT to be the shortest scene in all of iCarly-dom.

## Transition to: Shay’s Kitchen ##

It turns out that the chocolates are good.

## Scene cut to: basement, again ##

Introducing new challenger. Chuck Chambers.

You know what they say, Spencer. Payback’s a *manually censored word*. Vengeance is a dish best served icy.

It’s kinda weird that such a small kid can be so vicious.

## Setting: iCarly studio ##

Sam is sick? “What? Why?”

It’s often bad when people feel like butt.

What swingset? I’m tired of hearing things about that swingset and I wanna see the swingset and I can’t see the swingset. Should I stop saying swingset? Yes, I swingset, I mean, should.

Missy intended to poison Sam, but her plan didn’t include co-hosting iCarly. That was a perk. (Time for some 80’s music reference! “Every rose has it’s thorn, just like every night has it’s dawn. Just like every cowboy has a sad, sad song. Every rose has it’s thorn.”) A song loved amongst Advanceshippers.

Look at Freddie’s face when Sam’s leaving. He’s clearly upset. If I were Freddie, I’d activate the B-cam and go with Sam.

—– Commercial Break —–

Carly brings Sam some soup. Chicken soup. Freddie soup. SHE ATE FREDDIE!! (Seriously, now, I had a theory about this, chicken soup and Sam, but I forgot. Once I remember, which I will, I’ll post it here for your reading pleasure).

“Just like mom never made.” Incredible. Sam keeps coming up with the best lines.

“Missy didn’t touch this, did she?” Again, my statement is proven true.

The chocolates’ expiration date is written in foreign. I can read foreign!

1992? God, that’s old! That’s even older than… Oh, Sam has already done this.

It could be a surveillance camera. That wart’s so big it could fit a whole news van in it.

Gibby, a mermaid? Actually that’s one of the most credible theories I’ve heard. I know about someone who thinks Gibby is part of an alien race who is trying to conquer Earth.

That’s the first time I believe Sam when she says she’s not jealous.

A chocolaty stomach bomb.

A tasty chocolaty stomach bomb.

>>> Transition to: Bushwell basement <<<

This is one of the few instances that Dan Schneider has used real-world video game consoles. Either that, or he invented a fake name for the PSP.

Uh, is the police threat supposed to get a 12-year-old boy scared? That threat got Spencer to be shot by a water gun. Which had a liquid which was not water.

In a “keadnapping”, this is the part where the police asks the kidnapper what are his or her demands. Spencer’s list of possible demands are quite, how can I put it, uncommon… Money? Common motive. Power? By holding someone prisoner against their will, they have power over the prisoners. An ostrich? Don’t give Marvin up, Spencer!! Who’ll bite your pants when he’s gone??

Classical move by Spencer. I call this move the “come-here-and-I-will-tell-you-a-fake-secret-that-will-ultimately-do-nothing-but-contribute-to-my-own-suffering”. Short name, I know. There are longer ones, trust me.

>>> Transition to: The Groovy Smoothie <<<

You know that speech that Missy says? The whole “I wouldn’t get between you and Carly” thing? If my brother was writing this, he’d write: “FAKE!!! YOU’RE LYING!!! YOU LYING LIAR!!” “I still think Gibby’s a mermaid…” Oh, Sam.

You know the latest iCarly.com random debate? The one with Gibby and T-Bo? It’s my turn to come up with a word.

——-
Word: STEREOPOLIZE

Category: verb

Meaning: To celebrate or commemorate an event with the sipping of smoothies.

Used in a sentence: Carly stereopolized with Sam and Missy.
——-

Is it just me, or Sam just said the longest threat EVER??

Missy’s argument has valid points…

Defective cup? I think you can sue! Call Sally Jenson, Kid Lawyer. SHE FIGHTS FOR YOU!! (wow, it even rhymed)

– Setting: Bushwell Plaza –

Do you know what’s coming next? I think you do! It’s the famous hallway scene! Seddie FTW!!

Sam’s impersonation of Missy was accurate, in my opinion.

You can see that Sam got hurt by Freddie’s disbelief in her. But Freddie was not 100% sure that Carly was right. He said maybe twice.

One reason: that is all it takes.

What she said is true, Freddie. She claims to hate your guts, and now she has asked you for help.

That alone should mean something.

Now take a few moments to reflect on this scene. Now, if you can listen to “Cloud Number Nine” by Bryan Adams, please do. Click on this link to hear the song.

What’s butter got to do, got to do with it?

– Setting: Ridgeway High School –

“Ahoy!” Mr. Howard just informed Missy that she won the SAS contest.

Sam’s was half-smiling because of 2 things: Missy won the SAS contest, which means, she’s gone. And because Freddie didn’t win it… <– These are here for a reason.

“I couldn’t care less about the words I’m saying…” Gold.

Of course! Participating in a 6-month cruise around the world is way better than being with your best friends, who will last for life.

“Sometimes good things happen to hideous people…” Here she goes again.

“You’re a…” “Whackjob” “…Whackjob!”

“Mama does love her meat!” I love that accent.

“I should have believed you.” “Yeah, no chiz…”

Sam Puckett, criminal-in-training.

– Setting: Bushwell Basement –

Look at Chuck’s quick movements. That kid moves fast…

His I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on voice is amazing. “Hi, daddy!”

“And he squirted me with fluids!” Oh, Spencer…

“What was in that squirt gun?”

– Setting: Ridgeway High School –

Austria and Australia ARE NOT the same thing. Just to be sure.

Here comes Wendy. She’s so… so… wait a minute, I don’t know anything about her! But she does seem to know something about Freddie…

He does seem interested in not letting Wendy finish.

Now I’m confused. Who won the SAS thing? Fredward Benson or Missy Robinson?

Oh, so that’s what happened…

Riiight, I’ll tell you what I told Sam the other day, I’ll pretend I believe that.

You do care about Sam…

And Missy is throwing up like there’s not tomorrow…

As you can see, this episode, while not filled with Seddie action, had some strong moments.

Now, I have an announcement. There will be some cool stuff coming soon to this blog and all of the Seddieverse. And I don’t mean iSam’s Mom. Stay tuned!

Until we meet again, have a Seddietastic Seddietember and have your daily Seddie fix!

iPilot Review (BIG text ahead)

Here’s my review for iPilot.

WARNING: THIS REVIEW IS ENORMOUS, BUT IT HAD TO BE MADE THIS WAY. THANK YOU.

When we see iCarly’s first episode, we are presented with a nametag someone named Franklin, who is a principal. He is laughing loudly at something, and even though we can’t see what it is, we also laugh, because laughter is contagious. As the door of his office opens, a woman who appears to be in her 40’s (I’m being generous, I know) and principal Franklin puts down his paper and immediately stops laughing. We assume it has something to do with this woman. Read the rest of this entry

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